My first steps

I know I’m a little late and really just all but gave up on helping with profiles, but I have a couple things to point out.

“There are plenty of cougars who enjoy role play and others who also enjoy breaking in young men. Don't believe that they don't exist.”

Mrs. 888 is one of them. She loves a strong cocked young man she can mold and share amongst our closest lifestyle friends. She has a 24 and 22 yr VERY appreciative young men she’s working on. So yeah, those couples do exists.

Also, having your profile open to other guys need no explaining, that’s just as silly as refreshing other’s memory that you’re straight throughout your profile; just set it low bar because the social aspect with other males can be critical in communicating, finding other couples and things such as help achieving other invites and play.

Good luck OP!

~Allen

Now i see what you guys are seeing, I was was just using my phone to set everything up some days i forget we have these things called computers and laptops. I will begin working as soon as im done with this post! Be patient and give me a few days for the changes, i will work on in a little bit each day and check in with everyone in a couple of days. Once again thanks again for all your advice.

I'm not sure I remember what your profile looked like originally and I'm not sure why I didn't comment. Maybe because I just want to reach through the computer and slap you upside the head (mostly because your profile reminds me of someone else who really needs the slap upside the head). Don't take anything I say personally - it is all about your profile.

Dump all your pictures except maybe the one with the white background - it's not great but will do. Selfies rarely look good and yours aren't good ones. I don't want to see a shirtless picture unless it makes sense - beach or pool usually. I don't use the camera on my phone but surely they have timers and there are contraptions that will hold the phone and work like a tripod - that's what you need to do if you can't talk a friend into taking a few pictures. Velma has a great system for core pictures - pay attention to what she says. As others have noted - clutter in the background is very distracting so watch for that. Be sure to always smile - it makes a big difference.

Copy all your profile text into a word processor on your computer and make some changes. Don't repeat information that is in your stats (age, weight, etc.) - it is too easy for things to get out of synch (your weight already doesn't match). Rework the top interests portion - make it a paragraph like the rest of your profile. I'm not sure what's causing the multiple question marks - I think I've heard that trying to use emojis while composing on a phone will do that. Please don't call the ladies you might be interested in "single females" - female is not a noun. You definitely need to pare down the Description section, add at least one fantasy in the Fantasy section and not repeat yourself in the Additional Comments section. You're young and inexperienced - your profile can be short and sweet. Reread the advice MsMolly already gave you and do another rewrite.

You have a lot of grammar and spelling issues - when done run the spell check and grammar check to catch most of them. Reading the text out loud will also help find punctuation problems (incomplete thoughts and run-on sentences). Once your profile says what you want and spelling & grammar are corrected then copy the text back to SLS. After your profile changes are approved go back and verify the "want smokers/want drinkers" settings are correct - most people need to change from the defaults after every profile approval but as long as you change nothing else no additional approval is needed.

Good luck!

~Phoebert's Wife

You have done a pretty good job cleaning up the profile. Continue to work on complete sentences, grammar, etc. Show a little artistic flare in how you write the profile. If indeed you are creative let us see it.

You definitely want to list at least one or two or your preferences or fantasies. Don't be afraid to let the kink out. Believe it or not there are couples out there who will fit what you are looking for. Help them find you.

Velma is right about the pictures. I have problems seeing the clutter on the shelf behind you in your default pic. Find a clutter free background and use the timer function on your camera app. Don't go rock climbing if you might fall and die. However, definitely get one or two that capture your personality.

You have done a good job over all compared to where the profile was. The reason I brought up the issue is that many young men approach LS ladies and couples as though it was a porno or short story. Continue to find ways to separate yourself from the average young sm out there. Respect, courtesy, and articulate messages go a long way in helping you in that regard. Be patient.

Please take new pictures - and not selfies. That last picture looks like what I would see after I come to after a night of clubbing and I realize that I’m tied up in a stranger’s basement.

Seriously. Get a pic of you dressed in a suit with no tie at a nicer bar drinking something brown. Get a pic of you rock climbing or doing a 5K. Get a pic of you at a pool or the beach. Do in pronto.

