What if I told you that chastity is very different from what you would likely imagine it to be? What if it actually changes you and your relationship in a very profound way - a way that would bring you next level love, care, and attention? Would you want to learn more about it? Would you maybe even... try it?In this episode Venus is joined by author Key Barrett to talk about his two week chastity experiment and how by day three everything had changed - so much so, that he was inspired to write Locked in Love - How two weeks in chastity can end the barter system, renew courtship and make a better husband. This is the episode for everyone, but especially for couples who are curious about truly putting her first!About Key Barrett:Key Barrett is the pseudonym of a published author. What is not a pseudonym is the M.Sc. He has a Masters of Science in Anthropology. Key studied sexual subcultures across to Europe and North America, before turning his attention to Female-Led Relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong.He writes both non fiction and fiction with a female-leadership bent. All works are judgment-free and always between consenting adults. Click here to see his author page on Amazon and find him on TwitterVenus Cuckoldress - https://venuscuckoldress.com/New Merch! - https://www.fullswapshop.com/store/venus-cuckoldress/Submit a question for the show - https://venuscuckoldress.com/ask-venus/Pillow Talks - https://www.crowdcast.io/venuscuckoldressBecome a Patreon supporter - https://www.patreon.com/VenusCuckoldressTwitter - https://twitter.com/CuckoldressVInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/cuckoldressvenuspodcast/YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxpeMPYHPFIapapZDoaa03wFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/The-Venus-Podcast-107081554590774Support the showDestination Links for Venus - https://linktr.ee/venuscuckoldressLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/ 👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/ ❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/Support the showDestination Links for Venus - https://lnk.bio/VenusPodcast
Transcript
Hey, are you looking for a hot wife? Maybe you're looking for a cuckold relationship. Then you need to join Venus Connections matchmaking service. It's totally private, it's fun blind dates, and all members are vetted. And it works. There was even a wedding last year and there'll be another one next year. It's definitely hard to find your life partner. I know. And it's even harder to find this kind of relationship. But you'll never win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket, right? So join VenusConnections.com. That's VenusConnections.com. And find the relationship of your dreams.
On this episode of the Venus Cuckoldress podcast. Today is the long awaited episode on chastity. So what is it that makes chastity so compelling within a loving cuckolding relationship? Here today to join me is Key Barrett who wrote the book Locked in Love which is all about his two-week trial of chastity. It's a little experiment and let me just say right now for all of you who have never experimented with chastity before, let me be the first to tell you, it is nothing like what you expect it to be. And that's exactly why Key Barrett felt compelled to write this book.
If you're really worried that having your wife hold your key for two weeks is going to turn you into something that you're not, you probably need to look a little bit harder at what's going on with your life. Sitting in the car and having her reach over and touch my hand when I was driving, all of a sudden I've got butterflies in my stomach. It was wonderful. We're in a relationship where I was a good husband. I wanted her to feel like, you know, she's entitled to her pleasure, all that sort of stuff. But this was like a level beyond being entitled to your pleasure.
It was believing that your pleasure is paramount. Female pleasure is amazing to witness. It is so different from male pleasure. It is this, you know, sort of earth-shattering kind of just amazing sort of thing. And when you're locked in chastity and this is all you're gonna get you hang on every moment it's like this incredible validation of her sexual needs welcome to the venus cuckoldress podcast a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, the passionate, and the sexually empowered woman who wants it all.
Make sure you go to venuscuckoldress.com to subscribe to the podcast and check out the Venus blog. And of course, if you love it, share it. Now, sit back, make yourself comfortable, and enjoy the show with your host, Venus. Welcome to this episode of the Venus Cuckoldress podcast. I'm your host, Venus. Thanks so much for joining me today. All right, today, oh my God, I'm so fucking excited for this episode. I think you're going to love it. It was so much fun to record, so I'm pretty sure you're going to have a lot of fun listening to it.
My friend Key Barrett is here, and he wrote the book on chastity, in love and before i get into that i just want to say i finally got my merch in the mail i'm super fucking happy about it i'm international shipping so i had to wait a little longer than most of you americans um but i love it i can i just say the pink on black looks fucking so good. I absolutely fucking love it. And I also got the coffee mug and it looks super nice. I'm very, very happy with it. So if you want to check it out, see what it actually looked like.
