Profile Review

Willie.. welcome , you will need to start your own thread then delete this one.

Buckle up.. some cant take honest advice from long time swingers..

Hello,
I am looking for some advice concerning my profile. Please bring it on.

NCSINGLEMALE - please start your own thread for a review otherwise advice for you gets confused with advice for the OP.

Thanks for the help everyone!

Good job - amazing transformation from where you started!

I know it is rather amusing to get photo advice from a yellow gumby but bear with me. As you add pictures you should think about cropping them to emphasize you - the current one includes a lot of distracting background and ceiling. Obviously if you are posting event pictures as Velma recommends then including more background isn't a problem. Think about your audience and what you're trying to accomplish with each picture.

Your new picture is well lit and your smile is welcoming - so much better than the previous dark picture with perhaps a hint of a smile (can't tell - detail lost in the darkness). I view SLS on a 13" laptop and viewing pictures is my biggest problem - the usual format for photos isn't very big and many seem to be dark. I can't imagine using SLS on a phone with a smaller screen.

Have fun!

New.. great photo.. we enjoy guys and ladies with nice smiles.. shows they hopefully enjoy life.. We love going out and to bed play with those people! Now keep on adding to what you have .

You will be fine!

Newstuff,

See my comments in your other thread.

Mr.H

My profile has been updated and I replaced the old picture with a smiling one. There will be more pictures either later today or tomorrow, but can someone tell me how the new profile goes with the new picture now?

I have added your spell checks and I also added the end portion of the additional information back in the . I just have to wait for the profile to update.

The marketing/advertising class relies on the English class.

The enticement of others is easier because of that nit-picky foundation. ;-)

It feels like you took out a little too much in Additional comments. I didn't keep a copy, so I don't know what it was, but some of the charm is gone. Other than that, I'm just going to fix your sentences.

Here:

Personality wise, I’m a shy individual, not really out going. However, the more I get to know someone, the more I open up.

Fantasies and / or real experiences:
My fantasies are pretty vanilla, including pleasuring two women at once. That one is always fun to think about. Also older women are a big turn on for me. It is the idea that she can perhaps teach me a few tricks to better please her and her friends.

Additional comments and things to do, see, hear or learn about:
I am attempting to learn new skills and hobbies nowadays. Computers, scuba diving, and blacksmithing among them. Just a few activities to get more enjoyment out of life.

Ok, besides the picture because I already know about that one. How does the rest of my profile look?

I have not thought of it that way, but I am essentially trying to advertise myself. How I rate against other single males and why I should picked over them.

It's actually a marketing class. PhoebertAndWife's last paragraph is a pretty good indicator that you're making progress. It's progress you don't want to undercut by sounding less articulate than you actually are, hence the nitpicking.

The pained neutral expression sees all, hears all and knows all! Seriously though, I’m working on the pictures, they should come later. I am glad that my profile seems more appealing now. Hopefully I can grow to meet that standard your looking for.

You will need additional pictures - your current default is poorly lit and your expression isn't appealing. The neutral expression is better than the pained look of concentration shown in many selfies but doesn't make me think you're happy to be here. Good sex should be fun - I don't think you'll be fun if you don't smile. Subtle may work in person but not here - you're dealing with small screens of varying quality.

You may not enjoy English class but the suffering will pay dividends. Previously I'd have said "oh hell no" after a quick look at your profile; now I'm looking at the details and deciding if you're close enough to my preferences.

Ok, I have added the latest changes and I have deleted the two photos.I can always upload new ones if I need to. I understand the importance of having a coherent and well written profile, but this sort of feels like english class. Not that I’m complaining, I do need the help.

Right, I’ll look at again. I do also appreciate people staying with this.

Hi. You didn't read your profile out loud. I know this because you've got weird syntax errors that you would have caught and fixed if you had. So, please, please do that, because it makes an unnecessarily bad impression.

Other than that, I'd change it from woman to women (and fix the surrounding text to reflect that) in Looking For, because even if you only have time for one, it just looks better to be open to multiple women/couples. I'd also get rid of the "...please do me a favor" part of that last sentence, because it has an edge of whine to it.

Description especially needs to be read aloud and fixed.

Fantasies needs to lose the last sentence. I've tried mentally fixing the syntax and it still doesn't work. There's something unappealing or something (or maybe it's just that the mouth feel of the word moan is icky to me). Other than that, vanilla isn't capitalized.

What's in Additional comments really belongs in Description, but it works here so leave it. Just move the comma to where it belongs, which is between "way" and "so."

Other than that, go take about a dozen selfies of you smiling, pick the best one and get rid of the other one. Later, get someone else to take full length photos of you smiling in clothes that fit.

I'm not averse to teaching - I have a responsive body, but some guys still need help finding a clit - so it's fine with me. It's kind of a sweet fantasy for someone looking for older, more experienced women.

Your changes based on MsMolly's advice are a definite improvement but you've still got some work to do. There are some odd misspellings and missing punctuation to be corrected but that's minor compared to what really bothers me.

You tend to ramble on a bit and it causes two problems - some information is shared that should remain in your brain and some good information ends up in the wrong section. Go through the text looking for those issues and rearrange or delete as necessary.

I'm still seeing the nude bathroom mirror selfies so something went wrong if you think you removed them. For your new pictures remember to smile - that more than anything will improve everyone's pictures.

Good luck, have fun and stay safe!

~Phoebert's Wife

That being said someone look at the rest of the profile?

Well I removed the two naked selfie pics because you weren’t the only one to say so about that Velma/Shaggy. But I’am with Sammysings in regards to the teaching thing. When I wrote that I was thinking more along the lines of some sort of exotic position or move. Some kind of play that really sets her off like a firecracker. I understand you don’t want teach anyone and I don’t have the expectation that every couple or woman would want to teach either.

I would just add that some women may be into teaching a guy some new tricks.

Ok, couple of things.

My first thoughts:

"Maybe she can teach me a few tricks while were going at."

Yeah, we're not doing this. I taught children for 20 years. I want to be fucked by a man, not a boy who needs to be taught how to fuck. That is someone else's problem, not mine.

Also, please stop the bathroom selfies. On one of them, it looked like your pubic hair was... somewhat unruly. You don't need to be perfectly shaved, but maybe trim that back a bit.

I think the problem with single males is that for women, swinging is about fantasy. So you have to fit into a particular woman's fantasy. So here's the good news and the bad news. The good news is that you aren't a bad looking guy. The bad news, is that there's a lot of other guys out there who are just as good looking who have better pictures.

Think about how you want to fulfill a woman's fantasy and position yourself as that person.

I have made a lot of the changes that you’ve suggested. Not the pictures yet they will be added later. As for the changes I have made, they haven’t shown up yet, but when they do can you take a look?