New single male looking for advice

Best Practices for Consensual Non-Monogamy Consensual Non-monogamy (CNM) is the practice of giving informed consent to simultaneous, multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships. This can include polyamory, open relationships, swinging and relationship anarchy. Some people may desire and/or identify with CNM, but not engage in it. Keeping in mind the variety of CNM relationship structures and activities, consider the following when evaluating your own practices:

1. Do you feel you have an equal say in deciding your relationship agreements with each of your partners?
2. Do you feel you have enough information to understand and to agree to any potential risks involved, and inform each other about any change(s)?
3. Do you fully understand both the desires and the boundaries of the other participants?
4. Are you aware of cultural differences and are you making sure that the language you’re using has the same meaning with everyone involved?
5. Are you able to consent to who will be involved in your activities prior to beginning?
6. Are you able to consent freely, without facing coercion, force or manipulation?
7. Are you aware of your choices about STI prevention and pregnancy planning and/or prevention? Are these choices being respected by all of your partners?
8. Are you free to withdraw prior consent at any time during the activity?
9. Are you basing your consent on your autonomous desires rather than what you are being asked to do or rather than what you’ve seen someone do with other people? 10. Are you basing consent on what you’ve agreed to rather than making assumptions based on what you’ve seen someone do with other people?
10. Are you aware that consent to one thing doesn’t mean you have to consent to anything else and that current consent does not imply future consent?
11. Do you feel that you understand everyone’s limitations or barriers to their ability to consent to the planned activities, such as age, diminished mental capacity, or use of drugs or alcohol?
12. Do you know that you can request changes to help you feel safe? For example, you could have somebody nearby during the activities, or you could also have other people present to verify that you are heard and consenting.

An excerpt from NCSF Consent program.

OCBJ, great reply. Couldn't agree more.

Now that's damn funny....

Now thats FUNNY.. one more CL holdover fake!

Take care we enjoy the way you think!

Now pass the popcorn!

@Ronkathy. This post is hilarious. Found it interesting and created my response (thanks for agreeing). What makes it hilarious…the author doesn’t exist. LOL

Kudos OCBJ.. KUDOS !

Exactly!!!!!!

Here is some simple advice from a couple’s view that annoys this couple. To be clear, we have hosted several single males, and have enjoyed their company in simple public settings without sex too. Our criteria is pretty basic starting with respect. Respect our relationship, respect our boundaries, the rules, and most importantly, us as individuals, as a couple, and our home should we host. In addition, have some character and posses some literary values. You have no idea how many one line messages we receive by the World’s bottom who conjugate a sentence. Then there are those who are relentless and keep messaging trying to sell themselves like a used car. If the answer in “No” move on. If you wouldn’t call your mother about you cock size and how great a fuck you think you are, don’t push your nonsense on those who have been around awhile and seek “ adult” interaction. These issues cause and cast a prejudice on the single male category because they all seem like desperate potential serial killers. Who wants to be around that? All the advise about hygiene, how to dress, etc. you should have learned that years ago and before the lifestyle emerged. How to act, the same way. Recently out of town and changed our location. Without exaggeration, deleted 15 ridiculous messages received by single males. If, by now, you were curious and read our profile narrative, you can say to yourself “ I know why it’s so long.” Years ago, it was a simple paragraph. Understanding the challenges single males face, it’s best you go to meet and greets with no expectations and get to know people. Go to as many as you can in that area because Lifestyler’s seem to follow a geography. The more exposure you get, the more you get to know people and the more comfortable they are, the higher the odds that they’ll invite you into their circle. If that happens, congratulations. But, know that over a period of time, everyone moves on and that relationship will fade. Be a man about that and let them contact you first, u less you have agreed to communication rules. It prevents the stalking issue. Good luck

I'm not sure about one of the responses "Don't wait to talk to her while the husband is away....." I find that many guys are a little apprehensive to approach us both while at The Korral. I purposely leave her on her own for little bits to make it easier for single men to approach and start a conversation. I really have no problems with that.

Maybe not for all but worked for us a few times.

We agree with Fran
Become an Elite Single Male

1. Hygene (not sure why this has to be mentioned but it DOES

If you plan on meeting for a date then Shower, brush teeth, use cologne (just a little don’t bathe in it), use deoderant

2.Always dress nice (does not have to be a suit and tie) just take pride in your appearence.

