Profile Help . Ladies . ?

Good point. Alice Roosevelt wasn't slutty, so far as I know. It would be delightful if she had been, though, since she had so many other interesting qualities.

Yeah, there's always been a debate over who said that quote. But I usually prefer to go with Parker because she's so delightfully mean and slutty. I'm partial to slutty. :)

Without looking it up, I'm pretty sure that was Alice Roosevelt, who had an even tarter tongue than Ms. Parker.

Well, you know what Dorothy Parker supposedly said on the subject....

"If you can't say something good about someone, sit right here by me."

Ohhhh. You know, I didn't even think about that. You're probably right. And since I've erased what I wanted to say next six times, that's probably an indication I shouldn't say anything else. ;-)

Pretty sure it was the "going down on a banana" thing. Which wasn't in the least bit a mean comment, simply pointing out the mixed message. As we all know, some guys get really upset about any hint of being less than 100% straight.

Of course, I could be totally off base here. I'm willing to admit that I don't know everything, or even most of the things.

You know, I usually can tell the trigger for deletions, but not this time. Eh.

Wow, that conversation certainly went well. 8^O

Verbal Kint voice

And like that.....

kisses fingers

....he's gone.

You're a looker - but any pic of a guy going down on a banana is sending a same sex message - IMO. Oysters, strawberries, grapes and even half an avocado says WOMAN, a banana says DUDE.

I'm not a fan of lists as they detract from your hot guy pics - we like your pics. Lists remind me initial thoughts for a created writing project, a PowerPoint presentation, or a "honey do" list. They also say compulsive behavior and maybe a salient point lover who'd skip the transitions and go from munching to pounding to washing to leaving.

Narratives are cognitive insights and personality traits a writer leaves in their profile for the reader to discover...the cat and mouse game...it's the hide-in-seek thrill behind reading profiles and trying to determine "are they like me," "are they crazy," "are we a match." A good narrative is sexy as hell.

If you're taking pics more pics with objects in your mouth, here's my list for things that say DUDE

French fries

Pretzel sticks

Ice cream cones

Zucchini

Eggplant

Pickles

Cucumbers

Biscottis

Big-ass vitamins

Cannoli's with cream at the end

Eclairs

French andouille sausage with veins

Carrot

Push-up pops

Lollipops

Twinkies

Squashes that look like dicks

Dildos

Twix, Snickers, Butterfinger bars

Baguettes

Churros

Breadsticks

Popsicle

Burrito

I’m not crazy about the bullet points it looks like a resume:

• created synergistic opportunities to create orgasmic potential for over 15 women from fiscal year 2017

That’s not a dealbreaker, though.

I like your pictures Just pair of them back-never show the same picture twice. You don’t need two pictures of your chest and so on.

Oh, and sorry (no editing function), I knew I had forgotten something: watch the background in your photos. Messy bedding and your laptop is not a seductive sight.

Hi and welcome. We're not all ladies. Some of us aren't even women. But I'm sure everyone will do their best. ;-)

First, the automatic disclaimer: However harsh the critique, it's kindly meant.

I'm kind of torn about your profile. On the one hand, lists are efficient and informative, but on the other hand, they're not particularly enticing. And, also, a list makes me wonder about whether that efficiency translates to sex, which I doubt I'd like, unless I was in a real hurry. So, maybe consider using a conventional narrative form.

Another thing is that you mention the word "drama" three times in a profile that is very short. That gives me pause, because it makes me wonder whether you're either a drama magnet or a creator of same.

That you have no certs is not worrisome yet, since you've only been on the site for three months, but your age limit of a bit over half your age to just slightly above it makes me concerned that you're uncomfortable with aging and/or have some internal judgment about it. You might want to consider making some changes there.

The stuff in Additional comments is - please trust me on this - nonsense. I'll explain more if you like, but it's like announcing you believe in the tooth fairy. Please use that section wisely and try to end on a positive, fun note.

I'm usually pretty lax about photos, but I think you have too many, they're too similar, and your dick is kinda showing in at least one, which is an automatic nope for me.

So, basically, change your photos and your profile. But perhaps wait until you've gathered more opinions, because that will be way more useful than listening to just one person.

Good luck!