Why do people swing?

To be pedantic, single people are by definition not swingers. How can you swap something you don't have?

Yes you are. I’ve stayed straight on the same path the whole way through, basically proving you’re one of those typical Cali liberals that thinks it’s your job to tell others how to live their lives. You keep getting painted into a corner and try to circle out. It’s ok, I knew we’d end up at this exact spot, always does with your type. No hard feelings, maybe just don’t be such a know it all busy body next time you don’t agree with somebody’s reason for being on a swinger site. Happy new year to ya!

We're going in circles.

Most, meaning more than half are happily married couples, not in my area. Tons of single males, lots of couples (who knows how happy they are, I’ve never taken a poll) and few single ladies.

“ There are also singles that are not really singles”

Curious what you mean by this? Who are these singles that are not singles? Could they be people looking for what they’re not getting at home? No way, you’ve already debunked that rumor, right?

Most swingers are happily married couples. I stand by what I said. Yes, there are singles that enjoy the dynamic of swinging and having sex with multiple partners. There are also singles that are not really singles and there are couples who are doing this for all the wrong reasons but most are happily married couples.

“ I'm not chastising her. She can do whatever she wants. You are making a big deal out of what I said.”

Well, you did chastise her, like you just admitted in the first paragraph here. You’re 100% right, she can do whatever she wants. Read the last sentence and then think about your reaction to doing whatever she wants, that’s why it’s a big deal.

Still wondering if you folded that hand about most swingers being happily married? You’re avoiding that statement you made like it’s covered in covid.

Seriously? Couples who are here to fix their relationship usually are full of drama. Men who are pushing their other half who are unsure... yep drama. "Single" men and women, potential drama if their other half find out. This isn't something that people who have been here for a while don't know. Newer people may not. That was all I was pointing out.

I'm not chastising her. She can do whatever she wants. You are making a big deal out of what I said.

Yes, her words, and good for her for making her lifestyle experience her own. No need to chastise her for it. Yup, you sure did. You said people that think that way are full of drama. Great thing about this country is people can live they way they choose. The way THEY choose, without somebody chastising them for it.

So I guess your folding those cards where you said most people that swing are happily married couples?

"I feel it makes up for what your not getting at home"

Her words, not mine. Most people are not here to find something they aren't getting at home. Are there exceptions? Of course.

“ She implied everyone who swings is here because they are missing something from their marriage; that isn't the case at all.”

You didn’t imply, you said most people that swing are happily married couples. That certainly isn’t the case at all.

"Couldn’t disagree more. Maybe most couples that swing are happily married, however, I’d also guess most single males on this site are here for the same reason you are."

She implied everyone who swings is here because they are missing something from their marriage; that isn't the case at all. A lot of "single" men aren't single at all. They are stepping out on their partner and they are looking for something they're not getting at home. There are many single women and men who are here because they enjoy the dynamic of sex with couples and multiple people. I may be wrong, but it seems MILF is very new and may not be familiar with the lifestyle in general based on this and another reply. She has her reasons to be here just like everyone else. I was simply pointing out that her assumption that all people were/are looking for something that is missing was inaccurate.

“ I'm not sure if you read the other replies, and if so you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but most people who swing are happily married couples.”

Couldn’t disagree more. Maybe most couples that swing are happily married, however, I’d also guess most single males on this site are here for the same reason you are. You do you DesirableMILF!

4_Real - "The better question would be "Why do people not swing?""

Ditto. If people are honest, "sex" will easily be one of the top 3 most fun activities that healthy adults can do. Once you realize that you can separate sex and love, you also realize there are more reasons to swing than not. Why not participate in a LS that allows both of you to enjoy more of an activity that just about everyone enjoys?

I think Travellers had this as their tag line, which describes it well, "Variety is the spice of life, and spice is plural for spouse".

"I feel it makes up for what your not getting at home.." - DesirableMILF

I'm not sure if you read the other replies, and if so you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but most people who swing are happily married couples. They are not here to get anything they are missing at home. Those who are, you'll spot immediately and IMO, should stay far away from because they are full of drama.

DESIRA.. not "us" we both love and enjoy sex always.. at home, away, and with our select friends !

4-5 times a week is 'our" norm!

I feel it makes up for what your not getting at home..

Because, our envy exceeds our jealousy... Lol.

+1 to who ever mentioned take back sex. Post swing sex is incredible.

When we stated dating, Young was a new adult without much experience. I had the serious relationships before him and knew what I wanted. These factors together meant this: I like having new partners, but the security of a stable relationship. He wanted more experience. Neither of us wanted to cheat, and I've found that the REASON for cheating is at least more important than the actual cheating. So here we are: screwing around and there's no reason to cheat.

Well said 4real.. along with "its just fun" and keeps us always smiling with our secret in the vanilla world of people !

We learned a long time ago its just sex vs love, the commitment we have for each other the trials and tribulations of life, work and the world in general. We have both seen good friends "cheat" and we have had long discussions why..usually boils down to "I cant see my wife or husband have sex with someone else".. then its usually followed up by them.. "you guys are just different and best of friends ..." Yes we are"!

The better question would be "Why do people not swing?"

Even with repeat playmates, it is the experience of doing the same thing, but different. Every person has a unique style. Adapting your style to their desires, and the unknown of where this is going leads to the fun. Every woman that I have played with is very different in many ways. I am a very sensory person. The aroma, or scent of a different lady turns me on. Her scent is different on her neck, than her cleavage, than her thighs. How she feels in my hands, her skin, her muscles. Her reaction to touch on her arms, her breast, her ass, her belly. It's different every time.

Watching my wife with her new lover as they explore each other is hot too. I can tell by her sounds, and responses that she is having a good time. When the 4 of us are in a pile, and 3 of us are pleasing a lady, to see her lost in her euphoria is just wonderful. You can't quite get that level of eroticism with 2 people.

To relive over and over the thrill of excitement the 1st time you are with someone new.
The look on her face ?? when she is orgasming.
The trust we have in each other to share.

I started swinging after my hubby of 19yrs passed sudden, I was 45 near the height of my libido. I was happily monogamous, but also understand how sex with the same person can become routine, stagnate, predictable and fades even if the love doesnt. It hurt so bad to loose him I never wanted to hurt that way again so swing was a way for me to satisfy my sexual needs without the emotional baggage.

I also feel humans are one of the fewest species on this planet that tries to mate for life and I feel that is a personal choice, love is love, sex is sex. Lets say your in a loving committed relationship and something happens where your other half can no longer have sex, do you feel the other half that can should be celibate, granted it maybe dont ask dont tell. We are all have the basic animal instincts warmth shelter food and sex.

When you were a teenager you thought when will I have sex for the first time. Now we swing because we don't know which time will be our last.

Some great responses indeed. There will always be people we find attractive and wish we could meet or even be intimate with and It is enjoyable meeting new people. New ideas, new experiences. It also adds variety to a person’s sexual life at home to prevent staleness.