Send us Fan MailTo slow, To Fast pick a speed and fuck it. LOL We talk about all kinds of topics this week but our 1st question is a couple wanting to know is it ok to basically tell a partner how they like to fuck. YES Everyone likes it different, some like it slow some like it fast and communication and reading body language is the key. This is important stuff to make sure your hook ups are the best. The Second question is all about professional Sex workers. The question is it ok to use professional sex workers to try the lifestyle. The conversation turns more to being respectful of Sex workers and the different types of Professional sex workers. This topic will be revisited to go more in-depth. Give us your opinions on our conversation. Don t forget to check out our sites. Want to hear all our shows visit www.buzzsprout.com/181336 . +++GET YOUR FULL SWAP RADIO APP FOR BOTH APPLE OR ANDRIOD FS Radiohttp://www.asnlifestylemagazine.com http://www.fullswapshop.com http://www.karrieart.comyoutube.com/redirect?event=video_description redir_token=QUFFLUhqbkR5eFpIbXRLXzFqVlBLRi1ER2V1TzdvVEttUXxBQ3Jtc0trSFpoUEtsMFJEbmhRak5wUnZqOFY1c21HeEJ3b0dTY3NHaDlkMFNkYW1fajhBeXVrMm05VkFPc0xkbjJOMU1sekZRcEF1ekdFNFV0TW9WRGZuVFBpeHA1VGtCaEdsb1NnYmJxbEQwSXlTaGhhSkNjdw q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fullswapradio.com v=dCBdiqxobmw'>http://www.fullswapradio.comyoutube.com/redirect?event=video_description redir_token=QUFFLUhqbGRLQUFYMUlndUMxMUlPczgzbHV0cnQ1cVd0Z3xBQ3Jtc0tuSGNrSEQ0dXJLRmhMa2Nld1hISFduOTV1dHFSZ1Y2V0ExX0gtMGFJMXJKYi1kTms0X3RNVFlhVTgxR2t3cktPT25vVDhmSmFaTERocWhPVGlZZFNlUk5qd2hkS0R4UXpITE5IbGpYazJ2dm5YUXVtZw q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.krazykasbh.com v=dCBdiqxobmw'>http://www.krazykasbh.comYouTube : http://www.youtube.com/KasbhSend us emails at krazy.kasbh@gmail.comTwitter: @TruthKrazyInstagram (http://www.patreon.com/KrazyKasbh)
Transcript
Hey kids, the program you're about to listen to contains some adult situations, adult language, themes, and other adult topics. If you're easily offended, this show's not for you. Hey you crazy motherfuckers, welcome back to another edition of Crazy Truth.
I'm Cole, I'm the host with The Most, and I'm here'm here with the lovely lovely and slightly peep irritated miss amanda hey and we're here to tantalate titillate and whatnot and do weird things to you that's what we do this festive season with peeps peep i hate peeps peeps they're so disgusting oh show. Anyway, so for those of you following along at home, if you're not, why the hell aren't you? Really? Come on. What the hell? We do this every week. What did I tell you to do?
Get out your handy dandy notebooks. Anyways, this is Susan. This isn't fucking Blue's Clues. It is too. I want it to be in my own little mind. No, it's not. Blue's Clues is never this dirty. Blue's. Blue's Clues. Blue's Clues. Clues. Ah!
Ha ha wanted to be in my own little mind yeah no it's not blues cruise is never this dirty blues blues cruise blues clues cruise anyways this is season uh five episode 199 we are one week away from the big 200 okay well there'll be parties and balloons and all kinds of it look at this at this We're going to our birthday weekend The 200th episode will be on Because our actual birthday is the Ides of March So we'll actually be over our birthday Fucking this is like exciting And psychotic And fucking weird cool shit's gonna happen Calls for drinks And absolutely can't see my hair in that video Is it gonna be a drunken show?
No You're the one that moved I don't know. shit's going to happen. Calls for drinks. And I absolutely can't see my hair in that video. Is it going to be a drunken show? No. You're the one that moved the fucking camera. I'm just funning around. No. Yes, I am too. You are such a Leo. Such... Chew with your mouth closed. There's that cookie monster where you peep. Or Gucci. Okay. Oh my god. Why? You're supposed to be the one talking. There's a whole whiteboard there of shit to say.
one of them pick a word and build upon it search fucking dumb ass all right real quick before we get going too far along the line let's go and give a shout out to our paid sponsors shall we why we shall thanks cool great awesome i'll just have a conversation myself peeps talked back to me. They were like, oh, Grinchy. Arr. Anyways. Sister name me. You're biting my ears off. I can't hear. Ah. Anyways. Do chicks have ears? Oh, are those chicks? Yeah, of course. Everything has ears.
Were they chicks? Everything has ears. Even chicks have ears. Everything has ears. There's not an animal out there that's earless. Fish don't have ears. They do too. They have sensory ears. They have a form of an ear. They have something that they can sense stuff. Bullshit, because here's the deal. Okay, they have the force then. Because when a bug hits the water, they feel the Jedi. So either ears or Jedi powers. Everything has either ears or Jedi powers. One of the two.
That's what we're going to go with. Yeah. So, Hillary, you were probably going to roll your eyes. You must have rolled your eyes. Did you roll your eyes? Yeah, you rolled your eyes. I roll my eyes a lot at you. Paid sponsors. Paid sponsors. Who are they? And go. ASN Lifestyle Magazine. Good job, little buttercup. Art by Carrie Daniels. Check it out. Someday we'll actually remember to bring the piece of artwork in here with us, but we're fucking idiots. www.carrieart.com.
