Please review

He was right. Once you've agreed to negotiate, the outcome is not in doubt. Only the terms for getting there.

Which reminds me of that horny old reprobate Benjamin Franklin's view on negotiation.

"Neither a fortress nor a virgin can hold out for long, once they begin to negotiate."

Er, I almost always agree with Velma, but not on this one. Unless we have a prior agreement that you may treat my body like you pay the mortgage on it, I will react really badly to being told what to do.

I'm pretty easy to negotiate with, though. ;-)

Good to know...

Wanna fuck?

You make the classic mistake most men make. Don't ask a woman to fuck. Tell her to.

"Because common interests are a way to make people reach out to you. Someone can ask you “what’s your favorite place to do karaoke” or “where do you like to travel?”

That works if you would be interested in doing karaoke or traveling together, but yeah, okay, let's talk about what we like to do, but not do it together so we can establish if we find enough about each other to want to fuck.

"There’s a reason my default pic has me in cycling gear with my tits hanging out. I want other cyclists and triathletes to notice me."

Is that a Yeti SB 6 or 5.5 series? No, I don't really care, but your tits make me want to cum on them. Wanna fuck?

~Allen

"There’s a reason my default pic has me in cycling gear with my tits hanging out. I want other cyclists and triathletes to notice me."

I assure you, they're not the only ones who notice you. I like cycling and although I didn't notice the cycling gear, your tits hanging out certainly did not go unnoticed.

Dammit. It appears you're out of my league. Sometimes it really sucks being a tricyclist and a try-athlete.

They certainly are amazing

fuck, why would anyone care you like karaoke, riding horses, traveling etc

Because common interests are a way to make people reach out to you. Someone can ask you “what’s your favorite place to do karaoke” or “where do you like to travel?”

There’s a reason my default pic has me in cycling gear with my tits hanging out. I want other cyclists and triathletes to notice me.

And it helps to have amazing tits too.

“Looking for couples with bi-females, single females for girl play or group play. Also, looking for people who know how to use toys on women for those go to orgasms.”

What does the quoted below have anything to do with what you are looking for if you are only looking for sex?

“We dance, drink German beer, sing bad karaoke, go to beer gardens and ride horses. We joke, play dress up and look forward to meeting new and interesting people.”

“She loves horseback riding, traveling and lots of German beer. He loves adventure races, traveling and is a chatterbox. “

“We both love going to concerts, being outdoors and head to Atlanta when we can.”

Think about it, if you just want to fuck, why would anyone care you like karaoke, riding horses, traveling etc if they aren’t going to be doing those things with you as well.......

I didn’t get to see the original, yet something makes me glad I didn’t.

~Allen

We agree with everything that's been said. You're looking for human sex toys.

It's a thing... we get it. It's not our thing though. If it's your thing own it and enjoy.

I'm not accusing you of malice or ill intent, but in the same way that weirdos don't know they're weirdos or those who bring the drama think it's the fault of other people, folks whose only real interest is in their own fantasies don't fully grasp that others aren't in service to those fantasies.

I've seen two versions of your profile now and in neither is there any indication that you are looking for three dimensional people with their own desires, needs and fantasies that have to be respected. Instead, it's all about you. That could be incredibly poor communication skills, but since you seem sufficiently articulate to me, I'm guessing that's not the source of the disconnect.

As njny points out, though, there are people out there who are only interested in some reasonably slippery action with suitably hot people and nothing more, so hot couple seeks hot couple for hot sex is a perfectly valid demographic segment.

Hi,

Thank you for your input. We are looking to make new friends and try new things. We are not looking to dehumanize anyone. This is just so weird to put out there.

I'm struggling with this, because having read two iterations of your profile I don't believe you're looking for more than ambulatory sex toys and I'm not sure I want to help you obscure that central disconnect. Like most single women, I've had encounters (two or three, but one is too many) with folks whose only interest was in their fantasies and the sex was...not good. Actually, it was dehumanizing in addition to being bad and not something I'd wish on anyone else.

However, there are people with different standards for playmates and they might like you. So, here's my advice: Looking For is the place where you talk about the kind of people you're looking for and the kind of adventures you're looking to have with those people. Description is the place where you talk about yourselves. It's not a great advertisement when you use both to talk about yourselves.

Good luck.

Ok, let us know when you get some more pictures up.

Couple seeks adult fun with mature adults who must be fun and orgasmic.

