This episode features K.D. from Kink3D.com and explores the intricate world of chastity, debunking myths and highlighting the psychological and emotional components of this kink. Learn how chastity can significantly enhance intimacy and redefine sexual experiences for both partners. • Examination of common myths surrounding chastity • Discussion on the psychological aspects of wearing a chastity cage • Importance of proper fitting for comfort and satisfaction • Tips for maintaining hygiene while using chastity devices • Strategies for communicating about desires with partners • Insights into the rising popularity of chastity within relationshipsLinks:https://kink3d.com/ and https://bsky.app/profile/kink3d.comChastity in Cosmo - https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a63265805/chastity-fetish/Join the 2 Week Chasity Challenge - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/offers/FTNWndiv/checkoutJoin the Live Chats with Key Barrett MSc, and Venus - https://www.crowdcast.io/@venus-cuckoldressVenus s MaisonDeNeige line - https://www.maisondeneige.com/couture/p/bodysuitevenusJoymode: GREAT SEX SOLVED, NATURALLYUse Code VENUS for 20% off your first order at tryjoymode.com/venus🚀 Support your erection quality💪 Perform with confidence❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/ 👑♠️ Maison De Neige is high end lifestyle and streetwear fashion with a passion for the beauty of interracial combined with high fashion. Visit https://www.maisondeneige.com/ ❤️xoafterglow.com❤️ Meet the platform for ethical porn. Made by women, for women (and everyone). We make and share videos that portray sex accurately and treat performers with dignity, because nothing is sexier than consent. Use code VENUS for a free 7 day trial at ➡️ https://afterglow.ubpages.com/venus/Support the showDestination Links for Venus - https://lnk.bio/VenusPodcast
Transcript
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Here's what's coming up on the show. We see ourselves as being about halfway between sex toys and fashion accessories. And something that's so cool about Chastity is that it operates in both those worlds. It's definitely a sex toy, but it also is something that accentuates and accessorizes the body. I would say the single number one myth that we hear is that wearing a cage is going to make your penis smaller. So this is called shrinkage if you see it online. People constantly ask about it. And sometimes people are scared of this and they're worried about that.
And sometimes people are actually really aroused by that. And they say, ooh, is it going to shrink if you have a small penis humiliation kind of fetish? They're actually kind of excited by that. And the answer to both the people who want it and the people who are terrified of it is no, that is not going to happen. A lot of people who really aren't very familiar with chastity and are trying it for the first time think, if I find a cage that fits me right, it's going to be inescapable. I'm not going to be able to sneak my penis out of it. I'm not going to be able to cheat.
And the kind of dirty secret, if you will, of chastity products is that that's just not true. Yeah, we hear that all the time. Exactly what you said, that people will unlock and they'll come and they'll be so excited to come. And then as soon as they do, they will just immediately regret it. So it's a very addictive kink where, for sure, some people are just never going to be into it. It's not going to be their thing. But people who are into it get very, very into it.
This is the Venus Cuckolders podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate, and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. Let's go. Welcome to the show. I'm your host Venus.
Thanks for joining me today i have kd from king3d.com who's going to talk all about chastity cages and this is this is so fascinating you're going to love this episode i learned so much it was crazy and the air date for today's episode is february 1st which is day one of Locked in Love Chastity Challenge that I'm doing again with Key Barrett, one of my favorite authors and of my favorite books, Locked in Love. So we're going to do this two-week chastity challenge. It ends on Valentine's Day. So unlocking day is Valentine's Day. How sweet. What a great gift you're going to have for each other.
I have posted all of the rules for everybody involved in the chastity challenge, including those who are locked, those who are key holders and rules for everyone. And you can find those rules in the Queen's Quarters community at venuscuckoldress.com. It's free to join. If you want to join this challenge, you can get limited free access to I don't have to stay locked the whole time, obviously, but it is a really mind-blowing experience if you've never tried it before. It is incredible what it does for relationships. So give it a try. It's fun.
And as for announcements before we jump in, just a couple. I am going to be doing some live chats with Ki Barrett. We're going to do that on Crowdcast together. And this is to talk about chastity. These are two live chats that we're going to do during the two-week Locked in Love Chastity Challenge. So the first one is Monday, February the 3rd. It's going to be at 6 p.m. Pacific time. That's 9 p.m. Eastern, live on Crowdcast.
The link is in the show notes for today for you to join if you would like to come and join us there and ask questions about Chastity or share your experience on how it's going so far in the Chastity Challenge. And then the second one is also a Monday that's going to be February the 10th. Same time, 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern.
So make sure you check that out and it is free all you have to do is just register and then you'll get an email right before the event starts where you can join the second announcement this is so awesome I've been waiting so long to be able to announce this team for you guys. I have my own line of Venus stuff at MaisonDinege.com. So my favorite clothing line is MaisonDinege.com.
It's been around for years and she the woman who does is amazing I love her clothes I've talked about it before on the show she does lifestyle clothes for anybody interested in interracial so lots of queen of spades stuff lots of snow bunny stuff she's got some cuck stuff some you know jack of spades stuff like literally she has everything she's got different lines like couture and you know all this stuff it is so well designed and well made all of the fabrics are just so soft so high end like it's just it's wonderful anyway so I have a Venus line there and I've modeled a few of the items.
