Ok, great info!!! As far as mentioning the tattoos, at first glance (she) doesn't look like the type, but has a lot of ink. (He) well we didn't elaborate on that because we would think most guys have at least one and it's not that big of deal, but point taken. So' anyway we appreciate the advice. Happy Holidays!!!
First, I may say some things here with which Velma may disagree. Also, I am the male half of a couple who is a little out of the swinger mainstream; we are not particularly concerned with meeting couples via the web site so we don’t always follow best practices ourselves. Velma’s insights are nearly always right, so you should not have any problems heeding her advise.
Regarding pictures, I believe that any reasonably clear picture is fine as long as the message it is sending is the message that you intended. If you love guns, and only want to meet other people who love guns as much as you, post pictures of your favorite pistol, shotgun, or whatever. Profile pics don’t have to be just about attracting, the right people. They can also be about filtering out the wrong people.
Avoid pictures of inanimate objects. If you have to show your Harley, show it with a person in the picture.
When obscuring your face, be neat. Use a prop, creative cropping, or a tidy bit of Photo Shopping.
Personally, I like some selfies. A selfie of a woman tells me that most likely she has knowledge of her SLS profile, as opposed to the unsuspecting wife whose husband post her pics without her knowledge.
Hi. Velma covered your photos question thoroughly, so I'll just stick with your profile. I don't love it, so there's a possibility it will sound as if I'm criticizing you. I'm not, just your profile and how it might get in the way of you getting what you want.
That said, in Looking For, only the first two sentences belong there. And there's something wrong with the syntax in the first and the second is also a bit awkward. The rest belongs in either Description, because that's the section where you talk about you, or in Fantasies/real experiences, or, in the case of the last sentence, Additional comments.
Going back to Looking For, please say something about who you're looking for other than people who enjoy bedroom fun. Like, sure, but are you one and done or looking for social time or what? And if you're looking for single women, maybe say something about that too.
In Description, use your photos for your physical appearance and employ this section to talk about who you are as people. Who are you? What do you like to do that isn't sex? What is it about you that won't bore me stupid? Nothing you have conveys any useful information about the uniqueness that is you individually or as a couple. I'd also leave out the bits about tattoos. There are, for some reason, people who have "no tattoos or piercings" in their profiles, but they apparently think they're shopping at Amazon and can have exactly the product they want. Otherwise, tattoos are commonplace and needn't be mentioned.
You already have most of the material you'll need to do a better job in Fantasies. For the rest, be a little provocative without being graphic. If you've ever had a desire to experience sex on a high wire, this is the place to talk about that. You never know if an aerialist couple lives nearby, you know?
In Additional comments, your discretion is a must thing has a proper home, but surround it with something interesting and end on a positive note.
Good luck and I hope you get enough other input to make your rewrite easier.
I have to strongly disagree with Velma on one point. Velma said, “if she has a belly from kids, get a high-waisted garter belt”. I disagree
There are two parts of a profile where you absolutely should not lie (or fudge the truth).
1-Your sexual orientation/ leanings/ inklings
2-Your pictures.
We don’t care if someone fudges their age or even their weight as long as you LOOK like your pictures.
No 10 year old pics, no overly photoshopped pics, no damn Snapchat filters and no artifice pulling your body into unnatural “perfection” without also having a natural picture as well.
Fancy dress, corsets, etc are all fine and good but have something that shows what you really look like as well.
I can’t imagine how hurt a woman would be to be rejected in person because she doesn’t look like her doctored up figure in the profile pics.
No one is perfect and confidence is way sexier that a perfectly flat tummy.
~rabbit~
So the first thing I have to say I'm not embarrassed about what I do, but It's also my private business. That's why I only have face pics in my private section. It's also a nice way of getting people to contact you if they want to see more.
Anyway, you can blur your faces, but have something available privately. If you don't have face pics in your private pics, I'm probably not going to be interested. I'm not a big phone texter and I don't like Kik. In 4 years of doing this, I don't think we've only connected with one couple who didn't have face pics available in their private section.
Whenever a guy (and it's always the guy) says "we don't have face pics on here because I'm in a really important job" I always get suspicious. I call these people "Theranos" swingers.
You know how Theranos defrauded investors for years, hoping that one day their actual blood-analyzing technology would catch up to their promises? I think a lot of guys come on here and put up sexy pictures of their wife and their wife doesn't even know what's going on. But they don't have any face pictures because even though they want to swing, they still feel somewhat guilty about doing this without their wife's knowledge. And they hope that one day their reality will catch up to their fantasy - even though their wives are 100% not interested. Like if just wish hard enough, some couple will say yes, they will show their wife the couple and magically she will agree to a date.
