I didn't see Avatar. I'm not enough of a fan of Cameron's work outside of the Terminator films to spend that much time staring at a movie screen. Plus, when it came out, I was living in Hawaii and out of the habit of spending any time indoors except to sleep.
Nobody ever travels to Bellingham, but I'm within driving range of Seattle and Vancouver, BC (which is only half as far away) and I'd make the drive. ;-)
Carrie Fisher will be missed and never forgotten. Nobody else can rock those buns like her.
By the way did you like Avatar and are you excited about the sequels?
You never know, I might be one of those guys that are traveling cross-country for a date, lol. But I have to say that I am sapiosexual and I have a soft spot for intelligent, nerdy and mature women like yourself
Star Wars, man, those prequels were just bad. And I really don't like the way Lucas retconned things. I've enjoyed the new ones quite a lot, especially Rogue One, but I'm going to miss Carrie Fisher forever. I've never seen a GoT episode. I've read all but the last book from the series, but I couldn't take anymore bloodshed and misery so I gave that last one away without reading it.
Yeah, probably, if your initial approach was even half as polished as your forum posts. Lots of people don't know how to distill what they want or talk about themselves effectively so I'm less influenced by profiles than anyone reading my posts here would imagine. Plus, you come with what I consider to be the best of all advantages in that you're married and presumably happily so. For other people, that might be a bit of a hurdle, but it's what I look for and am attracted by.
@MsMolly I do like Star Wars, but I also feel like $$$ is what is stretching the story. I do also love GoT, but the last season was so bad, so I wouldn't even talk about it.
Let me ask you something. If I was closer to your city, would you have considered to grab a coffee with me? Forget how my profile looked like 2 days ago and I know, my pics still suck, lol. I am just curious
So much better - good job!
I know I mentioned previously that a conversational paragraph is more attractive than a list of sentences - but with the addition of blank lines your text is easier to read. It should work just fine for now and you can work on your writing style at your leisure if you desire.
Deleting the comment about your tag line is probably a good idea - you've made it abundantly clear that you love oral (and emphasizing oral sometimes gives people the wrong idea as MsMolly pointed out).
All you're lacking now are some better pictures (hopefully you can schedule a photo shoot during the munchkin's next nap).
Have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
Hi, it's definitely improved. I think you'd be better served by making Additional comments less like a list and more like a narrative, plus you mention oral so many times in your profile that people are going to wonder (sometimes it's code for "my dick doesn't always work") so you might want to at least let your tagline stand alone without explanation.
Other than that, I'd argue with you over Star Wars (which is code for you're wrong) and just suggest you get new photos uploaded by this weekend.
Nice job and good luck!
I implemented some of MsMolly's and Velma's suggestions and my profile ver. 1.03 is already live. I know it's still needs polishing, but it's a step in the right direction. Thank you Ladies
Thank you MsMolly, looks like we are in the same boat. I have to admit though, that sometimes I will use my daughter as an excuse not to drag my ass to the gym and indulge my laziness, but I am sure I am not the only one. I am sure that most people with small kids from time to time have this urge to spend a lazy afternoon watching Netflix
I remember those years. With my first kid, I only had a jogging stroller and occasional half court basketball standing between me and madness. Fortunately, my second kid was way more adaptable and I was able to get back to the gym pretty quickly. Their dad, for the first time in his life, got rather pudgy pretty quickly. I sometimes wondered if, having reproduced, he was unconsciously taking himself out of the running for attracting women.
Anyway, you have my sympathy. Eventually even the most high needs child becomes pretty independent.
For me personally dad bod means that being a dad tires me down and takes a big chunk of my personal time so either I can't go to the gym or I am too exhausted to even put on my workout attire. I even tried taking my daughter with me once and leaving her at the gym day care. She was 2 y.o. at the time and cried for me so much so I couldn't even start my workout. I was doing other things like going on a long walks with her in the stroller, but that wasn't enough compared to weight lifting and cardio at the gym.
