“ Ultimately, in this lifestyle you either play the long game or you take advantage of a sudden opportunity that occurs in person at a party or something.” - ChipandTaylor
The simplest, yet “bestest” advice that every newbie SM should heed.
BT
...says 6 months
Thanks Ed & Britney - I just spewed wine across my computer after your last comment!
You do know that now there will single guys complaining they can't find where to sign up for SLS Prime - right?
“This is not Amazon”
Maybe he thought he signed up for SLS Prime so he could get pussy in 2 Days or less.
“This is not Amazon”
“ You're a dime a dozen.”
But......
But......
Dammit Jim........ (Dr. Bones to Captain Kirk on Star Trek voice)
Give the man his two day shipping!
~Allen
The others are accurate about single males in one respect. You're a dime a dozen. Single males are a novelty, so when you get 128379172389123 messages from them a day, the only ones that get attention are the ones that stand out. The vast majority of couples are looking for either other couples or single females. You can see it in a lot of profiles every day, there's usually a line in there that resembles this, "Single men, we will reach out to you if we are interested".
I do disagree with the others on the aspect of pictures. Showing things you do in your everyday life increases chances of identification. Most people do not wish to be identified unless it is done in person. However, a ridiculous amount of selfies speaks to serious vanity issues. That said, if you want to take quality pictures, they make super cheap remote camera triggers and tripods for phones.
Ultimately, in this lifestyle you either play the long game or you take advantage of a sudden opportunity that occurs in person at a party or something.
We have found that our most successful threesomes are with swingers that just happen to be currently single. There is a big difference in attitude between them and single guys that are here just looking for easy sex.
It has been suggested that a 10-20% response rate (including "no thanks" replies) is doing extremely well on SLS - a lot of people just don't respond for a multitude of reasons. And if your profile and pictures aren't so good then that percentage goes down.
You have several things that are contributing to your frustration. You joined at the worst possible time of year for people to engage with new playmates, let alone try to squeeze a meeting or two into the holiday schedule. You're a member of the largest group on SLS (single guys) looking for the smallest groups (single ladies or couples looking for single guys). Your pictures are all selfies and your profile isn't great - so you don't make a great first impression. And you seem to have an unreasonable expectation about how easy this will be. Hell, we're retired and it often takes a month or more for us to be able to exchange a few messages and get a first meeting scheduled.
If you want help with your profile then read a bunch of existing reviews and/or request your own review. But definitely delete the stupid warning!
~Phoebert's Wife
mightgoodman, you probably didn't expect to get scorched for your post and I'm kinda sorry about that, but also not. Every day single guys create profiles on some swinger dating site and then are baffled and sort of annoyed that women aren't jumping on their dicks. Sometimes they decide it's because people are fakes, sometimes it's some other untrue analysis, when it's really a combination of demographics and approach.
Velma is right. Unless you have some overwhelming reason for being drawn specifically to swinging, you're much better off on a conventional dating app, because the odds are better. Like, sure, a lot of women here have multiple partners over the course of the year, but you're unlikely to be one of them unless you stand out in some positive way. It's not enough to just be a nice guy or whatever.
Anyway, good luck. If you want help fixing your profile, say so, because that will help some.
Okay, so let's break it down.
I think a lot of guys enter the lifestyle because they want sex, but have failed in the dating arena. They think that a lot of us girls are such whores that we will fuck anything.
He's the problem: I WAS a whore. I met my husband later in life and I fucked literally hundreds of guys in the hotel bars around DC and maybe 4-5 girls before I got married. Hell, I once dated a guy I didn't like because he had a really nice apartment and a sink that was perfect... but that's another story. It wasn't really a self-esteem thing. My self esteem was fine, I was just an easy cummer, so I could just go doggy style, roll the mental highlight reel and it really didn't matter if the guy fucking me was ugly or boring or married or old.
Once I got married, my standards changed. I married a really amazing guy who buys me shit and somehow puts up with all of my crazy. Back when I was single, I probably had sex with a new guy every two weeks, so we're looking at 26 guys a year. This year, I had sex with 8 men and 3 women. So I'm a lot more picky.
So remember, you aren't just competing with every other single male out there, you are also competing with our husbands.
Now let's go back to what I said before: guys who have failed in the dating scene often gravitate toward swinging and have even worse results. If you are unsuccessful in conventional dating, you will not be successful here. You're an attractive guy. If you want us to review your profile, we can do that, but I would suggest a conventional dating app first.
This is not Amazon, so the shopping model doesn't work, plus you're a single guy, which means you're a member of the largest group and you need to stand out in some way, which you don't.
In addition, you became a member in December, a month when many people are distracted by the holidays. Plus, based on your tagline, you believe you're entitled to attention, which never goes over well.
It all adds up to something that gets this advice from me: You probably won't be particularly successful, but you can increase your odds by fixing your profile (it's not great), putting your clothes on and having someone else take your photos, and approaching this with the understanding that you're one of many pursuing the few.
Seems like people are fake in here ? Hardly any responses and very little to pick from for what I want