That would be Carrie Daniels Daniels, art by Karrie. She's very, very good. Check it out. Also, Fat Jax. Fat Jax. Award-winning barbecue. Check them out. That's fat spelled P-H-A-T. Jax, J-A-C-K-S.com, Fat Jax in Lincoln. I'm pretty sure rumor has it, you know, on the episode of MASH where they get, like, ribs from Toledo, this is the same type of thing. They will ship, they cater, and they ship stuff all over the country, and so get yours.
They're doing our food for the birthday bash, and we are fucking excited as fuck because Because we have a barbecue. And they're award wedding barbecue. So basically I'm going to take and put my face in a big pile of juicy slobbery meat. Just go. All over it. So it ought to be great. I'm flipping my hair. Fucking suck a dick. Anyways. And finally. You've listened to the show. It's hard to believe. You've read the mag. Come on fuckers.
Go buy buy some swag fullswapshop.com check it out today get our shit you really need to help out more of those we're gonna have sponsors that want to hear your magic voice saying their shit and and we can rewind this one back where you went and i'm sure that will be a huge selling feature for all future things of this. Do you want to talk about the nighting program that we're working on? You want to fucking talk about anything? You just want to sit here and look at me. Hi, everybody.
Welcome to my co-host, Helen Keller, everybody. Helen Keller. Let's give her a big hand. You're a dick. You are a dick. Oh, I'm not a dick. You're the yappy one. You talk. No, you talk about the knights and I got my cadets. Woo woo. You talk about your knights. So I get a bunch of hunky men. And that's all and that's the best selling job we got. And I get a bunch of hunky men. They have swords. Stick me.
Oh my god my god that's not what i was thinking there'll be a joust competition coming up later to determine who becomes knights apparently if you knock her off her horse you get to keep the horse i don't know i'm just saying just saying so yeah so uh when did the interviews start uh well whenever you want to i mean, it's your schedule. You need to know when your facilities are available. Oh, good God. And what's our first quest? The court is open. What was our first quest? Splunking.
We're going into caves. Oh, my goodness. Anyways. Wow, that would just... See, it's going faster there than it is here. I hate when that happens. Anyways, yeah, so see, that's why they're not the Jedis, because then they'd be lightsabers, and they'd cut her vag all up, and that'd be horrible. Anyways, so, yeah, so we've extended that. We're going to, like, another two weeks of applications to be a night. Well, we were going to cut it off.
They're they're not never mind go ahead cut offs for applications were going to be the ninth so we decided with all the birthday shit going on this week that's the last thing we really wanted to worry about that and we've had it to get past the birthday we've had a shit ton of applications and which here's you if you're listening you can send an application you just have to send us an email telling why you want to be a casbah knight right now right now we've got 62 applications Thank you.
applications and which here's you if you're listening you can send an application you just have to send us an email telling why you want to be a casmanite right now right now we've got 62 applications you're gonna be one tired little badge that's all i'm gonna tell you uh no seriously so we have we've had uh 62 applications so far and uh but it's exciting it's a lot of fun we're very excited to have it. It's neat that everybody wants to, like, represent you. Yes. Represent cats.
Slay you or whatever it is they want to do. I don't know. I don't know. Have we figured out what we're giving them yet? Banana hammocks, wasn't it? No, I'm working on that. It's going to say knight on the side of it. I'm working on it. I was, like, thinking a bow type. I'm like, no, because not everybody will wear that. Amy, the queen needs more than her knights. She needs her court. Ladies in waiting.
It seems as if there's a whole other line of people getting ready to apply is what it sounds to me like. Oh, is that what it is? Rock on. Her attendees. I'm sticking with my cadets. I'm all good. Anyway, so yeah, so that's pretty exciting. So I'm trying to figure out what I can do for a guy. Not do two of them. I wonder if they can help you come up with... To represent Kazma, dickhead. Head would be involved, I'm sure. Nothing says I... Nothing says...
Well, I'm'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure there's some that would enjoy that some only some so make sure you put that up not all are interested i there's not a single one that has put their shit in here that would not be interested. No, I know there's one for a fact. Oh, no, because, no, he specifically asked who or what had to happen. I just, that we're not taking any bribes. No. We are not taking any bribes. No. I mean, if you want to send us, like, thousands of dollars, we'll consider.
That's not how it works. No, we would not accept that. We would not, well, we'd accept it, but we still wouldn't mean you won. If you want to pay us for any hopes, whatever. That's, you know, hope in one hand and shit in the other. Anyways, no. So apply. Send us an email. Tell us why you want to be knighted by Miss Amanda. Nah. You're going to have penises. It's called pegging. It's going to be.
Okay, that will not help us get more people to fucking want to do this If you start talking, you've got to peg everybody that applies for knighting No, I wouldn't peg anybody It's usually weird, usually the one knighting is the one slapping the sword on the shoulders It's going to be weird when they're just having to slap their dicks on your shoulder You're the right height No shit Kneel, no, no, that's too low, stand back up Just saying No shit I say kilt I'll see you next time. No shit. Kneel.
No, that's too low. Stand back up. Just saying. No shit. I say kilt. No, those are expensive. Yeah, nobody minds paper mache kilts. Here's your coffee filter. It's like our funds aren't that high. We could have dick kilt. That's what you could do. You could take a little piece of material and make dick kilt. It has to be something they put out in public. A dick kilt. They'd cover their dick. Oh, my God. There's got to be a market for that.
