Review please

Thanks Molly.

Made some edits and they are pending sls approval.

I do not think the small gods of SLS want me to review your profile. I've had spontaneous resets twice and an accidental posting once. But I'm going to persist. But if you end up thinking what I've written is stale, that would be why.

I'm having a bit of a problem in that I'm inclined to be harsh with your perfectly fine profile because I don't think it reaches the level of your forum posts. That feels unfair, to use a different metric than I would for others. So have a spoonful of salt handy.

In Looking For, I think the first paragraph would benefit if you used "couples" and "loving" just once. Sometimes repetition is your friend, but not here. Also, you've toggled an openness to single women, so I'd suggest tacking on something about them at the end of your final paragraph.

In Description, I think it would help to move your third paragraph to first place. That "very much a giver ladies" is a tone shift that doesn't work for me - it feels a little like a 50s television show line, but if you insist on keeping it, a comma goes in front of "ladies."

I'm never a fan of using words for things that are much better handled with photos, but I think it works here.

In Fantasies, you can totally get rid of the UPDATED date. The timing is implicit in the text. Also, you're missing an us in front of "rookies." And it's probably better as, "Yes, we are both..."

In Additional comments, you have used the phrase "reach out" and the word "open" too many times. Once is enough. You might want to vary your sentence structure but at the very least use different words for variety.

You've probably seen me object to the request for a polite response more than once so I'll spare you.

Otherwise, I like what you've done with the place. Now, crossing my fingers that posting happens...

Thanks everyone for the advice so far. We've made some changes to the text. The pics will take a little longer.

Omitting all the references to not using IM will dramatically reduce your profile text - which is good. That much repetition really isn't effective and often annoys those that actually read your profile.

Rather than request that singles not contact you perhaps you could mention that you now occasionally enjoy threesomes but prefer to make first contact with single men and women. The singles that don't read will still contact you (since they haven't seen the request). Your Looking For text emphasizes couples so that phrasing also indicates that threesomes are not your primary focus - but does so in a gracious fashion.

The overall impression I get is too much information about how or why you do certain things. I think some of the explanations should be deleted - keep that information between the two of you for use when evaluating potential playmates.

I'd like to see something a bit more creative than posing in front of a blank wall for showing off your body (and it's hard to get the lighting right). Maybe take pictures of each other at a pool or at the beach - Velma often recommends contacting a local hotel and see if they have a day rate so you can enjoy their pool if you have no other options. And you definitely need a nicely dressed, full length picture of the two of you - get a waitress to take a few next time you go out for a nice dinner. My default picture advice is smile (even if you obscure your face), watch out for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies.

Good luck!

~Phoebert's Wife

Thanks Velma. We will take a look at your pics when we're together and let you know if we have any questions.

I opened a private gallery for you to show you the kinds of pictures you should have.

Honestly-your profile isn’t bad. I think you could use a little tweaking.

I would take one picture dress nicely like you’re going out to dinner. I would also get rid of all four pictures of the lady - it’s not because she is an attractive, it’s the way she standing.

Look at my photo guide and see how I S-Curve. Take a few pics like that in a sexy outfit. More importantly, wear heels. They pump your ass up and straighten your posture.

IM does not work well for us here. If you want to say hi please send us the bird.

You should probably take out this line. You have a few lines about IM l. Take them out since it’s required now.

He is your typical mid 40s husband.

Take this out. My husband is amazing. Why would I go to typical if I have amazing?

If you need help with the pictures let me know.

Everyone here helped us get set up about a year ago when we were total newbies. Now that the new car smell has worn off and we've decided that we're here for good we'd appreciate another review.

Our profile is meant to convey a couple next door type looking for open play with bi/bi curious couples. It should also make clear that bi play is an option but not the main course for us.

We're also cautiously opening ourselves to mfm,mmf 3 some with respectful guys.

Let us know how successful we've been.