I need some advice

Ok, I'll talk to her about the naturopath suggestion. Maybe it will work, we will have to wait and see.

"She doesn't get jealous..."

Yeah, I have a funny story about that. I don't get jealous either. At the end of last summer, talking on the phone to my partner in crime, someone I've known since 2003, when after spending less than 12 hours together in the previous six months, he proposed doing a thing without me, something he's done countless times before.

"Oh, FUCK NO."

After a moment of silence, barely able to get it out over his own belly laugh, he said that was fucking awesome.

I'm still embarrassed, but haven't wavered. He's still amused.

Moral of the story: under the right circumstances, everyone can be jealous and possessive. Except maybe the Dalai Lama.

Is she on any medication? Prescribed, supplements, over the counter? A LOT of meds can cause lack of interest and make it hard to orgasm. These are important side effects that no one tells people about. Did her doctor check her hormones before calling this perimenopause? I agree with Ms. Molly about seeing a naturopath who specializes in women's care.

My husband and I went through something similar when I was the same age.

Thank you both for the comments.

To clarify, it is just her libido and her paps came back with everything good. She doesn't get jealous and has attractions to other people as well, its just she isn't wanting the sex part. We talked about it and its just she doesn't get the same feeling as before with sex. Its harder for her to cum and she doesn't get the same elation with cumming.

My thought was that she is just stressed and needs a break. I suggested rest and a non-clinical path, but she said she just wanted to run its course instead of taking a holistic approach.

I'll keep what you both said in mind and do some more research on my part.

"After getting checked out, with nothing wrong..."

This is why I see a naturopath instead of conventional doctors. There is definitely something wrong. Your wife's libido has gone awol and that's not actually normal. So even if her regular doctors can't discern the cause and all her test results are in the normal range, it's not something you and she have to live with.

Find a naturopath who specializes in hormones and women's health, because then you'll get something other than a shrug and a mumbled "maybe perimenopause..."

Try that first, before you jump ship and go off on your own, even if your wife is fine with it. Not because doing this on your own is wrong, but because it might exacerbate the situation if feelings are part of the reason for loss of libido.

By no means am I trying to be rude. I am trying to give you some advice. It's worth what you are paying for it.

I am assuming that she has lost sexual desire and that includes YOU. If not, then what I am writing will make no sense and you got a different issue at hand.

First and foremost, yes, women's hormones change. This can be a cause of a lack of sexual desire. Honestly, at her age, she is young for this to be occurring. There are internal issues, emotional issues and physical issues. Staying on the internal, your wife is at the age where she may be getting fibroids. Fibroids can cause pain, cause weight gain, and prolong her period. These, while directly not turning off her libido, will make her not want to have sex, thus the same result. When she has her pap smear, ask about it. I bring this up because the doctors will tell you that fibroids are common. That basically they suggest doing nothing unless it becomes a big issue because the fibroids will eventually dissolve. For my wife, that didn't happen. She had fibroids that were over 5cm and had a hysto to clear that issue up. Once that occurred . . . holy shit . . . her pussy woke the fuck up. She became hornier than when she was 15.

Most women are trained to equate sex with emotion. She may have emotional issues that are turning her libido off. This can be anything from stress at work, stress in the marriage, money problems, not feeling sexy, you name it. Look hard at this section.

Physically, honestly, she needs to lose some weight. Both men and women, when they get fatter get less hornier. That was gud engrish there :) Exercise does wonders for waking up the hormones and getting shit moving around in your body. Look at your diet. I know this sounds like I am picking on her, but this is something that I have noticed after doing this for over 20 years. There is a couple we are great friends with. She is adamant that we always go out to some fancy restaurant and then go back and fuck. Well, consuming a fat laden meal that is probably 2000 calories does not make one horny, it makes one sleepy. It fucks with your stomach. So look at the diet of what and when you are eating.

Now if she is only horny for you and no one else. That's a different story and that is something that only you can answer. You know your relationship better than anyone else. You know if she is going to get jealous, envious or any other negative emotion more than we ever will. If you feel the 60 minutes of pleasure is worth that, then go for it. If you think she is sincere and those are not issues, then try it once and see how she reacts.

I can tell you though what you are discussing then is what a lot of people would classify as 'advanced.' We were ~15 years into the lifestyle before we would do things completely separately. It is something we do on occasion, not all the time. But our comfort level and length of marriage gives us peace of mind and understanding of each other.

First time poster here. I need some serious advice but I don't know how to go about asking except for here.

Situation:
I don't know how to go about saying this but here goes. About 5 years ago, my wife signed us up here to experiment and have some fun. We didn't find anything really and life caught up to us until about 3-4 months ago. We sat down and talked about what we were looking for, but we noticed something wrong. My wife lost most of her sex drive and no one knows why. The only thing we were told is that she might be pre-menopausal. After getting checked out, with nothing wrong, we are now in a situation where she just wants me to experience the lifestyle more so then her.

Now I'm not saying this just to try and plead a case, but I honestly don't know what to do. We are both comfortable with seeing other people as its just sex, but I'd rather us do it together. I think she just wants me to have fun until whatever it is runs its course, or when her hormones settle down. It doesn't help though that my sex drive is probably the highest its ever been for some reason and she is getting kind of annoyed with it, lol.

Should I go ahead and have some fun without her, or just wait a while till life takes it's course in a few years or so? Neither one gets jealous, but why should I have all the fun.