I will bet you that we could have a market for dick kilts. No. If you would be interested in ordering a dick kilt, please let us know. We'll get one of those for you right away. Dick kilt. Alright. You're fucking high. No. Oh, you have no idea how much I wish that was true, but no. It is absolutely not true. I'm high because we have that whole radio station thing. I know some people don't know it's ours, but it is. And it now has an app. An Apple app. Yeah, that took forever.
How the fucking Louie. So we'll talk more about it. Do you know how many times he came in screaming? Fuck Apple, you cock-sucking motherfucker. Steve Jobs is a dick. I'm glad he's... No, it wasn't like that. Actually, it was. Actually, yeah. A little bit. 160 bucks for a dick kilt? Good lord.
Okay so let's let's uh actually get on to the the helping folks shall we we actually do that well no we pretend to do that that's what we said that's the whole that's that's what i tell people when i'm like hey you want to be a sponsor that's what i tell them then so hopefully they don't listen to the show. It's magical. No shit. Nothing up this sleeve. Okay, so we're doing the once again, we've got the we've got the whiteboard of choices. That's your fucking...
It went from a teleprompter to a... Well, everybody knows it's not a teleprompter because it's not clicking. Well, most teleprompters don't click. Well, I guess that would be old back in the 1800s. The little chick have fucking, yeah, that's it. Oh, now it's all exposed. This is only an illusion. Pick a number. Any number. Oh, by the way, for For those that don't know What are you fucking doing?
Looking around the camera Dickhead I thought you were like No For those of you that don't I need to take a picture Sitting right here And seeing what I can see I see the line And nothing below it Besides socks Look Do you want to go there? Here's the thing. Dick. Here's the thing. If you don't follow us on our YouTube channel and actually watch our videos, you're missing a shit ton. So you really need to follow our YouTube videos. And for those of you who don't know... They don't hate them.
Who fucking cares anymore? They don't register, so suck a dick, assholes. Anyway, for those of you that don't know, we do this in front of our live Facebook page. Kaz't tell the others. And so we'll be taking questions and otherwise from them. Six is not an option, April, but very very good. Okay, we're taking orders for don't forget, we're taking orders for dick kilts. Calling the operators we stand and buy. Okay, pick a number. Do you want me to read the categories out loud?
No, I can see them. Well, do you want to read them and then see what they want to pick? I don't care. Well, what is intriguing me is cruise control. All right. There we go. And away we go. Hold on, please. What the hell does cruise control have to do with shit? Ozy-dotes and bloats and little lambs eat ivy. Doodly. Notice what I'm not doing. This is on an iPad. Ha! I don't want you. He looks really mad enough. Oh, fuck. I could have killed him. Okay.
So, this question comes to us from James and Stacy. Oh, I have a hair in my eye. you don't james and stacy okay james and stacy they are on the west coast they're in walla walla washington they're i don't know if they're in walla walla they're just in washington is that actually a city i don't know i just made it with the walla walla they're in was show me there in Washington. Oh, Jesus. Okay, Washington State. So, they are, James and Stacey, we are loving the lifestyle. It is so much fun.
We have such a great time. The hookups, the parties, the people, it's overwhelming, but it's so much fun, and every day is a new learning adventure. We have a question for you that hopefully you can help.
We know that you've been in the lifestyle a long time compared to us because we're old and uh one of the things that stacy has run into multiple times is that obviously we know everybody likes to fuck their own way very good yes they do but why is there this continuous thing that she feels like everybody can't find a speed to go every time she's either getting railed 110 miles an hour or we're moving like a slug. Like a slug. No, a slug. Not a sludge. A slug.
Can't we find a happy medium and just put things on cruise control and just fuck why are we all over the board? If you could help us out or tell us how can we say she likes it a certain way without being offensive, we would greatly appreciate it. P.S. She doesn't like going super fast. She's afraid that her pussy will catch on fire. I wonder why I picked that one. Okay, so I did reach out to them. Before we get into this real quick, I did reach out to them.
They have been in Lifestyle about a year and a half. Okay. They were soft swap going into full swap. So they're kind of new to this whole full swap thing. Okay. So they've only been about half the time they've been in full swap. So there's been limited amounts of full swap engagements. And she had never been dated.
They were with each other for the first time when they lost their virginity and they've only been with each other and so she's she's liking they're liking sex with other people but somebody then you know but she answered her own question what do you mean she has she said that there's everybody has their own way of fucking or right but the bigger question is they're trying to figure out how she... What they're really trying to figure out is how can they say something without being offensive.
Okay, so right off the bat... Has she not watched porn? Harder! No shit. April put in... This is a really good point right there. Someone isn't reading body language. Order what you want. That's, yeah. If you're fucking somebody, you should be paying attention. Although. Well, no. If you set to meet up with somebody, you don't, and you haven't seen them in like an orgy setting.
You don't know if they're going to be fast or slow or if they're just going to be like Right, but if you don't like As I just hit my own nose Is it okay to say Slow down You're going to catch my vag on fire There's a song about slowing down, you move too fast Right, well, but okay But here's the thing You're the other way You've bitched about this before You like to be fucked, fucked You like to be fucked And you've been fucked lots of guys We'll be fucked fucked. You like to be fucked.
And you've been fucked lots of guys. Bam, stop. Bam, stop. I do that when I fuck you because I'm out of shape and I'm catching my breath. Well, okay, but a lot of it has to do with where your G-spot is.