I've got some pictures on my Twitter at Cuckoldress V or you can check out my Instagram page. Links are in the show notes for today. I also want to say I have the most amazing Patreon supporters. Thank you so much to everybody who has actually taken the step to support this podcast by becoming a Patreon member.
I appreciate you so much because you allow me to do this as my full-time job so fucking thank you so much and as a patreon supporter you get lots of perks for membership you get a weekly mini episode every week and lots more but one thing i wanted to mention was in if you're in the backstage past, you can actually book a one-to-one voice chat with myself, and I've done this several times now for my Patreon supporters, and let me just say, I really cherish those conversations.
I have learned so much from all of you that I just feel like this just enriches my knowledge and understanding of this lifestyle and my ability to kind of critically think my way through it. So thank you so much to all of you who have supported the podcast through Patreon and especially for those of you who have booked those one-on-one chats, I've really, really enjoyed them. So if you want to become a Patreon supporter, you just go to patreon.com forward slash Venus Cockle Driss. That link is in the show notes as well.
All right, it's time now to get right into this chastity chat with my friend Key Barrett. Here we go. All right, joining me on the show today is Key Barrett, and I'm super excited to have him on. This is a topic that's near and dear to my heart. So a little bit about Key Barrett. So Key Barrett is the pseudonym of a published author.
And what is not a pseudonym is the MS msc he has a master of science in anthropology so he studied sexual subcultures across to europe and north america before turning his attention to female-led relationships and specifically what makes the good ones so strong he writes both non-fiction and fiction with a female bent. All works are judgment-free and always between consenting adults. So welcome, Key Barrett. I'm so happy to have you on the show today. I'm really excited to be here, Venus. Well, okay. So this is the thing.
When I first started this podcast, I immediately had people asking me, when are you going to talk about chastity? Like, when are you going to cover this? Because I have a way for people to call into the show and leave a voicemail question. I've had tons of questions about chastity. I haven't answered any of them on the show yet because I have been waiting. I just really, really wanted to have you on the show to be able to go over it.
Because let me just say, okay, my audience, the majority of my audience are couples who are considering bringing this into their relationship or have already brought it into their relationship. But by and far, most of them are fairly kind of vanilla-ish otherwise. So this is kind of like their main kind of sexy thing they've got going on. And so I love the fact that you wrote this book, Locked in Love, because it's written in a way that is easy for people to understand who are just kind of curious about it, who have maybe never really, um, dived into this area.
So tell me, um, what was it that inspired you to write this book? Uh, that's a great question. Um, well, you mentioned before that I write, um, fiction as well. And, uh, my, most of my fiction, but not all of it is female dominated. And I always wanted to make sure that I'm being authentic. So I had a story that had the woman putting the man in chastity and he was going through a lot of emotional things. And I wanted to make sure that this was right. So I discussed it with my wife and I went on Amazon and rather surprisingly found I could get a male chastity device delivered to me in two days.
So I'm definitely not alone in this because that's Amazon putting that into their logistics system. But we decided to do it and we set down some ground rules with the idea that I would go through it for two weeks with her being the key holder to see what it felt like so that I could make sure I was writing an authentic character. And what happened was very quickly within the third day, we both noticed some very serious differences that were happening, things that we weren't expecting at all. And they were very positive differences.
So we'd agreed that I would journal it anyway, and I would journal just for fun. I would get her to tell me what she's feeling and thinking, because that always helps to write more authentic characters. And we quickly discovered that this was becoming something more than just a fun little thing to do on the side. style clothing brand you can wear with pride. Don't sacrifice quality and comfort any longer. With Maison Dinesh, you get both in fresh, empowering looks for every occasion, for everyone. From the streets to the sheets and everywhere in between. Check us out at MaisonDinesh.com.
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I really love that because you know what my first experience with chastity was I had never heard of it I'd never seen it or anything like that and I first came across it you know the story i do i talked about this on the what women want uh podcast my first exposure to chastity was i had just been introduced to cuckolding i heard about this whole prostate milking thing and i was like i have no idea what that is like I don't know what that is but I'll just look it up and so I was watching this porn video and this the guy came out in a in a chastity cage and I like this plastic one I had no fucking clue what that was what is this like a fashion statement like I don't know what the fuck this thing is and then she she was like unlocking it and taking it off and you should have seen my face i was just like what the fuck is that the plastic ones especially can look like like if you have no idea it's like, did he just bedazzle his penis?