You have a community college Psycology Major who works at a comic book store look about you. Maybe consider ditching the beard?

Go to Men’s Warehouse and buy two pairs of slacks- khaki and grey. Buy a white shirt and a blue shirt and buy a blue blazer. Go to Ross and buy a brown belt and shoes. You can go anywhere with an outfit like this.

Listen-if I didn’t care about you getting late I wouldn’t even suggest anything. Please take my advice.

I definitely don't think swinging is anything like porn. I don't believe the couples and individuals on here are like that at all this is nothing like, everyone who shared with me seemed very intelligent, and seemed like great people who share a similar Intrests . And with swinging that common interests is sex, and fantasies, and love. Real sex, with real people who have real interests and real connections. Not porn where its all fake tits lube and big dicks.

Thank you all who have been giving me advice and keep coming back i really do appreciate that, day by day i will keep improving, from grammar, to pictures to wordplay. I do actually read what everyone is saying and take in the feedback. I believe...in a thing called love

"Touching you, touching me " in the band- The Darkness voice

"I don't want to "teach" anyone and the "mom/son" thing is kind of gross to basically every woman."

Please know that Velma is absolutely wrong on this point. She may be grossed out by it. Yet, there are others that enjoy it.

There are plenty of cougars who enjoy role play and others who also enjoy breaking in young men. Don't believe that they don't exist. However, don't think that it is anything like the porn or short stories that you may have seen.

Now with what they have also said, you definitely need to come to place of commitment where you will cross the bridge from fantasy to reality. We don't want to waste our time on young men who aren't ready to pull the trigger. The uncertainty in your profile is indeed a warning sign that you would most likely flake out when push comes to shove.

Work on your profile and your pictures taking the advice given into consideration.

The only way I want a young man to flake out on me is that he decides that he wants me to be his aunt rather than his mother at the last second. Be 100% sure before you go through the wasted effort of improving your profile and sending messages. There's nothing wrong with not following through. You just don't need to be kicking yourself down the road for wasting a lot of time and effort you could have put into other things.

Good luck.

Here's my advice on your profile:

Looking For is meant to be about the people you're looking for. There's nothing here about them. Also, you've used the phrase "another female" three times, which is not a great first impression. You're not looking for another female. You're looking for women and couples and maybe men and you're tentative about what you're willing to commit to sexually. So, the first sentence is good, the rest of it is not. Give waaaay less detail about the sexual things you're willing to do (there's a place for that and it isn't this section) and a little more from the point of view that the people with whom you might like to do these things are important. Go look at other profiles for examples.

In Description, don't duplicate what you have in your stats and toggles, so no age/weight/height/relationship status. This section is fine up until "I always treat people...to be treated. After that it goes completely off the rails. I also think indicating you're fine not using a condom if someone says not to does not put you in the best light. Your sexual health is important too, you know?

In Fantasies, it's "inexperienced" and you can pretty much stop there. I can think of no good reason to detail quite so exactly your few limited experiences.

Additional comments is kind of a mess. Read it out loud and fix the missing words or whatever the problem is. Never again talk about women as "the females" because it's not only grammatically wrong, it makes you sound like you watch too much porn and think women are objects.

Other than that, please run everything through a good spell check program so as to catch your misspellings, punctuation errors, random capitalizations and the other not so subtle wrong things. And use spell check on every email you send out between now and the heat death of the universe. Your spelling is terrible and it makes a bad impression.

Feel free to keep coming back for advice until you're happy with your profile.

Hi. You are definitely cute, but you're going to need to get a couple of clothed full body photos to make that clearer. I like two of your face photos, the two weirdly colored ones with the Flyers jersey can go. Anyway, Velma has some really specific photo guidelines in other threads that you can use. But you're going to need to get other people to take those photos or buy a cheap tripod and use the timer on your phone. Two good selfies are enough.

So, let's talk about your toggles. They indicate great interest in watching and ever diminishing interest in sexual activities from soft play to intercourse. It is quite possible that somewhere in your vicinity you'll find couples who only want someone to watch them fuck. Just not many. You know where you get a lot of opportunities to just watch? Clubs that allow single men. At the top of the Forums page are listings for clubs and events by state. You might want to check them out.

