New Profile critique Request

Hi. I'm still on vacation, but I made the foolish decision to let my hair air dry, so I have some free time.

Are you willing to make a few more changes? Because if you are, Looking For is still a bit of a mess, Description is rather large relative to what you have in the other sections, and you have way more typos and syntax errors than you want in something meant to appeal to others.

You can handle that last by running it through a robust spell check and then reading the entire thing aloud to catch missing and misplaced words. For the other two issues, I have some suggestions. Don't bother using up profile real estate on things like body shapes that are best shown in photos and move information about play styles, discretion, and sex related things (other than the kink, because that does belong in Descriptions) but do give a some time to talking about your other pursuits. I haven't looked at your photos, but if you ride, say something about that, for instance.

In Looking For, maybe try complete sentences and if you are also interested in solo women, say something about that.

For bdsm, you can say a little about what you're into or not, but it's helpful that if it's not a necessary part of your play with others to say so, in the same fashion you've handled the issue of guy/guy opportunities.

Or leave everything but your typos the way it is now, because your charm comes through regardless.

Good luck.

VelmaAndShaggy. mid Feb as of right now but they are still getting things set

Funny-so are we. We’re going to be there for the Bahamas marathon in Nassau from the 15th until the 22nd. When will you be there?

So we are heading to Nassau Island in the Bahamas in just over a month, so we are going to get a lot of new photos. will take all the suggestions into account when doing new photos, This should be a lot of FUN!!!

Re: Bicurious - Say that it's just a curiosity then. I'm glad to offer some wordsmithing if you're struggling with how to express it. Btw, kudos for being open. You'll run into plenty of guys who keep that on the down-low because of the stigma that's attached to it. You may actually find more playmates as a result of being more open, if the stories on here are to be believed.

On pics: First, Velma is the guru here. She's got a great method, and if you'll take a look at the pics in the gallery she opened you'll get some great ideas of what you can do. Velma has an awesome stance (contrapossto) that really works well to flatter those who don't have the physique of Adonis or Aphrodite, but like naked sweaty bedroom Olympics.

Having said that, based on what I'm seeing in your profile I think we're part of your target audience, so I'm going to share what I'd find more interesting (as would the Mrs, we have very similar tastes): I actually like the latest pics you've added, though you only need one in each outfit. I'm really liking the one where he's kissing the side of her head in the baseball cap. That would be Mrs C's attention as well because it's flattering but also sweet. I also really like the last pic of the Mrs in the black outfit, but blur out the stuff over her shoulder because it's distracting. Choose the best, and make sure you keep those smiles.

I'd make new pics a priority, and definitely get some assistance. Velma's DEBauCH method is really easy to follow, so I'd make it a point to get dressed up and go out this weekend to get the D part taken care of (feel free to giggle at the D jokes that logically follow that). Get fancied up, go somewhere nice, and get some folks to take pics of you. Make sure you stand right, and have them take a bunch! Have a bunch of people take a bunch...digital film is cheap :D

You've made me relook our galleries, and it's time for an update for ourselves as well. Our profile pic will be a year old on NYE, so time for some new ones!

@foreverfuncouple4u, Thank you! we Are working on our pictures and will be using a lot of the suggestions, it's difficult going thru our pictures as 99% are with family and those are usually the best ones we have. The bike pics were from a recent trip and I thought they would be a good addition to show what we are interested in.
We are are taking in all the critiques and see a definite improvement in our profile since implementing them. We really appreciate everyone taking the time to check out our profile and write about the good and the bad.

@CatchyNickname, Awesome Thank You, question about the pictures: would you suggest removing ones that show more than just Us until we get some more to really showcase US?
Tagline: will work on it. great idea
Bi curious: had seen that MOST in the swinger lifestyle really are not into Bi so we didn't want to put too much out there, Bi curious as Iv never actually done anything, that's not a make or break issue with us, we could just find someone for that specific interest elsewhere
Pet Peeve: easy fix. got it and its a good point thanks

@Esperanza911, Thank you, we seriously don't want to be generic as we are not a cookie cutter couple.

I'm late to the party, but it's been a busy few weeks. Disclaimer applies - This is all meant to help.

YAY for not wanting to appeal to everyone! A generic profile with generic pics will get you dozens of contacts a week, but the odds of finding a match are no better than you'd get if you searched profiles yourself.

Keep the beard. Do it your way. If it rules people out, so be it. It could just as easily be bald heads, hairy bushes, 10 inch peckers, tattoos or a hairlip...everyone has things about them that turn people off and turn others on. We won't play with clean-shaven men because the Mrs. doesn't like the feel of 5 o'clock shadow on her girly bits...it ruins it for her. You rock the fuck out of what you have and like, because it's all going to be visible when the drawers hit the floor.

I don't like any of your pics except the main profile pic. The smiles in the main pic are awesome. That will draw people in. I'd lose the year-stamp, as we're about to go into 2020, with the caveat that you better show up looking like that. if not, take a new one. The rest aren't flattering, and unless you're in a poly relationship with mailboxes or motorcycles they also don't promote yourselves well.