So one being this foil body suit slash swimsuit. So I actually wore this at an event last year as a bodysuit. It's like a swimsuit, but I wore it as a bodysuit because it's super low cut. And I've got the new titties and holy shit, like it looked so fucking gorgeous.
And the design, the colors are beautiful so she I told her I wanted something that was kind of like a charm bracelet that's how I see this lifestyle not really one symbol to symbolize cuckolding I'm like there's all of these different kind of dynamics and different people involved and stuff like I see it like a charm bracelet so we've got the heart because i'm all about that and then the queen uh crown because of course and then um the owl and some of you might find this really interesting really new but like we decided that the owl should be the symbol of cucks like and i because i think that's so great.
The owl is always watching, right? And I know that some people are like, well, isn't it like the horns, like the deer horns or whatever that means cuckolding? Like, yeah, I get that. I've heard that. It goes back to the like, you know, eons ago medieval days where they had the cuck had to wear horns while he walked down the street, humiliated by people because his wife cheated on him. Yeah, I get that. But the owl is just so much cuter. And of course, there's the great horned owl. I mean, hello.
So I was like, you just picture the owl like and literally always watching like at night, just like like this is so perfect so we've got the owl we've got the heart we've got the crown and then of course all the spade stuff and everything like that so um it's beautiful all the colors are like so my colors I love them so I'll put the links in the show notes for today it's the bodysuit slashuit, which is fucking beautiful. Super high cut at the bottom and super low cut on the chest. And then there's this awesome little cropped hoodie that is just fucking gorgeous as well. So there you go.
Maison Dinege, my favorite lifestyle brand, is coming through. Make sure you check it out. Oh, and last but not least. Oh, gosh you guys I'm not I can't say much about this because this is an announcement that's going to be coming up soon possibly on the next show but I there's a huge project that I've had in the works there for a while there and it's almost ready to go so I'm excited to be able to bring this to you. That's all I could say is just like, please tune into the next episode. Because like, it's more than likely going to be announced on that one. So anyway, that's all I'm saying.
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Joining me on the show, I have, this is the first time I've had someone who produces chastity cages or a chastity company uh person come on the show and his name is kd he's from king 3d chastity uh company and i'm so excited to have you here today thanks for joining me say hello to all of the listeners hey venus it be here. Okay. I'm like, this is great timing, but I'm very excited to talk about this. This is excellent timing because for a couple of reasons. So this show is going to be aired on day one of the two-week Chastity Challenge.
That's the Locked in Love Chastity Challenge with myself and Key Barrett, author of the book Locked in Love, one of my all-time favorite books. So it is going to be right at the beginning of the challenge. Great timing. I'm so happy to have you on the show to talk about chastity. But also, wasn't there just recently an article that came out in, which magazine was it? Cosmo? It was. Okay. And what did that say? What did that article say? Yeah, it was so exciting to see this. It came out a few weeks ago, but they just posted it to their Instagram yesterday.
And it's an article about how the site Clips for Sale has just named chastity as their fetish of the year for 2025. So they did this based on all of the data and analytics that they capture about what's really blowing up in the world of porn. And it turns out that chastity is on sort of an exponential curve upward. Who would have thought? It's so funny. And I can't wait to get into like your business and everything like that. But I've been talking about chastity for years, for years.
And I had, I get a lot of, there's two like oh yeah oh yeah chastity is so great yeah love it I can't wait to try it blah and then there's the other guys who are like knee-jerk reaction like fuck no I could never like that is so scary there's no fucking way so I can't wait to jump into it with you so your company is is called Kink 3D. And tell me a little bit about your company, how you got started in all of this. Sure. So I'll give a little bit of personal backstory here. I've always been a pretty kinky dude.
And I'm one of those people, when you hang around BDSM circles, there's a kind of common origin story that you hear from a lot of people, which is, oh, I was seven or eight and I was watching cartoons and the princess got captured and put in the dungeon. And something about that just really kind of tingled my brain. And I knew something exciting about that. And I was one of those people. So I've always been into a lot of stuff in that area of sexuality.
And Chastity was something that I came across at some point on the internet and thought, oh, that looks kind of interesting and bought a product or two and tried them. And they really did not work for me. Just immediately, they caused problems. They were uncomfortable. They seemed outright dangerous. And I looked around and couldn't find anything better and thought, man, okay, I guess this kink just isn't for me. I don't know how other people are doing it, but I'm going to put that aside. And there's plenty of other kinks in the sea. So I'll just give up on this one.
And a couple of years after that, I saw on Reddit, someone posted a photo of themselves wearing a locking cock ring. And it was kind of two parts that connect together with this little lock. And it was sort of like chastity light. And I had this idea, okay, that seems kind of cool. Maybe I can do that. Maybe that'll work for me. So there was a company in Poland that hand welds these things. They're like super, yeah, you can tell how much of a kinkster I am. So I ordered one and a few months later it arrived and it just did not work the way that I wanted it to.
And I got so frustrated by this experience that my one shot at something chastity related still didn't work out that I decided, okay, I'm just going to do this myself. So I started learning about 3D modeling. So I learned the software to do what's called CAD modeling, which is computer aided modeling, and also started learning about 3D printing at the same time and put those two things together and started prototyping my own products.
