Profile review please!

Thanks so much to the lovely and honest responses. I'll take everything into account when I get a chance in front of my computer to update our profile. I needed to hear the fact that we truly have to sell ourselves. Not just our sexiness but our personalities as well. It really is kind of like dating and potential friends need to a reason for that first meet! At first I wanted to shy away from creating a "dating" profile but I think it will be much easier to write now! My fingers look forward to stroking that keyboard!!!

Hello to the folks from the state of 11,000 inland lakes. I see you’ve made changes - bravo, you two look sweet.

Going to your profile and giving you two blinks of my eyes, the top and the bottom of your profile are visually appealing with the exception of “Fantasies and/or Real experiences. My eyes are drawn there to the scrawniest sentence where the first thing I read is, "Would love to meet and discuss over drinks” It's a turn off to non-drinkers and SLS members who write more. It's also a non starter. I mean, what if your fantasies suck? Or what if they're over the top crazy? From a safety perspective, I'd like to know more before I hear it face to face.

From my earlier view, you’ve moved the picture of your beautiful tatas out of your public pics; nice move. They were lusciously delicious, but a bit too much too soon in your introduction…a little mystery is alluring.

I’m in total agreement with everything said by everyone so far and a few are worthy of reinforcing since they can still be seen. Phrases like "clean and drug free," "drama free,” "secure in their relationship,” and "like minded individuals" are meaningless words. If you want, write me back with explanations of why they’re so important and use those explanations in your profile to replace that nothingness - you'll see improvement.

And, when you’re writing back, please explain if "She especially likes to be stretched” and "She has curves for days…” are complements. I’m not reading them that way.

While I especially like your white stripe/black dress picture, your profile lacks any residual content that would keep me thinking about you two after I click-away from your page. That makes me the third author to comment on the lack of personal information and fun details in your profile.

Without any personal information to go on, your one scrawny sentence in Fantasies and/or Real Experiences "Would love to meet and discuss over drinks.” turns you into a big no; no idea who we're meeting, no idea what's on your mind, and no idea if we'd end up on the rack being stretched after drinks and dessert - we’d say no and pass you by.

Reading about your interests, hobbies, past times, activities, would have a different effect. We’d remember if you told us what you don’t wear under your black dress with strips. And others might remember your fire-guy's fuck-me red suspenders if you told us how he does it doggie style wearing only his suspenders…we'd remember that. Nice to read you, yummy black dress with white stripes, and I hope this helps.

First off, I didn't see anything that was an out-right turn-off, but there is always room for improvement,

There are a lot of words that don't need to be there, and not enough of them for things that should. For example, with all of those pictures there isn't a need for your physical description. That's what the pictures are for. "She is Bi curious..." and "He is 100% straight" are redundant with your toggles and the former is actually more of a Description than a Looking For statement. The statement about her "likes" sound like more of a Looking For section thing as well.

You say you "Live to meet new people...", but then what? Is it one and done, sex only, may enjoy vanilla things like XXXXX with? As others have mentioned, there isn't anything about other interests. We KNOW you're here for sex, but other interests help you connect with people, unless you're just looking for NSA sex. That's OK too, but you should say that if that's the case.

Also, by listing other interests or things specific to you, it helps you tell if someone even bothered to read your profile. That tends to say a lot about the people that may be reaching out to you.

It's the "Fantasies and EXPERIENCES" section, and you really said nothing about either. The first sentence in the Additional Comments section belongs in the prior section. The fantasies can be generic such as, "Would love to try...." and add any that apply (i.e. FMF, MFM, Group, House parties, etc.), but is again another potential way to connect with people.

Basically, each section asks a question (i.e. Looking For?) and a good profile has words to answer that question. Though I can point out cases where certain things fit better in other sections, it is something that people can do for themselves once they know to look at it this way ;-)

I see you made some changes.

I have some time now, because I can't sleep and I'm still on east-coast time.

Make the full-body picture of you two as the couple the default picture. So make picture 6 picture number 1 and default and make picture 7 picture number 2.

Ok, full disclosure, I'm between a size 10 and a size 12, depending on the dressmaker. You and I aren't that different when it comes to weight. So what I'm saying isn't supposed to be mean, it's just suggestions that I've figured out over the past few years.

Please, please, please get rid of the nude and the fishnet dress picture. Those two pictures are not flattering. I'm also going to suggest a trick.

When you pose, don't keep your arm tucked into the side, this smushes your fat against your body and makes your arms look huge. Instead, pop your arm out a little and put your hand on your hip, like you are doing the chicken dance. This will pull your arm fat away from your body. Even if someone takes a picture from the side, just point your elbow out a little and you will see a big difference. Take a few test pictures in the mirror. If you are still not getting what I'm saying, go on youtube and look up "How to reduce the size of your arms in photos" by Mandy Lynn. She's a bit of an idiot, but it shows how to do what I'm suggesting.

I think you have something I would kill for - nice legs. Here's an idea - Dress up sexy with some garters, or even just wear that black dress that you have in your photos. Lie yon your back on a bed. Put your legs up on the wall and cross them. Wear heels in this photo. So now your body should be shaped like an L with your back on the bed and your legs on the wall. Turn your head to the side and have your hair fall over your face to cover it. Have the male half take a picture pointing straight down your body. Make sure he does this at multiple heights.

