Swinging or Polyamory — Which Fits You?
Swinging and polyamory both fall under ethical non-monogamy, but they orient around different things. Couples who chase one when they really want the other tend to crash into surprises. This quiz surfaces which fits your actual desires.
When you imagine outside connections, you imagine:
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How would you feel if your partner wanted to spend a Tuesday evening with another partner?
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How do you feel about your partner saying "I love you" to someone else?
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Your time-allocation expectations:
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Your reaction to "metamour relationships":
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Scoring
For each answer, A = 3, B = 2, C = 1, D = 0. Lower scores point toward swinging; higher scores point toward polyamory. Both are valid ENM forms.
Your result
- 12-15 — Polyamory leaning. You want multiple ongoing romantic relationships, real time investment, and metamour comfort. That's polyamory — read the polyamory primer and explore the relationship-anarchy space. Local polyamory meetups will be more aligned with what you're looking for than the swinger-focused dating ecosystem.
- 8-11 — Mixed or polyswing. You're between the two. "Polyswinging" is the informal label for couples who run both modes — swinging at events, plus an ongoing emotional connection with one secondary, with the primary anchored to the marriage. Many established couples land here over time.
- 4-7 — Swinging leaning. You want sexual variety with the primary couple as the anchor. That's swinging in the classical sense. Lifestyle clubs, takeover events, and a profile on Swing.com are your most efficient on-ramps.
- 0-3 — Strict swinging — or not yet ENM. You want sexual variety only — no romance, no scheduled outside-time, no metamour relationships. Strict swinging is your form. Some couples at this end of the spectrum discover after some experience that they're actually monogamish-curious; that's also fine.