What am I/Are We?

I dont precisely remember, but it ended the confusing conversation and she had sex with me.

@VA

LMAO. Did she laugh or give you a dirty look?

Onehorny,

It’s not just us old fuckers that can’t figure it out. Our late twenties nephew who describes himself as very gay, says that he’s over all the new and ever changing descriptors.

We met some younger couple at Desire years ago. She gave me a complex description of what she considered herself.

At some point in time I asked her "I'm just trying to figure out if you're open to fucking me."

I gave up trying to figure it all out. Young people today are in a different place than us old fuckers from the 60's and 70's.

"And I just got lectured by a twenty year on about "Demisexuality" which I consider, if I understand it correctly, as much more of a preference, and possibly a temporary/transient preference, than an identity. On that note, doesn't the notion of "gender fluidity" go against the grain of labels anyway?"

I don't want this to sound like a lecture, but there is some current discussion around demisexuality as somewhere on the asexuality spectrum and if that's correct it is an identity that is possibly fixed.

I was listening to a podcast today and a portion of it was on gender fluidity. and it made me a little nuts. I have a hard time engaging with it as a fixed concept because of some personal history, but also because I keep wanting it to pick a side. Either it's about traversing male, female, and non-binary or it's about not assigning a personal gender because gender stereotypes are irrelevant (yes, I know that's properly a term of grammar, but here we are) and, no, both are true. The discussion, as usual, made me want to shout "get off my lawn."

Does anyone find that young people these days often simultaneously rail against labels and insist on the right to label themselves as they want? Take the newest variant on the expanding alphabet soup of sexual/gender identity. LGBT became LGBTQ. I had sort of assumed that Queer was for people who didn't want to be labeled by the other categories and that would be the end of it. Manageable, like LMNOP. Now we are at LGBTQIA. And I just got lectured by a twenty year on about "Demisexuality" which I consider, if I understand it correctly, as much more of a preference, and possibly a temporary/transient preference, than an identity. On that note, doesn't the notion of "gender fluidity" go against the grain of labels anyway?

I think we spend entirely too much time trying to label our behaviors.

I think it is good to understand what and why we are doing things, but to try to label everything is a certain way to go down many rabbit holes.

If you ask 10 people "What is marriage?" you will get 15 answers.

What is the "right" way to be a swinger? We have had untold numbers of threads devoted to the subject over the years...

If it works for you and your partner, enjoy yourself and don't get hung up on labels...

Funy

LOL if it were only that easy we would all be that much better off. :)

While there are a zillion labels that I admit I can't really keep track of, for the purposes of what people on SLS need to know about you, "Bi" will suffice.

@That7girl Thanks for pointing g that out, had updated it but it apparently didn't stick.
Fixed now ??

Just when you think you have yourself all figured out, some aspect or other will likely change. But that's okay, because you just need to explain yourself in the moment: what you're interested in, where your boundaries are, what you want to do. The Theory of You is an interesting intellectual exercise for you - "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom" - but is of limited utility for long term planning.

Personally, I find the word "queer" to be the most useful addition to the lexicon of sexual identity precisely because it's so inexact that I never need to change it as a descriptor.

why label yourself. be you.

Given what you have said, I am surprised you list yourself as "bi curious" rather than "bi".