I need advice badly

Have fun with it! Dress up nice and take a few pictures (use a timer and tripod if you can) then each of you can do a strip tease while the other takes pictures. Start with him since there are lots of pictures of you - whoever goes second probably won't get as many pictures taken! ;-)

You may only want to use the nicely dressed pictures in your public gallery but it will be fun and you may end up with some good pictures that can replace some of your older ones.

I know - taking picture advice from a gumby couple is kinda crazy. Ron or Kathy will probably be by offering popcorn soon! Luckily for us single gentlemen aren't so worried about the lack of pictures - but couples want to see both of you. Velma's already given you her fabulous advice - mine is to smile (affects everything even if you obscure your face), watch the background for clutter or visual chaos and avoid selfies.

Have a wonderful time!

Ms Molly I get it! It happens more than anyone would suspect.

I was a G+ member and flew to DC for a hangout. It was a large gathering and a friend and I branched off with a group and spent hours drinking, laughing, dancing and talking. A couple of weeks later my friend had lunch with 2 of the guys we'd befriended and was dumbfounded when they asked her when I lost the use of my arm. She told them I only had the one and it was their turn at speechless. They'd only noticed I didn't use it

Sometimes I think it's selective, because they sure noticed everything else.

Gaaahhhh Phoebert I'm trying! He has a trucking company and runs himself so talk about a crapshoot! This spring we went 3 (THREE!!) months without seeing each other! Business good, heartbreak baaaaaad. I've driven hundreds of miles when he's within 4 or 5 hours just to spend a night with him He'll be here for a few days this week and I can't wait. Photo shoot is scheduled!

I'd love to see your profile once you're happy with the changes.

True story: When I was young, I worked in my school's print shop, where we made flyers, concert posters, and whatever else anyone wanted. My only co-worker was a really cute boy and we spent several hours a week together. It took me a month to notice he only had one hand. How I missed the three pronged hook on his other arm is a mystery, since we were running a printing press together in a room barely bigger than a closet, but I did.

The reason I'm telling the story is that I wanted to illustrate the power of letting people find you attractive and then "notice," because you've told them, that you don't have two arms. It's experientially different for both the observed and the observer.

You needn't ever feel self conscious or worry that people won't find you attractive, or at least no more than the rest of us, because of your amputation. I don't want to diminish your difference, but we all have something that some people won't be attracted to and so long as it's not a character defect, there's no need to feel awkward. You're you. Unique and amazing, just like all the other unique and amazing people out there.

You're right - totally a crap shoot with no right or wrong answer.

I took a look at your profile and pictures - you've worded it well and neither emphasized nor obscured the loss in your pictures. See how it goes and you can always change it later. And maybe ask the couple you're meeting this weekend how they felt about the timing of the disclosure.

Now just get some pictures of hubby in your public gallery and have fun!

~Phoebert's Wife

Phoebert I'll take it under advisement. Maybe I'll exclude it; maybe I'll leave it alone for a while. Sometimes it ruffles hubby's feathers if he feels I'm feeling awkward or on the spot and he seems to think this inclusion would avoid those situations.
It's a crapshoot either way.

Yeah-I wouldn’t try to hide things like a missing arm. I think it’s one thing to Strategically hide some belly fat or use more flattering angles.

Use my picture section as a rule of thumb and let me know if you need some ideas. I’ll take a look at it again if you post here.

You're on point MS Molly, and hit on the conundrum.
I've included it because A. I was revamping anyway and B. After just this morning trading texts with a couple and spilling my beans they're meeting us Saturday when they come to our area.
I'd truly love to hear what you think after my update appears

AandJ and Velma (Shaggy?) I'd love another look from you too, after updates and photo shoot. Or any old time. Of course. Velma I did include full on, hey-my-arm's-gone pics in my personal gallery. Thanks.

I think MsMolly is right - online is so different that in person! People may read your profile and nope out before they see your pictures if you include the information in your profile. So mention it after you've received a message from someone else (either in response to a message from you or because they reached out to you) as they are already hoping for a connection. Don't go out of your way to make it obvious in pictures but try to include pictures that don't obscure the missing arm (I didn't look at your profile but it sounds like you've already done this).

Have fun!

"It'll only scare away the ones I wouldn't care to meet anyway."