You also have your profile open to men and that's fine, but if it's for some reason other than to allow other men to comment on your profile, you might think about explaining that.

As far as your profile goes, there's a lot of word salad going on. I don't know if that's nerves, lack of clarity about what you actually want, or your communication style, but it's doing you no favors. Some of that can be straightened out, which will definitely improve your prospects a little.

The biggest problem, though, is that this is a site for people who want to have sex with other people and you don't seem to be sure you want to have sex. Think about that for a minute. I am a woman. I'm on this site because I like having sex with multiple partners. Like everyone else, I have a busy life and the fun things get crammed into the nooks and crannies I call my free time. Why would I spend some of it engaging in a little dirty talk and light touch and maaaybe oral from someone with very little experience and then if you're very comfortable you maybe might could possibly have PIV sex with me.

Eh. No. There are women out there for whom that might be delightful. I've heard there are some cougars who prefer their cubs to have very little experience, but they're likely to be older than 50 and want men younger than 26.

There are very few times in which I think hiring a pro is a good idea. This is one of those times. The things you want are a big deal for you. You don't have a lot of experience, you don't know exactly what you're comfortable with or what your body is capable of, and you will need to feel safe and encouraged to explore. That would be fine with someone with whom you had a heart connection, because discovery in all things is part of the process, but in the area of no strings attached sport fucking, there are a very, very few women who would be patient and kind and get something out of helping you get what you want. Unless they're paid escorts.

And that's my attempt to explain the problem you're going to have.

I feel like Kanye here. I'mma let you finish but...

Listen, I don't think you should be here. I'm not saying that to be mean, but it's this line:

Im very unexperienced, I've only had 3 sexual experiences which included fingering, giving a receiving oral, and having intercourse missionary style with a condom.

A lot of people think that swingers as some kind of sex-crazed libertines who'll fuck anything and that isn't entirely true. I think I'm pickier now than I was when I was younger. Sure, if I'm at a party I might have sex with a guy I'm not 100% attracted to, but I'm not going to go out of my way to pick a guy who is inexperienced. I don't want to "teach" anyone and the "mom/son" thing is kind of gross to basically every woman.

Here is what I think you should do. In order to be a lady's man, you need to be a man's man first. You seem like a NiceGuy(TM). I don't want to fuck a NiceGuy(TM). I want to be fucked by a strong, confident alpha male. I married one. Guess what? You can still be a strong, confident alpha male and be polite and respectful.

I want you to watch the movie Dirty Dancing. Focus on "The Watermellon Scene." You'll know it when you see it. That is exactly the way to be confident and sexy and alpha and respectful.

You are a handsome guy. So you got that going for you. Now let's try to work on the other stuff.

I think you need to let SLS go. Here is what I want you to do. Note that this isn't going to be cheap or easy.

#1. I want you to go to a gym and hire a personal trainer.
#2. I want you to go to a rock climbing gym and learn how to climb. You can also take up running like 5K's or 10K's.
#3. I want you to go to a community college and learn a foreign language. Spanish is good.
#4. I want you to start taking flight lessons.

What I'm trying to do here is build up your confidence. I want you to be able to say to a girl: I rock climb, I'm a pilot and a rock climber or marathon runner. Right now... I don't know. You seem like a Flyers fan who majored in English but now works at Sheetz nad can't figure out why girls don't like him.

Think about that. Think about how your life can be improved if you just made a 180 degree turn?

I also want you to buy the audiobook version of "Can't Hurt Me" by David Goggins. This is a guy who was once 300 lbs who became a Navy Seal and an ultramarathon runner.

Do that and I guarantee that you won't be able to walk from your house to your car without being covered in bitches. So just try to chance one thing in your life - one of those 4 things I suggested and see what happens.

Hello everyone, im new here this is all new to me, im still figuring out how to navigate around the site. If anybody could help me out and give me some pointers and feedback i would greatly appreciate it. I look forward to meeting everyone and once again i really appreciate your time and help ??