If mine is completely internal, get pounded harder makes me orgasm and it's when they slow down they just go oh you just fucking lost it damn it i have one do that where did it go where did it go no don't stop don't stop but would you rather you've also gone into different speeds also well that's because i'm catching i'm out of shape and so i'm catching my breath that's god's honest truth one of the things i've thought why i've got to get back in shape is seriously because there's nothing sexier than somebody panting on top of you because not because they're fucking so hard but because they're winded okay i'm having a heart attack well that's saying that's just it yeah hey oh that's so hot will you keep clutching your chest oh Nah, I was talking about the Viagra episode.
Well, yeah, no shit. But would you rather, whether it be fast or slow, it doesn't matter. Would you rather have a guy fuck you at, like, a consistent speed versus speed up, slow down slow down Well that can go both ways Because yes there are times Fast and slow There are times That You need a break to slow down So everybody can catch their breath But if you see that somebody's In the midst of a Orgasm Don't stop what you're doing so it screws it all up.
If you're wondering how to know whether or not someone's in the middle of an orgasm, if they look like they're having a stroke, that would be their O phase. Okay, so I'm going to get back to that in a second. One thing, we've got a bunch of people going, again, Jeffrey, also read your audience. Gary, communication is key. Amy, both. In and out both ways, loud and loud. So, yes, there is a degree of paying attention to what is going on. But I'm going to put this caveat in there.
Throwing it in it right in the middle if you amy don't stop and ask what i'm saying either okay i was just going to get to that amy if if you if you have a unique thing that you do when you come ladies if you have a unique thing that you do when you come i'm going to give you three examples that i can give you wow i wonder who he's going to use the first the first example was the first time i fucked a girl who giggles when she's coming yeah and it starts off as your ability he he he he and by the time she's coming she's in like full floor like laughter and then i stop because i'm like what in the hell She's like, don't stop.
I was coming. And then she goes, I laugh when I come. Okay, that, laughter. And then I stop because I'm like, what in the hell? And she's like, don't stop. I was cumming. And then she goes, I laugh when I cum. Okay, that's a good thing for me to know ahead of time. Okay? Another example, we'll just say there happens to be a friend, a friend that we have benefits. She is multi-bilingual.
And so when you make her cum, she fucking starts talking in spanish and that's hot as fuck just saying but yes all of a sudden like but she warned me ahead of time yeah she said by the way this can this can happen not guaranteed it's like squirting not guaranteed but it can happen so i was looking out for it, and when I heard it, I knew I was doing the right thing. Keep going. Okay? And then there's you. And I've seen this happen to you multiple times early in our swinging career.
You hold your breath when you come, or you used to. And there was a time that you were getting fucked silly, and you were holding your breath.
And then your face turns out because you're not breathing, and the dude was afraid you were stroking out and stop you're like oh and you since learned because now you tell people hey i i hold my breath when i come not all the time do i tell people but well they figured out to that or things go fuck it but so the thing is is sometimes she just needs a finger in the butthole nice so the thing is is that if you have something unique that you do if you we're guys are big dumb animals okay we're like in the moment go go we're looking for certain things like you're going ah a wave something and if you throw us off we're going to stop because the fear factor is we're doing something wrong okay so like if all of a sudden if your thing is when you come you you scream like you start just like Tourette's speaking in tongues yeah yeah like the one guy yeah you start going into Tourette's you're just like fuck shit son of a scott if you let us know that ahead of time we'll know not stop otherwise I'm gonna be going oh my god my dick went in the hole I've done something wrong I'm killing her sweet mother fuck I'm going to stop if I don't know most guys all we do is make stupid faces and grunt like a really big dumb rhino we don't really do anything that original i mean i don't i don't think we're really gonna scare you we're doing so a little communication goes goes a long ways oh there's some guys that go did he even get off when they started talking tongues uh you know you're doing it right uh so The Swinger Business Cards includes rules, likes, needs, and want.
Yes. Wait, women make noise when they come. All the women I've been with make a yawning-like face. That's a special skill set, Matt, that you've got there that you deal with that. The tired orgasm.
Guys are going to do what their play partner likes but my hand is so quiet she beat you when she wants you to know about it oh shit oh shit you know what's funny i've become like my play partner because i've gotten older i fucking uh i uh cramp up just like my hand does i'm like oh man down i'm sorry this is how we don't end up helping people because we start going on there you continue and i'll quit talking now guys are gonna do what you you were saying something something intelligent.
They're going to do what their partners enjoy. So if, like, I had one guy that was married go, well, this is the way my wife likes it. Okay, great. You know how to get your wife off, but that doesn't do anything for me. You had to teach me that with eating a girl out.
I remember the early time swinging, And and i was like she was just squirmy as fuck when i was eating around i had to hook her i hooked her legs and held her down so she couldn't because she was squirming all over and you're like how was she squirming i describe you're like she was trying to position her clit since you weren't positioned right she was trying to move her clit accordingly i'm like oh so i was i like i did i was exhausted i like hooked her legs i was like i'm like no you're not gonna move because i've had sex with girls that try to get away when they come which that's a that's weird i'm just gonna put it out i'm not yucking your yum but i'll track your ass down I figured that out, Jake.
You've, yeah, you've. I'm just kidding. I'm going to put it out. I'm not yucking your yam, but I'll track your ass down. I'll figure that out, shit. You, yeah, you. I figure that shit out fast. Get a hook on them and don't let them go. No, fuck no. That's funny shit. I mean, they like it. Well, they like it. It's just, I don't, I don't, you don't do that. Some girls, like, when, for some reason, when a girl is starting to, some girls, when they start to come.