Right? I was like, what is this accessory he's got going on here? I didn't understand it at all, but it was, it was a really funny first exposure to it. But then shortly, shortly after that, I, I, I started a friendship with my friend and Jay and, and he had been in long-term chastity with his girlfriend. And he was the one who explained to me, cause I was like, I don't understand what, what that is. Like that makes no sense to me.
And he was the one who explained to me exactly what you were saying where there is this um kind of uh change that happens with chastity that changes uh it especially changes the person wearing the chastity but also the key the key holder so it changes the whole relationship and i found that so fascinating So that was my curiosity was because I was like, okay, maybe this isn't just like a physical restraint. Maybe this is more of like a mental exercise. And it seems like it sounds like that's what you were beginning to kind of realize on day three. Am I correct? Oh, 100%.
Because first and foremost, you know, almost every chastity device can be gotten out of if you really put your mind to it. So it is, in that sense, a mental exercise, right? And you've, you know, chastity doing this is like any other kind of thing. Like there's a similarity to, I'm assuming with cuckolding, where like if the communication is garbage beforehand and you don't bother to communicate out anything, you're going to have problems, right? Yes. But when you do communicate and you set down very simple ground rules, like for ours, it was she's the key holder. She gets to unlock me.
I don't get to unlock myself. It's two weeks. I can do this. If she wants to fool around, she can keep me locked, right? This is all up to her. Yeah. And you agree to that ahead of time. So by the third day, you're already beginning to experience feelings that you haven't felt for a very long time.
And this is to say that our relationship was great before this but you know you lose the novel you lose the new and what the the butterflies in the stomach that you get like when you're on the third date with somebody you really like and they came back like just sitting in the car and having her reach over and touch my hand when I was driving, and all of a sudden I've got butterflies in my stomach. It was wonderful and delightful and, you know, new and different and exciting, you know? Because this is, you know, despite what I write about, we have a fairly vanilla relationship.
So the second we put this lock on, we were already in taboo territory, which made it, you know, fun to begin with, but just, just realizing that I could get joy out of like real joy out of, well, if you want to go like Frank sexuality, like just witnessing her having an orgasm and knowing I'm not going to, um, or just sitting down and feeling this wave of contentment come over me when I'm looking and just seeing how happy she is. These are strange and wonderful feelings to have come flooding back in. And obviously I've been saying me this whole time, and I'm totally aware of that.
But for her, it was incredibly empowering. Right. Yes. We talk and I'm sure we'll talk about it a little bit about sex pressure. But, you know, the the biggest orgasm killer for for a lot of women is, you know, is this good? Are you enjoying it? Are you are you going to come? you know? Yes, yes. Right. Absolutely.
Well is you know is this good are you enjoying it are you are you gonna come you know yes right absolutely well you know what i think within within cuckolding i was thinking about this before we started chatting i was thinking about like you know how why is it that cuckolding fits so nicely with um with chastity and chastity within cuckolding and i think that like within the kink world it's way more common to find chastity kind of linked with cuckolding so it's very very common and then within like the vanilla world where you know couples are just trying out you know a cuckolding it's not as common and within hot wifing and stag vixen and that sort of stuff is not as common.
It still happens. It's still there, but it's not as common. But I think that the common kind of like denominator between the two is that it is about her, that it makes it about so much about her. And I love the fact that you had your wife write a journal and you, you know, we're constantly checking in with her. And I love the fact that you had your wife write a journal and, uh, you, you know, we're constantly checking in with her and the, and how you were able to witness her kind of embrace her power like that. Oh my God. I will tell you key. Okay.
this is my favorite part of cuckolding relationships is witnessing and embracing and celebrating women who are able to take control of their own sexuality and just run with it and not be shamed and not be judged and not feel bad about it, but to just go for it. And I love that that kind of happened within your your two week chastity trial. I that just makes me like so incredibly happy.
