Requesting a profile critique

Yooooo Philly Style to you two happy looking Boca long hairs. With your salt and pepper facial hair and the attractive lady with her award winning smile and beautiful brown hair your two look like a cute couple. It’s 23 days after your post and I circled back wondering if you’re up for a few more suggestions to improve your profile?

First - “contrapposto” write it down, google it, thank velmaandshaggy. Read GGMM’s post 30 times, do 10 push-ups then read her post again; this builds muscles for no reason and strengthens your narrative with every reason she’s written - all great stuff.

I’m hoping for some clarifications on a few sentences, seeing a couple sentences you might want to rephrase or delete, and longing for some more fun details about you guys.

"definitely not opposed to very casual connections either” What’s that mean? It tells me you don’t care, one way or the other, if you have sex, or you're not opposed to a NSA (No Strings Attached) connection; which one?. Spell it out so there’s no question about it, like <we enjoy NSA (No Strings Attached) casual connections and FWB (Friends With Benefits).>

Music, concerts, and "dive bars" pop-out at me but nothing else tell’s me how much fun you two are. Add in a narrative list of things you each like to do that other couples can relate to doing with you, like < We gravitate to live music and we like connecting with other lifestyle couples at concerts, bars with bands, and taking mini-vacations to out of town shows and music festivals.>

Let your pictures do your talking. Your girl has an infectious smile and delicious boobs that jump out of the screen at you. Saying "She is curvy” isn’t giving her a complement you're telling us “your description" and not giving her a compliment. I’d remove our “curvy" and insert a different word after “She is” similar to <gorgeous, stunning, radiant, exquisite, captivating, adorable, bubbling, alluring, confident> and add back in the rest of your sentence <and very sexually adventurous after she warms up.> yummy

I’m sure your serious about lots of things, like your family, jobs and physical health so your phrase “...don't take life too seriously” should be revised to reflect your real personal values, like <we value our family, jobs and health and when we try to take ourselves too seriously we end up laughing>. You can also value your John Deer, new iPhone and <not take yourself too seriously.>

I feel you should delete your phrase “...equally as comfortable in a dive bar.” I’m equally comfortable writing from the bathroom in the morning but I’m not telling you I’m there. Talk about that stuff later when you’re on your 3rd or 4th date when you know if you’re with another dive bar couple, or not.

In high-valuable real estate like "Additional Comments” it’s counterproductive - IMO - to fill your section with braggadocio about single men when you have single men blocked from viewing your profile. Give couples and women who can read your profile some “additional" positive facts, like < roleplaying, alien fantasies are something we’re good at and clothing sex, food play, and wrestling, are activities we’ve tried and will try again>

I hope you view all my suggestions through the positive lens of thoughtfully helping you find more sex with other other nice couples like yourselves.

Thank you both for the very helpful replies. Being blunt and straight to the point is exactly the advice I was hoping for.

I've updated our profile (and will continue to do so), and will work on getting some new pictures up soon.

So I guess I'm the photo expert.

My husband and I take new photos - usually every week - and we take literally hundreds of pictures just to find one good one.

I think my first thought is that you live in Boca and you don't have any pictures of you at the beach. Why not?

I like the idea of some of your pictures - you look happy and in love. But they need to be tightened up a bit. Remember that this is a resume. The whole purpose of a profile is to give an idea of what you might look like when you show up and meet a couple. Right now, the nicest picture you have is by the Tesla.

It's okay to have a few pictures of you in casual clothes. But take a few dressed up like you are going to a nice dinner or church. I want to know what you are going to look like when you show up for a date. She looks great in the red shirt. Keep that. Keep the Tesla pic. Throw everything else in the trash.

Now this is going to take a little work.

I want you to google "Rule of thirds" and "contrapposto." The Greeks knew their shit. Why do their statues look so amazing? They knew the rule of thirds and contrapposto. If you look at our pictures, most of them taken by us use this rule. When posing, try one of the Greek statue poses.

I think you should take a few pictures on the beach. I really like beach pictures because I think they can me classy and show some skin at the same time.

So take a few new pictures, repost and let's go from there.

Hi and welcome. I'm probably going to sound mean to you. I apologize and I promise that my only aim is to help you improve your profile and increase your chances of finding the kind of playmates you're looking for. But the advice is blunt.

So, I think you have several problems with your profile. The first is that it's uninteresting. The second is that it does not do a good job of positioning you as potential playmates. The final problem is that your photos could use some work. So you basically have the trifecta of how not to entice people.

The thing is that you're probably an awesome couple, but it's going to take some work to display that here on SLS.

From the top, you need a new tagline. I mean, yes, you are searching for playmates, but so is almost everyone with an active profile. If you can think of a funny one, use it. If not, something that isn't a well, duh! would be an improvement. Think about it as if it's a hook to draw people's attention rather than is merely informational.

In Looking For, this is a section that needs a little pizazz. I don't know how you'll get that, but it needs to be your brand of oomph added. One thing that will help is to remove the sentence that starts, "Initially..." That's another one of those things like your tagline, an of course moment that just puts a drag on the proceedings. If you mean you're willing to play on the first meeting, say that. And instead of starting a sentence with "Ideally," use stronger words like, oh, "What we would really like is..." Plus I noticed you've mentioned you're looking for single women but give them short shrift in your ideal world. Maybe add more about that? Finally, phrases like "sexually charged encounters" and "bedroom encounters" are not a great substitute for "wild monkey sex" or whatever. And you really shouldn't use the same word twice in the same section if you can avoid it.

In Description, I like that you describe yourselves as a fun couple. That's great and I believe you, but see no evidence of it. What kind of music do you like? Do you dance like crazy people or sit and listen? You don't have to say, but indicate something about your experience of live music. (Oh, and before I forget, it's dining, not dinning.) Maybe use more emphatic language here too, perhaps by finding substitutes for "comfortable" and "gravitate," which are perfectly serviceable words but which lack liveliness.

Lose the part about her being shy. It's enough that you indicate she takes some time to warm up. The rest is fine and just needs a better lead in paragraph or two.

In Fantasies, I think you need to start with "We have enjoyed MFM..." Oh, and if he's straight, it's definitely MFM rather than MMF, which means something quite different. And once you've moved that first line to the end of that paragraph, remove the part about her being openly bi (it's in your toggles) and figure out how to get rid of a milky word like "enjoyed" in favor of a more active verb. After that, if you want to say she loves playing with women, or whatever is the case, the end is where you would do that.

Additional comments is kind of a wasteland. You have single men blocked, so they won't be reading this, and it's a negative ending. You might want to think about what else you want to put here and if you want to end on a slightly zingy note, this would be a fine place to say that sometimes she wants a single man and knows how to go about finding them. Which is kind of what is already there, just dressed up a bit.

Your photos I'll mostly leave to others, but one of the photos of her is unflattering and I don't see one single smile on his face. That's not very enticing. So you're going to need new ones.

Good luck!

Hello,

We have been on SLS a few times with very limited success in the past. Would anybody here be able to offer any advice with our profile? Any constructive criticism is be welcomed.