Single guy unlucky

Lejeune1976Swinger294

Please review my comments to the OP of this thread below. Pics of you sitting around and looking like that in each??? You've got to up your game. You have what Mrs HW and I call...zero profile....it seems pretty much fake to us if we open it. That's not good. You need to think about and then author some thoughtful, informative and interesting information about yourself. You do have a validation and that is a huge advantage.....now work on your profile and pics. Your profile simply appears to be just a boiler plate, BS profile that you probably used in order to join the site. It's not going to work in the lifestyle. I approve profiles every day here and see the same crap in most of them. Many appear to have just come over from Craigslist with that same attitude. The lifestyle is very different. You need to put forth great effort in all facets of your preparedness if you plan to be successful here.

Mr HW

OP...Total honesty here...

1 You're 5'7" and 222 lbs...try becoming active, get in the gym, shape up.

2 Do you believe that the pics you have posted show you at your BEST? They all seem to be the same pic, sitting around somewhere or slouching with your hands in your pockets in a cartoon shirt or casual wear. Try to make yourself just as you would want somebody to see you. Try to look your best. Maybe a pic or two of you doing something active and fun...SMILE....try a pic dressed very sharply, nice clothes, tie, jacket etc.

3 Try to find something interesting to post in the intro line...and then in your profile. Proper grammar and spelling as well as clever writing is a big plus...makes you seem interesting.

4 Find an event or two and attend. When you attend events or hot dates then people get to know you and can verify that you are real. That is huge.

Don't mean to be harsh but I evaluate profiles on a daily basis for approval. One thing I see constantly is profiles that are just the same as every other profile and really have nothing of value in them. I am pretty certain that those members will be disappointed and blame the site for their lack of success. In your favor...you actually post pics...that is a huge benefit for a single male in the lifestyle. It is very difficult to be a SM in the lifestyle so you must get out and meet people where you can have fun and show others that you are fun to be around.

For whatever it's worth....good luck.

Mr HW

Yeah, once Lady and I began using our single's accounts I wanted to see if I could think of profile names that would make it obvious that all three of the accounts belonged together.

Though it required starting with new accounts and losing the history, I am happier with the new names.

It's all good...

One thing I have noticed is that you will get more views from posting in the forum. I know because I got a lot more views from people way too far away to do anything about. Not sure that does anyone any good, but it certainly doesn't hurt either. I'm always flattered when people check us out multiple times.

The thing I kind of don't get is when you do get checked out multiple times and you reach out to see if they want to meet, but it doesn't go anywhere. You'd think someone checking you out (sometimes multiple times daily) would actually want to meet, but who knows.

Hey...at least you got mail. Lol

If the profile avatar is greyed out it means that the profile has been deleted altogether. The post will remain, but the profile is gone.

Generally, an AA couple means African American.

I know, right. Lolol

But seriously, we never really know why anyone looks at our profile...not really. I'm just glad they drop by from time to time. It might be tomorrow or it might be a year or so from now, but eventually the right one will see something that catches their interest and it could lead to an adventure.

And Lady and I both are all about adventures. Our time on earth is far too short to miss out on too many of those opportunities.

Rest easy there, kind sir. I find them quite lovely in close proximity. Utility over pure aesthetics, you know? ;-)

I do have a friend who will shop for me. He's so straight I could use him as a plumb line, but he has some fairly rigorous criteria and I imagine some he might contact would be taken aback by his questions. But that is probably intentional.

@Pepper, I think that is just fine. What MsMolly said is really true too.

Another SM might well browse profiles at times to consider potential candidates for female friends.

"I would not only tolerate dinner with you, I'd buy it for you! ;-)"

You're a doll....that's what you are. You know just what to say to make a Tramp's Heart skip a beat.

And just at the right time too.

I was down in the dumps after you crushed my boyhood notions with the revelation that our dicks weren't purdy...and now this.

I'm feeling all good again! B^D

Lol @ Pepper.

But don't you worry bout ole Tramp. I doubt very seriously that you would ever offend me...even on purpose. I just don't take myself seriously enough for that.

You are welcome to check out profiles and/or write Ms Lady Mam or I any time you please. We'll never be offended...unless of course you send a dick pic. (which I know you wouldn't). And even if you did, I wouldn't get mad. I'd just forward it to Lady or MsMolly and then set down a few kind words for the get well soon card. ;^D

I would not only tolerate dinner with you, I'd buy it for you! ;-)

I can think of a lot of reasons for single men not to block other men, but the chief one is to ensure that when men are hunting for other men for their women friends, you don't get left out. Unless that's of no interest, of course.

My friend Pepper.

Why in the world would I go ballistic? Lol (I just noticed that)

I've been around the waters for a long time, but I've never understood why men get so nervous that another guy has seen their profile. Well, actually I do understand why, but I digress.

There are a lot of reasons other than the one so many men seem to fear. Maybe it was just by accident. Maybe they were just looking for ideas and to see what other males were doing with their profiles. Maybe they were browsing for photo ideas. And, and, and just maybe they saw something that they thought a lady friend of theirs might be interested in.