Originally, those kind of lock-in cockerings, and then pretty quickly after that, the community that I was talking to really just wanted to see cages, so started working on those as well, and they really took off. Interracial, black and white, the beautiful and sexy relationship dynamic that we love now in a lifestyle clothing brand you can wear with pride don't sacrifice quality and comfort any longer with Maison Dines you get both in fresh empowering looks for every occasion for everyone from the streets to the sheets and everywhere in between check us out at Maison Maison Dinesh.com.
Maison Dinesh Couture, modern fashion for the modern revolution. So, so you 3D print these cages? That's correct. So they're 3D printed, but if you look at them, if you have any, if a lot of your listeners may have some familiarity with 3D printing, and typically if you look at a 3D print, there'll be what's called layer lines on them, which means that they're basically kind of rough. There are lots of little steps on them. And that's what's stereotypical with 3D printing. Ours do not look like that at all.
So I've shown these products to friends of mine who are mechanical engineers, and their heads just explode when they see them. They do not understand the technology of how we make what we do, because when you look at it and you feel it and you get it in your hands, they don't have any of that kind of layer line stepping to the surface. They just feel like an incredibly smooth product. So that's the result of using really the cutting edge of what's, the jargon is additive manufacturing, but basically it means 3D printing. Okay. I know nothing about that sort of thing.
Are all of the cages made from the same material? With slight variations, yes. They're all made from what's called PA-12 nylon powder. They're slightly different types of that that we use for different colors and different products, but basically they're all the same. Okay. Okay. And so Chastity being so popular, and I'm not really surprised to hear that it's so popular. Cuckolding is crazy popular too, and the two kind of do kind of go hand in hand a little bit in some circles. But I'm not surprised, like with it being so popular, have you noticed like more and more demand for your cages?
Because like I contacted you back in October and you were like, I'm so fucking busy right now with Locktober. So I'm like, all right, cool. So is this big demand for it? We have definitely seen that. We have seen huge growth over the five years since I started the business. And particularly the past, I would say one to two years, it feels like it's really hit a kind of inflection point almost where it's hit a certain level of mainstreamness within the kink world that's really taking off. It's been very exciting to see.
yeah um key barrett was talking about that before where he was saying how like how many chastity cages are sold on amazon like it that they have it in their like their big warehouse like you can get it delivered in four hours because they have so many of them because they sell so many of them. I'm just like, damn, like, holy shit. So I spoke to a couple, some, some of the, um, helpful cocktail members that do support the podcast. I told my private Snapchat group that I was going to be interviewing you and they were so excited.
They're like, oh my God, I have the Cobra cage from that company and I fucking love it. And they've shown me pictures and everything. I'm like, well, it's a really nice cage. So how many different types of cages do you sell? And do you only sell male chastity devices or Or is there such thing as a female chastity device? So I'll answer the second question first and then go to the first one. So the second question, we do only do male or technically penis having because we actually have quite a few trans customers as well, but primarily male chastity devices.
That is the bread and butter of our company. We get a surprising number of requests, including from various friends of mine for female chastity, what you would say chastity belts as well, the full belts that go around the waist. We've had a number of requests for people who would love to see an improvement to those products, a kind of latest and greatest product in the market from us for that. And it's just a much more challenging engineering project. It's there's a lot more material, there's a lot more complex geometry that goes into that. So so far, we haven't done it.
But we would love to in the future, if we can figure out a good way to do it. Right, because it has to go around the waist, like it's got to be like, it's much more substantial than just like something sticking on a wiener. Exactly. There are a lot of more practicality issues there. Can you design something where people can still do their thing and go about their day and sleep comfortably in it, ideally, go to the gym comfortably in it, ideally? And so far, we haven't figured out any.
We haven't had the inspiration on how to do that in a way that would satisfy our pretty rigorous standards for what we want when we launch a new product. But the requests have been frequent. I think of this as it's almost like Title IX for chastity. It's women banging down our doors saying, we want equal opportunity to have our orgasms denied. And I feel really bad that we can't provide it, but we just haven't figured it out yet. I'm just picturing that. That would not be me, just so you know. I can imagine from having listened to your podcast.
And to answer your first question about how many different ones do we make, the answer is when I started, I thought, oh, maybe we'll have three sizes of cages. And then each time that I landed on a lineup that I was happy with, I would keep getting emails or social media messages from customers saying, hey, can you make something halfway between this and this? Because it doesn't fit me quite right. So fast forwarding to today, we actually have 40 cage sizes and then 24 ring sizes, which is the piece that goes behind the whole package.
So when you multiply that together, there are actually 960 distinct size combinations that you can get from us to fit your anatomy. So that's one of the things that we really pride ourselves on is that we have all of those in stock you can order and generally it'll get shipped out in about two to three business days. And that is just way more than basically any other company on the market. So we try really hard to have something that's going to fit almost everyone's anatomy really comfortably and really well.
I'm not surprised to hear that guys need to have different size combinations or whatever, because the biggest complaint that I have heard from guys, other than they're scared or it is difficult to sleep in is that finding the right fit is really difficult. So how does it work? Like when guys go online, they're like, oh, do you have provide them with instructions on how to measure them? What if they buy it and it doesn't fit? Can they send it back? Is that a dumb question? I don't know. It's not like you can send underwear. So I don't know. It's not a dumb question at all.
