The fantasy says the cuckolding and hotwifing lifestyle is effortless: hotter sex, more confidence, more freedom, and a stronger bond. The truth is a lot messier, and when women leave, it’s usually not random. Venus is joined by Crystal Welch and Blonde On The Bay for a real, sometimes brutal look at what actually drives women and couples to walk away from the cuckolding and hotwifing lifestyle.Links:Crystal Welch - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/cwBlonde on the Bay - X and BlueskyMeet Greet with Venus May 7th in Canada - https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/eventsBe a guest on the show! https://www.venuscuckoldress.com/contact-venus❤️Venus Connections❤️ - Matchmaking for loving cuckolding relationships and female-led relationships. Learn more at https://www.venusconnections.com/ Give her what she wants 💦 🍆 the Thrum - triple the pleasure, feel the difference 🤤 BUY NOWDestination Links for Venus - https://lnk.bio/VenusPodcast
Transcript
Hey, are you looking for a hot wife? Maybe you're looking for a cuckold relationship. Then you need to join Venus Connections matchmaking service. It's totally private, it's fun blind dates, and all members are vetted. And it works. There was even a wedding last year and there'll be another one next year. It's definitely hard to find your life partner. I know. And it's even harder to find this kind of relationship. But you'll never win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket, right?
So join VenusConnections.com. That's VenusConnections.com. And find the relationship of your dreams. This is the Venus Cuckoldress podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate, and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all.
let's go welcome to the show i'm your host venus thanks for joining me today i have a special episode today with my friends crystal welch and blonde on the bay we're going to be talking about why women and couples might walk away from the cuckold and hot wife lifestyle. I think it happens more often than you'd assume, and we're going to be talking about some of the reasons behind it.
And some of you may totally understand the frustrations, the struggles, or sometimes even the complete fucking catastrophes, the crash and burns, the oh shit, what the fuck happened in the cuckold and hot wife lifestyle. And you can check out the show notes for today's episode to get the links and information for Crystal Welch.
Of course, she's got lots of stuff that she offers for people in the lifestyle, as well as Blonde on the Bay, you can check out her links and resources and she does events now as well. So check out the show notes for that. Now for announcements before we jump into the show. First of all, I know at the beginning of this year, I put a shout out to everybody saying this is the year I really want to highlight women as guests on the show to share their stories about the cuckold hot wife lifestyle.
If you are a woman or know of a woman who would like to share her story on this show, I would love to hear from you. You can go to venuscuckoldress.com, click on the contact form and send me an email that way. That would be great. And then also I have a special event that's coming up. It is a casual meet and greet where you can come and say hello to me. You can meet me in person. This is going to be a fun little casual event.
I'm going to be traveling through the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia, Canada, and that will be Thursday, May 7th. So mark your calendars. If you are local to the Okanagan Valley area of British Columbia, Canada, and you would like to come and meet me on May 7th. You can just come on down. It's a free event. It's a very casual event. I'm not renting out a space. I'm just going to be in a funky little love this place, little bar.
And you can just come and share a drink and say hello and introduce yourself. It's going to be a ton of fun. And that you can either register on FetLife. I've created an event, my profile on FetLife is Venus Queen. So you can go check out my profile and you can see my event on there, click on it and you can RSVP and get more information about where exactly it is. Or you can register in the Queen's Quarters community, which is my free online community for anybody interested in the lifestyle.
And you can get to that through venuscuckoldress.com. Just click on the Queen's Quarters community link. And last but not least, I would like to say a big, huge thank you to all of my listeners of the podcast. Thank you for tuning in all the time and being a fan of the show. And especially a big thank you to everyone who has supported this podcast by becoming a supporter. And I have two different tier levels on venuscuckoldress.com. I have the friends with benefits tier the Helpful Cuck tiers.
And those are paid tiers where supporters can support the show and they get all sorts of really awesome benefits. And the Friends with Benefits tier, you get like, I think it's like 100 bonus episodes, private, it's a private podcast that you get access to, which is pretty cool, and a bunch of other benefits.
And then the helpful cuck tier, you get a free private chat with me each month, as well as a weekly live hangout, where we get to hang out by video and chat about all things going on in my life. Plus, you get access to the private Snapchat group. So it's a ton of fun. It's a great way to get to know myself as well as some of the other supporters. And I will say that they're just the Helpful Cut group has been around for a while.