Well, have you ever thought that, okay, because I like it firm on my clit. Yes, you do. That maybe they don't, they like it light, so they're trying to back up a little bit because you're hitting it too hard. Well, they're doing all the other signs that say I'm not hitting it too hard. Everything else they're saying is I'm hitting it just right.
Am I chasing it or do you not want me to chase it chase it no because one girl that we had a longer term adventure with admitted that she's squirmed but she got off better when i would hook her and not let her get away yeah so that's why when i would fuck her the poly one yes when we'd fuck that's why i'd put my plant my plant my arms and behind her shoulders so she went to go she couldn't get past my my shoulders and she would squirm and she said it just intensified the whole thing i think it was like that asphyxiation asphyxiation where you choke yourself and then come i don't know i just just i just gotta say it just is what it is one of those things I try to get away when I'm going to cum.
I don't know why. It's just her body's automatic response. See, and this is where I would be happy. This is where I just jump in. I'll become all like superhero. But if I cramp at the wrong time, what's going to happen? We're going to tumble into a big mess of just fucking, it'll just get all screwed up. Because it'll screw my rhythm up and everything. Well, and then I'm like going, when my wife starts to laugh and her left leg shakes, she's coming. She may kick you.
Am I just like the only person that doesn't move whatsoever? You make fun of any guy I hook up with. You can't even see a dent in the bed. Because I'm not going to fight you. I'm not going to. Look. No. I don't know. You just rough her. No. I don't know what it may be. Here's the thing. I don't actually understand how it works.
I really fucking't Although even when you and I fuck Shit's more messed up You kick the sheets and stuff You kick stuff around I do not Look there are people that might be listening That can equate that are just like me With this whole thing And you get me and another feisty fuck together And we're gonna just We have hotel rooms that have looked like Back in the 70's There was like the Samsonite luggage commercial I'll see you next time.
another feisty fuck together and we're gonna just we have hotel rooms that have looked like back in the 70s there was like the samsonite luggage commercial where they put the piece of luggage in with them with the grill and he's throwing it all over the fucking place there are people that i have hooked up with that that is what sex is like during sex because seriously a pillow gets in the way you fucking toss the pillow and you just keep going everybody's sweating and there's fucking fucking the blankets you're kicking and fucking yeah and you're hooking the legs and oh god yeah i don't well i don't fight i don't i if anything maybe i'm more harmonic and want to you might be more in you because okay here's what's funny i have seen you with girls that when when we fuck it's fucking crazy monkey sex but when she when you're with them it is way calmer so maybe it is like you're like you're it's almost like maybe i'm kind of spasmatic or something adhd crackhead whatever well not if they're not if they're moving, though.
Well, but the thing is, is so maybe. Maybe I'm not doing it right. No, because you've been blasted in the face. I've seen you were doing it right. But maybe that's what it is. You have like a more of a calming, soothing thing, and you get, you know, me that's just like squirrel and fucking, oh, JoJo the Circus Monkey and shit starts.
I guarantee, I have walked into walked into, I'm telling you, if you ever have the chance, if you know that Amanda and I are both going to hook up with somebody, you really want to do this. We should actually, we're going to take a picture sometime with this. We're going to take a picture. We'll let you go. Power struggle, fuck yeah. We're going to let you go in and fuck first. And when you get done fucking, we'll take a picture of the room.
We'll take a picture before and after you get done fucking. Then I'll go in and use the room. And then we'll take a picture. Because people will be blown away by the fact of like... Because seriously, I... Yours has pillows thrown everywhere. Blankets, ski jawed everywhere. The mattress. Don't you remember the one? The mattress was fucking a little twisted on the bed. And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on in here? Because I'm like, did you even fuck?
Because literally, I was like, oh my God. Because when me and this girl went in, she goes. No, me and this guy hooked up. And that was planned from the get-go at a party. Yes. We hooked up. He said he even came like three times. Yeah. It was an amazing hookup. Yeah, you both had a great time. And then we were done, and then you and this other gal came up, and you're like, did you even fuck?
Yeah, because when we walked over, I was like, we almost didn't fuck because we weren't for sure that you guys had hooked up. We were afraid that that hookup was something that happened and that didn't end up happening. We're like, well, we don't want to. We seriously didn't know. Seriously didn't know. And then I was like, then I saw a couple of fucking, like a few wrinkles in the bed. And it's like, well, I'm pretty sure that might have been. I think I saw, like, your sock on the floor.
I'm like, well, there we go. And then when you came up, seriously, there was a lampshade was moved. So I was, because one of the pillows had hit the lampshade. And the mattress was a little bit crooked. Why do you have to throw pillows? Because they were in our way. And the same reason she had to bite and I had to fucking, I don't know.
She was amer and shit just guy it was fun anyways yes cold is not okay allison says coal rips uh swings out of the students i do not i'm completely innocent that all the way across the board that's that's not that's not me i do get kicked out of rooms because i'm jokey and talky we like to talk and drunk usually i'm usually. I'm not usually drunk. Well, sometimes I'm drunk. When we first started swinging, we were drunk quite a bit at the time. Sure was. And that just made it more fun.
When we first started swinging, we were both drunk a lot. No, someone had to drive. Well, a lot of times we weren't driving very far. I remember that. I was usually sober by the time we were headed home. By the time we hit McDonald's for breakfast. Bum. Loving it. No shit. I miss the coming home at 7 o'clock in the morning. No shit. I mean, I do and I don't because my body fucking is getting old. Yeah, but that wasn't fun. Did we answer her question? Just deal with it. No, communicate.