No, that's actually not true. There's this thing about searching on line that makes most of us look for a reason to say no initially, as opposed to in person where we look for reasons to say yes. That's why I thought about it some more, in light of your information that you told people right away, and changed my mind. If people contact you without that knowledge, then they'll accept a fairly major piece of news from the standpoint of already having a tentative yes in mind and fewer of them will have an issue.

I know it sounds weird, but people are weird and the psychology of desire is even weirder.

In other words, the number of people who would nope out on the news in your profile is a greater number than those who would nope out from the news in an IM after they've positively responded to your profile without the information.

Exactly my point AandJ, and just to be clear I've never met before I've told them. Never would.
People in real life don't notice, or because it's a shoulder amputation they assume it's injured and somehow tucked away in a sling under my clothing.
At any rate, I'm adding it to my profile now. It'll only scare away the ones I wouldn't care to meet anyway.
Thanks for your input, all of you. If there's more I welcome it.

Yeah, you definitely need to get that bit of info out there early. I don't think it will be a problem for many but surprising them at the first meet seems riskier.

Looking at your profile now with the knowledge it seems pretty obvious. But, we didn't notice anything before you said it.

What great photo advice! With the exception of hiding anything, I'm taking your advice and running with it. All of it. Thanks very much!

It's funny you mention that. It's a peeve of mine too and I've seen you voicing your opinion on it elsewhere.
Although the profile has been active a year now, it's been dormant untl the last month or so. My husband made it and I'm revamping as we speak.
There are personal pics of him and when he's home this week we're having a photo session. Running to your profile now! Thank you.

Honestly, looking at your profile right now, I wouldn’t be interested in you. Not because you are missing some of your arm, but because there are no pictures of the guy.

I would show a few full-body pictures with the missing arm and mention it in your profile. It will deter some guys, but most wont care.

But seriously, get some pics of the guy in there ASAP. I opened a private gallery for you to show to the kinds of pictures you should have.

Absolutely ask away.
When I was 20 I was diagnosed with bone cancer. I had a right arm disarticulation (fancy for cut off at the shoulder joint).
I do not now nor have I ever had a prosthesis.
It's never affected my sexuality. Not to my knowledge, anyway. My poor oldest son has had to say "Dude. That's my mom!" on more than one occasion when I've been hit on. I'm sexy, confident, well spoken, I have a ready laugh and a genuine interest in people and their stories. I think that's more me than any physical attribute, or lack thereof. I honestly don't give a flying fuck what Joe blow thinks when he sees me walking down the street, but in this scenario in particular it's important for us to disclose. If it's going to be a problem, and it never has been, I'd rather know up front. I'm sure those we meet would too.

You know what? I'm revising my answer. Whatever it is, you mention it early on, you're clearly fine with it, and I think that's enough.

I do mention it early on, or my husband does. I wouldn't appreciate what could be perceived as deceit. The truth is it's been a part of my life for 37 tears now. I've birthed babies, raised children, had a successful career, and am now helping raise a granddaughter without giving much if any thought to it on a daily or even annual basis. It's part of who I am and how I operate and irl it's just not an issue I feel the need to address.
Online? Totally different world!

Can I ask what it is. If it means anything, I have a massive surgical scar that runs along my bikini line. And we're not talking a cute little appendix scar. We're talking a jagged, elevated, ridged surgical scar that runs from one side of my hip to the other.

There's a reason I wear a high-waisted garter belt in a lot of my picture.

It really depends on what the issue is and how someone may perceive it. At the very least you should mention it very early on in your conversation if you choose not to add it to your profile.

MrAandJ has a similar situation and we choose to explain it to folks when we first meet. It hasn't proven to be an issue to date, or st least no one has told us it was a factor in their decision not to play or meet again. So we're very optimistic about the open mindedness of SLSers. :)

Good luck!

It depends, but the short answer is a brief mention is Description.

We all have something unique about our bodies, such as stretch marks, scars, enhancements, etc., but I've got a significant issue and it's recently come to my attention that perhaps it should be included in my profile. It could potentially be a deal breaker for some and I'm clueless as to when it would be appropriate to disclose. I don't deliberately hide it in my photos but it's not necessarily noticable without close inspection. Meeting online is hard, but I don't want to disappoint and make it harder than it has to be. To disclose or not to disclose?