There's a lot of guys in there who've been in there for a long time and they're all friends now, which is pretty fucking cool. And you might meet some of them actually at the meet and greet event that's happening in May. So there's that. If you want to join either one of those tiers and support this show, you can just go to venuscuckoldress.com and click on the link where it says the fan hub. All right, that's it for announcements. Let's jump into this show today. Here we go.
Welcome to the show everybody. I'm doing a special show with my friend Crystal Welch and we also have Blonde on the Bay joining us. We're going to be talking about why women might want to leave the cuckolding or hot wifing lifestyle. And we're going to be discussing all of that today. So welcome everybody to the show. Hello, Crystal. Hello, blonde on the bay. Hello. So glad to be here. Hello. Always nice to chat with you ladies. Okay. So this is such a great topic.
I know that I've thought about this. I've come across this over the years. Um, and, but I haven't really come across anybody talking about this subject of why women specifically would be wanting to leave this lifestyle. I know I have my own experiences that have made me want to leave the lifestyle. I've seen lots of couples exit over the years and never really knew what happened. So this is going to be great to discuss this.
Crystal, do you want to start out by talking a little bit about this topic and what you've come across? Yeah, I'm primarily a writer. I write far more than I podcast these days. And I'm interested in what my readers think because I've gotten a pretty healthy following where my blog is, and I'm always asking them what they think about different topics, and they leave me feedback. Some of them will write two or three paragraphs of thoughts if something really sparks them.
And so I started taking notes and I started keeping track. Now, lay that on the backdrop of I too have been very serious about leaving the lifestyle. And a lot of it is the reasons that I can go. So I came up with six primary things that other people told me that causes them to become disenchanted with a lifestyle and then in some cases ultimately leave it. What are some of the things that people have been saying about this topic?
Well, starting with this one, because this is my biggest reason why I have considered jumping out and it is the transactional nature that can be for a lot of people. Lack of curiosity, being treated like I'm just an experience to collect, not actually a person to connect with. It doesn't seem to be the reciprocity and desire. Our pleasure and comfort is an afterthought oftentimes. And I, for one, look for, you know, some intellectual conversation and I've got to have connection.
And in the absence of those two things, I'm out. And so that leaves me in a very narrow niche anyway, because not every woman wants that. There's lots of women who don't want that connection. They just want a transaction. But a lot of women do want it. I think oftentimes women don't know how to ask for that. They try and approach and try and get conversation and try and get connection going and don't really know how to do it. I mean, there isn't a handbook for this.
So that's a big reason that gets demeaning and discouraging, and that has caused a number of women that follow me. I wanted to mention, too, that I write down these answers when these questions come up, and this is where a lot of this information has come from. It's not just me, but that happens to be one of my big ones. If I was, you know, I have a particular difficulty in that I live in a non-diverse area, which makes it hard to connect anyway.
And then I have these other requirements on top of that, which puts me in a very, very narrow slice. And I acknowledge that, but I'm not the only one that feels that way. So I think what bulls miss when they hear that women want genuine connection, it's for many of us, it's what makes it memorable and what keeps me willing to engage. Transactional nature burns bridges and I don't want to, I don't want to engage. And I think there's a lot of women that feel that way. Then the big one, safety.
Women are being assaulted at lifestyle events and in private spaces. It's not rare. And the consent boundaries are often pushed, ignored, or treated as suggestions. And the attitude seems to be, she's here at a lifestyle event, so anything goes. She's here, so she's available, you know, on my terms.
And then I think what happens on top of that is some of these communities, you know, we have a friend that recently talked about this, the communities that protect their own reputation and their regulars over the women who have been harmed, and the victims are quietly asked not to cause drama. I think this is very, very common.
You'd be shocked at how many women, when I bring up with the topic of safety, how many women raise their hands and say i've been raped and i've been raped personally and it's a really tough topic and still hard to talk about and how do we make inroads with that i think these these difficult things we have to talk about or they never get solved but to just go silent you know there's no formal reporting structures or accountability and i think i think it's possible i mean i don't have any statistics but it's possible that predatory type men might seek out ethical non-monogamy social events because they feel there is no accountability.
That thought that if you're here at a sex party, you get sex, you know, if I want it. And that's just terribly dangerous. So I think the hard truth for bulls that might be hearing this, if you're not actively creating safety, you're part of the environment that enables the men who aren't. And I think that's really where it comes down. Men have to also be proactive and protective towards women and not just protect the, you know, the bros.
