New guy here

Wow thanks this was a lot more constructive than I thought it'd be. Especialy from Golly, living up to the name! Think I'll take a step back rethink things and maybe start over some other time. Thanks for the help

He did say “portfolio”; that alone should either draw mass confusion from readers or get him laid quickly.

~Allen

Velma is on a class trip in Baltimore and is too busy watching over dumb-ass teachers to offer advice right now.

In short, scrape your face with a razor and stop taking selfies. I’ll write more later if I survive today.

Oh, and please use spell check on everything you do here.

Hi. Apply to SLS groups that allow single men (there are some), particularly in your area, and then research what clubs within 100 miles allow single men. Usually, even when that's true, it isn't every night, so research is really your friend. Advice is to be patient, be open to meeting people even if you aren't sure you're attracted, bring your company manners everywhere, don't send unsolicited photos of your dick, don't be spineless but do let others set the pace (aka don't be pushy), do be charming. Even though you're straight, leave your profile a tiny bit open to other men, who might be your best allies in networking.

As far as your profile, it isn't a trash fire, but it's not exactly putting your best foot forward either.

For photos, selfies are not your friend. They're not even a frenemy. Please kill them. If Velma shows up and gives you advice on photos, do what she says. If she doesn't, then have people take photos of you smiling, with consistent facial hair, fully dressed unless you're at the beach, at least one showing you from head to toe. It helps to have those photos taken with you doing interesting things or in front of interesting backgrounds.

As far as the rest of your profile, unless you develop an interest in MFM threesomes, clubs are your best bet. It's not that there aren't women who swing as singles, but most are not on line. They're also the smallest group, where you're a member of the largest. So, by expressing so little interest in couples, you're definitely cutting your chances of meeting people to something smaller than I imagine you would like, at least in terms of sex generated first on line.

For what you have in each section, it's so sparse as to be nearly useless. Oh, and this is the place where I remind you that while we might say mean things here, the purpose is actually benign. We want you to get laid and bluntly point out what's getting in the way of that. Anyway, there isn't enough content for me to suggest corrections to what you have, so I'm just going to tell you what to put in each section. Come back for a review once you've actually put in enough to look at.

Looking For is about those people you're looking for. You can't toggle complete interest in women and barely any in couples and not say more about it. So, who are you looking for (no, "fun people" is not enough)? What do you want them for (FWB, friends, one magical night)? Why do you want them? Make it about those people who might be looking at your profile and wondering if you might be a match. This isn't the place to talk about yourself, except tangentially.

Description is the place to talk about yourself. I'm going to need to know more. Who are you? Why would I say yes to you? Odd as it might sound, what gets you noticed isn't anything sexual - sex is commonplace around here - and instead it can often be your ability to be interesting and relatable to others. Even for a one off, many of us are still looking for people with whom we can connect. So, you have the beginnings of "who are you?" answered, but you need to do more. What do you like to do? What are your interests? What makes you the special person you are? Don't be exhaustive, but do be thorough. Give others a chance to know you a little.

Fantasies is pretty much a fail. You can certainly write that you're interested in fulfilling the fantasies of others, but don't lose this next chance to be relatable. Why are you on a swinger site? There must be a story there somewhere. Tell it. Not graphically, not encyclopedically, but do tell it.

Additional comments - You're mostly looking for women and women generally don't message. Not that it never happens, but don't wait for it and don't use valuable profile real estate to express your willingness to participate in this rare event. Do end on a high note, though.

Good luck and I hope you come back with more.

Hey, Im new to the lifestyle and was wondering the do's and don'ts, slang, and overall my portfolio quality. Was also wondering the easiest way to network with people and getting into clubs/groups. Thanks!