This isn't directed at the OP or anyone in particular. I've never liked the term "dad bod". What the fuck is that? What is it about being a father that changes a man's body? Absolutely nothing. A woman's body is physically altered by pregnancy. Dad doesn't have that excuse.
Maybe think of one person while you are composing rather than the many you hope to attract.
Read a lot of profiles to see how others handle talking about themselves and their preferences. You don't need a lot of information - I think I have a half dozen sentences that mention just a few of our interests. You just need to entice; a full bio isn't necessary. It probably took us two or three major re-writes and several additional tweaks until I was generally happy with our profile.
We genuinely want to see you succeed so we're happy to offer advice as long as you need help.
Oh, hey, welcome to being human. Insecurities, worries about being corny, whatever, all that is normal. Do it anyway, in the same way that once your nerves settled a little, you'd do your best to charm the pants off someone you were meeting and interested in.
And your kraken sleeps sometime (even mine usually got in two hours a night), so take your photos then. ;-)
You got me MsMolly. I've always had issues with writing about myself, probably because of my insecurities and trying to be as accurate and sincere as possible, without sounding corny. I feel like It's always better to under promise and over deliver.
Nerdy interests are fine, because we nerds are Legion. Just don't sport a neck beard or wear a baggy Minecraft t shirt in your photos and you'll be fine.
In your posts here, your English is idiomatic and without more than a hint that it's not your native language. So, that's not the explanation for choppiness. I'm guessing that's more about some discomfort with self exposure.
You might want to add something about English not being your native language to the line about your accent - that will help explain any odd phrases that a word processor won't catch.
I'm sure you have interests other than nerdy ones - do you like wine or beer, dancing all night or watching sci-fi movies, playing soccer or watching it on TV? That sort of information gives people something to mention when they send a message (then you know they read your profile) and an idea of common interests.
Profile writing is a process - keep collecting advice and making the tweaks that make sense to you.
Thank you ladies for the great tips. I will try to implement some of them tomorrow. My sentences are choppy because English isn't my native language and I am still working on my vocabulary, grammar and punctuation. It will take some time before i get good pictures of myself because we have a tiny kraken at home and she is stuck to me most of the time, lol. As for my vanilla interests, I wasn't sure if it's a good idea to list something as I am pretty nerdy and It appears that most women in my area doesn't seem interested in nerdy stuff.
If you've read any other reviews here you'll not be surprised that I'm pretty much in agreement with MsMolly and Velma.
I don't knowingly play with a married man unless I'm confident his wife is supportive of his swinging so your pictures would likely have me wondering about your "open" marriage. Get your wife to take a few pictures following Velma's advice, smile even if you obscure your face, make sure your clothes fit well (too big looks just as bad as too tight) and watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background. If you open private or personal galleries without being asked then please organize and label your galleries so we can easily find the face pics while avoiding the dick pics.
Your text looks better than when I first glanced at it last night but I'd probably pass if you popped up in my searches. I like to see a little more vanilla information in Description so I can determine if we'll have anything to talk about - it's not all about sex. Some text could be in different sections so you need a bit of fine tuning also.
SLS doesn't make formatting easy but a conversational paragraph is more appealing than a list of sentences like you have now. And you should probably copy your text into a word processor and run spell check and grammar check to catch the obvious errors and sentence fragments then copy and paste back to SLS.
Good luck and have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
Hi again. First, great tagline. Like, really, it's terrific. Let's bring that effort and intelligence to the rest of your profile though, eh.
Buckle up.
There are a ton of things I like about married men, including that you don't usually have to go in depth about what women like before you get specific about what you like. Because, you know, they live with a woman and even the most unobservant man has been able to figure out a few things. When it comes to profiles, that means I don't usually have to start with the basics: Smile in every photo, have someone else take your photos so that you don't look like a lonely creeper, and if women want the specifics about your dick before they meet you, they'll tell you.
Somehow, you either managed to miss all those easily assimilable lessons or think they don't apply here.