Because it's really, that is absolutely, I mean, I know we personally have known people that have just bounced out of lifestyle because there was no accountability, no responsibility for what happened. And it's really sad. Blondie, I wanted to ask you about these first two reasons that Crystal has listed off. So it being the lifestyle, just feeling very transactional and not a lot of depth as far as like connection and stuff like that for women.
And I happen to agree that a lot of women do really want that. They do want that kind of connection and they just don't find it. And it's kind of gives them the ick. But Blondie, I wanted to ask you about that and the safety aspect that the crystal was bringing up. Interracial, black and white, the beautiful and sexy relationship dynamic that we love now in a lifestyle clothing brand you can wear with pride. Don't sacrifice quality and comfort All right.
black and white, the beautiful and sexy relationship dynamic that we love now in a lifestyle clothing brand you can wear with pride. Don't sacrifice quality and comfort any longer. With Maison Dinesh, you get both in fresh, empowering looks for every occasion for everyone, from the streets to the sheets and everywhere in between. Check us out at MaisonDinesh.com. Maison Dinesh Couture, modern fashion for the modern revolution. Well, yeah, safety. Safety first, always, for me.
Like, I have couples telling me that, oh, they're going to go on a trip and she's going to meet her first guy, but she doesn't want me there. And that's a huge red flag for me. And I stop them right away and know her safety comes before anything else. Don't let her go meet some guy by herself. You know, and because it's not like you said, it's not always somebody that you don't know. It's often somebody that you do. So if you're partnered, bring your partner. You know, be aware.
And husbands, partners, you should have your wife or girlfriend's safety as the top. You know, stop thinking with your little dick and realize this woman is more important than any hot scene you might get to watch. And as far as the transactional versus connection, I know women in both courts. I know a lot of women for whom this is just an escape from reality. They go to these events and they just get their brains fucked out and they love it. That's what they're there for.
But yet there are many women like you guys have said, and similar to yourselves who, who do require it or want that connection. It's not just a numbers game for them. And I'm mostly in your court as well. And that I, I'm not a numbers girl. I would prefer to meet somebody, have a conversation, make sure that they have a great personality. But when you go to the big events, you go in there realizing that's not what this is about.
If you want the connection and stuff, it's more of a one on one meeting somebody. And then you get into that whole, well, then how do we meet somebody? How do you find the right one? How do you find the right guy? How do you find the right bull? So, yeah, I can understand why women would be completely frustrated if they want connection and the only times they ever play in the lifestyle are at these big events.
that would I mean if I thought that that was all it was I would be out too so it's exploring it's finding other That would, I mean, if I thought that that was all it was, I would be out too. So it's exploring, it's finding other ways to make those connections. And, you know, like yourself, Crystal, I live in a very non-diverse area in Canada.
And, you know, I'll be three, four months without playing and and that's hard and but it is what it is so I have I have some good quality connections and I look forward to those yeah I feel you on that I live in like the fucking worst place you and I are tied yeah Yeah, I don't know. We're all in the same arena with that thing. I mean, it is just.
Well, let's talk about that because this is, I don't know if this is on your list, Crystal, but like I have heard this as a really big reason why couples get frustrated and just give up on this lifestyle is because they can't find any suitable bulls. Like this is just, it's just not happening. And they all say, I thought it would be easier than this. Cause like, it does make sense that it would be easier, but it really fucking is not. Yeah. Well, we're in that category.
I mean, every other week I'm, I, you know, I'm telling Richard that I'm out because, frankly, the hunt is just too much. It's exhausting. It's unfulfilling. You know, not long ago, I ended up meeting one guy who was absolutely delightful. We had video chats over about, you know, two or three weeks time and, and talked anywhere from an hour to 90 minutes each time. I mean, we just really, it was all right there. Fantastic connection.
So he decided to fly up here, and we ended up spending the weekend together. It was fantastic. Now, as it Turns out he's a hella busy professional, has no time to do commuter things. So we're, you know, we're just friends. And, you know, I think my long-held dream of having a regular like him is probably not going to happen. But I'm just encouraged that this idea of a man that can connect, smart as hell, handsome, he's like 6'3", he's just absolutely a golden human.
And he's somebody that I'd be friends with regardless if we never slept with each other. And it was encouraging to me to find somebody like that because really I've gone for several years without feeling a connection like that. So it's possible, you know, and then you find one, they live in a city down in California and are busy all the time. So there you go.
