MsMolly - reinforcing the message is why I do bother - it just gets funny that we seem to think so alike at times. And I know that not everyone looks for single guys like we do so I look at things differently sometimes.
PAW: "Not sure why I bother sometimes..."
I'm really glad you do. I represent just one opinion and can be ignored. If there is a chorus of people saying similar things, the need to listen and possibly make changes is kinda inescapable. I know people come on here asking for advice, but I suspect most of them don't really believe there is anything wrong with what they've written and are looking more for validation than criticism. Since maaaybe 1 in 100 has a nearly perfect profile already, that's a lot of people who need help seeing themselves as others do. And that's a job better accomplished by larger numbers of voices.
As for my supposed eloquence, it is actually just frequently practiced bluntness. I've told so many organizations and individuals harsh things meant to make them change for the better over the years that doing so is just automatic in any setting even sort of similar.
Thanks for the advice and tips, as soon as I am back at my computer and not on my phone I will rework the profile a bit.
Not sure why I bother sometimes as MsMolly usually states my objections to a profile so much more eloquently than I ever could. I feel like I'm just repeating her advice - and usually doing a poor job of it. So consider her advice again and here are a few additional thoughts!
Velma has a great system for core pictures - evidently she's running a race today so search this forum for her DEBauCH method. My advice is much simpler - always smile, avoid selfies (especially bathroom mirror selfies) and be aware of chaos and clutter in the background. If you want to include playtime pictures, nudes or pictures of your manly attributes put them in an appropriately named private gallery and open it only upon request.
Your emphasis on "kinky" play would have me skipping over you so if that is only a part of your interest you might not want to emphasize it quite so much. You can always bring up more of the kinky when you find someone that shares that interest. And it may not be evident but a lot of people on SLS perceive an emphasis on oral skills as an indication of trouble maintaining an erection.
Copying your entire profile text into a word processor on your computer and then running it through spell check and grammar check should catch the most obvious errors - and it is easier to make revisions there since every time you save on the SLS website you have to wait for approval. Not sure if the random capitalizations are for emphasis or to be cute but they just annoy me. Once you are done just copy back to SLS, wait for approval and then verify that the "want smokers/want drinkers" toggles are set properly. You have to fix them after every approval if the default is not your preference. And save your profile text on your computer as a backup.
Good luck & have fun!
~Phoebert's Wife
Please, don’t ever, ever say that you are not “dominate”.
I’m sorry, but that drives me nuts.
Hi and welcome. I looked at your profile last night and decided it was going to take more than the ten minutes I had available. Before I get to my thoughts, you get the standard disclaimer, which is that things said here, however mean-spirited they might feel, are kindly meant and designed to help you in your pursuit of playmates. The critique is of your profile, not you.
So, your tagline is okay. It won't garner you any interest, but it won't turn anyone off either. Eventually, maybe think about using something clever, but in the meantime, the only change you need is to lose that random capitalization of "exploring."
Looking For is the category about the others you're looking for. Yes, the part about seeking friends, etc., does go here, but not centered on you. So, say something about those others and say it in such a way that people can maybe see themselves in this category.
Description is about you, but you've gone a bit astray by only focusing on you as a sexual being. You are and that's why we're all here, but in an environment where sex is a given, the majority of us are actually more interested in how you differentiate yourself as a social person. My advice here is to use fewer iterations of the word "I," lose the random capitalizations, fix your typos (it's too, not to) and say something about who you are and what you like to do. Do you have hobbies? A burning desire to become a hang-glider pilot? Love microbrews? This is the place to let those things surface. Move the sex stuff, with some compression, because it's too long, down into Fantasies or Additional comments.
As to what is there now, the whole "safe...except for anal" thing just lost you pretty much everyone who was willing to give you a look. You're either into safer practices or you aren't. You aren't, so my advice is to not twist people's brains by trying to frame it as if you are.
Fantasies and Additional comments focus on kink to the exclusion of everything else. That's fine, because SLS has a fair number of kinky folks as members, but if kink is your only interest, the pool in which you can find compatible playmates is much smaller than it might be otherwise. If it's not your only interest, then expand what you have to say in a way that includes vanilla activities. Also, cunnilingus is not a kink by any stretch of the imagination, so maybe don't frame it that way. And I'd take out the word "perversions," since that pretty much only includes things that are illegal in most states and carries the appropriate stigma. Perhaps, if this really is a particular interest, you could use the word fetishes instead.
Basically, if kink is your one and only interest, then FetLife is probably a better fit for you. If you're open to vanilla play, SLS is your friend, but your profile has to reflect that and it doesn't now.
What it also doesn't reflect is a pass through spell check. And it definitely shows, in a way that doesn't do you any favors.
As far as your photos, I pretty much dislike all of them, but I'm out of time. If you're lucky, Velma will have some energy left after today's marathon and will explain her method for photographic success. If not, just grab a few threads in this section at random and see what she has to say.
Good luck.
Hello all,
I just joined the site last night after one of my mates told me about it. I have thrown together a kind of bare bones profile but would like some help. A bit of info about me, My name is Micheal, I am 35, Over the last year i have lost quite a bit of weight [90lbs]. I have been in a few threesomes that started on Craigslist and an swingers ap but this is my first website. I am the type of cat that likes to be friends and as such have been in a long running relationship with one couple I met locally for just over two years now.
I am very open minded when it comes to sexual things and will try just about anything once. I have filled out so many dating profile's on different apps that I am kind of burnt out on adding information to these things, And with little luck in the single pool, I would appreciate feedback on what kind of things to fill in here.
I respect all rules and try to gather as much information as possible as to the other persons likes, dislikes, whats expected and whats not allowed. I practice absolute honesty and as such tend to speak my mind, I tend to take my time to pick my words as to not offend, I am also very laid back and go with the flow, I am not dominate nor am i submissive.
I appreciate any suggestions and feedback,
Thank you
