That's true, it's hard to be objective about your own profile. I'm constantly tweaking ours based on observations I make while looking at others' profiles. In fact, I'm pretty sure a lot of us who offer advice here put our own profiles up for review not that long ago for just that reason.
It's hard to be objective about your own profile and you don't always realize how people interpret what you wrote.
Most everyone that offers advice has been through the process and we truly want you to succeed.
Please let us know when your updated profile has been approved and we'll be happy to provide additional assistance.
Thanks for the update. If you’d like tips on the writing process, just let us know. We’re glad to help!
Thanks everyone for the input! I went and re-read our profile like some said we don’t sound like fun and sounds negative. Thought it sounded good when we wrote it!! I like the picture pointers!! Really positive feedback! Thanks for your honesty and saying you don’t like our profile...looks like we will be re-vamping our info! Thanks again you guys
Mrs.
Thank you everyone for the feedback.
We will rework everything and start taking new photos.
Thank you.
Yeah, that was quite the photo. I think it played a part in one of my dreams last night. Something about incendiaries on a beach.
Okay, now I have more time. I too think you should pretty much scrap what you have and start over. Below are some pointers:
Taglines that are short and funny are best, sincere is okay too.
Looking For is meant to be about others, not about you. Like, yes, it is about who and what you're looking for, but this section is the one that is centered around those other people. And, again, avoid negativity. So, it would be some sort of welcoming statement about primarily looking for fun couples and possible interest in singles, but you'll contact them. Then because you do want to build a circle of friends, say something about being interested in friends with benefits, leaving out the direct discussion of things like needing trust, as that's implicit in the idea of friendship.
Description is about you. Who are you? The part about being semi-fit is fine, but the rest of what you currently have adds nothing to the general conversation of an introduction. Don't confuse your private conversations with profile-worthy material. This is the equivalent of a resume, with the job being sex with others. Would you apply for a job by talking about the things that would get in the way or your reservations about the company? Because that's what you're doing now and it will work about as well as doing that in a job interview.
Instead, concentrate on who you are as a couple. What are your vanilla pursuits? What sort of people are you? If you have spiky edges, it's fine to let a hint of that show, but your job here is really to be your charming selves.
Fantasies is where you put your sexual experiences and a bit about your fantasies. It's one of the places where others can potentially see a place for themselves. And that's why weaseling out with the whole 'we'll talk about it in person' is a strategic error that wins you no friends.
Additional comments is a good place to put that you enjoy (please note the lack of CAPITAL LETTERS) house parties, etc. Find a way to end the section with something charming and real. Please light that stupid warning you have there now on fire (perhaps with whatever the guy in the photo Velma talked about used to obscure his junk). It's based on an internet legend and leaving it off will not increase your chances of someone using your photos.
Anyway, I hope you make a lot of changes and then come back for a review. Good luck!
No, we were using a different website to slope at couples in Florida.
One guy covered his nudity with cartoon flames coming out of his dick and I thought:
You should see a doctor about that.
OP: You’ve heard from a good enough sample of the regulars to get started on changes. My advice is to rewrite from scratch and shoot it back to us for a second look once that’s done.
Sing it! “this dick is on fiiiiiirrrreeee”
Was that from HotRod’s profile?
At least you don’t have a picture of your penis on fire...
So far, the feedback has been helpful and your constructive criticism is being heard and taken into consideration.
Please, continue.
And we were typing at the same time - once again!
Again with the disclaimer - it is all about your profile and not you personally. If I was searching for a couple and read your profile my first thought would be "these people are no fun" and my second thought would be to go on to someone else. I get the impression that you've had a bad experience and are trying to control all future situations. Unfortunately all the negativity just pushes away the very people you most want to attract.
Kill the warning at the end - it is useless and marks you as gullible. We're all busy and many have other family members to schedule around so don't make such big deal about it. Try to rephrase things in a positive manner if you can't just leave out the negative thoughts.
Looking For should be more about who you're looking for and less about you. Description should include more vanilla interests than sexy - this is where we get an idea of the type of people you are. Fantasies/Experiences is where you should concentrate your sexy information - what you've done and really enjoyed and what you'd still like to try.
Multiples of the same picture is even worse than just multiples of the same pose. Find a less distracting way of obscuring your faces and use Velma's system for core pictures in your public gallery. A face shot when you've obscured your entire face is practically worthless - use full body shots, nicely dressed.
Hopefully MsMolly will be by with specifics (she's good at that) - I've gotta run to an appointment.
Good luck and have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
Hi. I'm glad Catchy gave you the disclaimer. It goes for everyone here, because this is the home of heartfelt, well meant and exceedingly blunt advice that is meant to show how choices in your profile get in the way of your goals. I'm mentioning this again because the process can feel really uncomfortable, especially if the person commenting doesn't like your profile. And I really, really don't like your profile.
It's an off-putting mess of negativity that completely belies your tagline self description and if I wasn't reviewing it for you, I'd have closed it at the end of the second paragraph.
I get that you've had bad experiences, but do you know what will reduce those bad experiences? Better vetting on your part. What won't do it is a profile full of negatively phrased fence building, because the people you're trying to keep out won't recognize themselves. Because, you know, empathy and self awareness aren't exactly built into the folks who will do the shit you're trying to avoid. But they're going to be the majority of people who aren't completely turned off by your profile, so instead of solving your problem, you're exacerbating it.
I'll get to specifics a little later, but wanted to give you ample time to get used to the idea that you're either creating or making worse the situations you're trying to avoid.
And Velma chimed in while I was composing. <wave>
Welcome! First, a disclaimer: What we're going to say isn't about you, it's about your profile. Our collective goal is to help you achieve your goals, but to get there we're going to say things that might sting a little (or a lot). Think of it as medicine...it may be difficult to swallow but ultimately it will make things better.
I generally speak to the feel or flow of a profile, while others get into specifics about pictures and text. As far as the feel goes: Whoever wrote this makes the two of you come across super uptight. All the caps and the negativity are a big turn-off. It also contradicts the tagline of "fun and spontaneous".
Lose the caps. You've got so many it feels like you're shouting. If you need to emphasize something with caps, make it positive, only use it when critical and limit it to one or two uses tops through the profile. In our profile, for example, we have one word capitalized ("FAR") and it should come across as emphasizing we are very welcoming to all races. By limiting the emphasis you improve its impact and maintain the welcoming feel of the profile overall.
Find a positive way to spin your preferences. The bit about safety is a perfect example: You don't need to explain that. All it does is fuel the "negative + uptight = drama" feel I get from your profile. You can find a positive spin on the same subject (same room play) in our profile.
Here's another real-life example on how to spin preferences: We find folks who say "we only play within our race" to be a bad match for us. How do we communicate that? By being clear we're very welcoming to people regardless of race. We don't say it in a negative way, but we make our point in a positive manner.
As far as pictures go, search through the threads and find one that Velma posted in describing the DEBauCH method. Get rid of all of the pics you have, because they don't say anything about you except you like to edit pictures. Take new pictures, post them and come back.
I opened a private gallery for you to show you the kind of pictures you should have.
Your current pictures... well I often say that you should never have more than one of the same picture. When you go on Amazon and you are looking at a laptop, you like to see all angles, right? You want to see the front and back and sides.
If there was a laptop and it 6 pictures all of the front of the screen, how likely would you be to buy it?
So delete 2 of the face pictures. Take some full body pictures using my DEBauCH method that I show in my private gallery.
Then repost.
Hello world,
Just came across this option and thought it could be helpful for our profile.
Any insight would be helpful from the wording, rearranging of paragraphs, and profile pictures (as in what people find interesting).
Thank you in advance for your help.