So what what I yeah, what I do really want to talk about is I okay, when you brought up the barter system in your book I was like holy shit this is something that I have always thought about but never really been able to point my finger on it and I think that people who read your book when they get to that part will be like oh damn you just pointed out something that is, it is so legit. That it's like, it's kind of profound, because as soon as I read that, I was like, that's it. That's exactly what it is. So please explain to my listeners, what is the barter system?
And how How did that kind of factor into your two week trial of chastity? Sure. The barter system, and how did that kind of factor into your two-week trial of chastity? Sure. The barter system is a very common way of sex negotiation in most relationships. And so it happens sort of subliminally. You're not really aware. Sometimes you're aware, but you're not, like you said, able to put your finger on it. And what it is is a a subtle sort of negotiation, sort of a workforce that's right.
Like, you know, paying more attention, you know, doing the dishes, taking the trash out, all these sorts of things in the hopes that they equal a high enough value that you don't necessarily feel guilty asking for sex. And you don't really realize you're doing it because it just feels like, Hey, I'm really helped out. I'm being helpful. I feel like sex. I feel good about it. Right. But whoever is the partner who is the quote unquote giver of sex. And that happens in any relationship where one person has a higher sex drive than the other. Right.
The one with the lower sex drive is the by default, the giver of sex. Yeah. The giver of sex notices this and it's a form of sex pressure and it's nobody's fault. And the reason it's there is because it's the first system you learn as a young male and it works and people don't want to walk away from what works, right? And then it becomes institutionalized and you don't realize it's happening. And I didn't realize it was happening. And again, I make it sound like we had a terrible marriage. We didn't because like I said, it works.
But recognizing it all of a sudden and your locked penis is an excellent barometer for sex pressure because you know it the second you're like, oh, yes, I can feel this now. That's this is the I'm doing here. When I realized I was doing it, I was almost ashamed, right? And had to kind of process through it. And then communicating with my wife, Miss Key, about it, she was able to kind of put words like you were just now on it.
Like, yeah, is kind of you know she'd accepted that this is how relationships work when they don't in fact have to work that way it's just you know i can give you a little bit of a like anecdotal history of like why this happens to people if you want yes let's hear it so so when you're a boy who's 11 years old, you have on average, uh, between seven and 130, uh, grams per deciliter of testosterone in your system. Now those milligrams per deciliter, uh, deciliter doesn't matter. Just the number seven to one 30, right? Yeah. By the time you're 13, it's 1200.
So it's like driving a diesel rabbit and suddenly overnight someone gives you the keys to a Formula One vehicle, right? You just have no way to drive this thing. You know, an average 40-year-old man with a fully formed brain has 800. So, you know, they're – and that's still hard for 40-year- to concentrate. So, so when this hits you like a wave, and now you're thinking about women and you're thinking about how you do this, the only thing you have to go on is probably the strongest relationship you have with a woman in your life, which is your mother. And this is not the same for everybody.
These are generalisms, you know, so this is like pop psychology in that sense. It's general. If it applies to you, great. If it doesn't throw it away. Right. And your relationship with your mother is purely transactional at that stage. You know, clean your room. If you want to sleep over at Billy's, right. Mow the lawn. If you want to get an allowance and it works, it works for both parties. You know, when you're 13, your mom doesn't want to have anything to do with you or your room because she knows what's going on.
Wanted to have anything to do because you're young, you're full of testosterone, you want some independence. So the relationship works. And this is the one that you internalize. And that is a barter system. And then you go to college and the barter system works there. You get into relationships, the barter system works there. The only time you're not really doing it is when you first start off relationship with somebody who really makes, makes the world sing. Right. And that I'm not talking about the first time you kiss.
I'm talking about like, you know, the third date when you just, just looking at her, just, just makes butterflies come up when you've, you're in that beautiful courtship phase when you're having sex and you're not worried about when it's going to happen or what you have to do next. Cause you're both just like goo goo eyes for each other. Right. There's no barter system there because you're both, you know, wanting what, what each other wants. And basically all you want is each other. And her smile fills your sails, that kind of stuff.
And then the courtship phase goes away, and then we go back to the barter system. So you don't have to do the barter system. You can get back to kind of a courtship phase. But even if that courtship phase comes and goes, you will be aware of the barter system and how you've been using it, and you will recognize it, and you'll feel uncomfortable doing it. So when you're working in the yard or doing something like that, you're doing it solely because this is my responsibility. This is what I do. I'm not doing this to curry favor with my wife. And that takes away a lot of sex pressure.