I'm not crazy about this line. It kind of sounds like that old "Sister Mary Elephant" skit from Cheech and Chong:

"The first day on my vacation, I woke up. Then I went downtown to look for a job. Then I hung out in front of the drugstore."

Maybe something like:

"We're an amazing couple who can't wait to take our next awesome adventure with you! Everybody wants a fun couple... but we also want you to be enjoyable, entertaining and orgasmic! We certainly are!

Hi all,

We redid the profile, added pics, and we will do bikini pics this weekend when we go up to Atlanta for our Trapeze visit.

Thanks!

Hi and welcome. I really like your profile photo. The next one not so much; it's static and doesn't have much visual appeal.

As far as your profile, it's - there's no nice way to say this - massively unappealing. You are not advertising a job. You are not shopping for sex toys. You are looking for actual, real people with whom to share sexual adventures. The word "must," accompanied by a list of qualifications, has no place in the search for playmates. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt couldn't get away with it, just to give you a gauge.

Also, "clean" indicates that unless you specify otherwise, dirty people will show up.

As you rewrite Looking For, try to imagine the kind of people you might be interested in (and who might be interested in you).

In Description, turn that into a narrative, without the distracting Male describing, etc. Actually, the only interesting bits are the last two sentences, because they make you sound like fun people (I think it's the word "chatterbox," which is charming and not usually seen in this context).

Fantasies is okay, but group play and lack of interest in full swap isn't a combination most people are interested in. It's just too complicated to remember the limits of others in the scrum that is group play. Unless you just mean four people in the same bed. That's doable, but isn't usually referred to in that way.

Collect whatever information you get here, make whatever changes seem appropriate, and then maybe ask to have your profile reviewed again.

Good luck.

To start, you two are very new, so some of this stuff is forgivable.

Picture wise, your pictures are OK, but you have no face pictures in your private section. This is an automatic "no" for us and I'm not going to KIK or Text pictures to you. You need face pictures in the private section. This is an automatic veto from me.

You should have at least two more pictures - one of the two of you dressed up like you are going out to dinner and maybe one more of the female half in a bikini at the beach or the pool. Never have more than 10 pictures.

Regarding your text... you're new here so you probably aren't used to my bluntness. I don't say this shit to be a bitch, I say it because it's what people are thinking. I will help you get this right, but you need to put on your big boy pants and listen.

First of all, it's mostly men who look at the profiles, but it's women who veto. So when I'm reading your profile, I'm looking for reasons to reject you.

I am not entirely convinced the male half is 214 lbs. My husband is 5'8", 210. He's not an adventure racer, but he is a triathlete. (In fact, the two of us will be down in Hilton Head in a few weeks to race in the Beach Bum Triathlon). Based on the picture with the male half in the blue shirt, the male half looks a little chubby. Maybe it's the angle of the pic taken in the blue shirt, but you don't look 214 lbs. Either have better pictures taken or put in accurate weights.

So I've already vetoed you there because I think you are fudging your weight.

The profile in general sounds like a man trying to get his wife to swing. You are also very negative in telling us what you don't want. When I see stuff like "must be clean, discreet and athletic" I always get that little voice of doubt in my mind wondering whether I am good enough. I rode 20 miles on the bike this morning, but I'm not 110 pounds? Am I athletic enough? Do you mean "super skinny" or do you mean "athletic" because Olympic level athlete or not, I will leave your wife in the dust on a bike and probably in the water as well.

So if you don't want people like me, keep "athletic" in there. If you are okay with slim thick bitches like me, Kim Kardashian and Elastigirl, then take it out. But you are self-eliminating pretty much everyone who isn't super-skinny. Good luck with that

"No weirdos"

That line has never once made a weirdo not contact someone.

"no anal"

She doesn't know what she's missing.

So in the end, this kind of sounds like a guy who is trying to get his wife to swing. When I see the lack of face pictures in private section, this just confirms my theory because I feel like you are probably a good husband, so you are respectful enough not to put her face up on the internet on a swinger site. But this does make me wonder if she even knows this is up.

If you want my advice, rewrite your profile with an accent on the positive. Add a few pictures of you doing something interesting such as visiting the beach, going to a sporting event, rock climbing, whatever. It's good that you list some hobbies. Explain a little more about them. I call these "hooks" so that people will be "hooked" into writing you if they have something in common.

So make the changes and repost and we will review again.

Hi all,

Please review our profile.

Any thoughts?