I'll try to answer all of those points that you raised. So first of all, sizing is indeed one of the biggest challenges with chastity. And it can be really frustrating if you get something and it just doesn't work quite right for you, particularly because as you said, in most cases, it's a product that you're not going to be able to return because of the intimate nature of the products. We do a number of things to do our best to help with that. We have a lot of guidance on our website.
We have an awesome customer service team who are very well trained where you can email us, you can actually send in photos. So we're a very unusual office where a lot of people's professional job in our offices look very carefully analyzing photos of people's dicks that they send in and then trying to give the best advice that we can. And sometimes we'll have 10 or 20 emails in an email chain where we really try to dial in what we think is going to work well for someone. So we do our best on that.
We also partner with stores and events where you can, in fact, have a whole sizing experience to try on the product in person. So we partner with about 10 stores around the world now, and we're working very hard to significantly increase that number. So in major cities like San Francisco, New York, London, Amsterdam, we have stores that you can just go into and try on our range of products. And you can find all those on our website.
I did not know that you could go in a store and try on a chastity cage i did not know that they get carefully cleaned afterwards uh and uh yeah you can i i believe that we are the first brand that has offered that experience and we're working very hard to expand it we also go to a lot of kink related events so i don't know if you've heard of the fulsome street fair which is a huge kink event that happens each year in san francisco and there's a number of other events like that around the country and indeed around the world and we're going to more and more of those and then our team will give uh expert fitting advice and let people try them on while they're there oh that's that's great i think people would really enjoy and benefit from something like that where they can actually be there see the product and be able to talk to people and get advice about fitting because yeah it seems to be a big struggle for the guys thinking about chassis i've heard all sorts of things i just posted something on my blue sky i think it was yesterday or the day before yesterday what's the most difficult thing about chastity it was actually a great thread but there were a lot of comments on there about getting the right fit, stuff pinching or chafing or difficult to sleep in or difficult to go to the gym and stuff like that.
For me, I'm like, I don't give a fuck about any of that stuff, obviously, because like I'm a key holder. So for me, the most important part of the chastity cage is what it looks like. I want the Ferrari of fucking chastity cages and i want it to look beautiful and so how do you balance that between the designs that you create being functional and not pinching and not chafing and all that stuff but also being very like nice to look at where people are like oh damn that one looks really good i want to buy that one.
Yeah, I think you really hit the nail on the head where what we are trying to accomplish as a company is to not compromise on either form or function. And in fact, we see ourselves as being about halfway between sex toys and fashion accessories. And something that's so cool about Chastity is that it operates in both those worlds. It's definitely a sex toy, but it also is something that accentuates and accessorizes the body. And we know how important that is to people and you want it to look good.
And I think, honestly, that's part of the reason that it has taken off is that it encourages people to be exhibitionists online because they want to show off how awesome they look. And especially it's a form of exhibitionism where you can do it without showing your face. So that also makes it a little bit lower stakes for people to do online. But we do work hard. And so I'm actually, I'm still our cage designer.
And I work really hard to do designs that are going to make people, whether they're big or small, whether they have a huge dick or a really small dick, that they're still going to feel great about their body. And they're still going to look at themselves in the cage and like the way they look. And I'm really proud that our cages have been described as like a tuxedo for the cock or like Seville Row, if you're familiar with that British fashion, like the Seville Row of chastity cages. People do say those things. And I feel really happy about that. Yeah, that's got to feel good.
That's the kind of feedback that you definitely would want if you're designing chastity cages. What about the keys? Do you pay attention to the way that the keys look? Because as a key holder, I have found some of the keys are ugly as fuck. I'm like, this looks like something someone dropped in Home Depot. I don't No, I want to wear this on a chain of my neck. So that is a great question. And what I can tell you is that we are working on that. Our keys are not as bad as some of the ones out there.
There is a particularly embarrassing trend for the really cheap Chinese knockoffs of cages to have to come with keys that say BDSM stamped on them. So we avoid that particular pitfall. However, our current keys are not all that nice to look at. They're pretty industrial. But we're actually working on a much more attractive key option. So stay tuned a few months from now, and I may have a better answer for you on that question. Oh, that's good. Yeah, because I was just like, I love key holding and everything like that. But I kind of want the key to match the Ferrari, you know?
We totally agree with you, and that's something we're actively working on. Yay. What are some common myths and misunderstandings about chastity? Other than, you know, just like I said earlier, the fact that I get a lot of guys who say, I could never do that. And I'm like, actually, you could, and you would would enjoy it shockingly. What are some common myths and misunderstandings about chastity that you that you've learned over the years? Yeah, so I think we totally should get into later why people like chastity so much and why they'd want to do it like you just brought up.
But to get into the question of myths and common mistakes that people make, yes, there are quite a few. So I would say the single number one myth that we hear is that wearing a cage is going to make your penis smaller. So this is called shrinkage if you see it online. People constantly ask about it. And sometimes people are scared of this and they're worried about that. And sometimes people are actually really aroused by that. And they say, ooh, is it going to shrink? If you have a small penis humiliation kind of fetish, they're actually kind of excited by that.