If you want it slower, say, can you go slower? If you want it faster, hey you go a little bit faster i really like it like that i had they're fine i had a girl tell me to slow down so and the thing is is honestly as a guy from a guy's perspective i can honestly say i'd rather have you tell me how to do it correctly versus leaving me to try to figure it out yeah just tell me just like by the way fyi side note here if i'm eating out and you're just bored, just tell me. Come on up.
I gave away my secret to somebody the other day. I tap out. Yeah. Yep. Yep. It's like. I'd rather fuck. Matt says, tell our dumb asses what to do. It's really kind of the truth. I mean, we don't know. And we are creatures of habit. Trust me, you guys do it when you suck dick. Girls suck dick based on what their husbands like. Okay. So all you guys... You mean guys like it different? Well, there are some guys that like it teethy. Fucking insane, but whatever. I mean, you know, but seriously.
So everybody likes it. Some guys like their balls toggled. Some guys like licking up down the outside and licking around the head and all that kind of shit. I don't just suck it. Bring her on. Oh, my gosh. I've done all that to you. You didn't mind. I'm not going to turn. It's not like I'm going to kick you out of the bed. Jesus Christ, you licked the head of my penis wrong. Get out, bitch. That's not how it's going to work. But I mean, you know.
I did have one guy that I was, it was just a bad situation where he actually goes, go faster. I'm like, for a blowjob? Guys, it is not appropriate to tell her what to do at that point in time. Look, here's the deal. You know, just be glad it's in her mouth and hope that it finds another hole next and just keep moving along. Let's not. Yeah, that's as far as that went. Because guess what happens? When their husband comes to pick him up later, they get to hear about it. Don't do that. Just saying.
Oh, it's halftime. It is halftime. That's why I was trying to get to the end of that question. Just communicate. I did. I'm funning with you. Then they lose their heart. Yes, we do. Okay. So, what are we doing? Oh, it's halftime. Hey. Oh, God. Hey, we talked about it a little bit earlier. Wow, all that sugar getting to your head. Peeps everywhere. Beeps, peeps. We talked about it earlier. Don't forget, chip out.. Chip out. There you go. That's all I got.
No, don't forget to check out FullSwapRadio.com Now you can listen to it on your computer. You can download the app for your Android FS radio or your iPhone or Apple product apps FS radio. Get it at the app store today. It's a free app. Check it out. Check out all the shows. We've just added three more shows, and there's another five getting ready to come on. And starting next month, I think we're going to have our first set of live shows going on there as well. Okay. So check it out today.
Hold on. Pause. How long were you working on the Apple app? Oh, fuck.
I started working on the Apple app two and a half months ago three months ago please use the fucking apple app use it use it a lot they would send them an email oh son of a bitch i don't know what they want you'd send them you'd ask them a question and then and then it would go into their queue to answer the question like 72 hours later and then they would put the same ambiguous vague fucking answer it's like that still tells me nothing so finally i took your advice and just sent everything i just started opening my file drawer and sending them shit i sent them like 250 pieces of paper pages i'm like motherfuckers And then i get this back that's all we needed so how are you how are who are you with yeah how how do you have the right to do anything with full swap when all of my applications has that all written out i'm i believe the answer i put was i'm the fucking owner is what i that's what i put on one of them that probably probably didn't help my cause.
Needless to say, my app was rejected about 25 times before we got it right because of the content and everything else with it. So it's up now. It's good. It's free. Everybody's like, are you going to charge for it? No. So check it out. FS Radio. It's capital F, capital S, capital R, Odeo, Radio, Adeo, not Odeo. And check it out today. So there you go. Okay. Sugar sweats. Peep me, bitches. Okay, so now we're on to round two. Did you really say that? Sure, why not? Mm-hmm.
Could you make the app by donation? No. Nope. Nope. Sure couldn't. I wish we could. We just, we hit another miles. We got to send out some, there's some full swap radio merch going out. We got new milestones and shit. So it's exciting. So, okay. So we're up now. So now we've got, so that took care of cruise control. So left on the board to choose from, we've got professional sex, down with the sickness, and socks. Oh, let's go with professional sex. Really?
Well, I kind of already figured out socks bit. Really? Kind of a given. Which thickness are we talking about? I can't answer that without... And why would you move as far away from... We're getting boom mics. I'm getting boom mics because I'm going to put you in a big helmet to mic you up. Well, maybe we need to switch. If yours is so hot, you have to stand far away from it. And mine, I have to like yell into the actual microphone really close. Then it's like you're talking to me normal.
I'm used to it. Oh, fuck off. Dick. Anyways. Okay. Professional sex. Do we want to hear the actual question, or do we want to hear my opinion first? Seriously. Oh, we'll just interweave and see where I go. Is it going to turn into a rant? No. No's hear the question Stalking maybe but a rant No not at all Let's hear the question and then you can Go on your opinion after that Well it's not an opinion it's just a fucking thing Okay I don't know Go for it Are you sure?
Okay I still have a song trying to run through my head This is from Kraken Heroin I've been trying to remember a song From The late 80's And I can only remember One little part of it at the very end And For the fucking life Of me I can't figure out Thank you.
