When should we disclose??

This is an interesting topic.

I would say there is no right or wrong. It is what makes you feel best.

As I do not want to speak on your behalf, if my wife were in the same boat, we would put it in our profile.

We know that we are already rejected for lots of reasons. We realize that we are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Because of that, we would want to weed out people at the very beginning. Some would say we would be considerate in telling upfront. We would agree with that, but also state we are being selfish. Our time is important to us. If the person is going to keep going and going and then reject us at the last minute, we would have wasted our time.

One scenario we had that was somewhat similar was a couple that was not really a couple. What you two are bringing to the table is something that is not the norm. This other couple that was not a couple, when they got in touch with us, they were honest. They stated upfront, we are married. We are just not married to each other. Both of us are married to someone who is paralyzed. Their spouses were wheelchair bound. They stated, one spouse knows and is ok and will voice verify, and wants his spouse to live life. The other spouse, really knows, but doesn't want to know.

We wound up meeting up with them. We never called the spouse to verify. Our thoughts were simple. If it was a scam, it was one hell of a scam. The level of detail was just to good in our eyes to be a scam.

We thanked them for being upfront and letting US make a choice.

Perhaps that is why I'd suggest mimicking their solution.

PS to above - Personally I can find girls attractive in many shapes and sizes, from 100 to 200 pounds. If your profile says 130 but you show up at 180, I will walk away simply due to be lied to. Not because I can't be attracted to 180 pounds, but I am damned turned off by deceit and lies.

I have no idea of course of your level of impairment (and I am sorry you have have that to deal with). I would assume however that purely visual attractiveness is fairly low on your acceptance criteria. I'm sure too big, too small, personalities of course, and other things that you can feel are important in your own priorities, but presumably not "beauty" in the classic sense. With that in mind, I would think there are probably many couples and singles who fall in the "less than pretty people" category that you might really connect with. That's purely a guess on my part, but I would suggest it is not a 100% negative to all potential partners.

Regardless of all that, my own thought is always be honest up front. Many people seem to be 39, 49, 59 or whatever for several years, and many knock off 5 or 10 pounds from the "advertised service". That's OK to me. You cannot however hide 20 pounds (or more). With rare exceptions, you cannot hide 10 years of living. Just be honest as they will find out soon enough if you do meet up. No sense wasting your time or theirs just to have them walk away from dishonesty.

I am in the tell before meeting camp as the very latest to divulge camp. I did just have a thought. Many profiles here speak to attractiveness(meaning visual) as a necessary part of attraction. If you feel comfortable saying Hey, I can't see you so we are easy there! Would be a hell of a chill and confident way to utilize your natural state of being. If I am off track there or you deem it insensitive, my apologies. I make fun of myself all the time and sincerely mean no ill will! Just thinking there is a silver lining to everything so....

Well I am going to chime in hereabout your responses to disclose or not to disclose that we are blind. I liked lcmim: idea to disclose and tie into a strength of ours . Blindness is a part of our being but it is not the whole of our parts. we do travel using Uber and are willing to travel to meet new people which speaks to our adventurous side. As mayhem8: said there is another visually impaired couple on this site who never travels. well that is a control thing and it speaks to them wanting to be aware of their environment. I understand that part but you can not always want to dictate the experience. I would want to meet some where in between so everyone is on even ground. I think being up front is a good idea being graceful in the delivery of the information is the key to disclose or not as unfortuneately people have their own preconceived ideas of people with differences. AsYmichael14" said people make opinions based on preconceived ideas. Like having a mole or your hair color or height. we want others to embrace us for ourselves so I would disclose our blindness but in a gentle way that compliments everything else about us.

The n in n and F

Your profile text does indicate that one or both of you is visually impaired - but given how well most people read profiles you might have to be more direct. ;-)

I would try to mention it early in the conversation - maybe not the first message but soon after. Possibly along the lines of "neither of us sees well enough to drive but we use Uber to get around" when suggesting a meeting place.

I would mention it.
Is the field you work in related somehow? If it is that would be a place to mention it.

It would also change it from being "dis abled" to being better abled for your task. Everyone has something. The best use that something as an advantage.

I think your profile is great just the way it is, but you should tell people you’re visually impaired before you meet. While it shouldn’t matter, to some folks it will, so mention it in your correspondence while you’re arranging the meeting and give the other couple a chance to politely back out. You could be avoiding a potentially awkward situation for all involved. Also, if you just “show up with your white canes”, your vision will instantly be the elephant in the room. Letting folks know ahead of time will allow everyone to focus on more important things like personality, sensuality, etc.

Frank we looked at your profile and think you look like very nice people. Our view iw if you both want to swing you are entitled to do so. If you lived closer we would certainly come visit you. Do not give up and yes do let people know you are visually impaired up front... Have a friend take a few nice photos and for God sake never give up. Mike and Janine

If possible place an image in one of the galleries, and let them discover. A visual impairment is one sense down. You have heighten sense on all others and heighten touch. Be yourselves and enjoy meeting with good people whom find you as you,
It is important people get to know you, I have encountered and played with numerous visually impaired and each has been very unique as a person and highly skilled in their senses and desires.

Unfortunately, some people will not want you because of your visual impairment.
They are probably not very nice people and you are better off anyway.
The last thing you want is for the others to find it when you meet, they will feel lied to or mislead or wonder what else you are hiding.
I think you need to disclose it in the profile. To me, it is the same as height, weight, age.
I do not have a problem with playing with someone who is visually impaired .
I do have a problem with them not telling me up front.
A lot of people look for perfection. Or, their view of perfection.
They will reject you because your profile has a selfie. Or you have a mole.
There is nothing you can do about it.

There is another couple on SLS in this area, as you are aware, in the same boat, but the difference is that they always wanted you to come to them. I totally understand why, but it can be a hard sell when you realize that you will ALWAYS have to go to them, or drive them back and forth if they are leaving their house.

From chatting, I know that you are much more willing to use Uber. That can make a big difference. In reading your profile, I'd be willing to bet that if you stuck it in that you are visually impaired and willing to use Uber to meet, the people that are interested in meeting you as you are will still be willing to do so. You sound like very nice folks and your profile shows you have adapted well to your disabilty.

Honestly though, your profile is long enough that it's likely that info will get lost in the shuffle. Especially if you put it in the last section. I do know that when we chatted you made it clear, so I know you're not trying to hide anything.

Look at it this way. Is it better that the people that care about this reach out and walk way after finding out, or having more hope that the people that do contact you know and don't care about your disability? It seems by not having it in your profile you can wind up getting your hopes up only to be let down more often than had that info apppeared in your profile.

Here is a question about disclosure. Both Nin a& I are visually impaired. At what point in the courting does everyone think we should disclose this? On one extreme one couple we met said it should be prominent in our profile. This doesn’t sound like a good idea since we want folks to like us for us and see past it the real “us”. On the other extreme some people say we shouldn’t disclose at all and just show up to the first date with our white canes and let the other couple figure it out. I think that feels like we are trying to deceive the other couple and we don’t want to do that. Maybe at some point in between? But when and how? Thanks
Frank