Profile review

"Hello all! Just signed up"

Member Since 2/28/14

@Whataboutus68

Start your own thread, please and we'll help.

Just a bit curious about how our profile looks to others

Goodnightsc,

Hit the “back” button. On the previous page tap on “New Topic”.

Also, did you know that your profile is hidden from couples?

Please start your own thread.

Hello all! Just signed up. Would it be possible to get a review as we've send over 20 notes and received 0 replies. Not even a hello back, lol. Thanks!

"Ive been a whore for many years"

"Dicknado"

"Girl, dat ass thicker than a bowl of oatmeal."

Velma never ceases to give us a good chuckle ... we only wish we saw you at TPA more often (yeah I know its a drive for you), because you crack us the fuck up

probably men

That's possible, but it may be more of a reaction to avoid what I call the "Dicknado."

Once you open yourself up to single men, you immediately get hit with a scrotestorm of biblical proportions.

Imagine that your wife asked you to stop at Target on your way home from work to pick up a few things you need for dinner. You go inside and pick up those things. When you come back outside, it's started raining heavy. But you can't wait out the rain because your wife needs that stuff to make dinner, so you run out into the rain and get soaked on your way to the car.

Now imagine that every single raindrop hitting you is a dick.

That's what's it's like being a woman with her profile open to single men.

So, yeah, I might remove all pictures because it discourages men with lame opening lines about your body: "Girl, dat ass thicker than a bowl of oatmeal." So with no pictures, it's a little harder to come up with something crass.

I don't completely hate men, but to be honest, back before I met my husband there were times when I wondered if there was conversion therapy to turn me into a lesbian. Yeah, guys can be that bad.

As Velma noted we all have biases - some more hard & fast than others. But cheaters seem to attract universal scorn - hence my suggestion to clarify that you have your husband's support.

Read a lot of other profiles and analyze what works or doesn't. You don't necessarily have to emphasize sex - we're all here for that and we know it. But even those looking for NSA one-time encounters often prefer someone they have things in common with.

There are plenty of ways you can take pictures without giving away your identity. Pictures contribute to a profile's authenticity. I know at least one SM that has told me he thinks SF profiles without pics are probably men so he doesn't even look at the profile.

Oh, one more thing... about us being "less judgemental."

We are judgemental AF.

I veto couples because the lady has nail beds that have grown out or she likes Moscato or has an "I want to speak to the manager" haircut. I veto guys who have shaved heads and goatees because they tend to use the goatee to cover their chin. I veto guys who dress in camo, display guns, fish, cargo shorts, Crocks or Callaway golf polos that have sleeves which could double as wind socks.

I veto guys who want to talk sexy or discuss fantasies because 99% of the time PORN SICK = LIMP DICK.

The fact is that I already have the man of my dreams - a guy who fucks me, makes a great living and cooks me breakfast every day with perfect eggs. So pretty much any other man is going to be a step down and the only thing they bring to the table is variety or a second cock for a DP.

You will do better if you are judgemental.

Hello Velma,
Thank you for the well detailed and informative feedback. There is a special place in my heart for women who support other women. You mentioned a few things that I had not considered and will definitely consider going forward. I sent you a PM. Thank you again, your feedback is greatly appreciated

One more thing. I want to talk about sexual assault, Low Value Men and condoms.

I've been single for as long as you've been married. I only just met my husband 5 years ago. During this 25 year timespan, I've seen the behaviors of men change drastically. Some of this has been due to hookup culture. Some of this has been to men forgetting about the AIDS epidemic that we grew up with in the 80's.

A lot of guys don't want to use condoms anymore. They'll complain that it doesn't feel good or that they can't stay hard. This isn't your fucking problem. Grab your shit and leave if they try to pull that shit.

From 2001-2015 I was a successful, single woman who lived in the Washington DC area. I could basically fuck a new guy every week because some pilot was always there for a layover or some translator had just rotated into an embassy. This worked out well for me because 99% of the time, these guys had hotels. I could go to the hotel bar where I could gauge whether they were dangerous in public with security cameras surrounding me. If I liked them, I would fuck them in their hotel room, where I could make a quick escape if I had to.

If you are really going to do this, I strongly suggest to target only high-value men who can afford taking you to a nice hotel in Minneapolis. Don't do the Econo-lodge thing. Don't go to their house. If the guy can't afford drinks and a nice hotel room, he probably isn't worth your time. This is about YOUR safety, not his financial comfort. Never get a hotel with doors that open to the outside. Get something in the center of the city with doors that open into a central hallway.

So, keep that in mind as you move forward with this. PM me if you have any questions. I've been a whore for years and I know what I'm doing when it comes to doing this safely.

I opened a private gallery for you to show you the kind of pictures you should have.