And I can only remember One little part of it at the very end And for the Fucking life of me I can't figure out what song it is It is driving me bonkers Or as we like to say In the lifestyle Bat shit crazy I'll take bat shit crazy for a thousand Alex So this is from this is from danielle and uh nope that's not no no it's not wrong one use your pen and make sure you get it straight yeah no get it straight make sure you get it hard uh okay this is from porky and penelope i don't think that's their real names i'm just guessing that i didn't ask them if their last name was big but i just i'm going with porky and penelope it's probably not their real names okay okay they are from tennessee but no no no a little further to go well yeah it's still got some steel guitar in it okay anyways okay uh so they have recently attended one of their recent no they have recently attended a regular club that they go to in the area they're from in the state of tennessee i don't know where that's at i i have an idea where some of the swingers clubs are in tennessee so it's probably either nashville or memphis but i'm just guessing that's totally whatever you never know anyways there was a discussion that broke out amongst their group of friends uh about the whether or not it is okay to use a sex professional i.e a hooker uh whatever a sex professional to experience different things so they have a better understanding before people get in the lifestyle because they there's apparently in their little group there's somebody that's that another couple's new but they don't know how they can handle it Thank you.
experience different things so they have a better understanding before people get in the lifestyle because they there's apparently in their little group there's somebody that's that another couple is new but they don't know how they can handle it and they thought it'd be better to try something with a sex worker versus coming in the lifestyle and then not actually being ready for the lifestyle and so what they want to know is what our opinion of professional sex workers are and if they have any place in the lifestyle and if it is okay so when i reached out to them uh i didn't have a lot of questions because it's kind of like well it's more of an opinion than anything else a little bit but i asked them what their concerns were with a professional professional sex worker okay.
And it's really funny because I kind of knew where it was going. I knew where this was headed a little bit. And a lot of it was the typical stereotypes of what a sex worker is. Which the reason this is such a big deal is, think about this for a minute. As you're listening to this show right now, think about what your vanilla friends think a swinger is. Yeah. And keep that in mind. And that was their biggest concern is that was their biggest drawback of the whole thing is that bad.
That was their big concern. So already, Matt, I'm cheap. I got a bag of chips to trade. I don't know what's going on right now. The page is going nuts. Okay. Dan, since some of you see important. Well, here's the deal. One, it is surprisingly, there are now, if you get out of this stereotypical thought process of sex workers, okay, of hookers, you know, type thing.
Yes, there are, but there's a lot of people that are, they are escorts and they make a very, they have a very good career as professional sex workers and have absolutely no problem being professional sex workers and there's varying degrees of what some people consider or within that profession what is a sex worker is a is a stripper a sex worker yes to a degree okay so there's very just a foreplay there's like varying degrees of what is a sex worker.
And so to me, is there a problem with having sex workers trying something with a sex worker first? I kind of have a problem with it. Okay. Can you figure out why though? Amy, there's so much porn out there. You can find out so much about everything. That's very true. Can you figure out why I would have a problem with it? I'm paying for it. No, I know. I'm married. I'm paying for that. But I'm just kidding, everybody. That's a joke. If there's a lawyer around the house, let me know.
No, the reason I have a problem with it is is that it's like okay so just because they're a sex worker doesn't mean they're not a person so it's almost like okay so well you know here's the deal i i really want to take and do a snuff film so it's okay if i just get a hooker i mean what, what? No, you can't do that. You know what I mean? So it's the same thing with other stuff with that. Why are you just looking at me like that? Because I'm trying to process what the fuck you're saying.
So are you against them doing sex workers first?
I'm not against people using sex workers or getting sex workers.'m against i i think it's wrong to stereotype to stereotype them well yes because here's the thing it's like look i understand to me okay it makes sense to a degree if you want to see how you handle having a threesome and instead of having with a friend that you may never be able to face again to have pay somebody to have that person in we knew somebody locally yes a couple locally that they went out of country and hooked up with escorts escorts to see if they could do it yes and they loved it and came back right whatever right do i think you necessarily need to pay pay a sex worker to No.
No. Because even if you hooked up one time and you didn't like it, then you don't ever have to talk to those people again. Say it didn't work for us. We're not doing this. Right. You know, you're exactly right. And here's my other bigger thing with the whole thing is, if it's not right for you, like if you're like, okay, I want to see how I'm going to handle this. So we get a male sex worker, we get a female sex worker and we have that threesome. The deed was still done.
It's not like, well, I let my wife suck his dick, but he's a sex worker. So now I'm okay with it at the time, I don't like, nope, I'm not okay with her sucking other people's dick, but it was just a sex worker, so that's okay. You still watch her suck another dick.
If you're not a, like, if you don't know whether or not, I understand you don't necessarily know if the lifestyle is going to be right for you or not, but if you're not sure whether or not you can handle the sex part of the lifestyle, getting a professional in there to do it is not like, it's not going to change the fact that you still either fucked or hooked up with somebody else.
Like it's not even like, Oh, if you're sitting there and you're not sure if you're all right with me fucking somebody else, watching me fuck somebody that happens to be a hooker versus a nurse is that gonna make it better well that just pissed me off and i couldn't handle it but it was just a hooker so no harm no foul no it's still gonna be it's still gonna fucking grade on you it's still gonna be all kinds of shit in an issue so it's like you i don't think using a sex worker is the right way to determine whether or not the lifestyle is for you i can see i can see that being exciting look in a lot of countries in a lot of places safety wise you're probably better to go to a professional sex worker than a swingers club just saying look go to a brothel in Nevada they're regulated they you know it's there's health checks there's screenings there's a lot of things there that you just go get drunk at the fucking at the Bellagio and pick some other couple up at the table and go get drunk and go fuck.
Who knows what you're coming home with? Because guess what? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas unless you need a pill to get rid of it. So, you know, the reality is in that case, if you want to try something like that, there's a lot of sex workers that are going to be maybe a little bit better. But again, you know, I mean, I don't think just because they do it for profession, we can say, well, that makes them like, they're dirty and, you know, swingers aren't.
