Nicely done! I had looked at your profile earlier but didn't have time to comment - but it looks like you didn't need my input.
If we were looking for couples and were near you I'd definitely be sending you a message!
~Phoebert's Wife
Hi. I think it's a big improvement. I still have some quibbles - your tagline is now repeating something that is in Description, if by clean you mean disease free say so and otherwise leave it out, because it's not like dirty people are going to show up, and put extra line breaks in between your paragraphs - but it's really good and I think it does a good job of making you approachable.
Maybe don't use the business close of " don't hesitate to contact, etc." though, finding something more personal and personable.
So, new photos and I think you're set. Good luck!
Thank you for all of the suggestions!
I have updated again. Let me know how it looks now.
I do need more pictures & I will work on that.
Hi and welcome. I'm probably going to sound mean as I go through your profile. I'm sorry about that and hope you keep in mind that I'm talking about your profile rather than you - I'm sure you're great - and the purpose of the bluntness is to get you to eliminate things that might come between you and the kind of sex you're looking for.
I see only one photo, so I'm guessing you eliminated the others. What you have is great and I hope both of you smile in whatever replacement photos you add back in.
You might want to think about your age range. He is either 56 or 57, depending on where I look, so you're going from 18 years younger to three years older, suggesting that at least one of you is uncomfortable with aging and think sexy stops at 60. It's not a great look, you know?
Your tagline should be short and either clever or sincere and designed to induce people to open your profile and read more about you. What you have here doesn't do that.
Looking For is meant to be about who you're looking for and what you're looking for. The way to write it is to center it around those other people in such a way that they can maybe see a place for themselves in your search, if that makes sense.
In Descriptions, don't bother iterating things that are better handled with your stats and photos. It's just a waste of words, like someone reading you their PowerPoint presentation. Also, do not use personal pronouns like I and my. It's always we/he/she, because this is about you as a couple even if only one of you is handling all on line communications.
You've also mentioned your marital security twice and while that's an important thing for the two of you, it doesn't really belong here. The reason is a little counterintuitive, but basically it boils down to how we don't actually talk about the things we're totally sure about. So, in a completely secure relationship, talking about how secure you are is like talking about the sun coming up tomorrow. Neither one needs to be said and if you do mention them, well, maybe you're not so sure?
Anyway, instead of what you have, talk more about yourselves as a couple, because that's how you'll be doing this. Who are you? What are some of the things you like to do together? How are you unique and interesting?
In Fantasies, your first line makes no sense. You have a similar syntax error in Additional comments as well. Fantasies will be fine if you fix the error, although not talking about a fantasy or two in non-graphic terms loses you the chance to have someone read it and say, oh, yeah, that's one of mine too, maybe I should write them! Additional comments would benefit from something else there instead, because you really want to end on a high note and this isn't it.
Anyway, good luck. I hope you make a few changes and then come back for a review. I suspect you're a terrific couple and you're profile could do a better job of showing that!
It's not bad, you guys seem excited and fun. The pics need to be changed though. The one of you guys together looks fun. The others...
Ok, so you've only been on for a few weeks. This stuff will take time.
I normally review pictures. I opened a private gallery for you to see the kinds of pictures you should have,
I usually tell people to follow the DEBauCH method. That is - a picture of you two dressed up like you are going on a DATE. A pic of you two at an EVENT. A pic at the BEACH or the pool, a picture of the CHICK and a picture of HIM.
I think you need to delete every picture except the picture of you two together at... maybe it's a concert? Keep that. The other pictures aren't very flattering, and there is nothing sexy about a guy in a messy bathroom.
I usually change out my pictures every two weeks. I'm going to Florida tomorrow, so watch this space and learn.
I want you to take 4 more pictures - I want you to go out to a nice dinner and ask the waitress to take a full body picture. Go out again on a different date and hake a full body picture of the girl and one of the guy. If you get a chance to go to a pool or the beach, get a picture there - it's a way to tastefully show off your body.
Text wise - unless the lady half wants to vomit in her mouth at the thought of kissing another girl, change her to "Bi Curious." Girls can do gay shit as in kiss and smoosh boobs and we aren't punsihed by society for it. This totally makes up for the gender wage gap.
But anyway, you'll get more attention if she is "bi curious."
I would also change your profile text and eliminate the "I am this, she is that." I get a little scared when I see that a profile was obviously written by the man. I realize I am in the minority here in that I am on the site WAY more than my husband, but I like to see "We" instead of I.
Don't describe yourselves as in "He has a bit of a gut." Let the pictures do the talking.
You also may want to up the age limit to maybe 65.
Make the text changes, take the pictures and re-post so we can re-review.
I've just updated our profile a little. Please take a look and let me know how it looks. Any & all help will be appreciated :)