In your case, don't open your personal gallery unless someone asks to see your cock. Some will, most won't. Remove the text in your profile about your dick, because, again, many of us don't fucking care to have prior information unless it's in the nature of a warning ('my cock is often mistaken for a forefinger' or 'stallions are jealous') and are more concerned about the experience than the size and shape of Mr. Willy.
I mean, when's the last time you ran across a woman who wanted to describe the size and shape of her pussy? Do men not realize that if we cared about shit like that, you'd be reading about folds and clitoral size all the fucking time?!
So, now that I've put my soapbox to the side (in case I need it again today, I'm keeping it handy), in Looking For, it's women rather than females for reasons of grammar, and you need complete sentences. Also, unless you're a one and done for each couple or woman, you need to change the wording to indicate that. Because right now, you're all about the build up to one single night of debauchery.
Description is currently choppy and it still doesn't tell me much about you beyond the very superficial. But okay. Just clean up the syntax (you have been in the lifestyle...), drop the part about showing up for dates to Additional comments and put additional blank lines in between paragraphs. And really consider doing a little more to differentiate yourself from the herd. If you're nothing more than a clean, d&d free stunt cock that's fine, but you'll probably have more success if you appear to be a little more rounded. That means talking about yourself some and what you like to do/who you are.
In Additional comments, the only sentences that really forward your interests are the third, fifth and sixth. The fourth sentence, suitably abbreviated to eliminate the bragging about your hands (let your certs do that) probably would be best in Fantasies. Which could also say a little more about your actual experience.
Finally, while I'm usually in agreement with Velma, I'm theoretically less sensitive about dad bods, At the same time most of my male partners over the last few years spend a fair amount of time either at the gym or in other pursuits that result in way more muscle than adipose. I also think it's important to just unselfconsciously rock the bodies we have. So, basically, I think your body is fine so long as you can be charming and interesting and I'm probably not alone there.
Thank you both for the criticism and tips. I am not offended at all. In fact, I am grateful for your "harsh" words and my optimism makes me think that if I can change your opinion a bit, that will give me a better chance, besides you both invested your personal time into sharing your thoughts with me - a complete stranger.
I did realized almost immediately after I registered here that the competition is fierce and I don't have much of a chance, although I have to say that having a great body doesn't guarantee success neither.
I did had a moderate success since I ventured into this, so I guess there is a niche market for hobos like me, lol.
I am working on my body and getting closer to where I want to be, so I am sure that will have an impact in the near future as well.
I opened my other pics, so bring it on, lol
Next, I'm going to talk about swinging in general for single men. You are falling into a trap.
Here's the problem for single men in general. Not only are you competing with every other single man out there, you are competing with our husbands. Think about that. You not only have to be better than every other guy out there, you also have to be better or at least different in a good way, than the man we committed to loving for the rest of our lives. It's a tall order and odds are you are not the exception to the rule.
I'm married to a triathlete and marathon runner who served four combat tours in the Army and then started a software company which he built and then sold a few months ago.
Like... I married an Alpha male... nobody... nobody is ever going to measure up to him... like ever. Now, yeah, I would leave my husband in a heartbeat for Ryan Gosling or Ryan Reynolds, but realistically that's not going to happen.
I know when you started this, you probably thought that swingers were women who would fuck anybody. And that's true in the sense that I used to. But female swingers are far more discriminating than you would think. The fact is that you don't have the kind of body right now that would make you the exception to the rule for most women. Maybe that will change in a few months as you get in shape, but in the mean time you are really going to be frustrated.
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
The other trap is that a lot of guys who have no success dating on OK Cupid or Bumble or whatever turn to swinging because they want to cut through the dating bullshit and just get sex. But the problem is that the personalities that made them unfuckable on regular dating sites also work against them here.
Honestly, my best advice for you is if you want sex, and I hate to say this, SeekingArrangement. Find a young, hot 21 year old Rutgers student who just needs some money for books. It will cost you a little money, but you will get great sex from a woman who is grateful.
I know this isn't the advice you want, but it is that best advice I can give you.