1. Talk to Both the woman and husband.

Carry on a conversation

1. If at a club Do Not approach the wife when the husband heads to the bathroom, not sure why guys do this, it’s super rude and shows you are scared to talk to the husband.

1. Don’t be pushy, just carry on a conversation, be yourself and have fun.

1. Ask what it is they are loonking for and how You can help them find / fulfill that role

remember you are there to fulfill their wants and needs Not yours, the funny thing is IF you fulfill their needs / wants Yours will get fulfilled in the process*

1. Always be polite and funny. The ultimate goal is not to put a notch in your bedpost, it is to have multiple dates / play sessions with this couple. If you are always Fresh, Polite, dress nice, smell good, and attentive to their needs / wants they Will tell other couples they know about You and your skills.

1. Be discreet, don’t meet with anyone, have fun then run your mouth with personal details about said people. That is an easy way to be blocked and no one will want to have fun with you.

1. Pictures: it is ok to have D pics but keep them in your personal / private foulder and you can unlock them AFTER you have had atleast 2 conversations with someone

1. When sending a message

Give a breif introduction:
Hey Guy I hope you are having an amazing day / week. I saw your profile and found it interisting (mention what you found interisting). I am Mike (don’t have to out your name if you don’t want but it does help) I have been in the LS for (how long), I am handsome, funny, discreet, can carry on a conversation, DDF, Hygenic (if you choose me I will never smell bad) [that can be used as a joke and a good heads up], I like to play the guitar, stomp flowers, go to the beach and listen to music (shows you can do other things than just sex). I am respectful can take direction and follow rules.
I really look forward to hearing back from you.
Thanks for taking the time to read my message

1. If you get a No Thanks or No response just move on, DO NOT badger as to why they arnt interested, you can give a few months and try to inteodyce yourself again but DON’T be THIRSTY or and ass

If you follow the above you should have decent luck, you can look at members profiles that have a lot of certifications and see what makes their profiles stand out
OR
You can ask for others to critique your profile and help you make it more attractive.

FRAN that is exactly what we look for and select with who we bring to our bed.. for 30 plus years now.. we have even taken our long time FWB on vacation to many pl;aces with us .. and they upgraded us to first class tickets!

It is great when the right people are found!

I love tongue wrestling with a big mushroom cock head..I prefer cum..

First step would be to create a second profile for you and your girl, it is confusing having a SM profile that talks mostly about what you two are looking for as a couple.

Secondly, post a few more public pics including a full length body view.

Finally, don’t carpet bomb every couple in your area with spam one-liner emails hoping to get lucky. Only reach out to couples actively seeking guys who are your age and type, send a personalized note and never open dick pics as an introduction.

There is a forum for better profiles and a whole bunch of topics in the swinging single forum that all new single makes should read.

Be patient, get out to local events and good luck!

~Scamp

I happen to think that I'm worth about 12 cents all on my own. Maybe I have an over inflated ego.

Also.. if you say you have another female to join in.. thats the same thing many guys claim only to say "oh sorry she is busy"... when the times come.. so sorry it sounds like BS .. or better yet get a couples profile with both photos and wording!..

YES we can play alone and have many times... and say so if asked!

Welcome... plenty of advice on SLS look around..

Your profile needs some help and also the ONE photo only... we would pass you by..

We look for those we have something else in common with besides sex.. single guys are a dime a dozen and one must stand out , be classy, smile, show something he can do besides sex on his mind always.. can you dance , can you smile, are you fun, what do you do to have fun.. etc etc

Met a new one last week at our gym.. he was classy, talked about life and being healthy, had a great smile, and well was just a gentleman.. the "vibe" was natural... our single guys do not have to brag about their equipment they show in their actions in and out of bed.. It works naturally and he was in our bed the next day and joined SLS too !

Hey everyone!

I just joined sls a couple of weeks ago. I’m a single male, which makes it tough to stand out. I’m fairly attractive, but could be in better shape. I’ve been told I have a nice dick, so that helps, but not if I never get to use it ??. I joined this site because the best sexual experiences of my life have been group sex or threesomes. The single best was with an older married couple. I’m not on here looking for super models. In fact, I’m more turned on by regular folks like me.

My question is, how do I get the attention of a couple? I’m a nice guy, I’m respectable and I like to think I’m fun to be around, just need help starting the convo so I can show that! I have a good sex life, so I’m not desperate, but man do I miss the group experiences. There is nothing hotter than a guy sharing his wife, really hoping I’ll have some luck here!