Or across yeah yeah across the country so you know i think that takes the place of you know it's doesn't really do much for the cuck because you know you're not involved anywhere in there and it's just that part is sad we'd be we'd get together more often if it was possible, I'm sure, but we don't. And so, so that is a huge reason that couples leave the lifestyle. Probably if I ever completely leave the lifestyle, that probably be right at the top of the list. Yeah.
Because it's, it just, it's, you know, it sucks all the joy out of it to have to work so hard to find one person that you just absolutely connect with on every level. It's not easy. Yeah. And maybe they've just been flaked or ghosted or catfished or way too many fucking times and they're just like, okay, this is not worth it.
Or the wife is just not able to find this this specific type of guy this specific type of dynamic that she's looking for and she's just like fuck this that's just exactly what you just said it becomes a job it becomes a chore it's no longer fun and it's it's just like an abusive relationship like you're just like why the fuck am I doing this well and it's you know it's it's one of those things in life that you have to you weigh out it's like the Ben Franklin thing you got to weigh out the benefits versus the costs of it the cost the mental energy the time involved the the flakes and the fakes and the all the stuff you have to wade through that maybe you'll find one person that connects.
It is. For most people, it's too much work. And it's not fulfilling enough. There's not enough benefit at the end of the day to continue on. I mean, that's pretty much where I've been for a while.
But like I said, my new friend gives me hope, and I'm just glad that he's my friend you know yeah we'll probably not be anything more than that because of his obligations but yeah I know so many amazing guys in this lifestyle lots of great bulls and they're all like in a different country and like way far away and I'm just like can one of you guys yeah fucking you one of you guys just fucking move next door to me like i know right i literally live in this fucking city that has zero black men and i know i've been looking there's none there's zero that's that makes it really really hard and so you do you do?
You take a road trip. Yeah, you travel to go see them. But I mean, that that can and that's OK. But like that's it's not a regular it's not the regular thing that you want. Right. Well, it is because it's not sustainable. I mean, we've done that before. We've flown guys that I found somewhere else, you know, but that was when Rich was still, you know, before he retired. And we had a much bigger budget to bull fly. But we don't have that now. And not only that, but it's not sustainable.
I mean, okay, so you have a good weekend with someone, you know, but it costs you $500, $600, $700, $800 to spend a weekend with them. That's not sustainable. So that isn't the answer. It's fine if you can do it or even do it on a limited basis, but it's not the answer. And we're not likely to leave this area, so it just is what it is. You know, I'll tell you, Splash isn't even a win for me. I've been to Splash twice. I loved my experience there, but it wasn't the bulls.
It was the other couples that we met. And I got to meet Venus in person. And it was the human beings that were there that would just, you know, it changed my entire perspective on who are these other couples and just such a quality group of people. But, you know, when you get down to the fact that I go to Splash Mocha and I find one person I want to be with, that's an expensive piece of butt right there. And so, you know, that's not sustainable either.
So, you know, I've got all kinds of things here. But, yeah, those are all the difficulty factors. You know, for the couples that live in Atlanta, that live in L.A., you know, they've got a plethora of choices. And so, you know, I get it. I'm sure I would be a lot more, you know, active if that were the case, too.
But, you know, if there was an IR party every weekend and you knew all the people who were going all the time, that would that would be great it would isn't anything like that where any because it's it's the community is really what makes it come i mean the very i was at the splash where the very very first cocktail party was and um and we've met we met people there that we're friends with to this day.
It was just such a glorious experience and to be really in a group of your peers where you can be open and honest and talk about real life things. And, yeah, I wish there was a way, you know, some kind of a and I think you're on to some good ideas with the parties that you're going to do with Sean in Vegas. You know, that's a pretty, you know, for West Coast people, that's a location that most people can get to without a lot. Well, it's easy to fly into Vegas from anywhere, direct flight, right?
Yeah. And yeah, I think I've had so much interest already. I've had my DMs are blowing up that people are asking, how do I get on this list? How do I get on your invite list? And guys, too. Yeah.
So, you know, that's a place where you can meet vetted, quality, experienced black men who are there to spend time with people right and for me it isn't even them I mean I'm happy to meet and make new friends with quality bulls absolutely happy to but it's the other the couples you know that I have found the most joy in just to be in a group of my peers you know people that understand the cuck dynamic people that you know we can talk openly and honestly about all the cuck challenges including how difficult it is to find the right people to to be with but it's it's been a really it's, very interesting time.