And the answer to both the people who want it and the people who are terrified of it is no, that is not going to happen. There is no reason to believe in all the research that we've done and all the medical professionals that we've talked to that wearing a cage is going to have any sort of permanent change to the anatomy of the penis. That's just not going to happen. So that's the first one. The next myth I would raise is a lot of people who really aren't very familiar with chastity and are trying it for the first time think, if I find a cage that fits me right, it's going to be inescapable.
I'm not going to be able to sneak my penis out of it. I'm not going to be able to cheat. And the kind of dirty secret, if you will, of chastity products is that's just not true. Chastity cages are not inescapable. They are not Fort Knox. Unless you're using a piercing to actually physically lock your penis onto the bars of the cage, which a number of our customers do. In fact, some of our customers get a penis piercing specifically to use for chastity because they're so turned on by the idea that they can lock themselves in and they won't be able to get themselves out even if they want to.
But for the average person who's not doing it with a piercing, you're going to be able to get out if you try hard enough. And so I always want people to know that going in because I don't want people to have the wrong expectations and then be disappointed. There's always going to be a mental component to chastity as a kink, as well as the purely physical component. And you have to want to go along with it, whether it's just by yourself or if you're doing it with a key holder, with a partner, you have to be mentally committed to the process. Yeah.
Oh, I've definitely heard stories of people who've lost the key. So it's interesting to hear you say that like you could get out if you really wanted to. Yes and no. You can generally get out in the sense that you can slip your penis out the back of the cage. So in that sense, you can cheat because you can access your penis, you can touch yourself, you can get pleasure. And that's something that of course, people, the dream is to not be able to do that. That's the whole turn on.
But for certain people's anatomies and certain sizes of cages, you might genuinely not be able to slip the whole device off of your package. In other words, you might not be able to get your balls out through the gap between the two pieces of the device. So in that sense, if you lose the key, it is stuck on your body. You're not going to be able to get it off without breaking it or using some kind of tool to snap it or something, it is going to be stuck on your body.
But it might be kind of dangling in a fairly undignified way, because you could get your penis out the back, but then it's kind of dangling off your balls between your legs. So you don't want to end up in that situation. That would be embarrassing.
Okay, yes, let's get into why people want to do chastity in the first place um i definitely feel like there's more of a draw like for men this is i don't know what it is it's definitely more enticing for a lot of guys um keep for but for key holding for women i don't find it has the same kind of drop although for some of my friends and I like I mean I know what that feels like to hold the keys it is pretty fucking phenomenal but the fascinating thing over the years is that um a lot of guys have said that they were hesitant or scared at first about chastity, but then they found, like, they actually didn't want to be unlocked and, like, that they want to stay, like, locked up.
And that, like, if they are unlocked and they're allowed to come, that, like, they're like, oh, that sucked. Like, I just want to be locked up again.
This is so crazy for a lot of guys to hear because they're like, this makes no sense what is the draw what why do guys love it so much yeah we hear that all the time exactly what you said that people will unlock and they'll come and they'll be so excited to come and then as soon as they do they will just immediately regret it so it's a it's a very addictive kink where for sure some people are just never going to be into it it's not going to be their thing but people who are into it get very very into it so there's a few reasons i think why it is such an appealing kink and and particularly why it overlaps and goes so well with cuckolding which is of course of interest to you so the way that i often describe this is that you can kind of view sex toys or divide sex toys into two different types of categories.
There's the more traditional sex toys go into the category of pleasure, right? So dildos or vibrators, they're there to give you pleasure and ultimately, hopefully make you cum. Whereas a second category of sex toys is not about the destination, but it's more about the journey. It's about arousal. It's about building your sexual energy to a higher level. And that's really where chastity cages fall into place. So if you wear a cage for even a day or a few days, you're going to build that horniness to a higher and higher level.
We had a customer who referred to our products as a perpetual horny machine, and I really loved that. And that's really fun. Some people just really love that state of being in a heightened, buzzing state of sexual energy. And that to them is much more important than getting off and coming, particularly for a man. Because as a man, if you come, there is that hormonal chemical response where you really crash. You crash in terms of your sexual energy. You can crash in terms of your mood.
So if you retain that and you build it and you keep getting hornier and hornier over a period of days or weeks, or in some of our customers' cases, months or longer, it gets you to this higher and higher level of sexual energy. So that's the first reason. I think another reason is the hornier you get in a lot of cases, the more it puts you in a mindset where you want to and you feel where you feel ready to pursue fantasies that you have. So there may be fantasies that people have that are a little bit embarrassing or a little bit scary.
And if you are at work and thinking about that fantasy or just in your normal life and thinking about that fantasy, you might not be ready to do it. But if you're super horny and turned on, you're going to say, yeah, you know what, I'm going to give that a go. So in the cuckolding world, an example that comes to mind for me might be something around cream pie cleanup, where I think a lot of guys, a lot of cucks have that fantasy, but then the moment comes and they're squeaked out. And they're like, Oh, man, I don't know if I can do this, even though they've been fantasizing it for years.
So if you're wearing a chassis cage, and you've built up that horniness to this totally insane level, you're going to be more ready to do that. So it's something that can actually help you to explore other fantasies that you maybe have wanted to do for, for a long time. Oh my God. I love that example. And I think, uh, no, I've got, I think, I figured that that might resonate with you. Yeah. Um, and so another reason I think is around those. So those first reasons I gave were really around sex, right? They were around sex and arousal and horniness.