Your tagline is generic. That's the second or third thing that catches a profile viewer's eye, depending on if it's a man or woman (Screen Name and Pic are the other two). It doesn't draw people in, but it doesn't chase them away either. You talk about humor being important, so put yours on display. Start with something funny! Plagarize if you must, but don't do it from local profiles.

There's a lot of generic elements scattered through the remainder, enough so it comes across bland overall. It's a shame because those are great smiles that probably have great senses of humor and a bunch of originality to go with them.

You'd probably serve yourselves well if you shared a bit more about his Bi side. Orally bi? Top? Bottom? Switch? Doesn't care who gives the blow job? Truly Curious? You're already ruling out a large section of the homophobic swinger world, but those that are bi would want to know more. Those that aren't homophobic but identify as straight will probably feel more comfortable if they know your preferences ahead of time. Hearing you respect boundaries is one thing, but some don't, so knowing what you're getting into may make it more comfortable for your playmates.

Pet peeve: The bit about "As with most guys..." is a huge turn-off for some. There's a fair amount of couples that AREN'T into watching the girls play, then the guys join in. Speak to your own personal preferences without making generalizations. You'll end up with a more inclusive feel to your profile.

Why is it a turn-off? Some couples that are seeking unicorns are really searching for a FFM or FMF experience, and they'll fuck the guy in a couple to get it. I don't want to feel like an afterthought, or the "guy I have to fuck to get to her". We've been in situations where , at one time or the other, we both felt like we were the one-being-taken-for-the-team and they're horrible experiences. Any hint of that and it's an automatic NO from us, even when we like your smiles and find you interesting.

The rest of the profile seems a bit disjointed, but has a lot of good elements in it. I agree that a word processor would help. This is going to sound hypocritical given the length of our profile (it's wordy on purpose), but I'd shorten it up a TON. Get it short, sweet, and to the point, then make it pop.

Looking forward to the next iteration!

While we did not read all of the other replies, most come from people that commented on our pics and profile and they yielded excellent suggestions!! We went from the better part of 6 months of no one having any interest in us to getting 5-10 new couples reaching out on a weekly basis in the past two months!! So listen to them! We used Velma/Shaggy's pic rubric and it really turned out well. Also sprinkled in some of our own creativity, especially with our nudes but then we also sought feedback from a few of those posting here. People seem to love them. If you want a better idea, please feel free to message us and we can show you more of us to help illustrate the point.

Now for our blunt and honest impression...

The pics need the most work. While the eyes are obstructed, your primary profile pic looks like she might be a little uncomfortable/nervous when looking at the mouth/neck muscles/eyebrows. While I'm into fast cars/bikes myself, the pics on the bikes aren't really drawing us in. Beautiful machines but we want to see more of you. But if that's how you define yourselves, by all means keep them. ...same goes for Optimus Prime. Decent body outline but pretty far away.

Your text is better. Gives us an idea of what you are looking for and who you are as a couple/in the LS. If you were closer, it'd be enough to grab our interest and message you.

Good luck!!

Phobert, good info on age range thank you, I have been working since 13 (single parent 4 kids) and ok shaving at 17.
Just trying to get a good solid profile going

Hotluvrs, great tips for the pics, I have never really cared about photo’s until her and recently have attempted to take better ones

You’re going to get some differing opinions here. Current pictures are always best, but we have no problem with pictures a few years old. Heck, even five years is ok with us as long as we see updated pics before we meet.

Every picture tells a story. The picture with the two of you in a hug (she has on a yellow shirt) is the best pic you have. It’ says that you are fun, happy people, and that you really care for each other.

Some of your other pics need some help, either major cropping or exposure adjustments. For example, take the picture with you both standing behind a bike. Try cropping that so that most of the bike and the helmet disappear. That would put more emphasis where it should be, on you.

"I am giggling that he is 45, and your age range caps at 45, but goes back 20 years. Fascinating."

MsMolly or I usually say something about an age range like that - MsMolly is on vacation and I think all the emphasis on kink fried my brain for any detailed analysis of the OPs profile. The OPs comment here about having been clean shaven for 30 years because of work also caught my eye - I'm thinking shaving and working at age 15 might be a bit young but I don't have a clue about when guys start shaving.

HNjust4fun - an age range such as yours will tend to have women near your own age saying "nope" while rolling their eyes. Generally an age preference that is a bit more balanced (your ages in the middle) will entice more people to actually read your profile. You can always turn people down if you don't feel any attraction to anyone over 45 but you might be surprised.