What are some of the other, what are some of the other things that people have, that you've come across along the way? Okay. I touched on this a little bit before, but it was called that like the lack of vetting and the community accountability.
Bad actors face almost no consequences because communities won't ban them or you know they're afraid it's going to damage somebody's reputation and then when a woman speaks up about a bad experience where questions disbelieved or told that we misread the situation make excuses for these bad actors and then this it seems like for many women they they saw it as the lifestyle's obsession with no drama has sort of become the code language for silencing women's legitimate concerns like ah don't create drama you know you're being a drama queen and just go have fun and and they sort of write it off and push it off.
And that's alienating for a lot of women that they don't, you know, they're on their own to vet and you know, and if they come up with something that's bad. I think what really works, what I've seen work is that it's these networks of women because we talk to each other and here's something that I think all bulls need to hear Thank you. Thank you. Bye-bye. We talk to each other openly, honestly, authentically.
And we don't talk about it in a mixed company and we sure don't talk to bulls about it. So there's a breakdown in that whole thing. But women share information. When we find a bad actor out there, I think many of us feel a responsibility to tell the groups that we're in and share that. I mean, one bad experience for one person doesn't mean that they're all evil people or anything like that, but we talk, we talk.
And you both need to be aware of that because you may not be being held accountable in your group situations, but I'm telling you, women are vetting you and they're, you accountable amongst themselves. And I think that's good because it's really the only thing we have to try and protect ourselves in group situations when there are bad actors present. So I'm glad that women talk.
I'd like to circle back to what you said about when women, when we're told that we're silenced and we feel that we don't have our voice, we're not heard. We, all of us have spent so much time telling women how empowering the lifestyle is and how your confidence will grow and your self-esteem will grow. So for women to think, like to feel, okay, good, I'm going to do this. I'm coming into the lifestyle and her confidence begins to soar.
And then something like that happens, something negative happens. And she's like told to just, Oh, don't bring it up. Now we were making her small again, right? And we're trying to build women up.
So every time we silence a woman and every time we tell her to shush and don't make drama and don't cause a scene you're making her small again yeah where's the freedom in that you know where's the freedom in that that's a really good point and here's the other um the other part that there's an emotional labor imbalance Women tend to carry the emotions involved in these interactions much more so than the men do. When things go wrong, women are often blamed. You should have communicated better.
And bad behavior becomes our responsibility somehow. And exhaustion is quiet. This is what happens. I think with all of this, the emotional labor imbalance adds to this too. And exhaustion is quiet. We don't announce that we're leaving or we don't, you know, announce that, you know, it's just turned us off the whole lifestyle. We just stop saying yes and we just bounce and and I think that's the unfortunate part of lifestyle, we just stop saying yes and we just bounce.
And, um, and I think that's the unfortunate part of women being silenced on any of these things because you're exactly right. It's very disempowering. And then this, the cost benefit analysis of this thing doesn't add up real quick.
And so I wish, and that's why i love to take on these topics that nobody else wants to take on because we need to talk about this stuff we need to hear it we need to actually take some of these ideas to heart and and say am i making this situation better am i making it worse you know uh my hope is that's what happens i've got a reason why women might leave the lifestyle other mean women you know when you go to events and stuff they can be very cliquey and feeling discluded and excluded over and over again by other women would be a reason I would feel again made to feel small and insignificant and that I shouldn't be there and I think it's it's the job of women to hold each other up and to when you see a woman at an event and she looks timid and she looks scared and you can tell she's new go over and talk to her don't be like oh my god they're new huh well they'll figure it out no they won't they need help you know so being a mean girl isn't making you look cool it isn't making the guys think you're hotter you're just alienating yourself and creating just a a negative atmosphere for other women.
And so keep in mind, you mean girls out there, the rest of us women do talk. We're going to point out you two. So you just got to know there's a network of information that goes around and you get on a list and it won't be good for your long-term stability in this lifestyle. One of the things that I've noticed over the last decade plus years of being in this lifestyle is it's really interesting. I've really been able to kind of just like, you know, from a few steps back, watch what goes on.
