Your opinions please

PhoebertAndWife- thank you for your help.
I didn't like the new clothes photos either, but I needed something fast just to get an opinion on the clothes.
I will take better photos soon.

FWIW - I never REALLY thought you'd been decades without getting laid but the level of desperation in your initial profile text gave that impression.

Profile is much better now - good job on narrowing your initial interest while leaving options open to whatever fun presents itself. Just remember that concentrating on what others want will tend to get you what you want as well. When we have a threesome the guys do their best to send me into sensory overload but I'm concentrating on making each of them feel wonderful - in the end we all collapse in a puddle of sexual satisfaction if we've done it well.

I've never thought the hood up over the head was a good look on anyone over the age of about five. Other than that the clothes look to fit comfortably but not sloppy. But the photos in general are not so good. When you go outside to take additional photos see if you can find a few more natural poses - find that architecturally interesting building and casually lean against it, hug a tree, sit on a fence or bench. Some are doable with a tripod & timer; some might need a friend. You seem to have the smile figured out - that's half the battle.

Good luck, have fun and stay safe!

~Phoebert's Wife

PhoebertAndWife- thank you.
What did you think of the new photos with the new clothes?

You're missing the point every time you ask why it matters if your clothes fit while rock climbing.

The point is your choice of photos - you want photos that show you to your best advantage. That means a smile and clothes that fit.

Ok. Lets try again.
I changed the profile and got new clothes from a service that claims they are better at picking my clothes than I am.
I posted photos of the clothes. Let me know what you think. New pants, shoes, flannel shirt, hooded sweater and a shirt.
I can send back anything I do not like and get a different size or style.
Do you like these or should they be a smaller size or do you think they are too casual and need to be more dressy?
The only problem with the photos is ,I think my head looks weird. Like I photoshopped it on. Maybe it was the lighting . Next photos will be outdoors.
Thank you.

PhoebertAndWife - Thank you for the advice. It is very helpful.
Getting laid is easy, with one woman. It hasn't been decades. Threesomes are the problem.
As for my clothes not fitting, I'm not arguing and I just got some new clothes and new photos to see what everybody thinks, but I am surprised that well fitting clothes matter when I'm climbing rocks in the woods.

Actually it's not your taste in clothes that's a problem - it's that your clothes don't fit. There is a difference between comfortable and so large that they are sloppy.

For your public gallery you don't want a lot of repetition - pick the best photo from an event, don't include six head shots using the same pose. You are better off with fewer good photos than a multitude of poor ones. Velma's DEBauCH system has been ridiculed but it really does provide a framework for core photos - for single gentlemen I think it amounts to only three photos. Read ALL of her advice, not just the listing of core photos.

To minimize the desperate sounding "want to do anything & everything" maybe you should scale back a bit - concentrate on meeting couples for MFM (the order of the letters matters - in your profile you have MMF which implies male/male activity) or going to a club. Pick a few activities with greater possibility of happening so you can build upon your successes - find a Meet & Greet or make contact with Administrators for SLS Groups in your area to find parties.

You can also mention that the possibilities seem endless and you hope to expand your repetoire as you gain experience or whatever phrasing makes sense. As you gain experience you should update your profile - new photos, updated fantasies & experiences.

But the first time I read your profile I wondered how many decades it had been since you'd last gotten laid - hence labeling you as desperate.

If you really want to successfully explore swinging you have to be attractive to others - a seemingly desperate, sloppy dresser is not what most couples fantasize about.

Mayhem8 and AandJinNNJ- Got it. List what you want, "anything " sound desperate.
Thank you.
I just signed up for a service where a stylist picks my clothes for me, since nobody here likes my taste in clothes.
When the clothes are ready I will post photos to see if anybody likes what the stylist chose.
As soon as I find clothes people like, I can post more photos.

I'll take a shot here.....

Saying that you're particularly interested in joining a couple, group sex and orgies but are open to a world of other possibilities says that you're interested in everuthing in a way that doesn't sound as desperate as saying "give me anything".

Does that make sense?

"I really do want all 52 flavors "

What about any form of guy on guy play? That's one of the flavors. I know you list as straight, but so do a lot of other SMs that are open to bi play. If you'll put on a chicken suit and cluck while a couple fucks, I can see a guy thinking that you'll suck his cock too.

Not saying there's anything wrong with Bi play if you're OK with that, but if not, you do want to "list the flavors". There aren't so many things that you can't list them and that is better than just saying "Anything".

I know you're trying to understand things, but you can't always understand how someone else looks at things by looking through your eyes. That's why you ask for input. If/when that input doesn't make sense to you, you may have to take a leap of faith because you KNOW things aren't working for you using your current approach.