And the irony of sex for a lot of people is if they don't feel like they have to have it, they want it. I believe that actually. Yeah. I think that that's really important for women when the pressure is off it is way more enjoyable it is and you do want it more and it's you want it because you don't have to but you you actually just want it for yourself and that's pretty amazing so it was this it was this experiment that made you aware of the barter system or were you Thank you. for yourself. And that's pretty amazing.
So it was this, it was this experiment that made you aware of the barter system or were you kind of aware of it before? Well, I was kind of aware in the sense that, you know, relationships are transactional and, you know, there are times when you think to yourself, okay, I just painted the entire spare room. Uh, if I want it, we're having, you know, she's wanted me to do that for forever. I did it. It was hours and hours of work. It looks great, you know, and, you know, you're aware of that kind of situation.
I think anybody is, and I don't want that to necessarily go away because, you know, there's a lot of fun in that kind of thing. But I was not aware of how near constant it can be, right? That it can pervade every little detail of your life. And it's not like it's this overarching big monster of sex on your shoulder. It's actually very, very quiet and very, very little, but it's, you know, it's steering you that way. You know, it reminds me of the uh, why do men name their penises? Have you ever heard this one? No, I don't think so. Because they don't want to take orders from a stranger.
Oh God. How have I not heard that joke yet? And, and it's sort of true. So you're, you, this, at least when you're in chassis, you discover the orders that you're being given. Yeah. You're aware of it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that I find that like, so, so incredibly fascinating. You know what? Um, like I said, I had always thought about this, but could never put my finger on it.
And I remember like before I even got into cuckolding relationships, or I think I was, I'd already been introduced to non-monogamy, but I do remember the very moment where I thought to myself, I could just imagine a relationship, being in a relationship that's way, way more simple if it was about more about me.
and I remember thinking that seemed like kind of selfish but what I was trying to think about was like a female kind of led relationship and what what I automatically assumed about that was that it would be so much more simple because I saw the barter system as this constant kind of tug of war where we always had to maintain that spot in the middle. Like I did this, so you need to do that.
And you know, constant kind of thing that's back and forth and, and just not having that, not having to have to meet in the middle, I just assumed would be like so much more simple and less stressful and just like be able to enjoy each other more and it sounds like that's exactly what happened in this experiment 100% we went you know we went from having a very good relationship that had pretty good lines of communication and we enjoyed ourselves.
And I thought that I was helping to empower her, which I was, you know, I'm a very supportive husband, but we went from that to a relationship where we were just completely able to be open and frank with each other about our desires or lack thereof, um, of what it meant to be a real partnership. And on top of that, to take it into the kind of the sexual realm, it freed her to, well, one of the things that was really empowering for her was when we did have sex in chastity, which is the thing, um, um, it was completely focused on her. Yeah. Right.
And I, I've, you know, we're in a relationship where I was a good husband. I wanted her to feel like, you know, she's entitled to her pleasure, all that sort of stuff. But this was like a level beyond being entitled to your pleasure. It was believing that your pleasure is paramount, if that makes sense. Like there's no selfish, yeah, there's no selfish, there's no such thing as a selfish female orgasm. Right. Amazing to behold. Female pleasure is amazing to witness. It is so different from male pleasure. Uh, it is this, you know, sort of earth shattering kind of amazing sort of thing.
And when you're locked in chastity and this is all you're going to get, you hang on every moment. It's like this incredible validation of her sexual needs right i? Oh, I love that. She takes however long she needs to take. If she comes, she comes. If she doesn't, she doesn't. There's no disappointment there, right? She doesn't have to think, okay, at the end of this, I've got to make sure he comes. Yeah, yeah. Right?
It's just about her, and her partner is there along for the ride, loving every last second it and that's just super empowering yeah oh my god I love that so much oh you know okay so day three you had this kind of like you both realized okay this is not going to be what we anticipated this is going to be really quite profound and and so and it made you focus on, like, obviously, the barter system, you became aware of that, but it made you focus so much on, on your wife's pleasure, it brought you guys closer together.