And one of the things that I've seen is that I've seen several couples get into the lifestyle very quickly, dive in headfirst. And I mean like dive in. I mean, they are all for it. They are doing all the things. They start a blog. They started OnlyFansans. They're doing all the things. They got all these projects and go, they're doing all the things. And then maybe six months later, poof, they're gone. They just disappear. You never hear from them again. You never see them.
You don't know what happened. They're just like gone. I've seen this happen more than a few times enough to know that like, okay, I don't know exactly what the reason is, but something's going on there. I suspect that it is a huge burden to put on your relationship to go through and do all of those things. And it seems fun at the time, but it's actually taking a put on your relationship to, to go through and do all of that, those things.
And it seems fun at the time, but it's actually taking a toll on your relationship and they need to exit like quickly. I have also seen where it's happened, uh, where couples make that very critical decision of putting their face out there and it doesn't go well. They pick, they inherit a stalker or somebody outs them in their personal life and it turns into something really, really bad. I've seen that with couples as well. And, uh, and then they're just poof gone.
Like you never see them and i can relate i've had my fair share of stalkers if there is such a thing as a fair share um of stalkers over the years that have creeped me the fuck out and made me never want to step foot in this lifestyle ever again. And it was the scariest shit that I had to deal with. Blondie, I know that you've been through something similar where you had a scary situation as well. So this could definitely be a reason why couples and women be like, fuck no, I'm out. Oh, yeah.
I was almost like I was ready to delete everything, change my name, change everything because I'm blonde on the bay everywhere. So I'm easy to I don't know. I was almost like I was ready to delete everything, change my name, change everything because I'm blonde on the bay everywhere. So I'm easy to find, right? And I've made sure that my personal private life was so locked down and separate. I thought I had done a great job. But now, I mean, things have settled down.
I'm not getting the emails anymore. Now I'm probably going to get one, but whatever. Well, I, if you've been in the lifestyle for any amount of time at all, you have had these situations and this adds to it. So I think the conclusion that I see with all of that is there's There's a gap between what the level is and what the level is and what the level the promise of the lifestyle.
And then the reality of it, which is, you know, can be objectification, risk, emotional work work and it's that gap that people are constantly weighing you know is it is this worth it or not is there enough benefit in this or not and that process is demoralizing because what you thought you were embarking on here ends up many cases not to be or you can have a really good patch and then you have a really bad experience and it colors the rest of your experience i mean that's just kind of how it works so but i think a lot of people also don't understand how much emotional work it is not just when you're you're trying to find a bull or be in in the lifestyle but in your own relationship you and your partner have to be have pretty amazing communication and I know that my husband and I did not when we entered the lifestyle the first three years was like nothing but fighting sort of thing.
So it took us a lot. It took us like a few years to get there. And there were a lot of times when he was like, well, this is this isn't worth it. Forget it. We're not going to do this anymore. I said, well, you can't make that decision unilaterally without me, because I'm not I'm not thinking the same way. I want you introduced me to this. I'm I'm here. This is me. I found it. And so it was we worked through so much. Now we're great. And we're both on board.
But it was still like, it's a lot of work. And that's what a lot of people don't understand. They jump into the lifestyle for the adventure and how sexy it is and how fun it is. But there's a flip side. That's really a lot of work. And I didn't really sign up for work. I signed up for fun. And you gave a great example there to Blondie because that is really common for a lot of people, that the emotional interruption possibly with your cuck and feelings that you didn't count on.
And you have to integrate those. And depending on the strength of your overall relationship, you can either get through those and become a lot better. Or, you know, I think that's another reason that people would leap because they're afraid it's going to disrupt their primary relationship. And I think that's valid. That's valid for a lot of people.
One of the things that I don't know how often this happens, I wish I knew, but I don't know any friends in the lifestyle who this has happened to, but this is obviously, you know, a woman ultimately walking out the door on the lifestyle in that she falls in love with a bull and leaves her husband. Um, and I've heard of it happening. Like, I don't know anyone that happened to personally, but like, of course this happens.
Um, I've, you know, there's corners of the internet where you get a guy who will pop up and say, yeah, my wife left me. And, and that's, but that's literally like all I ever hear about. I never get any guy who wants to come on the show and talk about it. Like never. And I understand it's, it hurts. You don't want to talk about it. I get it.
