shyness

So might be odd. All parties hopefully know what the goal of the evening should be. We were always tight at first. Then realized relax and be yourself. If the chemistry is there fine. If not ok hopefully you had fun conversing etc etc. TBH with that attitude for us things have been a blast and if not ok..

Confidence is by far the sexiest thing anyone can have . I have in the past seen women very much heavier than myself really having a great time and getting a lot of attention from men of ALL sizes and I wondered what was wrong with me , how come I wasn't getting the attention . It's because of where my confidence was back then . Now, even with my ' flaws ' I am very confident and what do you know, I get plenty of attention from young men, men my age, older men , fit men and heavier men . I had a lover for over a year who is 9 years younger than me and a competitive body builder , he couldn't get enough of me and told me so many times my confidence was so sexy and the way I carried myself was classy . I'm now enjoying a gentleman 10 years older than me and we mesh very well together .
Confidence is the best thing to have, work on that and I agree with working on talking with strangers in all settings to get use to it , a smile goes a LONG way and kind words go even further :-) And, there are also those that prefer larger people .

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY

Just nothing personal but you are not a swinger and don't get naked and have sex with other people. The man was asking why women who do get naked and have sex with other men besides their husband don't pay any attention to him. I told him the truth.

When you and your husband start to get naked and have sex with other people for a few years then come back and tell me if I am being truthful.

Good thing I have kind eyes and a nice smile lol

Nutcal is special , meaning he thinks he knows everything about everything...... The things that he says are very narrow minded . Of course SOME people are attracted to the fit , buff , gym rat kind of person. What he doesn't get is that not everyone is . Definitely your wife is and will get more attention . That is the nature of the lifestyle and mankind . I believe that if you and the wife communicate and are having fun then go with the flow. You will eventually meet someone or a couple that likes you for personality , looks or whatever . Just enjoy your time and have fun with your wife . All the other things will come around..

NCAL
From your posts it is obvious that you are fixated on weight and fitness. “You” have every right to be who you are. But, you are being presumptuous when you definitively state “Women are attracted to men who are not overweight”. Please don't speak for me. As my husband stated in the post just before your post, weight and fitness are not a consideration for us. Our first consideration is personality. How do they make us feel when we are are together. IMHO It would be completely correct for you to say, “I am attracted to men who are not overweight”. That having been said we completely agree with you regarding hygiene. We are turned off by anyone who has poor hygiene.

Well stated Just_Us1 , I thoroughly agree with you!

Its just fun to watch the way people react to other people but at a club and in a public party place like Fremont Street in Vegas.
When a man asks why he is not getting any attention from women its one of several things. One is he is over weight. Two even if he is in great shape he has no confidence. Three he is not taking care of his hygiene of is dressed like a slob.

Women are attracted to men who are not overweight and are confident that are not slobs. Its just the way our biology is.

Schexy,

This lifestyle is made up of all types of people. Yes, there are many people who are turned on by just physical appearance. We are older and far from being “gym rats”, so we get passed over by such people all the time. That's fine with us. We have found that we really want to be with people who are outgoing and down to earth, no matter what shape they are in. They generally really know how to “get down”. If you want to connect more you are going to have to learn how to be more “engaging”. Always remember “sw, sw, sw, sw, sw” (some will, some won't, so what, somewhere, somebody will).

Rule number whatever. The more of a hard body a man is with confidence the more those woman are going to chose him to go have sex with. Add a smile and he gets lots of sex.
Fit men at any age are so rare today that they get a lot of attention from the women. Hung is never part of the discussion.

Fit women are also getting harder and harder to find. They get so much attention from men at a club. its really fun to watch them all strut and prance aground trying to get her to notice them

Rule #1 Women will always get more attention.

Rule #2 about 2/3 of the time they are getting that attention from a guy.

Rule#3 Not all of those guys, as a matter of fact Most of those guys , are not hung, hardbody, 30 years olds.

My wife is attracted to the shyer guys who can start an interesting conversation.

Why does the truth not matter? He is asking why women are not paying attention to him and I told him the truth

Sorry about ncal, Schexy. Unless you like whack job conspiracy theories, non sequiturs, exceedingly poor grammar and spelling, and the occasional bit of rudeness about others, you'd be well advised to block him.

Be real, you are close to 100lbs overweight. You want attention from women hit the gym and get fit.

Hi Schexy. Welcome.

Sorillo is right about the need to practice your company manners early and often. And, really, this is definitely a place for faking it 'til you make it. Most of us have at least transitory moments of awkwardness and shyness, but if you also practice not being in your own head judging yourself, those moments pass in ways that are invisible to others.

Your wife will get lots of attention, largely because she is part of the group that is sought. Even if she's super dynamic and outgoing, it's still probably other people expressing an interest that makes it easier for her. You on the other hand are part of the group generally thought to be seekers, which means not a lot of people are going to express an interest in you first, even if they are intrigued. So, awkward shyness or not, if you want attention, you're going to have to learn how to express your own interest as a way to open the conversation.

Any chance you and your wife can confine yourselves to playing as a couple until you get more comfortable with the challenges of swinging?

Same way that one gets to Carnegie Hall.... Practice, practice, practice.

And by that I mean that you should talk to new people. Constantly. Talk to the cashier at the grocery store, or the folks in the next stall at the self-serve car wash, or the parcel delivery person that drops off your latest ebay purchase. Talk about the weather, ask about the wine they have in their grocery cart, or their opinion on the hiking boots they're wearing etc. The subject doesn't matter much, talking to new people is what matters.

Getting used to striking up conversations with new folks is the major hurdle (I constantly have to push myself in this regard, as I'm naturally kind of reticent, so I know where you're coming from). So practice it in vanilla life.