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Thanks cacpl, I deleted the post here and cut/pasted it into the proper thread.

Wrong couple Mayhem ;)

It looks like where your quotes are, you copied what Velma suggested. That's fine, but they don't belong. So remove the quotes.

My other thing is, I know your age isn't accurate. I remember you had your ages as 55 not long ago. In a previous post you said you had a vasectomy "38 years ago" but that would've made you 17 at the time. Now with your age at 60, that made you 22.

I know people fudge their age all the time. They typically do that because they feel they look and act younger or other people swear they look 10 years younger. In reality, they don't look as young as they think and people are being nice. Looking at your photos, IMO, you don't look 60.

If you're content with 60, then keep it. But keep in mind people could be passing based on that.

I have deleted a great deal of the things you all have suggested. Thanks for the input

It looks like you may have done some updates as I do not see "bareback" mentioned as was noted from an earlier comment. Though I don't expect any of the things I'm going to mention being a big thing, it doesn't hurt to fix them.

The Description section is where you really want to put your interests other than sex. Currently that's in the Fantasies/Experience section. You also seem to use double quotes in lots of places they're not needed. If you can, cut/paste the whole thing into something like MS Word that will put out the punctuation and other grammer errors.

I think that the Fantasy part may be TMI. It's probably sufficient to say you enjoy role play and let others ask what that specifically means to you.

There is no perfect profile. Something that one couple likes can be a turn off for another. The best you can hope for is one that appeals to the largest possible audience that you think you will you click with.

For example, mentioning bareback play may be limiting either way. There are people that will not engage you if you don't use condoms, and others that won't if you require them. If you absolutely won't play with people that require them, then it doesn't matter if you mention them. What's the point in contact if there's a deal breaker to start with?

In your profile there are a few things that can cause you problems:

Are you all bi or not? The way you have it written is that possibly both of you may or may not play bi. People absolutely despise wandering hands, lips, and other parts. Too many of us have been victimized by them. I am not convinced that one wouldn't be in danger the way things are written.

Do you all play in separate rooms only? That's what it sounds like and that is an automatic "no" for the majority of couples. It's fine that you all play that way. Just don't expect many good responses.

As mentioned, playing bareback puts you all in the biohazard category for many couples. Consider getting tested and then letting others know that you have been and then play safe. If the male half can't get it up with protection or something of that nature then don't expect many positive replies.

Thelma is dead on with what your expectations should be. The old LS phrase is, "Look like who you want to play with because you will play with who you look like." Too many people get torn up over being rejected by the people they fantasize about and do nothing to make themselves appealing to them. They wine and complain about people being judgmental and never bother to be honest with themselves. If you have a target then work hard to look like them as much as possible. There are all shapes and sizes in the LS. Just be realistic about who you will be able to connect with.

One more thing:

Remember how I said that swinging was about fantasy? I'm a size 12. I'm not everyone's cup of tea and I recognize that. I can't compete with some guy's smokin' hot size 2 wife.

But... I figured out my niche. I can be cute. I can be that curvy teacher you always fantasized about fucking when you were in school who turns out to be very, very dirty. I will also do shit that most wives don't do... if you know what I mean.

It doesn't work on everyone, but I think this is where "personality" comes in. Personality won't turn a 4 into a 10, but it can turn a 4 into a 7 or 8. And that might be all you need.

So, if I had just thrown up a couple of pictures in bad poses and had a bunch of text with me complaining in my profile... I'm you can see how that would turn some couples off and lead to fewer successful outcomes.

But instead, I show good, curated pictures. I maintain a positive attitude, and I talk about all the dirty shit most wives won't do.

So keep this in mind when rewriting.

Hello swinging couples do not be shy, we area sweet fun couple interested in meeting and playing with other lifestyle couples.

Change to:
"Hello swinging couples! Don't be shy! We are a sweet, fun couple interested in meeting and playing with other lifestyle couples."

bareback

OH FUCK NO! If you want to play Russian roulette with your dick, knock yourself out. But I'm ejecting. I will not play with a bareback couple. This is probably holding you back. If there is one thing that I don't want it's to deal with a couple who is pressuring me to have sex without a condom. So it's just easier to reject you and move on.

Send us a bird

Delete this. There is no more bird. It makes you look like you don't keep your profile updated.