But like, it would be nice to hear about that that aspect if it does happen but I have that is another reason why women would would walk out is you know but what that situation right there also can lead to and this is kind of what happened with us because the hunt was so difficult and so unfulfilling we decided that we really were much more poly flavored that he is not threatened if I have an emotional attachment to a particular bull because we're solid with us I'm not leaving him there's there's no one to leave him for but that also opens the door that yeah i'll have real feelings this guy i was just explaining about a little while ago i have real feelings for him i lament the fact that he'll never be able to fulfill those things fully but but i can't deny that there's real feelings there and um what we came to ultimately with that discussion is love doesn't have to be a zero-sum game if i find a way to add more love into my life bitchered benefits from benefits from that too.
We see it more as love multiplied, not as love divided. And the only analogy that I draw to that is if you have three kids, you might have one that's slightly favorite, but you love all your three kids.
You don't throw the rest of them out because you have a because you have a favorite one or something like that but we've talked about this a hundred hours and i wanted to be crystal clear because i do want the connection i don't want anything but connection and it's very difficult to find if i find it i want to pursue it to the length that I can. And he gets that. He gets that. He wants that for me.
And I think that you only can come to that, and this is my perception of it because I have the only life I can examine. If you're very, very solid in the marriage to begin with, like, I don't have a better place to go. You know, I'm not looking for a replacement for him. I'm looking to add something to it. And I just happen to need really deep intellectual connection and emotional connection and physical connection. That comes with attachment. And he understands that. I appreciate him.
And I'll tell you the fact that he came to that same conclusion that that's a good thing and not a dividing thing is one of the things that makes me most loyal to him which it's counterintuitive but it's absolutely true I mean where else am I going to go to be with a good cuck that lets me be fully in whatever situation I want to get involved in? I need a bitchard. Everybody does. Everybody needs a bitchard. Damn it.
I know, but you know, I, I, I just can't tell you how much I appreciate him and revere him and respect him because he genuinely lets me be all the way me. I'm not a candidate for transactional fuckboys. I'm just not a candidate for them. It doesn't do anything for me. I've said a thousand times, you know, if I'm going to be sexually connected to someone, I want a good experience, not just an experience. And for me, that involves real connection.
And when real connection is there, real attachment forms. And so I can't separate those things out. That's just my hard wiring. And I feel so grateful and so lucky that I have a man who sees that in me and is not threatened by it and encourages me all the way to follow those trails wherever they may lead. And we're not getting the worst, and that's just all I know. So that's probably on the lunatic fringe of cut couples.
And if he didn't feel that way, then we probably would be out of the lifestyle already because like I said, it's so hard to find somebody who's willing to connect and somebody who also wants that and who can show up and be fully authentic. That's, that's so very rare. My cost-benefit analysis is really poor. So much more work to the lifestyle. But you meet one person like this one man, and he restores my faith in the lifestyle. He restores my faith in what kind of guys, they do exist out there.
What's his position? You know, he's getting involved with a married woman. I mean, like I said, we're not going to be able to do anything about this, but, you know, he's game. He's game to play whatever part he can. Last but not least, I do have one more thing to add. Oh, good.
One more one more thing to add um is that i know we've talked about like married women and leaving the lifestyle couples leaving the lifestyle and stuff like that but i just want to add uh because it's important to note that the there are single single women who are are enjoying this lifestyle as a single cuckoldress like myself who are looking for a partner or are dating, looking for a cuck partner to have this kind of relationship that both you lovely ladies already have.
And there are definitely reasons why those of us who are single ladies would want to give the fuck up and never return to this lifestyle. And I know that we've had, there've been discussions about this in our women's group, uh, on this subject. And I, I feel like I'm like an expert on this subject, unfortunately, never thought I'd be here, but anyway, 11 years later. Anyway. It's Canada. It's just Canada. And Portland.
I just want to add that as a single woman, the biggest thing for me to want to duck out and call it quits in this lifestyle over the last decade has been how unpleasant dating is. Um, and there are dating in general, as everybody who's listening probably knows, like dating in general sucks ass and not in a nice way, but, um, it's very unpleasant. And, uh, but dating cucks specifically has a whole host of extra challenges layered on top.
Um, that is the whole reason why I made my matchmaking service. Cause I wanted to address that. Uh, but yeah, it's, it's not just myself. It's a lot of these other single ladies who are looking for a cuck that will echo the exact same concerns over why this is so incredibly frustrating. And they too have felt like giving up.