But, the guy doesn't have faces on there because he knows that if his wife sees her face on a swinger site, she is going to flip her shit.
Don't be a Theranos swinger.
Wow!!! Great feedback. I really appreciate this. We definitely have some work to do now. What about faces? We are hesitant to put faces on the default pics although we know anyone on here is in this for the same reason.
Your profile isn’t bad in the sense that toast isn’t bad.
Toast by itself isn’t bad, just kind of boring. Put some jam or butter on it and now we’re talking. So let me help put some jam on that toast.
I created something I call the DEBauCH method which gives you five core pictures that are guaranteed to get you attention and interest: DEBauCH stands for Date, Event, Beach, Chick, Him.
You need:
DATE pic, that is a full body pic of you two dressed the way you would look if you showed up at a date.
An EVENT pic - A Full Body pic of you doing something interesting like a 5K, sporting event, traveling or rock climbing.
A BEACH pic to show off your bodies. A pool is okay.
Then a full body pic of CHICK and a full body pic of HIM.
I would ditch every picture you have except for #4. Take new ones. Don’t get discouraged. It took my husband 48 pictures to get my current default picture. That means for about 20 minutes I stared nude out a window with a cold cup of coffee pretending to be coquettish. But the results...
I am not crazy about your current the default picture. The female half has a very tiny waist and the current outfit makes her look bigger than 138 lbs. if she has a belly from kids, get a high-waisted garter belt. I have one and you can find it on Amazon for $20. The corset isn't working, especially since the Black and White background makes it blend into the background. If I had a body like hers, I would show off my waist any chance I could.
A word on beards: the only thing I ask is that a face be accurate. If the man usually sports a beard, all his pics should have him in a beard. If he doesn’t have a beard, I think a sexy “unshaven” pic is okay if it was obviously taken on vacation or in a very casual setting. But it needs to be balanced out with a nicely dressed date picture. So if he's normally shaved, but there is a pic of her in a maxi dress and him an shorts and a camp shirt next to a palm tree and he hasn't shaven in 2-3 days, I think that's okay.
Your answer under “fantasies or real experiences” is a cop out. This is a resume for sex. If you were writing a resume, you wouldn’t put “just ask” under experience. So put something down.
Get a certification, pronto. If you have played with another couple and they are willing, ask them to certify you. Certs show that you are real and serious.
I opened a private gallery for you to show you the Debauch method. Take some new pictures and repost so we can re-review.
To start, You asked what pictures other than guns or fish would be bad, I would say:
*Any pictures with a messy room or dirty bed. If I'm going over to your house to fuck you, your place better be spotless
*Any selfie taken in a bathroom. Bathrooms are usually messy. Maybe the exception to this would be a picture taken in the tub of a large hotel or resort bathroom.
*Any pictures where one or both of you is giving the middle finger. It is really classless.
*Multiple pictures of you drinking. Personally, If I see a bottle of Barefoot, Yellow Tail, Sutter or anything moscato, I'm going to form an opinion about you. The only girls who drink moscato are ones who just graduated from drinking Franzia straight from the box,
*Any picture where you aren't smiling. There are exceptions. I don't smile in some of my pictures, but there is a very specific reason: I do a coquettish sort of "what are you going to do to me, mister?" look where I open my eyes wide but don't smile.
*The only shirtless picture a man should have is at a pool or the beach. Under some circumstances, you can have a shirtless picture in the gym, chopping wood outside or camping, but don't make it a selfie.
*Any picture taken of you looking down at the camera. Car selfies are notorious for this. Looking down at your phone causes the fat around your neck to bunch up. Not even Jason Momoa would look good like that. Well, maybe, You probably aren't Jason Momoa.
*Never have more than 10 default pictures. When I click on a profile and I see 44 or 120 pictures, I get a little turned off because I believe it's going to be a pain in the ass to go over them. Never have more than one picture that shows the same thing. You don't need three pictures of her reclining on the bed in the same position.
Remember, the whole idea behind pictures is to show your bodies and glimpses into your personality so that someone can gauge attraction. I believe that every picture over 10 creates a risk that someone will find fault with a picture and reject you.
I'll review your profile next.
I don't have guns or fish pics, but what are some other pics that may convey the wrong message in a profile? Also, can someone please critique our profile?