Friendship as well as physical relationships, are two of the most important aspects of the lifestyle.

Punctuation matters. Change to:
"Friendship, as well as physical relationships, are two of the most important aspects of the lifestyle."

Many people overlook personality, and opt for just for physical attraction. Take the time and examine people for all that they are. You will find >>that there are many more great couples than you thought.

Because like I said, swinging is about fantasy. I don't want to fuck a guy for his personality. Personality is important, don't get me wrong, but physical attraction is paramount. I would delete this. It makes you sound like you have no confidence and your frustrations are appearing in your profile. People like what they like. Use this section to describe who you are - your hobbies and what you like in the lifetsyle.

but we enjoy meet ing

but we enjoy meeting

Oh and if you do not look like your photos you may have to buy the drinks until you do.

Take it out. It implies that you have had bad experience.

We do not drink much though... lol

Take it out. When I see someone talk about not drinking I think they might have had a problem. And never, ever say "LOL" in a profile. It's super beta.

So, anyway. One final thing. Copy and paste your profile into Microsoft Word or Google Docs and edit it there. That should take care of the spelling and grammar problems.

Have someone take some new pictures according to my method and repost so we can review again. Good luck!

I'm going to say some things that are not so nice. This isn't personal. I'm just saying what most people are thinking.

I also opened a private gallery for you to show you the kinds of pictures that you should have.

Ok... To start, I mentioned this a few days ago because I had a swinging epiphany as to why I felt so ambivalent about not being able to swing during COVID. Swinging is about fantasy. Are you anyone's fantasy? Think about that. With the way you look, your pictures and your profile, are you fulfilling someone's fantasy?

If the male half wants to look like Col. Sanders, that's fine, but there aren't a lot of women out there who have that as a fantasy.

So, looking at the two couples who certed you... kutekpl looks exactly like you - overweight guy with a grey goatee. Ditto Sdavid5458 - overweight guy with a grey moustache.

So basically, if you are satisfied with couples like this... then do nothing. But the reason you guys aren't getting more interest is that the only kind of couples who are going to fuck you are couples who look exactly like you.

Now, look. I'm not saying that I'm some kind of swinging goddess. I'm never going to be a size 2, so I always have an uphill climb when I reach out to couples. We've been rejected plenty of times - mainly because I'm not some other guy's fantasy. But, the big difference is that I make an effort, I know how to pose, and my husband hasn't let himself go.

I'm only going to say this once: You will do better if the male half shaves and loses some weight. This may not be an option for the male half, and my objective here isn't to hurt your feelings, but it is the biggest thing that is holding you back. That being said, let's worry about the stuff we can work on...

Let's concentrate on your pictures:

Picture #1 is good when it comes to composition. I'd keep that, although you should look at my private gallery and see how to pose. The lady half should cross her legs, the male half should stand up straight.

Picture #2 is HORRIBLE. Never, ever stand like this. Kill it. Look at my private gallery on how to stand.

Picture #3 is exactly how you should NOT take selfies. Don't take selfies from a low angle. If gives you a double chin. KILL IT.

Picture #4 is basically picture #1 but... a picture of a picture on SLS? What the fuck? It makes you look like you don't know how to use a computer. KILL IT.

Picture #5 - again a bad selfie from below. Never take the same picture twice. KILL IT.

Picture 6 - kill it. It's an unflattering angle.

Picture 7 - Keep it for now, but replace it in a few weeks when you can get new ones. It isn't bad, but again, goatee. Very few people take good pictures sitting down. Stand up next time.

Picture 8 - Keep it.

Picture 9 - Kill it. That is not a flattering angle.

Picture 10 - kill it. Blurry and not a flattering angle. Don't take pictures from below.

Picture 11 - Keep it.

Picture 12 - Kill it. This looks like a cabin where you murder people. Don't take pictures in lighting like this. If this is your bedroom, get a hotel and take pictures there.

I'll talk about your text in my next post.

We have written deleted and rewritten so many times. We have deleted and added new photos. The results are very poor at best. We are at our wits end trying to figure out what couples want. If we actually are the type of people that couples are looking for. Maybe most couples on here are not real. Are they looking for "Ken and Barbie?" We seem to attract older couples which is not all bad, but we would like to play with couples our own age, more variety, how about couples that contact us first? We seem to put out endless feelers trying to connect. Any thoughts????