Profile review please

You're going to have to work a lot harder here to find people than you will in person - success online has very little to do with luck. You can't do anything about your age (probably your biggest issue) so you'll have to work even harder. Velma probably has the right idea - go out, do interesting things and you'll probably meet a lot of ladies in your preferred age range. If that really doesn't work or if you really are a swinger (not just a single guy that thinks swingers are easy) then stick around and expect to work hard. You have to put a lot of effort into a well written profile with good pictures and carefully read other profiles before reaching out with an individualized initial message. And then expect that 80% or more will not respond.

Velma usually recommends three pictures for single guys - all full body: dressed how you would show up for a first meeting, doing something fun and a beach or pool photo if you want to show off your body. I always add - smile, watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background (what is that dark thing sticking out from your hip?) and avoid selfies. Definitely stop with the sideways peace sign/gang sign/whatever the hell you're doing with your hands in your pictures - it's distracting.

Your toggles indicate a bit of interest in couples but your text seems to ignore them. If you only have that toggle open so we can see you for reviews then don't forget to change it when you're done here - otherwise mention couples in Looking For and maybe again in Fantasies. Once you find someone what sort of encounters do you hope for - NSA sex, one-time encounters, FWB, on-going relationships? Add that info to Looking For. A little more substance is necessary in Description. Are you the life of the party, dancing until closing? Do you sit on the sidelines telling everyone fantastic stories? Will you join us at a wine or beer tasting? Would you rather go to the theater or stream Netflix at home? Save the sexy bits for Fantasies/Experience - although once the grammar is cleaned up what you have there isn't too bad. Finish what you start - so figure out something positive to end with in Add'l Comments.

And when you are all done - run your text through a spell check and grammar check! Don't try to do this on your phone - it is too easy to miss things when you can't see the big picture.

Let us know when your revised profile is approved if you'd like additional advice.

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

You should keep in mind there are very few single women on here looking for relationships, and your profile makes it sound like that's what you want. If you want to be the inexperienced youngster looking for a woman to teach you, that could work. Just keep in mind your role is fulfilling fantasies.

Hi. It sounds like you're prepared for the process, but just in case...I come in peace. We all do, with benign intent, but also doing our best to channel whatever negative reactions someone's profile is engendering.

So, I don't hate your profile, but I do think it's unnecessarily muddled and sloppier than it should be. I'll leave the photos to Velma, but whatever causes you to do hand signals in photos is an impulse that should be repressed. And, as she's made clear, watch the backgrounds.

Your tagline could actually be moved to Additional comments, once you turn it into a complete sentence and remove the "just." Instead, go for something that is catchy rather than informative. You want to at least mildly interest someone enough that they open your profile instead of something that causes a head nod and a move to the next profile.

In Looking For, you have some syntax issues. It's "I'm looking for a woman...I know) comma, who has an interest... Mature women preferred, maybe with a few experiences in the lifestyle." Leave out the part about pointers. It might be true, but your age is already a disadvantage and you don't want it to also seem like even more work will be required. Also, watch your spacing between words.

In Description, we can see that you're very slim, so you needn't mention it. The rest is okay, but it's also not particularly inviting if that's all you're going to put in this section. Instead, say more about yourself. It doesn't have to bare your soul or anything, but try for something that evokes the man you are.

Fantasies isn't bad, but it starts with a typo, you're missing some punctuation and it should be more charming than it is. Maybe take your one idiosyncratic phrase - "love a girl that likes a rope" and make it a complete sentence. Lose the part about oral being a love of yours (we kind of expect it, you know, so it's just taking up space here, when you can charm someone in person with your feelings about it much more effectively). And maybe make that last sentence simpler. Something like "Voyeurism is a fantasy I want to explore with an exciting woman." Sometimes declarative sentences are more effective than other choices and I think this is one of those times.

Additional comments shouldn't be left blank - would you leave other things unfinished? - but I really do think your current tagline belongs here. Whatever you choose, end on a high note.

Finally, there just aren't a ton of single women 37 and under online on swinger sites, although you might get lucky and find one or a married woman playing separately. However, you might get luckier at clubs and parties.

Good luck. Make changes and come back for a review or several reviews.

One more thing.

Dude, where did you take that default picture? Were you in your little sister's room or do you actually sleep on a flower comforter and own a pink dresser?

Come on, man? Do you even own your own place? Can you afford a hotel? You are not coming to my place and I'm certainly not going to your parent's house.

I'm not being mean, really I'm not, but I'm saying what most women are thinking. Too many things just don't add up and while I'm sure you are a nice guy, I'm not going to fuck a guy who's very best picture is one he took in his little sister's room.

Step up your game. Be amazing.

In a nutshell, your profile is boring and doesn't stand out at all.

You put zero effort into your profile. If you put that little effort into it, how much effort will you put into me?

Here's my suggestion: Set off SLS and go be more interesting.

In order to be a ladies' man, you need to be a man's man first. Your homework assignment is to go have adventures. Learn how to build a fire, fly a plane, read a book a week. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, or with a political campaign.

Go do something and make yourself interesting. Then, if you don't find a girl doing that stuff, then come back here.

This is a standard advice that I give to all single men. I'll get to specific advice in a minute.

A lot of guys come on here after striking out trying to find sex through online dating, thinking that it will be constant fuckfest party and standards will be lower.  The fact of the matter is that if you don't have any luck online dating, you won't have any luck here.

I don't open my profile to single men anymore because of what I call the Dicknado.  

Imagine that you stop at Target for a few things. You leave the store and it's raining outside, but you have to get to your car, so you run through the rain.  
Now imagine that every raindrop is a dick.

That's what it's like being a girl here.  It's a constant stream of dicks.  You really need to be special to stand out.

Does your profile stand out?  I am not going to lower my standards for you.  Think about it.  Are you a low value man (LVM) or a high value man (HVM).
A man needs three pictures.  A pictures have to be taken my somebody else and need to be full body.  You need a picture of yourself dressed nicely like you are about to go on a date.  You need a picture of you doing something athletic and interesting like running a 5K or rock climbing and you need a picture of you shirtless at the beach.  To me, a HVM knows how to dress.  He's physically fit.  He travels for work and pleasure.  He has pictures of himself shirtless at the beach.  He's the kind of guy who can afford to take me to Miami for the weekend.  Smile in your pictures!  Years ago, OK Cupid came out with a fake study that men who didn't smile in their pictures got more interest than men who smiled.  This has been infecting the online dating world ever since.  SMILE!

If all you have are selfies I'm going to assume that you have no friends or are too timid to ask somebody to take your pictures.  If you say "I can't afford to fly to Miami to take a few pictures at the beach right now" then why would I fuck you?  

If you thought you were going to roll in here and get invited to a few parties because the women here are whores, you are in for a big surprise.  My standards are way higher here than when I was single.

Make the picture changes, think about whether you are a HVM or an LVM and good luck.

I'm a single male and I haven't had any luck meeting someone yet. Not sure if my profile is crap or if it's just me getting unlucky. So be harsh and real with your review! Thanks ahead of time