@Young - I've said it before, but it definitely gives you another perspective when you're the one that has to deliver the "No thanks" message. We don't do it often, but find it sucks either way and we try to be as gentle as possible when we're the ones saying "No thanks". Especially in the scenario you mentioned where people were being nice on both sides.
We'd been chatting with a could who seemed ok, then met them at a party. They were nice, but the spark was missing, so I politely messaged that to them. It turns out there weren't sparks in either direction.
Regardless of why we don't think it's a match, our the other party isn't into us, we try to be considerate. It can be tough being on either side of the "No thanks" message
I look forward to a day when everyone would simply and simply accept "we changed our minds"
We have seen pictures in a profile of a couple that seemed compatible, but the wife looked like my wife's mother. We won't even consider getting together.
And it's why we won't play with younger couples who are in a similar age range to our son........we know many of his friends, and that is just too weird for us.
As for excuses, honesty and understanding by all is always the best.........things happen.
"that has happened to us where the woman reminded me of my mother AND the guy reminding the Mrs of her father."
Closer kin, deeper in, bro!
I don't get creative. I just say "I'm not feeling it".
Then later, the missus teases and mocks me "cause I ain't feelin' it". lol That's usually because the guy antsy, touchy and is drooling all over her, while his female half is like a knot on a log, yes/no conversation or staring into space.
~Allen
I think that's actually one of the times you can tell someone the reason why. I knew in my case it made me actually feel a bit better. The "you look like one of our parents" thing may be a harder pill to swallow, but that has happened to us where the woman reminded me of my mother AND the guy reminding the Mrs of her father.
They were very nice and we had a nice meal, drinks and conversation, but there was no amount of drinks where playing was going to happen. If you're in the LS long enough, either or both scernarios could happen.
For us, her period is/was a real issue. Her cycle was 26 or 33 days. Every 3 months it would go 33 days. So, we could tell pretty much when it would come. At least every 6 months, it would show up early. There must have been half a dozen times, she'd go pee once we arrived at a party, and she would come out of the bathroom with "that Look". All dressed up, and looking sad. She will not play with anyone if she is spotting. She feels dirty. The first few times it happened, I had to ask around for a "plug". I tried making it humorous by saying, "Hey, my wife wants to play electrician. She needs to install a plug" We now have some in our Go Bag.
Mayhem, we once met a couple that would have been a great fit. They were good looking, and we connected on a personal level. Her and I chatted, and I asked if it was a go. She said, no way. He looks too much like my son. The real killer was he had the same name as her son. I felt so bad telling him that there was no way she was going to fuck him. When I told him why he started laughing, and said, no way. She showed him a pic of her son, and he was like, oh shit that does look like me.
The baby sitter card is a popular one especially if it's a few hours after we were going to meet them, so is womans period showed up early, which it does happen. If it's just a meet and greet we offer to still have dinner to see if it's just an excuse or not. Usally never hear from those people again. Had a couple claim car broke down on the way which later we found out that wasn't true.
Young - Had that happen to me. Was a girl at one of the parties that really enjoyed gang bangs. She would fuck anything that was moving, and then some, twice even. I was talking with her before the first party I attended with her and she said she was sorry but she was going to have to play the friend card. I was dissappointed but respected her wishes.
Some time after that, the host of those parties told me why. He also thought it was odd that she would single me out like that and it turns out I look and sound just like her brother apparently. Actually made me feel better when I heard that.
I've gotten hit up by a couple SM who closely resembled family members.
I tried working through it once (before entering this LS). It didn't work because I felt creepy, so I just won't even try.
We were 30 mins into a 2 hour drive to see friends, when the power steering went on my car. We could have used that as an excuse, but we drove back and got the Mrs car and let our friends know we'd be an hour later than expected. Shit happens sometimes.
Had a couple come over and she got her period just before they came. Told them to come anyway. We had a nice dinner and I took her for a nice ride on my motorcycle while the Mrs and her hubby played. It doesn't bother me to play with a women that has her period but undersatnd that she can feel funny. No biggy. Again, shit happens.
We went to play with a couple and things were going well, then all of a sudden the other women says she's getting a migraine. Stopped play (as it should) and we left. Was talking to another couple we know and mentioned that (no names at this point) and they said the same thing happened to them and told us where. Sure enough, it was the same couple. She was only playing because she was afraid to lose him if she said no.
With the guy that drove from Georgia to Alabama, we would have probably showed and at least took him out to dinner (if we met SMs alone, which we don't). The point is, shit happens, but how one handles that will start to affect their succes (or not) in the LS. Probably litttle consolation to some, but karma can be a bitch.
