Profile review help needed

I must read this. I need lessons pretty bad. I stink at this. Profiles I can write.

LS... sigh I cannot LS at all.

It's in Getting Started. LS Lessons. He's not posting them every day at the moment, but they're still a joy. ;-)

Where is the thing that Tramp writes every morning and why don't I know about it?

Oh, if saying nice things about Tramp is all it takes... ;-)

I like you, too, Tramp. And I read your life lessons every morning with quite a lot of joy.

Okay, OP, yes, it's true, listening to Tramp will take you on a ramble and maybe into low places (and low places are often the interesting ones), but he shares what he thinks with both clarity and empathy and those are pretty good things to bring to the party. So, I'd listen to him and follow the advice for as long as it makes sense for you.

I've been on the internet for so long and seen it typed wrong so often that I have to check each time I talk about discreet vs. discrete.

“You can't go wrong listening to Tramp.”

lol I had a pretty overwhelming day, but that made me chuckle out loud. Thank you!

Damn, I did it too. Didn't know that. Ouch.

Tramp

In my defense though, I did google McConauhey to get that right. ;^D

Please change your spelling from discrete to discreet.

Discrete means singular and you said that you are interesting in an ongoing friendship.

Discreet means on the down low.

OK, I'm off work now and feelin' good (wrote about it in the Song thread)

So, instead of telling you everything that I think might be wrong with most profiles, I wanna do the other way.

I'm gonna give you a good example of something that is distinctive. Something that is very different. Something that I will bet you a bottom dollar that will at the very least will get a little attention. It just got ours yesterday. It got a little attention from us, and we don't generally look for singles, and we don't really even look to make dates from these sites. We usually meet new folks at clubs or other venues like MsGolly mentioned.

But here it is...

We ran across this 47 yo SM's profile (on another site). His main profile pic shows him dress casual-sharp. You know, like Matthew McConaughey kind of shit (Tramps LS Lesson No. 19). Sporty jacket (open), grayish vest, white starched shirt (open collar), jeans...just cool as hell stuff. Face cropped out, so I'm sure it probably ain't Sir Matthew.

Now...

The next 5 pics in the public gallery take care of ALL the other stuff. He's on the beach playing volleyball. I mean jumping up about to slam one at the net. NO SPEEDOs, just regular beach trunks. Again, no face in any of this, but pictures are worth a thousand words.

Another shot (in different swim trunks) of this guy doing a back flip off of a lake dock. He's with other folks. They are blurred appropriately for discretion, but it's clear everybody is having FUN (Tramps LS Lesson No. 11). See, no need to talk about needing to be discrete, just be discrete and let it show.

There's a few more at different places, bar, mall, walking the town, but you get the idea.

He's got a couple of the nudes too. But they are in a separate folder with a G-Rated cover. The label let's you know very plain that the photos in here are nude. It's there for those who want to check (and Lady did), but it's not in your face.

The best part is the profile itself. There's one line at the beginning that makes a simple statement about the general category of who he believes he's a fit for. No more talk in this profile about fitness, looks, drama, FWB, prowess, skills, blah, blah, and on and on.

He just talks about fun stuff. Some witty stuff and also some insightful stuff.

It's a cool profile, and he seems like he would be a lot of fun to be around. He might be the biggest prick who walks, but he certainly doesn't seem that way from this profile.

I can't tell you what will work. I don't really know. I can tell you for a fact what will not work, and that's what 90% of the men (single and coupled alike) are doing. Don't believe me? Ask them.

I will also tell you that in the one single case that I just described above...it worked.

Lady dropped this fella a quick note. Go figure, right?

Tramp

"Hi. You can't go wrong listening to Tramp."

Actially, it's probably the easiest way I know of to go wrong.

But...

I really like MsGolly!

And it's not just cause you said something nice about ole Tramp. Actually, that's pretty much a lie. I liked you already, but I realy, really like you now. ;^D

Tramp

Hi. You can't go wrong listening to Tramp.

I looked at your profile earlier and decided it was going to take more than the ten minutes I had. I think you need a rework rather than just a bit of spice, although that would be helpful, as it's currently pretty bland. First, the biggest problem is your several iterations about discretion. Coupled with the oh, hey, daytime and early evenings are best, I'd automatically toss you in the liars, cheaters and thieves nope bin. You may be completely honest about being a single dad (I was a single mom and know about daytime playtime), but the prominence you give to your availability and your need for discretion leaves the impression that you're cheating and many swingers are particularly judgmental about that. So, working on the assumption that you aren't bullshitting, you'll get better results by constructing a neutral sentence about days and early evenings being best as you're a single dad and sticking it in Additional comments.

Instead of drama-free, what about easy going? Also, are you really only looking for a couple or woman? Because that's kind of a red flag too, what with the whole daytime availability, plus a lot of people don't want to be their playmate's only playmate, as that can be a recipe ingredient for drama. Also, you're no longer new to the site and that can go. Your last sentence in Looking For, with a fix of the structure, can be a good way to start that section: I would love to meet couples and/or women with whom I can develop on-going friendships.

In Description, Tramp is right (see above); you really don't distinguish yourself from most other single guys by any of the things you enumerate. So instead of calling attention to that fact, you might want to leave that line out and talk instead about what makes you uniquely you. I like the first line in this section, by the way, with the change to plural for couples and women. I also like the line about seeing you in the mall and thinking vanilla. The rest is disposable. And, please, even when it's true, don't talk about your skills or your dick. Let your certs do that. So, now you have a mostly blank section where you can describe yourself. Not your height and weight, because we already know that, but hair and eye color could go here. Also the things you like to do belong here. That's the sort of thing that invites people to see you as an individual they might want to know.

The information in Fantasies belongs in the section below it, again with the proviso that you shouldn't mention discretion if you aren't a cheater. So, what are your fantasies and experiences? You don't have to be graphic, but, again, these are some of the things that are unique to you, even if the fantasies and experiences themselves are common.

Good luck.

A belated welcome to the forums.

There's much to say here, but I'll stay brief...for now.

One of your profile sentences tells that you believe you distinguish yourself from other single males here. In person, you may well do that.

However, look at 100 SM profiles and tell me what is much different. Your grammer, spelling, etc. may be better, but in essance you're saying what most say.

1) I don't want drama
2) I can only play during the day
3) I'm open minded
4) I have sexual skills
5) Her pleasure is my desire
6) Discretion, discretion, discretion...

I'm not suggesting that any of this is untrue or an attempt at deceit. I am telling you that it is not at all distinct from most of the others.

Best of luck in the search.

Tramp

Think I need a change to spice it up.

Thoughts?