Is less - more?

@Playful - Thank you. Actually, we met a relatively new (to us) couple at a bowling alley for our first date and hit it off well. They STILL comment to us about how they thought that was the cutest thing ever.

@mayhem - loved the part about bowling :)

We have seen at least some correlation between people with longer profiles being more likely to get back to us/clicking. There are of course exceptions. Again, I think a long profile is fine (to a point) so long as it's not repetitious and rambling. I have updated ours many times to make things more succinct, but it's always a work in progress,

Of course the longer a profile is, the more likely someone will just skim it and if someone says/does the right sorts of things, you may be none the wiser if you meet them until they do something you said you didn't like. There's a balance in there somewhere.

We like people who we have a lot in common with. I guess if some people think our profile is too wordy or too long, they wouldn't be the ones we'd click with anyway. So we'll leave it long for now...

Thank you all for your suggestions.

I know, I don’t know what I was thinking there.

"Get your minds out of the gutter people!"

Er. Why? ;-)

Drinking as a hobby? More...a calling. A vocation. A life's passion. Yes, it's far more than a hobby because when we drink, we don't fuck around...well...actually, we DO fuck around when we're drinking, but you know what I meant!

Get your minds out of the gutter people!

@PhxFun - I would likely do the same. Sometimes the risk of sounding a little negative is worth it to prevent something that you dislike that has happened frequently.

Asking if drinking counts as a hobby? ...I’m a bit geographically biased, but I’d go with yes. Though, if you note in your profile that you like to party and get stinking drunk before or during festivities, the answer would differ.

Oh, and not that the opinion of a member of The Great Unwashed (aka, a single male) should count, but when in doubt on profile length, I think more, provided it isn’t repetitive, is better. I like to think that in this case, length and girth chase off those some call, the agenda-driven.

BT

thanks for your replies everyone.
Including hobbies is probably a good idea - we'll add a few lines about that (hopefully drinking counts as a hobby around here).

Thank you, Catchy - we aren't in TN often but now have a reason to go!

@Mayhem, your logic and reasoning on the hard pounding sex phraseology is absolutely spot on. For a number of years we used the more positive phrase. Our only problem was it required some interpretation by the reader. History has shown once the dick gets hard interpretation gives way to baser instincts. Sure there is give and take once the clothes come off but on that one thing? It's a deal breaker. For us (and only for us) we recognize the way we phrase it is exclusionary. That's the intent.

Usually with anything negative, less is more. It's hard sometimes because there's a tendency to want to tell people about bad things that happened (myself included).

Sometimes it's a matter of how you say something. The "hard pounding guy" thing may be one of those things.

You can say that as, "The Mrs REALLY enjoys slow sensual sex" versus "If you need to do this we're not a match".

In most cases a guy wants to please the woman he's with. Telling someone what you like IMHO is just a more positive way of both getting what they want.

Less is not more for us. If the profile fits on a postcard, and the IM fits on a postage stamp, then we're not going to be a good match.

There is a point where more is too much. If you find yourself skimming the profile, it's too wordy. Yours doesn't make me want to do that. I liked it. I think the Mrs. would like it. Let us know if you're ever in town, we'll buy the first round!

We readily admit ours is a long read. We look at profiles as a key to determine how well a couple communicates. Take the fantasy section as but one example. If you can't find the words or the courage to type what you enjoy, how are you going to be able to say that over drinks in public? The standard line of we will tell you later? History shows the later never comes because they are not free minded enough to discuss what can be an intimate fantasy quest.

We also use it as an exclusionary tool. Example? My wife hates being fucked like a rag doll or someone jack-hammering a pothole. So we clearly state if the husband enjoys hard pounding sex, we are not the couple for you.

We've determined there is no right or wrong answer. Some like a quick read, some prefer the "more is more" angle. We are happy with our write up length, and if someone passes us by because we are wordy....in a way that's OK with us. So find what works for you and don't let peer pressure determine how you communicate about your sexuality.

The shortest way to convey what you're about and not about is great. No one reads the entire profile so keep the important stuff in the beginning.
Leave out the negativity as much as you can, it's a turn-off. If it's your biography, there won't be much to talk about to break the ice on the 1st date. I still get people messaging me knowing it's going to be a hard no. Annoying!

The answer is "sometimes". Less is definitely more when it comes to sentence structure and repetition. Saying something concisely and not repeating yourself are two of the things that can allow a profile to be longer, yet still readable.

Leaving out unimportant details helps. For example, the profile with a dozen pictures that then describes what they look like. Why?

ANYTHING negative should be avoided, especially if it is unlikely to happen again.

Everyone seems to like a story, so long as it follows the above guidelines. This is why I answered the question as "sometimes". Longer is OK if it is entertaining and/or interesting.

Lastly, if you do decide to go long, put your most important/interesting stuff closer to the top and, if you can, end on a funny note. Sort of like a prize if someone makes it to the end ;-)

Your profile is not a manifesto. Too short and there won’t be enough interest. Too long and you risk alienating people.

What you need is enough information to get people interested and no more than that. That’s why I’m such a big advocate of talking about hobbies. Hobbies are the hooks that make people feel comfortable about common interests.

Generally I expect a few sentences per section in order to gather enough information to decide to contact or reply to someone. If it is well written I enjoy reading one that is much longer.

I don't think you've gone overboard on the length of your profile. It certainly is better than many that request a review. Your profile is well written and showcases your personalities. I like to read less about sex and more about your other interests because we tend to look for FWB rather than one time encounters so we want to see evidence of common interests in the profile.

If you want a full-blown review, let us know and open your profile to at least the "maybe" interest level for single ladies and gentlemen so you get a wider range of responses. That "no interest but viewable" doesn't work as advertised.

~Phoebert's Wife

Hi. I can't speak to your profile, since you have single women blocked, but I do think there's a sweet spot for length that kind of depends on what you have to say and how you say it. I've seen a few that would give a Russian novel a run for it and others that are no more than two lines per section and they're equally good.

It's all about how well you convey who you are, what you're looking for, and why you're the best option for others. Can you do that in just a few lines? Great! I'll do my best to draw you out if we meet. Do you need seventy billion paragraphs, but they're all sparkling with charm and wit? Also great, but I'm pretty sure you'll also do all the talking in person and you might not be my jam five nights out of seven. ;-)

We are new here, and since we met in pre-internet age, new to online dating as well.
It seems different people choose to represent themselves differently. Some profiles are very long, and others are quite laconic.
Out of curiosity, do longer profiles generate more interest - or less?
Are you more interested in detailed descriptions, or is "hot cple, DTF" sufficient?
Curious to know your opinions (and your opinion if our profile is too long as well).