Metamour

A man in a stylish open-collar shirt leans over a woman in a white tank top, their hands entwined as

Also called: Meta

Your partner's other partner — someone with whom you share a partner but with whom you are not romantically or sexually involved yourself. The term is most common in polyamorous communities, where metamour relationships range from close friendship ("kitchen table poly") to deliberate non-contact ("parallel poly").

Metamour is a portmanteau of the Greek prefix meta- (alongside, beyond) and the French amour (love), and it fills a vocabulary gap that monogamous English never needed: a one-word label for the person your partner is sleeping with, who is not your partner. Wikipedia documents the term's quick spread through polyamorous communities and notes that the shared partner who connects two metamours is referred to as the "hinge."

The metamour relationship sits on a spectrum that the community has its own terminology for. Kitchen-table polyamory describes networks where metamours know each other well enough to share meals and casually co-exist; parallel polyamory describes networks where metamours intentionally do not interact; garden-party polyamory sits in between, with occasional friendly contact at gatherings but no day-to-day overlap. None of these is universally "correct" — the right configuration depends on the specific people and relationships involved.

In swinger contexts the term gets borrowed selectively. Most swinging encounters do not produce ongoing metamour relationships, because play partners stay play partners rather than developing into independent romantic dyads. Where metamour vocabulary becomes relevant is in poly-flexible couples, in long-running play partnerships that have evolved emotional weight, and in polycules where a primary couple maintains separate poly partners alongside their shared lifestyle play. The word is most useful when something other than the primary couple is treated as a real, ongoing relationship in its own right.

Sources: Wikipedia

Related Terms

Polyamory — The practice of maintaining multiple simultaneous romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Distinct from swinging in that polyamory emphasizes emotional and romantic bonds, not just sexual ones.
Kitchen Table Polyamory — A polyamorous style where everyone in the polycule — partners and metamours alike — is comfortable enough together to share a meal at the same table. The metaphor signals casual familiarity rather than scheduled isolation. Compare with "parallel polyamory", where metamours deliberately stay separate.
Polycule — The full relationship network connecting a polyamorous person's partners, partners-of-partners, and shared relationships. Often diagrammed as a graph with nodes for each person and edges for each relationship. Polycules can be small (a triad) or large (extended community networks).