It's kind of like a vanilla guy asking me how I can let another man fuck my wife. The fact that he's asking that question already proves that he's incapable of understanding the answer. Nothing I say to that person is ever going to make him understand the fun that my wife and I have in the LS, just like you may not understand how some of the advice you're being given can help you.

goodgollymsmolly98226- I understand what you are saying about the photos, thank you for your advice.
I'm leaving the looking for age at 18 because I slept with an 19 year old when I was 40 and an 18 year old when I was 62. In both cases I didn't approach them, they came to me. The 18 year old set everything up and drove an hour out of her way . I didn't seduce them or get them drunk or pursue them .
Why would a woman want to sleep with a guy old enough to be her grandfather? I have no idea, I didnt ask.
I am not delusional, I am not going to contact an 18 year old unless she says she is looking for someone in my age range.

mayhem8- thank you for your advice.
But again, I'm confused on the desperation point.
I really do want all 52 flavors from the ice cream shop.
If a woman were to contact me and said she was into 10 different things and asked me which one would I like to do with her, I would choose all of them .
Are you saying that even though I want to do everything, I should only name a few?
Is there a way to say I have never done anything and would like to try everything, without sounding desperate?
Some day I might have a MMF threesome and a FFM threesome and decide that I do not like MMF threesomes and then my profile would say that im looking for FFM but not MMF. But until I do both I can't pick one.
As for better dressed photos, I am still working on those.

Ymichael14 - I have a little extra perspective on "desperate" being that I raised 3 girls. Relative to seeing my 3 girls interact with boys I can tell you that any hint of desperation will generally not bode well for you. They more wanted a guy that was like, "You be you and I'll be me, and if we can do that and have fun together, great. If not, no biggie and maybe we can still be friends".

In your mind, if a girl gushed over you you'd be ecstatic, where you doing that to girls would have many of them running in the other direction. It probably doesn't make sense to you, but that's why girls are "complicated" to many guys ;-)

The most important sections of your profile are the first 2 and you have little to nothing useful in them. You're Looking For section is like going to an ice cream place with 52 flavors and someone asks what you want and you say "Yes". It's not helpful. If you like 3 flavors best, ask for 3 flavors, but don't just say "Anything".

Hint about the Description section. It's not about what you look like. That's what the pictures and toggles (height/weight) are for. It's about all of the things the pictures can't always show. They do show that you like to walk in the woods. In fact, that's all they show. Still, that and other things you like to do belong in the Description section.

Similar to what GGMM said, "Looking For" talks about what you want in/from others and "Description" is what you have to offer them. So knowing that, go back and read your Description section and ask yourself if you what you put there shows an offer of anything of interest. You think that "I'll do anything" is of interest, but few if any girls want a needy/desperate guy.

As for the clothing discussion, unless ALL you want to do is find someone to walk in the woods with you, you need to show that if you were to meet for a date, what that might look like. Other than that, pick the best 1 or 2 of the pictures you have and get rid of the rest. They are not helping you unless you find a girl that REALLy likes to walk in the woods with an obviously desperate guy, based on your current profile.

and once again always an excuse for what and why from all who give solid advice.. but good luck, enjoy and happy new year!

We are done playing this one...

As for the comment about the generic profile advice post, the question asks what am I looking for and I said "Anything, really.
Meeting, watching others have sex, threesome. Etc".
That is what I am looking for.
I don't understand why people have a problem with this.
Do you want to pick one thing?

Not much other people say to you makes much sense to you, but that's not because people aren't giving you sensible advice.

Wear well fitting clothes and a pleasant expression in the photos you post to your profile, whether you're climbing rocks or not. I'm not sure anyone will comment favorably on the change, but if people aren't interested, it won't be because you're wearing ill fitting clothes and have unwelcoming expressions on your face.

Goodgollymsmolly- wearing well fitting clothes while climbing on rocks in the woods makes no sense to me. But I will take your advice and try it.
If anyone contacts me and mentions how great I looked in those photos on my profile, I will come back here and admit you were right.

"Maybe I'm stupid, but I do not understand needing good fitting clothes while climbing on rocks in the woods."

Nobody cares what you wear trotting around in the woods. But in your profile, you're trying to appeal to people, so when you photograph yourself trotting around in the woods for that profile, wear good fitting clothes that aren't wrinkled. This isn't particularly complicated.

Ronkathy- I'm only talking about the photos that are posted now.
I intend to post more photos as soon as possible.
No, I do not have any recent photos of me having fun.
I can accept you not being interested in me because not having any recent photos of me means I'm a boring couch potato .
But if I could meet someone who didn't mind that I didn't have recent photos then we could do fun things together and take photos.
I'm not trying to please everyone.
I see obvious couch potatoes in amateur threesome porn all the time. The only two women I met in my life that were into threesomes were couch potatoes that didn't have fun photos.
I would rather find those types than change for the types that are not interested in me.