SBM Be thankful it didn't happen when you were playing.
SBM4WHT while they should have told you their reason for bailing when it happened the fact is that is a very valid excuse. As women get older the predictability of the monthly cycle becomes less predictable. Sometimes it can skip a month and others well let's just say it can ruin your whole month. We are dealing with this right now and honestly it sucks. We have curtailed meeting with single males or really meeting with anyone for sex outside of a party or event we would attend anyway without the chance of having sex. That way when mother nature goes it's time (or continues long after it should be over) we have not made plans we have to cancel.
Couple cancelled on me after driving to Alabama and getting a room. Didn't hear from them til 2 weeks later. Her period came on the day we were suppose to meet
We had a couple pursue, send late night messages wanting to play. We agreed to meet them and the showed up 45 minutes late and sent a message from the parking lot!!! Now mind you we are social drinkers is all , they set time and are locals , they knew it would be busy. They wouldnt come in because they didn’t want to be around drunks lol and wanted to meet at like their house. Who does that????
I want to believe that the sinus infection is a real thing, but the guy has made no attempt to contact us since he cancelled on Friday, and hasn't responded to any messages we've sent. We've had to cancel dates ourselves, due to family issues, but the first thing I do in those cases is to apologize and try to reschedule. His silence, to me, speaks volumes.
Sinus infections (and other real illnesses) do come on you suddenly and unexpectedly. We like to give folks the benefit of the doubt when told something like that. She wanted to add in a perfect world it would be as easy as counting to 28 however especially as she has gotten older nature is a bit unpredictable. We doubt anyone would actually give that as a reason unless it was true however we don't feel it is a good reason to cancel a first meeting however a "play date" can just be postponed. All that said we would prefer a creative excuse to none at all. It really sucks when you are looking forward to meeting up and they simply cancel or end up a no show especially when they initiated contact. I think the worst excuse we ever got was "We decided to meet up with someone else naming them." Yes it happened and what was worse is we knew the other couple and they would have suggested we have a group party had it come up they had made other plans when asked to meet.
Best one was that it was raining and he was afraid his wife would slip and hurt herself if they ventured out.
Seriously.
We have only canceled or rather, said no thank you. (neither were set up dates) on 2 occasions when Aunt Flow came to visit.
One of them we made up for it and then some.
The other she wishes she had another shot at.
Actually-another time we had to cancel him a couple because my husband was in a horrible bike accident and broke his arm. That one is true too And he’s about three weeks away from being able take the brace off.
#1 Appendicitis surgery.
#2 had to work... ER um. Taking the kids to the county Fair ( even though it was raining)
#3 We couldn't find a babysitter 3 to 10 days from now. (Vacation hook up)
#4 my GF decided she no longer wants to be in the LS. From a 2 day old profile.
#5 I was in a horrible car accident. (we hear that one a lot)
#6 I wanna keep seeing you but my mom is making me date the boy she moved in our house. (It was a good 3 month run, hunny)
#7 A day before we were expecting a couple we played with from out of town... Were getting a divorce. (They did)
My craziest story is probably my own excuse.
I had to cancel on someone here once. She knows who she is and that my excuse was genuine. My husband's teenage son broke his cell phone. The kid lives in NJ with his batshit crazy mother who refused to get the kid a new phone, even if my husband Paypal-ed her the money. So my husband had to drive three hours to NJ, pick up the kid, go to the Verizon store, then drive all the way back to DC. There was no way he would have made it back in time for dinner or been in any condition to play after dealing with his crazy ex wife. Yes, he could have bought the phone over the internet, but making a teenager wait a week for a phone is in direct voloation of the UN Core International Human Rights Compact... Although actually I think he wsa just trying to be a good dad.
I'm not too worried. Me and this other lady will have the chance to bump vaginas one day.
I believe the sinus infection - they're miserable and they can have a rapid onset - and do not believe the overlooked surgery.
My favorite was the guy who texted me from the ferry and then excused his absence by saying he'd forgotten his phone at home. I don't much like leaving home, so it's always nice when people stupid themselves out of a meeting.
We had a "couple" who cancelled the day before our scheduled date because the wife was having elective surgery that day. We'd been chatting for a few weeks, and somehow it totally slipped their minds to mention this. However, the husband did offer to play alone with us. Nice try, single guy!
Apparently, someone's used the excuse that they had to wash their dog.
BT
It was not I...