The sad fact is that you could have 0 pictures and still draw in men, but you should have at least three pictures - a full body picture of you dressed well, a full body picture of you doing something interesting, and a full-body picture of you at the beach or showing off something sexy. Don't do the boobs and butts thing.

Another thing: I noticed you are interested in an FFM. Change your profile to "Bi Curious" so it gives you a greater pool of people to draw from. I would also suggest that you open your profile to single women. Let me explain.

I'm straight: Like totally 100% straight. I don't fantasize about women. The thought of women doesn't make my heart go pitter-patter. But when I was single and even up until now, I fucked girls.

This may sound counter-intuitive, but I don't actually need to be attracted to a someone to have an orgasm, and one of the nice things about women is that they are usually better kissers, the lovemaking is very sensual and hot, and you aren't risking rape with every encounter like you would with a man. So even though I'm not exactly attracted to women, I consider women a viable alternative. (I also get turned on knowing that I'm driving another woman wild, but that's more of a mental thing.)

The married thing... most men won't care. I'm not sure I would even mention it.

If you need help with your pictures, let me know and I'll work with you to get you the best possible pictures for your body type.

Hello HollyBlue

Thank you for responding and providing tips. I plan to revise my profile based on recommendations provided by you and Phoebert's wife. Newbies need these pointers so thank you for helping.

Hello Phoebert's Wife

Thank you for responding and thank you for your honest feedback.

Generally speaking, it's natural to assume that a married person playing alone is cheating however there are people in happy marriages where one partner can no longer sexually satisfy the other partner and consent to hall passes. This is my current situation. I have been with my husband for 20 years and we love one another deeply. I'm happy to discuss my situation in private with any potential playmate.

My interest in the lifestyle was peaked after speaking to a friend in the lifestyle. I felt the community would be more welcoming and less judgemental.

The ask of discretion is related to my high profile job that I don't want to jeopardize. Hence no picture on my profile.

Thank you for the clarification related to my fantasies. I have clearly made a rookie mistake which explains some of the messages I received. I will revise this to MFM and the other one where I'm more focused on the husband. - This is why your help is needed ( smile and hugs).

Thank you for the tips. I'm going to go back and revise my profile.

Have you read some of the other profile reviews? The advice offered is well meant but is often blunt and and may seem mean. Please remember that everything said is about your profile and not you personally. I'm usually the nicer version of mean & blunt but you have some glaring issues in your profile that are not helping your chances for success here.

I'm always confused when I see married singles here looking for other singles - I wonder if they are really swingers or if they are just hoping to find quick & easy sex. You'll probably have better luck than the single guys if you fall into the second category but that really isn't what SLS is about. If you fall into the first category then some indication of "hall pass" or "playing with permission" will reassure others that you are not cheating.

Not listing your weight and not having a public picture will cause many to pass you by. I know that taking photo advice from a yellow gumby is rather ludicrous but have other people take your picture and smile. And just list your weight - it's not like you can hide anything if you actually plan on meeting anyone in person.

If you are interested in threesomes then pay attention to the order of the acronyms - MMF implies bi-male activity, FFM implies bi-female activity. Since you list as straight you probably want to consider MFM (where you would be the center of attention) or FMF (where you join a couple to concentrate on him).

Unfortunately I'm not sure what to do about your profile text - generally it seems to be all about you and you've ignored the section headers. Hopefully there will be other replies with some specific advice.

Good luck and stay safe.

~Phoebert's Wife

Well let's begin with the gumby. You really need some type of default picture for your profile. Put in a little effort and get about 4 or 5 in the default gallery and it will greatly help things. You need to type up a short paragraph for each section that fits the subject headings. Also, put your weight in your profile and be accurate with your stats. Nothing universally frustrates people like putting in the effort to meet someone only to find out they have grossly misrepresented themselves.

Are you cheating on your husband or do you need to be discrete for the more common reasons of family, work, etc.? Asking because you mention being married and discretion in almost the same breath. Have personally seen people melt their lives getting on these sites and have never seen someone say it was worth it. Swinging is not cheating. Also, many do not have any interest in getting caught up in the drama that can unfold especially being named in divorce proceedings. If you aren't cheating then be sure to work at keeping your husband in the loop and look for ways it can be fun for both of you.

In the looking for section be a little more detailed. This is your fantasy and don't be afraid to give details. If you want a really large member that you'll always remember then don't hesitate to ask for it. Most men seem to imagine they are big whether they are or not. You won't have a shortage of messages. Once they start coming in take your time to filter them out. Do not rush communication or cut corners. Stick to the types of people you are looking for. Let others know that you are looking for them by getting it in your profile.

Hi. Nope, because you have single women blocked (I know what it says, but if you toggle no interest in a profile group, they're blocked), but there are couples who post here and I'm sure they'll be happy to help.

Hello, will you please review my profile and provide honest tips for improvement? Thank you!