And it sounds like it, this whole process makes you better communicators and on a more kind of, I guess you're saying like an honest and blunt kind of way, which is amazing. You talked in your book a little bit about being more attentive. And this is what really caught my curiosity when my friend Jay was telling me about this, because that's what he said. He said, I am so much more attentive to her needs. And I thought, well, that sounds pretty fucking fabulous. So the reason why I'm asking this is because I have talked to a lot of guys over the years.
And there's like two camps, those the one camp that's like, Oh, yeah, you know, I'm really interested in chastity. I think I would like to try it, at least try it, right? And then there's the other camp where they're like, oh, fuck, no, like, I could never do that. I just could never do that. I like masturbation way too much. Or I could never go more than one day without it. And or I need to masturbate because of my for health reasons or whatever. So I think that that camp is really oblivious of the kind of immense change and benefit it can have on your relationship.
They're completely oblivious about that part. And it's really hard for me to explain it because like, I'm a woman, I can't. But that's's why I love so much about your book because you go into detail about all of those benefits that happen within your relationship that you can only really understand once you've, um, you know, gone through with trying out chastity. So it seems like there's so much that, that is a benefit that, um, I'm hoping that more people are like more guys and more open minded to it. It's amazing that your wife was totally OK with signing up with this, too.
Yeah, it kind of surprised me when I made the suggestion to her. I was thinking there would be a little bit of a pushback and she's like, yeah, like, yeah, okay. What do I have to do? And I was like, you just told the key, and you decide pretty much everything. And, you know, we decided at the beginning we were just going to do it for one week, right? Because that would be all I needed. And then we both agreed pretty much after day three that, like, oh, we need to see where this goes. And so we decided to do it for two weeks. You know, it's funny.
You talk about the guys that say, well, I need it for health reasons. I need it because I masturbate every day or, or something like that. And I have a very high sex drive.
The higher your sex drive, the quicker you get to that butterfly moment, because now this is, this is, there's obviously not a lot of research, paid research out there about um you know nobody in the universities are saying okay we need 10 control subjects and 10 men who will put on chastity devices and then we'll you know measure their dopamine and blah but um there's pretty good hypotheses out there based on what we do know about the male orgasm, about what's going on there. And I'm not going to go into too much detail because it can be a little scientific.
But when you start to feel pleasure, your body starts releasing dopamine. And dopamine is, you know, when you do heroin, that's dopamine.
When you dive into an entire thing of wheat fins and you feel great while you're eating that's because your body's just releasing a ton of dopamine and uh dopamine is wonderful and when it goes away you crash yeah um so when you get locked in chastity um things move from sexual to sensual very quickly um and sensual though still triggers a dopamine release but what happens when you have an orgasm is you have this huge spike of dopamine and then your body releases prolactin which shuts it all down yeah and that's the crash and that's the kind of depressive state and then to make up for it it releases a ton of oxytocin which is i you not, oxytocin is called the cuddle hormone because you get it.
You can get oxytocin right now if you just go and cuddle somebody you like. I've heard of that. Your body will release it. If you have a really great heartfelt conversation, your body releases oxytocin.
But so what happens with dopamine in chastity is that it builds up and your body will take it back in at a certain rate but the rate of reuptake is lower than the rate of dopamine production so the longer you stay locked and the longer you are caressing your partner's feet or you know flirting and kissing or you know you know, watching her have an orgasm or helping her have one, the more dopamine is flooding into your system and not being removed by prolactin.
So you very quickly get this sort of, I guess, runner's high is kind of a way of thinking of it because I'm pretty sure runner's high is actually dopamine as well.
And on top of your body is going to release a ton of oxytocin as well so anytime that you're rubbing her feet when you're on this high you know your body's going to be like oh you're caressing somebody here have a whole bunch of oxytocin so it turns you into this big kind of cuddly snuggle there uh listening to her talk about her day you know and and men have this horrible not all men but this horrible problem that like their wife their girlfriend their partner their husband could come home and say i just had the worst fucking day and i'm so fucking sick of my boss and let me tell you what happened and in our heads we're thinking about this is how we fix this problem for you.
