Looking to improve

Boom-Bang-Crash-Wham-Zap-Bam - holy onomatopoeia Batman my Brother from the City of Brotherly Love blew-up his old profile and his new one looks appealing from a first glance; sleek, under-spoken, interesting, a little serious, and ready for male and female friendships - Bing-Boom-Bam.

You might embellish more in your activities "Aside from sex," about the artwork you spend so much time perusing, and describe your medium, your goals, or any upcoming art shows you want to attend. I'd focus like a laser on the people or community you want to spend time with, like <<other graphic artists>> or <<other bi artistic bi couples>> or << bi sculptors should never be left alone with their stone; let me join you, I'm a sculptor.>>

Additional comments might use a line about the travel partner (or couple) you want, like <<I'm one to join the fun at Fantasy Fest, Hedo, and winter cruises away from the ice and cold and always a preferred topic to break the ice.>> or, << let's browse Philly's Museum together.>> Philly hosts five nice museums for dates that are free, or nearly free; the Barnes Foundation, Philadelphia Academy of Fine Arts Museum, Philadelphia Museum of Art, Rodin Museum, and the Norman Rockwell Museum. Make them a place to date other artists. You can also list yourself as a "hot date" once a month.

Your good work is applauded (clap-smack-pat-slap) and your feedback to this forum wound be appreciated.

Again thank you all for the suggestions for my profile. I've taken these points and put into place some changes that could make my profile more appealing than before.

A big Philly Yoooooooo to Mr Tall Dark and Handsome without a smile from the City of Brotherly Love - Welcome and thank you for the opportunity to read you. At first glance, I’d give you a lower than average easy-read-factor due to the brevity of your narratives and the visually uneven white space you’ve created with hard returns (new paragraphs) under Descriptions. This might sound like a load of crap - but hear me through.

When you blink your eyes, you’ll see how your paragraph in Descriptions looks choppy. If you see it, your mind likely thinks your thoughts are choppy too. That visual choppiness you can quick manicure with simple editing, like <<I'm a bisexual (top and orally open) and I love to make people laugh. I’m easy going and down to earth and your first impressions of me is that I’m taller than you in high heels. I'm respectful and quiet, however in the bedroom I love to take control. Aside from sex, I tend to spend my time working on my artwork or working towards my next plane ride to new destinations. Don't let me talk your ear off about traveling - seriously, I love to travel and will talk your ear off planning our next vacation together>>.

My "easy-read-factor" is my way of describing my initial “blink of the eye impression" about a profile or a forum post I’m about to read. Without reading a word, the first thing our brains do is gather an impression from the look of the words. Too little narrative says keep on moving cause there’s no creative juices in the house; the same is true about too much narrative since most of us don’t have time for reading War and Peace. Just enough “easy-read-factor” encourages visitors to invest their time in you right now. And there lies the challenge and the hook; how much is too much and how little is too little. IMO (In My Opinion), my minds eye sees two or three complete sentences in 2 or three paragraphs, per section, as suitable. After 3 big paragraphs I get lost, and with only one paragraph I feel abandoned on my journey to learn more about you.

It happened to me, like that, in the last section “Additional Comments.” My mind’s eye sees just a few simple words and says blah, blah, blah and blah. And when I read your simple words they say the same thing. So gather all of the help from every author in this forum, concentrate of writing 2 or 3 sentences in two or three paragraphs in each section that a lot about you in your own words.

With the blink of an eye some readers might think I always write too long and they never get to this point - while others, hopefully you appreciate a good read when it helps you have more sex with more people. I hope this helps you accomplish both: a good read for you ,and help with finding you more sex with more people.

+1 on your main pic. I really like that one. The others should be discarded, they aren't flattering.

One thing though. When you add some more photos, make sure that you're smiling. Even though you're not smiling in the main pic, it's such a good pic of you that you can get away with it. Once. A smiling photo can take a plain man or woman and make them look damned sexy. And on a handsome guy like you are, it'll be like catnip to the guys and girls you'll want to attract.

Best of luck.

There is something mysterious and intriguing about your profile that we like. Yet, you manage to get our attention without sounding obtuse and secretive. Nice job.

Hoping someone who can offer better pic advice comes along as that is where you lose us. The default pic is worth keeping but the others don't have anywhere near the same allure.

Thank you so much for the suggestions. I'll definitely put them into place and see where it goes

Hi and welcome. I like your profile a lot and just think it needs a little polish.

Your tagline is great. In Looking For, start the sentence with "I'm" and change your your typo "or" to for.

Other than that, you need an extra line in between paragraphs and some content for Additional comments (really, don't waste that real estate), plus some more content in Description that focuses on who you are when you aren't fucking.

Also, in this sentence, "First impressions of me tend to be respectful and even timid..." you need to add "that I'm" in between be and respectful. I'd change timid to shy, because introducing the concept of timidity is a poor strategy if being a bull is a part of your repertoire.

In your photos, what you use should reflect the current state of your facial hair. I am decidedly pro facial hair, because clean shaven you looks barely legal.

I hope others chime in with suggestions. And I hope you make some changes and then check in for another review.

Good luck.

Good afternoon! Been on SLS for a few days now and I'm interested in seeing how I may improve my profile. New to this lifestyle so I'm still trying to get things in order. Thank you for your time