I'm going to say some things that may sound mean. I'm not saying it to be mean, I'm just saying what most people are thinking. You can take my advice and improve your pictures with it.
So my first two thoughts are this:
He can't even tuck in the shitty shirt he bought from Kohl's and there are two towels in his bathroom. Is he married and cheating?
Now, when I started reading though your profile, I realized that you were in an open marriage. Okay, cool. But as a woman I'm never getting that far because the first thing I see are two towels and I think: Okay, this guy is cheating.
And let's talk about towels. This one time I was dating a guy (not my husband) and he invited me over. He had bought a second bath towel because I intended to spend the night. He bragged about his largess and even left the tag on the towel to prove it was new.
Cool, so I get the towel with all of the Chinese factory germs. Awesome.
A man's towels say a lot about him.
So, what I'm saying is that I'm going to judge you on the cleanliness of your bathroom. It looks pretty clean but... you have a dark green and a brown towel. Who the fuck are you married to, Minnie Beets?
Okay, we need to talk about your other picture. It looks like you just took the shirt out of the packaging. It's not even tucked it and I can see the sleeves are too long.
It's just... what are you thinking? I wish I could get in your head and understand why you thought these pictures were the absolute best pictures to show the world.
You need three pictures: A picture of you dressed nicely like you are going on a date. A picture of you shirtless at a beach or a pool and a picture of you doing something interesting like at a ball game or running a 5K. More importantly, you need to have your wife take these pictures. When I see selfies, from a guy, I usually think that they have no friends. For a guy in an "open marriage", I would feel better if it looked like the pictures were taken by the wife.
Even better, get a picture of the two of you together with the wife holding a sign that says: "Bulgaro: Hall pass" or something like that. That would make me feel a lot better.
So get those new pictures and re-post so we can re-review.
Hi. I hope you've read other threads and have some idea of what happens in this section of the forum. It can feel pretty harsh, but it's all kindly meant.
My initial thought was basically eh, not much profile to critique. That's still the case, but maybe we can help you get a better start. First of all, if anyone has a better reason to not have selfies, particularly a dreaded bathroom selfie, it's a man in an open relationship. If that's actually the case, have your significant other take the damn photos, none of them in the bathroom.
In Looking For, try approaching it as a case of what you can do for others instead of what they can do for you. I may be an anomaly, but some guy looking for a "female" to blow his mind is not an attractive proposition, or at least far less attractive than one who wants to blow mine. Generally, it's better to center this section around the people that you're looking for. So, instead of saying you're interested in MFM threesomes, say you're looking for couples.
In Description, "let's talk and I will share more" is just weak. Really? To talk to people, you first have to charm them enough for them to be willing to engage with you, so share more in your profile. You have a decent start, although it leaves a lot of questions begging (if you've been in the lifestyle for five years, why is your profile only a few months old, how would someone verify your open marriage status, stuff like that), but it also misses the mark if your intent is for people to get and stay interested. So, say more about who you are as a person instead of just as a bed mate. We're all unique and it's that uniqueness that intrigues others. Oh, and move the switch thing down to Fantasies, where all things sex related wash up.
In Fantasies, it's probably enough, but if you're okay with vanilla sex, say that too, along with being a switch. And you might consider saying a tiny bit more about what being a switch means to you because it's not something that has a universal meaning. What I mean is that I'm a switch, a piece of information that doesn't appear in my profile, mostly so I don't have to explain the details, but if I had a submission fantasy, I'd probably say something about it in this section.
The last section is your last opportunity to elicit interest and you've left it blank. That's not terribly good marketing. At the very least, perhaps you could use the real estate to explain the missing bits from Description. In any case, end in a way that has a good chance to charm.
I hope you get multiple responses, make some changes and then come back for a review. Good luck.
Hi all, my profile here is relatively new and obviously I don't get much responses. I am aware that there is a lot that has to be done, starting with the way I look, my pictures and my description but I would love to hear your criticism and hopefully I can improve the way I present myself and the outcome. I will open my private and personal galleries for those of you who want to help me