Yes. When what really needs to happen nine times out of 10 is just to sit there, listen, you know, be supportive, give that hug when it's needed and just let them vent. Yep. Right? Yep. Right? Simple as that. That's the difference between oxytocin and testosterone, right? Yeah. Oxytocin is like, oh, that sounds terrible. Tell me more. Thank you. simple as that. So that's the difference between oxytocin and testosterone, right? Oxytocin is like, Oh, that sounds terrible. Tell me more. Give me a hug. And testosterone is like, I'm gonna fucking kill that guy.
I'm just like picturing this in my mind. This is so accurate. So, so, you know, but there's also want to add to add one more thing about masturbation is that masturbation is incredibly healthy. And I, and I talk about this in the book, you probably remember this part. I don't want to take healthy masturbation away from anybody, but there's healthy masturbation and then there's unhealthy masturbation, which we don't really know how to differentiate. So we get to a point because that big rush of dopamine release and how it's a huge Thank you.
which we don't really know how to differentiate so we get to a point because that big rush of dopamine release and how it's a huge stress reliever that's great masturbation is fantastic for that except when we use it instead of right i masturbated instead of talking to my wife about the fight we just had i masturbated instead of of, you know, confronting the fact that I'm afraid of losing my job. Right. Yeah. Then it's, then it's a crutch. It's no different than a drug. Right. Right.
And you learn very quickly in chastity when, especially if you're somebody like me who has a very high sex drive and, you know, tends to do that a lot. You learn very quickly when you were not doing it for sexual pleasure or a simple release, but you were doing it because something pissed you off or, you know, you were upset about sleeping, you know, sleeping poorly. Although actually, I think in that case, masturbation would probably be a good answer to that.
All of that prolactin help you sleep after And what about the guys who are hesitant to try chastity because they think that it will somehow threaten their masculinity? What would you say to that? Well, there's macho and there's masculinity. So if you're really worried that having your wife hold your key for two weeks is going to turn you into something that you're not, you probably need to look a little bit harder at what's going on with your life because it's going to give you really wonderful feelings. It's going to make you feel more connected to your wife.
It'll make you, mean they're worried that it's going you know i think turn them into a submissive or something like that well if you have submissive tendencies it's certainly going to bring them out and there's nothing wrong with that because one of the things that i learned when researching my female-led relationship book is that in many of the female-led relationships the guy was what you would call mega alpha anywhere else, but he just knew. Yeah. He just knew that she was his leader.
And so, you know, he's more like an aid to camp to her, a number two, as opposed to, you know, people have this vision of like, oh, well, female in relationships, he must wear a French maid's outfit and walk around and kiss her feet all day right you know because you you talked about this before cuck porn is nothing like you know cuckolding in real life it's a bad shitty version of it and and femdom which i love it's great but it's a bad shitty version of female-led relationships and then you know so um if they're worried about that, they need to, they need to just, you know, if you're interested, if this interests you at all, talk to your wife and give it a try.
If you don't like it, take it off. You don't have to go all two weeks.
And, you know, as I say in the book, you shouldn't have a spare key with you all the time, because if it starts to hurt or God forbid, it feels wrong god forbid it feels wrong take it off yeah right yeah it's not it's not really enforced this is a promise you're making to your key holder more than a an actual you know fantasy i'm never getting out and i'm locked and that's permanent no you've got to clean yourself you've got to you gotta you gotta maintain things but you also get to feel this feeling like hey when you're at work it's a little bit taboo and every once in a while when you feel it it's like that's my wife's she's holding on to it right now and that's cool and then you'll get those butterflies again you know I really like that you stress that in the book because I think like guys get really worked up about this like oh my god just the thought of having like it locked it's like oh my god like I feel helpless like I can't do anything about it it's like it's not that bad no no I mean like you can wear it overnight when you sleep and you know what you'll get you know morning wood when everything's doing the systems check and yeah it'll hurt it won't hurt in a way that feels like I'm breaking my deck.
It'll just hurt. But you know what? If you're going to bed and you're in the bed with your wife, you know, and you say, Hey, can I take this off while I sleep? She's going to say yes. What are you going to do? Are you going to sneak one out there right then? You know, I think unless she's a really heavy sleeper, I think she's going to catch you. And you know what? I think it's so funny that there are so many chastity cages for sale on Amazon. Like you said, there's like, there's so fucking many. So that just goes to show, I think, how common it is becoming, I guess.