I opened my pictures for you. Look at the last picture in the Velma gallery. I think your breasts are nice enough to do a picture like the one I have in my husband's white shirt. Do you have pearls or perhaps a Christian cross/crucifix? If your boobs aren't as perky as they once were, there's another trick - but its painful. Take some duct tape. Place it on the under side of your boobs and then pull it tight and run it up over the back of your neck. Do the same with the other boob. Use your husband's shirt to cover the duct tape. The pearls or christian cross will help lead the eye to the right place.

If you want me to help guide you through this, just send me the bird, and we can walk through your photoshoot.

There was one week where two different people blocked me so they didn't have to continue seeing what I said about their profiles. I didn't mind being blocked, but if I'd done a better job of communicating the purpose of critiques, their profiles might have improved in some specific ways. So, now I warn. :-)

Such awesome feedback! I'm actually excited to rewrite our profile! @molly I've been reading the forums regularly and I was really hoping you'd chime in. You give such good advice and although you always preface it with "this may sound harsh", it never comes across that way. I appreciate everyone taking the time to have a look and give their thoughts!

Hi. I'm going to say mean things about your profile. Try to read what I say with two lenses: 1) I want you to get laid, and, 2) what I'm saying is about your profile, not about you. You are probably wonderful, amazing people, but your profile says something else entirely.

So, first, you are 41 and 45 and yet your age range tops out at 50. Is one or both of you uncomfortable with aging? Because an acceptable range of 15 years younger but only five years older than him says you are. I promise, you won't notice an extra few years at the top end and it's a much better look on a profile to not be quite so transparently ageist. Also, while I'm in this section, are you sure you Want Drinkers?

In Looking For, what you have is an uninteresting collection of clichés, none of which serve you well, along with a shopping list. Yes, we're attracted to what we're attracted to, but this is not like a wish list on Amazon. You're talking about people, almost all of whom will already be either shaved or well groomed, because that's standard for swingers. Seriously, I last saw a full bush in 2003 and even then it was so unusual I had to think for a minute before I remembered how to manage it without using her hair as dental floss.

So, anyway, "clean" suggests you think not specifying that means dirty people will show up. "Drama free" is meaningless on many levels, including that people who bring the drama are firmly convinced it's you not them. Also meaningless is "like minded." The information about your play preferences probably would be better in Additional comments, as would your preferences around smoking. Don't be shy...say hi is almost as much a cliché as "We're not Ken and Barbie," so maybe find a different way to end that section.

And, yes, you're going to have to decide her orientation, but if you decide to mention it anywhere except in your toggles, it belongs in Description.

Description has too much about sex and not enough about the kind of people you are. We all generally have a multitude of choices if we just want to fuck, so that's probably the least special part of you to highlight. Instead, what makes you the people you are and what are we going to talk about? Liking to be stretched probably goes best in Fantasies, as does his voyeurism (note the correct vowel order). And, really, do something with that section, because what you have isn't working.

What you have in Additional comments is both puzzling (full swap isn't swinging?) and mostly probably better in the section above, which is also for actual experiences.

Other than that, there's a typo in your last line and it's not really necessary to mention the security of your relationship anyway (what we really rest securely in doesn't get any comment).

Try rewriting your profile and approaching things as if you're looking for people who are just as real and valuable as you and thinking about how to highlight why you're a good choice. It's more like dating than selecting ambulatory sex toys, you know?

Anyway, good luck. I'm hoping you get lots of opinions from which to choose.

I’m at a conference in California right now so I’m a little busy but I can give some advice.

My first thought is that the profile says she is straight but the text says “bi curious.” This is why I don’t like putting demographics in profile text. If things don’t match up, people aren’t going to engage with you.

The profile text is very rote. “We are professionals. We like shaved. We don’t want smokers. We like eggs. We like fun.”

There’s no passion in it. It’s fine, just not great. You sound boring. My suggestion is to add a section in there about hobbies so that people with similar interests will have a way to contact you and be able to talk about more than sex.

I’m not crazy about the pictures. First of all, there are no pictures of the guy. If there are no pics of the guy, I’m going to assume he isn’t a triathlete like my husband.

You need 5 pictures: female face and body, male face and body and then a pic of the two of you dressed well like you are going out to a nice dinner or church. Then fill in some more pictures with the two of you at sporting events or traveling or doing interesting things.

You can blur or crop your faces if you need to.

When it comes to pictures, the first one is good, the others need to be tossed. I don’t like the fishnet dress, it isn’t flattering. I get it, the female half has a belly like all women over 40 do. Instead of laying down try standing up. Google contrapposto or just look at my default bikini picture. That S curve pose was discovered by the Greeks and that’s why their statues always look amazing.

Try that pose in a nice wrap dress. Wear heels, they make you taller. I have to go back into the conference, but I will try to write more later with specifics.

As a general rule, if you two really are professionals, maybe dress it up a bit. Dressing up can be sexy.

@Ron kathy thanks! I have quite a few in our private pics with our faces showing but never thought about how it would look not including him in the default! Thanks for the feedback on how it looks to others!

Open to tweaking some things and would love a profile review if you have the time. We definitely will be creating a new profile with a different name once established!
Thanks in advance!