Goodgollymsmolly- there is a difference between arguing and not understanding your point.
Maybe I'm stupid, but I do not understand needing good fitting clothes while climbing on rocks in the woods. Fashion models wear fine clothes while shoveling manure in clothing catalogs. Nobody believes that is real. Are you saying everybody wants fake people? I can go to a professional photographer and be photographed in all sorts of fake scenes, wearing all sorts of costumes, if that is what people want to see.
Again, maybe I'm stupid,, but I do not understand the desperate comment. I'm trying to get started in something new, I thought this is what people did when they started in something new. They started at the bottom until they become known.
I took out the photo because someone said I looked a lot younger in it.
That comment I understood and I removed the photo.

Guess it gets back to the same old thing with life and ones resume and experience.. if one has to explain it.... that in itself speaks volumes ! Seems the guys and couples we do play with frequently just get it

As far as photos .. sorry once again not buying it... dress up and have a neighbor friend..take some in the home,, are you saying over the last couple years you dont have any FUN photos, dress photos, etc etc.. , sounds like the last guy we met who admitted he was a couch potato and only works and goes home.. for "us" BORING!

So if thats you then be you ... but you see how far that gets you right! Seems like this has been going on now for months.

"I'm not trying to argue..."

Followed by you arguing. Like I said, I expected this to be a pointless exercise, but let me be really blunt: Your current approach does not work. So, either live with the results as is or change. Up to you.

I really do appreciate all of you taking the time to give your opinions.
I'm not trying to argue, but there are a few things I do not understand.
Desperate. When you do something new, like sell a new product, you are desperate for sales and will offer dicounts and free trials to get noticed. I don't see how that is any different from what I am doing with my profile.
some people only want one thing. Just a single woman to join a couple, for example. I dont see how me saying that I am interested in anything, is desperate.
I can give you the chicken suit, though .
As for well fitting clothes, I'm in the woods, climbing on rocks. Do people really expect me to look like a phony fashion model?

Hi. Based on some of your forum posts, my working assumption is that your profile is a decent reflection of your current approach to the life you want. Which means anything I say is going to be of limited value and likely a waste of time for both of us. However, I'm going to try.

So, first, your photos need to be revamped. There is no need for multiple photos clearly taken the same day, especially not when most of them highlight your far too serious expression or your disinterest in wearing clothes that fit. In addition, the one indoor photo seems to be of a rather younger man than the others. Nice clothes would be great, but unwrinkled clothes that fit, however casual they might be, are even more important.

In your desired age bracket, please move the lower age up from 18. If nothing else, it's a signal that you're not delusional about your appeal to teenagers; doing so will not discourage a single adolescent from contacting you, so there's no reason not to make the change.

Your tagline should be short and, ideally, clever, but sincere without sounding needy is acceptable.

Looking For is primarily about who you're looking for and only secondarily about why. Please think and write about these other folks in a way that demonstrates that they have value over and above any usefulness to you.

Description is about who you are. So, the cemetery thing - me too, btw, although I'm looking for the stories that are told on headstones - belongs but using words about your body when photos do a better job does not. There is only one you. You are unique and you need to find a way to indicate that by briefly talking about who you are, the things you like to do (it can provide a point of connection, the way our shared appreciation for old cemeteries does here), etc. It shouldn't be much longer than Looking For.

Fantasies and Additional comments as they stand now is one gigantic red flag of desperation and neediness and you'd be well served by tossing almost all of it out and starting over. In some profiles the chicken suit thing would be hilarious, but here it is in that uncomfortable place between tragedy and farce and no one would willingly take on a stranger with that little insight in how things sound to others.

Some things are useful. That you're comfortable with NSA and FWB sex, have been turned on by hearing regular partners talk about or show you videos of the sex they were having with others, the stuff that belongs in Description, that you're particularly interested in threesomes.

So, shit can most of it and write the rest of it as if you see yourself as a man with something to offer the right couple or woman.

What goes in Fantasies should be obvious, but Additional comments isn't as clear. That's where you end on a high note. I'll leave it to you to figure out what that is.

So, please rewrite your profile in such a way that you actually incorporate what you've gotten in responses and what you've seen in other threads in this section. Please don't keep toggling between sad sack and entitlement, because it's a horrid combination and unlikely to lead anywhere useful.

Happy to help once you've made some changes, but you do need to do a fair amount of work and some of it needs to involve a fair amount of self reflection.

Good luck.

When did you read any advice and apply it? I read your profile a few weeks ago and it appears the same.

And Mayhem is being kind when he says it reeks of desperation.

Just because you like sex doesn't make you a swinger. It doesn't matter if a guy is married or single - it takes a special mindset to be a swinger and I'm not sure you have it.