It's just very easily accessible. Okay, so you know what? I recommend for all of my listeners, if you are curious about chastity, or if you're just curious to learn more about what that experience was really like for Key, I would highly recommend his book. It's called Locked in Love. And it's not a super long read. It's very, very easy to get through. And a lot of really helpful tips. By the way, Ki, I love the fact that you had all of these tips, like throughout the book on like cleaning and, you know, aftercare and the drop and like, you know, be mindful of all of these sorts of things.
And I just, I fucking love that. So for all of the people who are curious about chastity, want to learn a little bit more about it, go out, buy the book. I just bought it off of Amazon, so it's readily accessible. And Ki, thank you so much for joining me today. Where can everybody find out more information about you and the other books that you have written? Well, I am, like you said, I am on Amazon and I have my own author page there. I have the Cassidy book. I have the book on female-led relationships and then a lot of very fun erotica, both femdom and femsub. So you can find me there.
Oddly enough, if you were to go on Walmart online, you can find my books. I don't know how I made it into their, yeah, I don't know how I made it into their system, but I'll take it. That's funny. Yeah. And I'm also on Twitter. You can interact with me, a key Barrett MSC on Twitter. That's my Twitter handle. At the end of all of my nonfiction books, I actually have my email. So if anybody has questions, they can reach out to me. I love those interactions. I learn just as much as I'm able to pass on to people information wise. It's always confidential. I don't retain emails for obvious reasons.
So, but if you want to reach out, you can. I'm always happy to hear from people. I'm always happy to hear success stories. And if I can just say one last thing, I'm actually looking for an illustrator.
So if anybody is interested in doing this, my next book is actually a big book of chastity sex positions because we've been going through all of them and they're a lot of fun and we need to illustrate them oh my god oh yeah oh yeah amazing chastity sex positions book oh sign me up yep that's amazing all right well um thank you so much for joining me on the show i really appreciate appreciate your insight, your experience, and obviously your background that's contributed to all of this. So thank you so much. And everybody out there, please go out and buy the book. It's fucking phenomenal.
It's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me, Venus. All right, that's it for today's episode to talk about chastity with my friend, Key Barrett. Thank you so much to everyone for joining me today. Thank you. All right, that's it for today's episode to talk about chastity with my friend Key Barrett. Thank you so much to everyone for joining me today. Make sure you go to venuscuckoldress.com. You can subscribe to the episode as well as if you press on the tab that says Ask Venus, the Venus hotline, you can actually send me a voicemail question for the show.
So you can also click on the button that says shop and have a look at the merchandise that we have for sale. And there's actually some new stuff on there. There's some Cuckolding is Love t-shirts, as well as some Chastity t-shirts. So make sure you go to check that out, venuscuckoldress.com, click on the tab that says shop. And if you would like to join in on the next Pillow Talk, which will be happening soon, make sure you go to venuscuckoldress.com, click on the link that says Pillow Talk. And there are some instructions on there about how you can do that. They're always so much fun.
All right, that's it for today. Thank you so much for joining me and we'll see you next time. have you heard of afterglow you guys this is so amazing you've you've probably heard me talk about cuck porn before and how much i'm not really a big fan and why because it's not really made for women, right? But Afterglow is different. Afterglow is ethical porn made by women for women. Well, it's for everyone, but it is especially for women. And I'll give you an example. They have hot wifing videos that one of them is that I watched. It was narrated by a woman. Okay.
So hot it It's from her perspective, from her point of view. Oh my God. So sexy. Lots of interaction between her and her husband. Lots of eye contact, all that sort of stuff. Like it's hot. Guys, if you want to get your wife or girlfriend into this kind of thing, watch this together. I'm telling you. But it's not just videos. They actually have guided masturbations. They have partner exercises to improve communication and intimacy. And they have candid interviews with sex educators, influencers and therapists. Like there's so much more than just porn videos. It's amazing.
Definitely check it out. With the code Venus, you can try it out for a week. The website is xoafterglow.com. And the code you need for your free week is Venus. That's xoafterglow.com. Check out the show notes if you can't remember if you just want the link. Enjoy.