But I think there's also an important reason around the symbolism of wearing a cage, particularly if you're doing it with a partner. So if you're wearing this, it's almost like, I refer to it as this sort of classic BDSM collar that you'll see in Fifty Shades of Grey or that type of thing, but for the male package instead. So you're wearing something that symbolizes submission, that symbolizes service to the partner that you're in a dynamic with. And that can really create this feeling of intimacy and closeness and connection to your partner.
And I think that's really important and a big part of this too, that cages can actually really create this higher emotional level where you feel deeply connected to your partner and in a way that enhances the feeling of service and submission. I love the symbolism of it so much. I hate it when guys send me dick pics, obviously, but send me a chastity pic. I'm not going to hate it as much. And if it's a beautiful chastity pic, then I'm like, damn, that is a work of art right there. You know, it's funny, the very first time I got introduced to Chastity was by accident. It was so bad.
I was talking to somebody and they mentioned something about prostate milking and I was like, I don't know what that is. So I'm going to look it up in Pornhub. And so I did. And I started watching this video and the guy walked into the room and he was naked and all he had on was a chastity cage. I'd never seen one in my life. Okay. I didn't know what it was. I had never heard of one. I looked at it.
I was like, what the fuck is is that and then he laid down and she was like unlocking it and taking it off and I was like what in the actual fuck is that is that like some sort of fashion accessory like I don't know what that is but it was after that that I met my friend jay who he had a long history with chastity, loved it. His girlfriend locked him up for like a year and like he loved it. And so he taught me about, you know, what it was like to wear a cage and be in that kind of relationship. And then I was like, oh, no, I understand this. but I did not know anything about it before that.
How do men especially bring this up to their girlfriend or wife or someone they want to be their key holder and do it in a way in which they will hopefully not be weirded out and kind of understand why they would want to hold the key or why they want even to lock up in the first place? Conveniently, one thing that you could do Thank you. and kind of understand about why they would want to hold the key or why they want even to lock up in the first place.
Conveniently, one thing that you could do is point them to the Cosmo article that we talked about at the beginning and say, hey, it can't be that strange because it's talked about in Cosmo. So that actually might, I mean, in all seriousness, that could be a good way to do it. Because I think that when something is validated by the mainstream media, you know, rightly or wrongly or good or bad, I do actually think that that helps a lot because it feels like, OK, it's not that bizarre. It's out there. It's in Cosmo. It's in Cosmo. It can't be that. It's the new butt plug. It's the new vibrator.
It's the next it's it's the next normal kink. So I think that that can be one thing to do. I think the classic advice that's given around this is to not make it all about you as the man to rather frame it in the context of hey this thing turns me on but also here's what you as the woman are going to get out of it so it's not it's not just something where i'm asking for my partner to be a kink dispenser for me. And to suddenly take on this almost burden or this responsibility of, I need to be holding the key. I need to, what do I do with that? What does that mean?
How do I keep you excited while I'm holding the key? But rather focus on, here's why it turns me on. It's going to put me into this elevated state of sexual energy as I'm going about my day. if i'm at work or I'm on a business trip or I'm just in the other room and I'm wearing the cage and I know that you've got the key, I'm going to be thinking about you because I've got this device on my body that is signifying the connection that I've got with you in a relationship.
So it's going improve mood it's going to put uh improve sexual energy and it doesn't mean that that we have to do it any one particular way now i think some people think if if we get if i get into chastity it means you're never going to get to have sex with me again and that's not true at all you can i think we've talked to a lot of customers who really like this dynamic of I'm going to cage the beast. I'm going to give you the key and you're going to get to control when I take the cage off and when I put it on.
But when you want it off, when you get access to my penis, when you want to get fucked, we absolutely can do that. That's awesome. It's just that you're going to be the one that gets to choose. Yeah, just like a vibrator doesn't is not going to replace your husband's dick. Like, it's just, it's just a fun little way to spruce up the bedroom fun. That's basically it. I love the advice that you gave. Also, there's the book Locked in Love by Key Barrett, where him and his wife, they did two weeks of chastity.
And she contributed to that book as well and wrote about what it was like from her perspective as a key holder. I think that's a great resource for any women who would like to learn about it. Or husbands who would just be like, hey, you might really like this. So go read about it in Cosmo and read about it in the locked in Love book. And I swear we're going to have a lot of fun, baby. And maybe if guys approach it that way, it won't be so shocking and so weird and like, what the fuck? Because yeah, if you're going from straight vanilla land to chastity, that's a bit of a gap. Absolutely.
And it doesn't in any way have to be a 24-7 thing. you can start with, or you don't even have to progress beyond this. Just a very casual playing with it within a scene within a sexual encounter. Maybe you wear the cage for 20 minutes while you're eating your girlfriend's pussy or eating your wife's pussy. You don't have to go beyond that. It can just be something fun and casual that you introduce into sexual dynamics. You don't have to make it an all or nothing, super big, serious thing. Yeah.
And I'm glad you brought that up because there is this kind of thought process online, especially where it kind of, for a lot of guys, signifies like the death of their penis, like forever. Like they're never going to have sex again. And, but that's like with cuckolding too, a lot of guys just assume that it's all about sexual denial and that cucks will never have PIV sex again. I'm like, this is so dumb. I don't know where we get this from, but like, this is not the case. This is very much something fun to just amp up your sex life in the bedroom, cuckolding or chastity or both.
