How do swingers handle vanilla weddings and family events?
Like any private aspect of life — by not discussing it. The lifestyle is not a topic for weddings, family reunions, work parties, or your kid's soccer game. Most active lifestyle couples have a small repertoire of plausible alternative explanations for trips, events, and absences ("anniversary trip", "couples retreat", "wedding for college friends") that hold up to gentle follow-up without revealing anything. Discretion is a community norm; most lifestyle participants keep the involvement entirely separate from vanilla family and work life.