Profile Help

Hi. I'm not worried about offending you or anyone, but this process can be uncomfortably intrusive, especially when criticism is involved. If it feels that way, I hope you roll with it anyway, because it's not about you, it's about how you're marketing yourself.

You have a decent start because that thing with the keys is funny, but it's not enough if your intent is to attract others. Plus it's kinda memorable, so if you've haven't changed it, your photo or your tagline any time in the last six to 12 months, you should. Also, since you've been on here for four years, are you actually 40? If you aren't, fix that and consider changing your age range preference accordingly.

Anyway, if you can come up with something equally clever or even just mix your current terms up in Looking For, that would be a good start. But then you need to talk about what you're actually looking for, which is other people. Your toggles suggest you're open to all permutations and you should mention that. And then what you're looking for, although there I think your particular sort of humorous vagueness might work if you're not sure if you want a one time thing or FWBs.

Description is meant to attract others. I'm not sure you've done that, although your start isn't bad. Who are you? What do you like to do? Is that guitar a prop or are you a musician? This is a chance to interest others in you, so put some time and thought into it. Everyone, every single person, is unique and special, so show some of that part of you here.

Fantasies - You don't need to talk about that 9th grade teacher and what you wanted to do with him or her, but do lightly sketch out your experience and something about your fantasies. This is another place for you to connect with others, a place for them to see themselves in your imagination or you in theirs.

Additional comments is a place for you to end on a high note. What that might be is an individual choice. Can you host? That can go here. So can a ton of other things. You might want to look at some of the profiles of forum posters if you're stuck.

Just start with something, so you don't continue giving the impression that you can't be arsed to make an effort or to finish things.

Anyway, make some changes, add some content and then come back for a review. Good luck.

Unfortunately there isn't really enough content in your profile to review. Except to say that it probably isn't working for you.

Your profile is part resume and part advertisement. Tell us the sort of people you are interested in and the type of relationships you'd like (on-going FWB, NSA one-time encounters, etc). Then tell us a bit about yourself (but don't repeat info in your stats) - the vanilla stuff that lets people decide if you might have anything to talk about. Most of the sexy info (what you've enjoyed and what's still on your bucket list) goes in Fantasies/Experience. Don't leave the last section blank - it's your last chance to entice people.

You don't need to write War and Peace - a few sentences in each section is enough. Read through previous reviews given and look at profiles of both those asking for help and those giving help. See what you think is off-putting or attractive then use that research to write your own text.

Velma has given you the short version of her advice for core pictures in your public gallery. Remember to smile, watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies. The picture you currently have isn't great - hard to smile with that cigarette dangling from your lips.

Connecting online takes a lot of work. You're going to have to get a whole lot better with words to be successful at this.

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

I’m gonna start with saying this - Your profile is a resume. Right now, your resume is basically saying that you’re a homeless guy who smoke cigarettes while playing guitar in the park.

While the starving artist thing might be a turn on for Yoga mommies in South Beach who hate their wealthy, workaholic husbands, It doesn’t play well in Peoria.

Have someone take three pictures of you - One of you dressed nicely like you’re going out to a date, one of you doing something interesting like running, rock climbing, or going to a sporting event. And one of you shirtless by the pool or a beach.

Let’s start with those pictures. Have a friend take them, and then post back here so we can review.

I've never been very good with words I would love any advice and criticism offered. If you worried about offending me just know that I find becoming offended Is the only thing that offends me. lol