This is just an extra little bit of spice in your sex life. And you're right. You can do it however you want. So this, because this episode is coming out day one of the chastity challenge, I'm assuming that a lot of guys will already have a cage or have chosen one or whatever, or, um, or thinking about it. But for those who don't have a cage or are looking to buy a new cage, what kind of tips or advice would you give them to number one, pick out the right cage that's for them? And then isn't measuring like a very, like, this is a process that you have to do very carefully.
And like, I'm pretty sure you have some tips about that. I definitely do. We have a lot of information on our website. So that's an easy starting point that I recommend. If you happen to be lucky enough to be in a city that has one of the stores that we partner with, go into a store and you can try them on in person. That is ultimately going to be the best way to do this rather than guessing online. We'll do our best to help you through customer service, but it is always hard.
As far as common mistakes that people make though, or giving some tips, I think there's two important ones that are in sort of equal and opposite directions. One is some people think that I should get a cage that has a lot of extra room in it, because when I get hard, then they'll have room to grow and that'll make me more comfortable. We find generally that is not a good idea. If you have extra room in the cage, it's going to be a lot harder to just wear it throughout the day, hiding it under your pants. It's going to be bulky. It's going to be messy when you use the bathroom.
Most people are not happy when they've got extra room. They want to fill the cage all the way when flaccid. The opposite is a lot of people have a fantasy, particularly if they're into more small penis humiliation or emasculation, that they want a cage that's going to be really small. They want to cram themselves into a tiny cage. We also do not think that's a good idea. It's just going to look silly and hang off your body and most of your penis won't end up being in the cage. So we really do recommend get one that is a reasonable and good fit for your flaccid size.
That's the first piece of advice that I would give. Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up. I can't stand seeing chastity pictures. The guy's like, he's locked up in a cage.
I can't stand it when there's all this extra room in there I'm like what are you doing and like that is not to me not attractive to see all that extra space in there I always tell them that like you know you need to go down a size or two like there shouldn't be all of that airiness in there like well okay we'll talk about airy but like cleaning and stuff like that but there shouldn't be that much room in there it just should be snug but then i've seen the other one they're talking about where they try to get the smallest cage possible and it ends up just flattening this mushy flat it looks like you're getting a mammogram for your wiener like it's just like so flat you're like that doesn't look right at all so yes so we have a very goldilocks philosophy on this not too big not too small get one that's really the right yeah yeah it needs to look snug and like comfortable and just the right size like the right fit um okay and so cleaning how do you care for a chastity cage?
It's like if somebody's like, okay, I need to do this. I feel like hygiene and cleaning needs to be really important, but how do you do that if you're locked for any period of time? Super important. So this is one of the things that was top of mind for me when I first started designing the products about five years ago. A lot of the plastic cages at that time were basically plastic tubes that didn't have any kind of ventilation whatsoever. They were impossible to keep clean and very quickly they would start to smell bad. It was just gross. It was not a good situation.
So when I started designing cages, I intentionally had that idea of having a lot of open areas between the bars so that it would be ventilated and so that it would be easy to keep clean. So with the cages that we offer, basically you can wear it without really taking it off and you can just shower. And as long as you're somewhat conscientious about lathering up a lot of soap and getting it in there between the bars and washing it, you can keep it pretty clean. And we have really not heard almost any complaints about people staying locked that way.
I do think if you are running into issues or just as best practice, taking it off every once in a while, let's say once a week at least, to just give a bit of a deeper cleaning to both the cage and to yourself is a good idea. I certainly think that makes sense and is a smart thing to do. But I don't know that you technically have to do it. Yeah, I've seen cages that are kind of just like all closed off except for a few holes at the end. And I'm like, oh God, that's a skin infection waiting to happen. I just feel like there's just, you can't keep that clean and dry in there for sure.
So that's good to note. The more open areas in between the bars and stuff like that, the easier it is to keep clean just by showering and you and washing properly and stuff like that that's really really good one of the big complaints that i hear from guys constantly actually especially when they first trying chastity and they have their first night where they sleep with this thing on they're like oh my god that was the worst sleep I've ever had. I was constantly getting woken up with a boner and it was just uncomfortable because I was in this cage or it was just terrible.
First of all, my reaction is usually just like, oh, suck it up, honey, but you can figure it out. But anyway, what are some tips for these guys who really struggle with sleeping with this cage? That's a great question. Sleeping is probably the hardest time to be wearing a cage. And this is really notorious within the world of chastity because of nighttime erections, because nighttime erections are involuntary. And because you're asleep, you don't have the ability to sort of adjust yourself a little bit when it's happening.
And so in the old days, when I was first getting started with this, a lot of the cages on the market, you'd wear it. And then at four in the morning or five in the morning, you'd wake up with this just horrible sense, kind of burning sensation under the scrotum. And you think, oh, God, just I have to get it off right away. I can't handle this anymore. And that was a significant influence to me in how I wanted to design cages was to prevent that from happening, to really remove any kind of sharp edges and anything that would create that kind of sensation.
