Hi. Please start your own thread, which is essentially the same process as replying to an existing one, just using the front page for Better Profiles and clicking New Topic on the right hand side near the top.
Hi - looking for some feedback myself on my profile? Thanks much! Evan
I didn't see the original, so can't comment. Noticed the comment about starting in the LS at 18 is still in there, and it's under the Description section instead of the Experience section. I agree that, best case, it doesn't really add anything to your profile. Worst case, it comes across as bragging, which is never a good look. At a minimum, it fits better in the Experience section but you're probably better off without it.
You still have a few typos. If you have a laptop or desktop, you can access Google Docs from a browser for free. If you cut/paste your whole profile into it, it will flag some grammatical mistakes you still have.
Just a thought, but I'm kind of a big proponent of listing hobbies in your description. For example, maybe you like sci-Fi movies, or bowling, or golf. These are conversation starters for people that share a similar interest and they make it easier to engage you in a conversation. It also shows some depth, rather than just being all about sex.
Yes, I know this is a site about looking for sex, but most people want to be with someone they can enjoy the company of in and out of the bedroom. Common interests tends to be a good indicator of that.
Hello all,
I made a few changes to my profile and added a pic of me finally smiling. Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
Hello all,
I made a few changes to my profile and added a pic of me finally smiling. Any constructive criticism is appreciated!
Much better. You could probably still rearrange a bit and even prune some sections but your text is no longer so off-putting and disjointed.
Next project is your pictures - a few smiling pictures doing fun things or dressed nicely will nicely complement your text.
Have fun and stay safe!
Hello everyone,
I greatly appreciate all of the feedback. With that being said, I do make some changes on my profile with the exception of my photos. Please let me know what you all think! Thank you
I don't necessarily think you will "do well" even if you do fix your profile up. I don't think single guys do well here, unless they are super special.
Honestly, I kind of have to wonder what you are even doing here at 25 and single. You have your youth and are a good looking kid. Why not join some local groups and pursue a nice single lady?
You need more pictures, but would say you are a handsome guy (wish I had your hairline). Someone said smile, but I don't necessarily agree. If you can't pose well and look like a fool when you smile, don't smile.
With that said, the written part of the profile tells to much and doesn't show enough. Use verbs not adjectives.
Also, I'd scrap the bit about not being pushy. It drags on forever, and borders on protesting too much.
I thought about looking at your profile last night but I was somewhere between I've had too much wine to constructively review a profile and I haven't had enough wine to deal with someone so young. No offense - but I can do a grumpy old man impersonation when dealing with someone the age of my grandson. But there was just something about your ever so hopeful face with a tiny bit of a smirk that made me come back when I could do a proper job. ;-)
You need to sit down at a computer (don't try to compose a profile on a phone) and copy all your text into a word processor and then start rearranging so that your text answers the question implied in each section header. MsMolly has made some excellent suggestions about what goes where.
Then you need to see if you can make each section appear to have be written by the same person. Right now, I'm not sure how many people wrote your profile. And no list - the fun, conversational style works much better. I tended to forget your age until you'd bring it up again somehow - so figure out how to walk that fine line. When you think you're done run spell check/grammar check and then copy your text into your profile here.
Make sure to read Velma's advice for photos and see if you can manage a few with more of a smile.
And while I got distracted by chaos at home, HollyBlue swooped in with even more good advice.
Good luck, have fun and stay safe!
~Phoebert's Wife
James, if EVER you run into that husband who is trying to use you as a piece of meat to talk his wife into one of his fantasies- RUN AWAY. These scenarios rarely if ever end well. Stay safe. Yes, that goes for single men as well as ladies. We personally know many young men who have gotten themselves into terrible situations.... You genuinely seem like a nice guy. Definitely think well on what Molly has already said and apply it.
The big issue is that you don't need to say anything about coming back to the LS or make any attempt to convince people you are legit. Just say you are experienced and you enjoy time with couples, etc. Profiles that are written in a defensive manner will raise flags for most. Most will just assume you are in the "he just broke up and wants to get laid" category of sm's. I don't want another sm pouring his heart out about a failed relationship. Write a positive profile that introduces you to the community. Give a few details about what you enjoy talking about and doing in addition to some play preferences.
With your pictures- smile and use the advice in the sticky to get some nice non-selfie pics in your default gallery. Set the timer on your camera app or get a friend to help. With your private gallery or default, you really only need one nude full body shot and not a sea of dick pics. People will want the full body shot to see that the parts in the pictures are actually yours. Yes, sm's do show up for dates and expect to play after sending some random person's penis to a couple's inbox. Just make sure that the lighting is good and there are NO TOILETS/ URINALS in your pics.
You should do well with just a few tweaks and some patience.
Well, it's not business, since this is a pro bono endeavor, but, yes, presumably we're all adults. Still, it's not always easy to have someone criticize your work. Which I'm going to do, because I find your profile at least mildly annoying and since I'm not usually sensitive in that way, I'm guessing others will too.
First, your photo situation can be improved. Props for not doing the brooding glower thing, but please read the sticky at the top of this section and adapt accordingly.
Taglines aren't meant to be informative. Instead, you want to invite and interest others, so short and clever is best.
Looking For should be more than three short lines, two of which focus on you instead of your theoretical playmates. Three sentences isn't a problem, but talk about who you're looking for in ways that focus on them. You can talk about yourself in the other three sections. This line, stuck in Description where it doesn't belong, is a better start: Completely non-pushy (unless requested) laid back guy looking to meet new couples and singles. Follow that up with a little bit about what you're interested in, if it's ongoing or whatever.
Description starts off well and then goes completely off the rails. The first three sentences are fine. As mentioned, one later in the section actually goes in Looking For. The rest is just a big flat no for various reasons. Not sure what your intention is, but the notion that you'd think it was okay to help persuade a reluctant "wify" (more on that word in a moment) gave me a spike in the brain. Sure, it's not completely fucking entitled and kinda rapey like your second example, but a better strategy is to a) never, ever think it's okay to help persuade someone to do anything (that's not what consent is about), and, b) save philosophizing in general for late night discussions with friends, because it doesn't belong on your profile.
Also of debatable use is pointing out that you did something in the LS at 18 and then left, because that just leaves a lot of potential questions. Plus, it doesn't belong here. Instead, there's a section for it that actually wants to know about your experiences.
As far as 50s women's magazine terms like "hubby" and "wifey," just don't. They're barely acceptable in people who were alive to read those magazines as they came out and doing so when many of us have boots older than you is just weird.
Instead of what you have, continue on in the vein you started with, saying more about you as a human. Keep in mind that you're really young, so do your best to indicate your maturity without insisting on it. So, what do you like to do besides have conversations? Not talking about sex, just things that illustrate what sort of man you are.
In Fantasies and experiences, instead of an exhaustive list, come up with a narrative instead. Start out by saying you have (some number of years) LS experience and have done MFM, cuckold, etc.
The part about being camera friendly with stipulations can go in Additional comments. Which is good, because you don't want to leave anything blank. If you can, end this section on a high note of some kind.
Other than that, because you're young, your profile has to be pretty polished but without overt insistence on your maturity or the ole age is just a number schtick.
That's all I have. Good luck. I hope you make some changes and then come back for a review.
Wondering what couples or single ladies think of my profile. I do know it may need some things fixed here and there. With that being said, please be as blunt as possible, no sure coating. Rather knows problems/issues to fix than having to guess what you’re trying to say cause you don’t know want to hurt my feelings. It’s profile review, nothing personal, just business ???????
