A cucumber, a banana, and a dick are conversing over how hard their lives are.
The cucumber says "My life is hardest. When I get all big, and solid, people skin me, slice me up, and eat me. "
The banana commented next saying "You think thats bad? When I get all big, and solid, people peel my skin off, and eat me whole. "
Without hesitation the prick replied, "WOH, WOH, WOH, I have it the worst. When i get all big and stiff, people put a rubber bag over my head, stick me in a dark hole, and beat my head against the walls until i throw up and pass out.