Like I've always said that if you're a single woman and you're trying to date cucks, like you have to be really fucking dedicated to finding this, like, and take a lot of breaks along the way, because like, it is unpleasant. You ladies, I've always said this and I will continue to always say this. Cuckolding is a privilege for couples. It really fucking is. You already have this relationship that you've built together, that you've been with together, and you can always draw on that.
You this road together and you're just you know you're building on that relationship whereas like it is a fucking struggle if you're trying to look for this from the get-go that's why it's really important to build a relationship first before adding in the cuckolding but that's always the mistake that we make because it's so fun and sexy and everything like that is to like dive in, in the beginning. And it's just, that's, it's a trap. Don't do it. Yeah.
That's, that is a huge mistake right there that you just identified because I think people find out about cuckolding because it's in porn. It's a, it's one of the biggest porn categories out there. And all these things. Misrepresented. Totally misrepresented. Don't even get me started. Yeah. No, it's totally misrepresented. But too many guys will watch that and they go, God, yeah, that's hot. I want to do that.
You know, and so they approach women with, just like the guy you shared earlier, the Venus, That the assumptions that they make and the shallowness and the, you don't have a clue what's involved in this. But to think that you're going to be successful at that dynamic, if you don't have absolutely, I mean, ironclad relationship skills to begin with. You're not going to make it. And so it is not a solution for a relationship that's struggling.
You've got to bring all your tools to the table and then add a whole bunch more. And then you have a chance. You know, you have a chance at building something that's really exalted. A true male that has developed himself to that extent. I'll see you next time. You know, you have a chance of building something that's really exalted. A true male that has developed himself to that extent. I've said this many times. He's a higher life form. He's just a higher caliber of man.
His ego is intact and under control. He's sure of himself. He's not threatened by other men. he likes what he likes and is totally cool with a woman being free and open to find what fulfills her the most. I mean, how would you not celebrate a man like that? Unfortunately, there's a lot of men that would like to take that crown and put it on their own heads and they haven't't done the work. Yeah. They don't know what's involved. And they're not in real life. Yeah. I think it's all the kids. Yeah.
It's all the porn stuff. Yeah. And that's not it. That's not it. This has been a really good talk. I appreciate you guys so much. I think it's something that really needed to be talked about and I hope that it encourages more conversation and more connecting with other women, with other couples, with bulls. I hope that some of them pay attention to some of this stuff because you're either adding to the lifestyle of some kind of a way or you're part of the problem.
I mean, that's kind of comes down yeah I agree totally I have enjoyed this this conversation so much Blondie Crystal I always love talking with you guys and but this one this this topic has been really really important and great for us to explore so I really appreciate you both coming on the show and hashing this one out I hope, I think that a lot of people are going to find this one very interesting. So thanks so much for joining me. That's going to be it for today's episode.
Thank you so much for joining me. Make sure you go to venuscuckoldress.com. That's where you can book a private chat with me. And you can also join the Queen the queen's quarters community and get all the amazing benefits like the private podcast and the helpful cuck tier where you can get key holding for the private snapchat group monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events oh and you can also submit a question or confession for the show.
Just go to venuscuckoldress.com and click on the link that says the podcast. Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social. Yes, I said Blue Sky Social. Fuck Twitter. My handle there is at CuckoldressV. All right, that's it for today's show. You guys, we'll amazing you've you've probably heard me talk about cuck porn before and how much i'm not really a big fan and why because it's not really made for women right but afterglow different. Afterglow is ethical porn made by women for women.
Well, it's for everyone, but it is especially for women. And I'll give you an example. They have hot wifing videos that one of them is that I watched. It was narrated by a woman. Okay. So hot. It's it's from her perspective, from her point of view. Oh my God. So sexy. Lots of interaction between her and her husband. Lots of eye contact, all that sort of stuff. Like it's hot. Guys, if you want to get your wife or girlfriend into this kind of thing, watch this together. I'm telling you.
But it's not just videos. They actually have guided masturbations. They have partner exercises to improve communication and intimacy. And they have candid interviews with sex educators, influencers and therapists. Like there's so much more than just porn videos. It's amazing. Definitely check it out. With the code Venus, you can try it out for a week. The website is xoafterglow.com and the code you need for your We'll see you next time.
amazing definitely check it out with the code venus you can try it out for a week the website is xoafterglow.com and the code you need for your free week is venus that's xoafterglow.com check out the show notes if you can't remember if you just want the link enjoy
