That WAS the fix. The toggles still set to requiring smoking and drinking any time you do anything with your profile, but changing them to your actual preference doesn't send your profile to the moderator queue for review.
I think the changes you made are good.
The next time you go out, consider the Maxi dress and guayabera outfit. It will really make you look good.
Yeah, fun fact, when you update your profile, the newest wrinkle is that SLS changes your toggles so that you appear to only want smokers and drinkers. Instead of fixing it, they've arranged so that when you fix it, the update goes through immediately.
NNJ we prefer non smokers but do not want to limit ourselves as we have several friends who are smokers which does not bother us.
I really like the changes you've made to the text and look forward to seeing new photos that include him smiling. :-)
I still think you can drop any discussion of extra pounds or whatever. There are several reasons but maybe the most compelling is that some of us don't actually care what people weigh, and only want them to be comfortable in their own bodies. By bringing up weight and/or not being models, you kind of highlight that you aren't quite there in terms of personal comfort.
Anyway, good luck and thanks for being so gracious.
Looks like everyone hit the main points, but I did want to point out that the fact that you've been able to receive painful advice in good grace, while keeping a positive attitude is awesome. That tells me that you truly have something to offer to your possible play partners. Keep that positive attitude. None of us are perfect (I'm trying to be humble here ;) ), but no matter our faults, we all have something unique about us that will be attractive to some other folks. The trick is to find that unique thing, and communicate it so that you can bring joy and pleasure into your partners' lives and they can do the same for you.
Best of luck.
We appreciate the concern for our health, and it is something we are actively working with our physician with. We were both in much better shape just a few years ago, back surgeries, knee issues, and other health related complications with a nasty side effect of the only medication that helped relieve any pain has led us to be where we did not want to be. Since working with our physician, we have both lost close to 30 pounds each, and are continuing to do so, however given our medical background weight loss advice we will stick to the recommendations of our physician.
On to our pictures, after the comments made we both looked at our pictures again and saw that they need a change. Our issue is we really dont have many pictures of the two of us, since we seem to always have our children or grandchildren around. We are determined however to make changes and will be updating pictures as we get new ones. We usually go out to dinner once a week and for some reason just have not thought to take pictures then.
We did make a few changes to the sections of our profile, hopefully it at least reads better.
Our weights are current, and will continue to adjust them as we progress, with any luck and so long as the physician assisted weight loss continues to work we will both be back in shape or at least better shape in a few months. We are planning a trip out of town the end of the month and that may be the best opportunity for updating pictures..
We do want to thank you all for the input, and we do understand that sometimes telling someone the honest truth is difficult, but in our case it is what is needed as it was asked for.
I really need a sticky thread of Velma's axioms. Yeah, yeah, I know what you are thinking: "You get sticky all the time, Velma."
So one of my axioms is: "Never take a picture with a gun or a fish." If you only take one piece of advice, it's get rid of the fish picture NOW.
I'm going to talk about your pictures, but first, I have to talk a little about what I see and what can be improved in general. So, you two kind of have a unique look. I think it's obvious that you are in love, but it's kind of like you both just sort of... gave up. Your pictures reflect that in spades.
It's like... zero effort. You essentially put zero effort into your appearance. Zero effort into your pictures. Your pictures are the SLS equivalent of driving your minivan to 7-11 in your pajamas because the kids will be up an a half hour and you're out of milk.
Right now, the only people you are going to attract are other couples who are middle-age, overweight and have put zero effort into their profiles. If that's what you want, then don't change a thing. If you want to open yourselves up to a wider world, then take a listen.
I hate to say this, but the male half really needs to groom. My husband is a Sephardic Jew, so he would basically be a sheep if he didn't shave off all of his body hair for triathlons. I would strongly suggest that the male half get the chest and facial hair under control. The female half... I think you look better with shorter hair like the picture in the aquarium.
The two of you need to get in shape. You live in Florida where it's nice and warm 90% of the year. There is no excuse not to be in shape. There is a store called "Endurance House" near you that specializes in triathlon gear. I strongly suggest you go there and the two of you get fitted for a pair of running shoes. Jerry and Amy will bend over backwards to help you find the right shoe - it will cost you some money, but what are your feet worth?
Then, I want you to download the "Couch to 5K" app and start following the program. Sign up for a race that's 12 weeks from now and go for it. You need to understand something: Fred, is dangerously close to a health problems with his current weight. Please make a change before it's too late. You want a long and happy life together.
Now, onto pictures in general. I usually have a formula I tell people - your first 5 pictures need to be male face and body, female face and body, and at least one picture of the two of you together as a couple. I would suggest that you take pictures dressed up like you are going to a nice dinner or church, but maybe... since you live in Florida, let's put Fred in a white guayabera and Tammy in a nice, tropical Maxi dress. Take the pictures on the beach and have someone else take the pictures. Stay away from selfies unless they are super cute. If you have to take a selfie - look up at the camera. Nobody looks good looking down at a camera. It would give Brad Pitt a double chin.
And you need to smile. Right now, he looks like a Russian gangster. She looks like every middle-aged white woman in jail for drugs on "Lockup: RAW." SMILE!
The rest of the pictures should be of you doing interesting things. I kind of like the "rum" picture. Go to a Ray's game and take a few pictures at the stadium. Take a few pictures on a boat, but not holding a fish.
Keep the pictures under 10 - and add new ones from time to time. So I suggest that you take the pictures, repost, and we can re-evaluate.
Hi. Welcome. This is kind of like a cage match, but the intent is benign. So, onward, and thanks for understanding what goes on here.
Your photos are not good. You put a man in a vintage 'Vette and he still can't smile? Not the impression you want to make. I'm not the photo maven, but I will say that I look for photos where the couple is together and seems loving and happy.
Your tagline is boring but serviceable, but Friends is not capitalized and take out the "Updated" note.
In Looking For, confine yourselves to describing what you're looking for. The rest of what you have belongs in Description or in Additional info or can be trash canned (the part where you're not looking for endless (missing word) can go, for instance).
In Description, just lose the lines about not being everyone's cup of tea (none of us are), carrying a few extra pounds, and being down to earth normal, etc.
In Fantasies, you have stuff that goes in Looking For. And it's fantasies, not fantasized.
So, my suggestion is to straighten out your categories, run the whole thing through spellcheck (there are a fair number of typos), read it out loud to make sure it sounds like you and then ask for a review.
