Your profile is still only available to couples - "no interest but profile viewable" doesn't work as advertised so you have to show at least a tiny bit of interest in a group for them to see your profile. You probably won't be inundated with messages if you show minimal interest in single ladies and gentlemen for a short period of time while getting advice.
I hope you've read other reviews and are prepared - the default tone for reviews is generally blunt and seemingly mean. Mostly we just don't have the time to be wishy-washy about your profile. But we want you to succeed or we wouldn't bother - so remember this is all about your profile and not you personally.
To me your profile sounds like you've written it for a public speaking engagement. Description and Fantasies/Experience may be in sentence form but read like a bullet-point list. Other than those few sentences almost everything else makes me think "well duh, doesn't everybody want that?" so the most obviously universal wants could be deleted. I'm kind of torn about the witty asides and self-deprecating humor - it does show off your personality but I think it doesn't come across as well in written form as it would verbally. And I always wonder when the age preference aren't changed from the default.
Hopefully you'll open your profile to single ladies and MsMolly will swing back around - she is much better with specific advice than I am. The writing style of the first and last section are more appealing to me than the lists in the middle (that looks too much like a Power Point presentation from work).
Your pictures might have been OK if the lighting was better but dark clothing in poor lighting really doesn't make for a good photo. Keep the better of the non-selfie ones until you can replace it. Velma's DEBauCH system works really well for core photos in your public gallery. In general - smile (even if you obscure your faces), watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies.
Good luck and have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