The list goes on, but men are entirely too insecure where that's concerned in my view. Hell, even if it's...God forbid...a bi male looking for himself, just be flattered and say no thanks if asked, right?

I've got entirely too much work ahead of me trying to spot the one in a thousand ladies who might tolerate a dinner with me to worry myself by taking the time to stroke the feathers of homophobes. Lmao

NNJCT, no...can't see yours.

@Peppers, I show the minimal interest in couples and SMS on my SM profile for the sole purpose of not blocking them by default as that's what happens now when the no interest setting is selected.

Even though I only use my SM profile to look for females (single or playing solo) and/or posting to in the forums, I don't want to block the other groups.

I explain that under the additional info of my profile, but I still get a little ribbing from time to time...but I don't mind.

I wished the site would go back to the way it used to be where that's concerned, but it doesn't appear that they will. I'll just leave my settings where they are because I want anyone to be able to contact me. Whether it's a forum friend or otherwise.

I guess the other profile being visible is just a glitch like NNJ mentioned that some are visible to him even though no interest is shown.

No, I can't see Sorillo's. And I had tried changing my preference/privacy settings as well but to no avail. The two seem tied together still. So I'm wondering if the other guy's situation is just a glitch.

That's...a very good question. I wonder if SLS, without mentioning the fact (because why would they, given that it's actually useful information), has gone back to differentiating between no interest and blocked? Can you see sorillo's profile?

@sorillo, I was trying to find non-inflammatory language to describe someone who didn't navigate the written word well, not from carelessness but from so other cause. So, English as a second language, a learning disability, whatever.

I've got a curiosity question that a little off topic, but related.

After Sorillo's comment, I clicked on the guy's profile and was able to see it...even though he shows no interest in SMS.

I can't do that on my SM profile. If I show no interest in a group it automatically hides/blocks my profile from that group.

How can I see his when he shows no interest in my group?

I don't think it's a case of not having any talent at writing as much as not bothering to put in any effort. I mean, it almost certainly took longer to upload the photos than to compose those three short sentences. I wanted to be as gentle as possible with my first comment, but I have a tough time being kind when no effort is put out.

Hi Lejeune1976. Yeahhh. Incoming. Sorry. Really.

You're a good looking man, so you have that going for you, but if it wasn't for your profile name, I'd think English wasn't your first language. It's a complete shitshow. And, unfortunately, I get the feeling that even if all the elves around here were willing to help, once you got to the emailing stage the same problem would crop up, because this isn't carelessness. Writing just doesn't seem to be one of your talents.

Since being online means you have to do a fair amount of writing, you are not playing to your strengths. However, if you have good manners and the ability to carry on a conversation, women you actually meet are going to eat you up with a spoon. So maybe give up on online and find clubs and parties that allow single men.

If after that you still want help with your profile, add some content (tell us about yourself, for one thing) and start a new thread in Better Profiles and I'll do what I can.

First, you'll get a better response if you start your own thread.

As to your profile, you have three short sentences. Effectively, you don't HAVE a profile. It says practically nothing about you, and it looks like you put no effort into it whatsoever. Anyone reading it is going to assume that you'll put in a similar amount of effort into any encounter.

You have a 3 day weekend coming up. Take an afternoon, a WHOLE AFTERNOON to work on your profile. At minimum. Read a bunch of the advice given to others here in the forums, and adapt it for your own use. Once you have something for folks to actually evaluate, then come back and ask us to take a look. The advice given here is often (usually) blunt, and is sometimes painful, but it's necessary and as it happens, it's virtually always heartfelt. The fora folks here really DO want to see you succeed, but that means that you'll need to actually read the advice, grow a thick skin and work from there.

Good luck.

Having no luck with being a single Male could anyone look at my profile and tell me what wrong

privateice and others just wanted to say took to heart what was said for this individuals profile and making some updates of my own cause of it.

Please don't play in traffic, the kink is being reworded.

Thank you.

I'll say it is your photos.... makes you look like a teenager wearing that T-Shirt. If you want people that are into Comic Books, etc then keep that photo but realize that most people will find it unappealing. Also if someone was into comic books... would they be interested in a 37 y/o guy? Not saying Comic books are bad just realize it is limiting your potential pool of people.

If you are into Kink and want your relationship to have Kink then put that in your profile. If Kink is optional then just state that in the your profile and remove all over Kink references.... most here are definitely not looking for Kink.

Fet, ALT, CollarSpace, etc are better places to look for Kink

I somewhat disagree with swingers and the kink aspect not meshing. I've been in the lifestyle about 8 years now and I've seen a good bit of swingers involved in kink. Heavy BDSM, sub/dom and a few furries. *I have no experience in the kink group so I'm only speaking of what I know about in the lifestyle.
I agree that when mentioning a kink/fetish, it need to be very carefully worded. "something that interest me in the right situation for those who are looking but I enjoy a wide variety of sexual aspects and respect all boundaries" or something along those lines. I've found that one thing that rarely works for me is a dominant/submissive personality. I don't see this as a kink but simply a personality traits that most can't leave at the door.