I mean, there's a lot of fucking nasty swingers. What's Mike saying? Be careful. What I was thinking earlier about, you know, not the quality of sex worker. Right. You might look at, you know, if she's like he, she. Right. Is standing on a street corner looking for her next meth fix. Right. You know. Right. There might be some caution there because she doesn't have a whole lot of regulations. Look, if she's, all she's carrying is a fucking purse and a spoon, then probably no.
That wouldn't be the best. That's not so much a professional sex worker as, you know, I need to fix my habit. Look, here's the deal. I absolutely, unequivocally want to, at some point in time in my life, while I can still get it up because I don't want to pay and then have it not work, go to a brothel in Vegas. Not in Vegas, in Nevada. Just once. Okay. Just once. I got to have money and make sure I can do that because it's not cheap. Imagine that. I know. But just saying.
But by the same token, I don't necessarily want to drive down to the worst section of you know a big city and and the first you know just because i have a fuzzy coat which we know i have a thing for fuzzy coats you know just first person with a fuzzy coat that asked me if i want to party doesn't mean that i'm like well yeah let's fucking here's your five bucks let's go for it you know there's a difference there it's not going to be julia roberts in the corner i'll tell you no no probably not i mean there there's a there's like a huge there's a huge a huge difference there but i i mean i get it you know i don't know look my thing is this i just want the opportunity one time in my life to be able to disappoint a professional i don't want to pay for it you don't have to pay for it no i mean just in in terms of just a sex professional in general i would i personally wouldn't pay for it as a chick i don't think you would have to regardless look we'll go to one of the escorts what the fuck are you talking about i know there are but here's their clientele is largely not women.
So the thing is, is that here's the deal. We will go to, well, remember, also professional can be like porn stars too as well. Okay. So here's the thing.
I promise if we go to Exotica, okay, or one of the Exotica conferences, whatever, we get down there that there are a couple of the guys that i would have no problem that you can hook up with the thing is people forget like with adult stars and stuff they they do have regular sex with ron jeremy i'm sorry he's in jail you can't hook up with him but you know there's you know there's a lot of these they have they have regular lives so they do actually like hook up with people they party they have normal you know it's really funny when the first time you get to meet you meet a uh uh true like professional actor or actress in the adult industry and and you know your brain instantly goes to all the fucking stupid videos you've ever seen like here's the deal guess what adult porn stars in their regular real life sex they they actually have like regular like sex like people sex yeah it's not everything's not like swing not every like adult actress you know walks around constantly in in stilettos and shit like that it doesn't really happen like that I just want to disappoint a professional that's all I want to do I just want to I bet I can disappoint you for something special we actually I know a couple and I know a couple gals and they're very very cool and what's really fun it's awesome to listen to them talk about the fucking complete fucking stereotypes that they deal with.
Oh I'm sure.
It is fucking amazing and these are some of the most badass business people I've ever met in my life I mean they're like fucking the shit they control their image one of the guys she's super cool she's got another show on the radio station and she's got she just finished her second book she's a college degree master's degree I believe in business second written her second book just finished a documentary on her life created two different board games I mean she's got like more it's like holy fucking shit now business fucking guru and a half it's awesome i'm almost there so so very fucking close god i just want anyways we'll try to have her on the show the sex part professionally yeah absolutely i'll see if i can work out she wants me on our show okay she wants me to come out and do a show with that.
I want it so bad, I want it going, that'd be awesome. I'll see if I can work out. She wants me on our show. Okay. She wants me to come out and do a show like that. I want it so bad. I want it to be awesome. I would totally be starstruck. I'd just be like, hey, hi, I'm stupid. You tend to get that way. Not very often. Sometimes I do. Just on occasion. Well, I've seen it in person once. Every now and then I get a little. And Sunshine thought it was funny. She laughed her ass off at me.
I went all fanboy. That didn't happen very often. Don't you dare. She goes, don't you go fanboy on me. I'm like, I'm not fanboy. Can you sign my calendar? Yeah, I'm a fucking two and a half. Whatever. There you go. So there you go. Hope that answered your question. Oh crap. Time's up. Yeah. Wow. Look at this. We help people. We push it. We made fun of each other. We got the show recorded. It went really fast. I know. Don't forget our birthday is coming up this week. Come out.
There's still spots. Kazma's birthday. Not mine. I got another six months. Wait a minute. What month is this? Three? I have three months. so fuck off. So I have five months. Yeah. Yeah. Well, but your birthday is just another old person birthday. Mine's the, you broke the barrier. You powered through to the 50. And you've handled it like a boss. No, I didn't. No, that day you didn't.
That day, I couldn't say i was 50 for a month leading up to it and three months afterwards okay so so nine out of the 12 months you did a really good job congratulations you've moved on now perfect and now you're more than happy to tell everybody about me being 50 so don't forget sign up for wait till it gets closer i'm gonna be excited as hell i can't wait i'm giddy as fuck uh make sure you sign up for my 50th birthday party, Crazy Summer Nights.
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Good articles. Three million swingers can't be wrong. And finally, hey, guess what? You've read the mag. You just listened to the show. Come on, fucker. Go buy some swag. That didn't come out right at all, but whatever. That's close. Close enough. Full Swap Shop. I almost said the wrong thing. Full Swap Shop dot com. Check it out. Our show and several others. Support everybody with a t-shirt. That's what we do. With that being said, kids, we are going to get out of here.
We're going to do it the only way I know how, the only way I want to, and the only way I ever motherfucking will. Casbah Style. Out. Bye.
