It is more honest to set the toggles for the highest level of interest in soft swap and just a tiny bit of interest in full swap.
And then have lots of communication with each other and with potential playmates about your limits and when you're willing to push the boundaries.
Problem with "many swingers" we will not even look or meet soft swap couples as we are here to swing all the way with intercourse.. .. several times after a meet we have no problem saying sorry we are not a match or in some cases kicked someone out of our bed for being a jerk..way to many picture collectors , Cert for breathing collectors, voyeurs, perverts and not real swingers on SLS from "our experience".
For "us" communication is the key and we are not here for games many adults play.. yes we are a match or not we get it no hard feelings both ways!
After being here for a good number of years, wife and I have met ( and sometimes played ) with couples who stated they were " soft-swing only. " No swap. No FINAL swap. Except - when the playtime sessions got underway in private, they were a lot looser, more activity-inclusive than they alluded to. As in, anything and everything goes. I asked one of the couples we became long-term friends with and as I suspected " They listed themselves as soft-swing only. But they knew if they played with a full-service couple - and they felt SAFE with that couple ( like US ) they could exercise the option. " And not run into any serious objections.
If they DIDN'T feel good about taking it to that step ? Well, that's already laid out - and they don't have to make any excuses for "Not going there. " They can simply state that it was spur-of-the-moment inspiration. Even pretend to ask permission. Or say they discussed it before we got together and decided if it was OK with us, it would be ok with us. And, it got them away from feeling they had to do a repeat performance.