VelmaAndShaggy
(H) Hubby actually went thru and added dates to last years pictures,
the One pic with his face not blurred out was a mistake he chose the wrong picture (fixed)
Hubby's look..... I think he is sexy as he is and I love his look, we aren't trying to appeal to everyone. If we appeal to you Great if not OK
Than being said just like us ladies he changes his look as situations change

(N) Velma, we really appreciate the suggestions. I am at a point in my life where I don't want or feel the need to be completely clean shaven at all times, I did that for 30 years of work life.
I am in a different stage of my life and am trying new things and looks, also in the last few years I have been loosing quite a bit of weight and was always clean shaven. I look back on those pictures and shutter to think I was a hundred pounds heavier than I am now. (head shake)
I shave when needed and may get back to the point of a full shave daily but for now I am good and happy, also I don't go full shaggy for more than a few days I do upkeep.

We are on a journey of constant improvement of ourselves as individuals and as a couple.

we have been talking about doing a photo shoot with different looks and your suggestion push's the point.

once again Thank You for the input and we have taken notes :)

I think it’s a little better, but some of the pictures were obviously taken in 2018.

That isn’t that much of a problem now, but it’s going to be a problem three years from now. I strongly suggest that you have a photo shoot complete with outfit changes.

I also think it’s weird when people have their faces covered some of the time, but not all of the time. It makes me think that the person has all their pictures because they started with covered faces and then moved away from that when they felt more comfortable.

We also need to talk about the male’s facial hair.

I get the look you’re trying to go for. It’s fine if you want to have that look. You do you boo. But you need to realize that if you choose to have that kind of facial hair and look like a biker, You will only appeal to a limited set of people.

It’s up to you. Women modify their bodies all the time in inconvenient ways to be more appealing to men.

Do you think I like shaving my legs? No. It’s a pain in the ass especially now when it’s winter and I know that I can go without it. But I do it anyway because that’s what society expects of me and I know my husband would bitch at me if I didn’t.

You will get more interest if you were clean shaven.

Have updated our profile, changed some pictures, we will have to take more to follow the suggestions below

VelmaAndShaggy & PhoebertAndWife

Thank you very much!! a lot of good info and suggestions

we will get on the changes right away

Two things stand out to me about your profile - it appears that you're hoping to place an order and you're really into kink. The many specifics listed in Looking For is off-putting - no one wants to feel like they are a menu item. There is no way for me to decide if I might like to meet you - without going back to examine your text all I remember is the kink. I like to see mostly personality and vanilla information in Description and fairly general sexual information in Fantasies/Experience. All the details can be shared once you make a connection with someone - now you are just giving people more reasons to say no.

Velma's DEBauCH system is great for core pictures for your public gallery. Remember to smile, watch for clutter or visual chaos in the background and avoid selfies. I'm not sure any of your current pictures are doing you any favors.

I think you need to sit down and rewrite with an emphasis on swinging rather than on kink. You'll find couples here that also enjoy kinky activities but right now non-kinky couples are probably saying no and moving on. Use a word processor and run spell check and grammar check to help eliminate sentence fragments and random capitalizations.

After your updated profile is approved let us know if you'd like more advice.

Good luck and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

So, a couple of things. First off, I'm not saying stuff to me mean or bitchy. I just say what people think.

I think MsMolly is on vacation right now, but I can try to do double duty here of text and pictures.

First, I opened a private gallery for you to show you the pictures you should have. Remember the DEBauCH method. You need five core pictures: A DATE Picture, an EVENT picture, a BEACH (or pool) picture, a picture of the CHICK and a picture of him.

Your current pictures are kind of ... meh. I don't know why you have a picture of the male half bent over like he's about to be searched. Then you have a picture of the lady half bent over the same way, but with a paddle.

So you into BDSM? There is some crossover between BDSM and Swinging, but it's tenuous because swingers love their liquor and you can't do a scene if someone has had a few drinks.

I'm also not crazy about the male half's facial hair. The male half looks like he has a kind of a scraggly beard. Maybe it's the way you blurred faces... which incidentally makes you look like you came from a David Cronenberg movie. Just use a black line. The way you are blurring faces now kind of makes the two of you look facially deformed.

Look at the private gallery I opened for you and follow those instructions.

Second, you really need to write your profile on a computer. You have numerous spelling and grammar errors. About 20% of the women in the LS are teachers, including me, and we will VETO you if we see a spelling error. You have a lot of instances where random words are capitalized and you have commas instead of periods. Find them and correct them. Stuff like:

He Prefers:

Super Vanilla

we enjoy Breath play

, As a couple together we enjoy Breath play,

prefer Soft swap

I just noped the fuck out at this line. You are not choking me. Maybe refine it to say "you don't have to be but as a couple we enjoy breath play."

NOT INTO: scat, waterworks, disrespect, pain or humiliation

Ok, so you talk about the kink thing but then say no pain? WTF? Also... I've been doing this for ... maybe 5 years and never once had a guy ask to pee on me. Just take it out. It doesn't happen.

So take some new pictures, clean up your text and repost so we can re-review.

Hey Ladies and Gents
we are New to SLS and are working on our profile, we would like it to be as good as possible. if you have a couple min to spare we would really appreciate you checking us out and giving some feedback

1. we have added a cal more pics (waiting for approval)
2. she will be writing a better description of me