As far as advice to give people, first, it's choose a cage that is as comfortable as possible, that is very rounded, is very smooth, doesn't have any pinch points or anything that's going to hurt at night. The second piece of advice is use some kind of lubricant or lotion, particularly under the balls. Basically, that is the area where you get this burning most intensely. And using something like that is going to help to reduce friction and it's going to make it more comfortable.
The other thing, though, that i think is very important to say is some people are just always going to have trouble sleeping at night in a chastity cage they could have the most comfortable most perfectly fitting excellent cage and they just still are going to struggle with it and in those situations we think it's totally fine to take the cage off before you go to bed and put it back again first thing in the morning think of it like we, we always like to say that we think of it like glasses or like contacts. You know, you go to bed, it's the last thing you take off before you go to sleep.
It's the first thing you put on in the morning when you wake up. And it can almost be ritualized in that sort of way. And it's fine. It doesn't make you less devoted to chastity or a less hardcore participant in this kink. It's just allowing you to live your life and do your thing and not be grouchy and miserable all day because you haven't slept well. It's totally fine. So I really encourage people to do that if they're struggling to sleep at night. That's true. That's true. I guess it's not the end of the world if he's got to take it off.
Now, before we wrap this up, because we're almost out of time, are there any last things that you would like to say about chastity? Well, in preparation for talking to you, I was actually looking on, there's a whole subreddit called cuckold psychology. You're probably familiar. And so I went on there and I did some searching for the keyword of chastity to see what people talked about within the world of cuckold psychology. And I found a quote on there that I thought really captured it honestly better and more eloquently than I could.
So if it's okay with you, I thought maybe I would just read it. I thought your audience might like it. Okay. So this was just, it was from a few weeks ago from a user on Reddit called Chatham K. And here's what he says. He says, people that have never been in chastity have no idea how it feels. You assume it's restrictive and uncomfortable. The reality is as long as it's sized properly, chastity is very comfortable and it will Thank you. that have never been in chastity have no idea how it feels. You assume it's restrictive and uncomfortable.
The reality is as long as it's sized properly, chastity is very comfortable and it will cause you to experience arousal like you have never experienced it before. You will leak pre-cum profusely all day long. It feels so good to experience that much arousal that you don't want to orgasm because the 30 second orgasm and that's all gone and it's not as pleasurable as not coming and staying on the ride. This is the obvious reason that men, whether cucks or not, want to stay locked rather than have sex or masturbate.
Add to that the fact that you're a cuck and your wife or girlfriend is doing the thing that turns you on the most. That's why cucks cage because it's the best sex toy that I thought was really fun was after I found that, I was like, oh, who is this person? So I looked at his Reddit profile history, his post history, and I saw that he actually is a customer of ours. So he actually posted earlier with some photos of one of our cages, which I had no idea when I originally found the quote.
So I hope that that helps to encapsulate it and maybe give some encouragement and some inspiration to some of your audience. That is beautiful. And I love that. That's so inspiring for men. It's because it talks about this being kind of an evolution of male sexuality to something that maybe a lot of guys don't even know is possible, which is fascinating to me. This is not so much than just like a piece of equipment or a symbolism of something. This is truly about something so much more than that. So this conversation has been absolutely fascinating.
Katie, I'm so happy that you have come on the show today to talk about this. I'm so happy to have somebody actually explaining all of this stuff about chastity. So thank you so much. Where can everybody learn more about your products, buy your products and that sort of thing? Venus, this has been such a blast. So thank you for having me on. People can find us first at kink3d.com. So just kink, then the number three, then the letter d.com.
Make sure you go to the website and don't just Google because we actually have found there are knockoff companies that try to steal our traffic so chastity has become so popular that there's a whole world of knockoff cages out there so go to the website uh you can also find us on social media kink 3d designs on twitter x we have an entire subreddit that's for our brand so just our kink 3d the the kink 3d subreddit and then we're on blue sky now as well, kink3d.com. Yeah. Yeah. I think we follow you on there already. Any of those places and you can find us. Okay. And that is amazing. Okay.
Thank you so much for all of this today. This has just been mind blowing. I love learning about this. The more I learn about Chastity, the more I learn about cuckolding, the more I learn about all of this is just like blows my mind. So I think people are going to get a lot out of this. The more I learn about chastity, the more I learn about cuckolding, the more I learn about all of this is just like blows my mind. So I, I think people are going to get a lot out of this show today. Thank you so much for joining me. You're very welcome. Thanks so much for having me on. It's been a real pleasure.
That's going to be it for today's episode. Thank you so much for joining me. Make sure you go to venuscuckoldress.com. That's where you can book a private chat with me. And you can also join the Queen's Quarters community and get all the amazing benefits like the private podcast and the helpful cuck tier where you can get key holding for the private Snapchat group, monthly private chats with me, and weekly live hangouts, and invites to special live events. Oh, and you can also submit a question or confession for the show.
Just go to venuscuckoldress.com and click on the link that says the podcast. Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social. Yes, I said Blue Sky Social. Fuck Twitter. My handle there is at cuckoldressv. All right, that's it for today's show. You guys this is so amazing you've you've probably heard me talk about cock porn before and how much i'm not really a big fan. And why? Because it's not really made for women, right? But Afterglow is different. Afterglow is ethical porn made by women for women. Well, it's for everyone, but it is especially for women. And I'll give you an example.
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