Feedback on our profile

Couldn’t agree more with Mrs. phoebert. We actually didn’t post because we couldn’t think of a single positive thing to write.

I'll overlook a lot in a profile - we play with single gentlemen a lot and they generally create lousy profiles - but your profile is quite off-putting.

My overall impression is that you either don't like people or consider yourself superior to most of them. Snarky humor in small doses is entertaining; used constantly it's just mean.

Not having certs after so long doesn't concern me nearly as much as your insistence on telling others what to do. Have you learned nothing in twenty years about making online connections?

Unless you plan on always meeting in clothing optional locations a few fully clothed photos in your public gallery would be helpful so others know what to expect. Add a few of the two of you together and maybe delete a few of her alone.

Usually I'm the kinder, gentler blunt reviewer but I cannot offer much help about your text other than to delete it all and start over.

I hope I'm wrong about your attitude and a rewrite will present you in a more positive, enticing manner.

Good luck, have fun and stay safe.

~Phoebert's Wife

Hi. I hope you've read some other threads in this section. If not, then I'd like to explain that this is the 'being inescapably blunt is the kindest method' section.

I'm giving you that preface because if I didn't feel like I had to read your entire profile, I wouldn't have bothered. And that was just because of the text. If you'd written to me, I would have noped right out even before reading, because your profile is more than 21 years old and you have zero certs.

No, it doesn't matter why that is. It's a huge red flag. So, for me, is your inability to wear clothing and appear together in a photo. I care far less about good bodies than I do about visual representations that a couple is comfortable and loving with one another and, assurances aside, some indication they won't show up to meet us in our favorite restaurant wearing a Speedo or a bunny suit.

As for the text, while I get what you're trying to avoid, it won't work. So, you've devoted a bunch of words fending off something you have no control of once you've done your pre-meeting vetting (hint: always turn down vintage profiles with no certs). In addition to it being futile, it also comes across as if you've Frankensteined a lot of bad experiences onto what should be something that markets the positive things about you.

Do you see that your risk aversion is a bad look here? If not, I'll list some reasons in a future post. Instead, change your mindset and approach. Vet ahead of time. Meet somewhere you'd be happy to go together, regardless of who else is coming. Have low expectations. Stop thinking you can control who shows up.

Anyway, in Looking For, paragraphs one and three are more or less okay, so long as I ignore that together they make me think you're putting together a Burger King order. Paragraph four belongs in Additional comments, but it contains an error that would be caught by a spell/grammar check. It's "whet" rather than "wet." You might also want to read it through to catch those errors that even the best spell check will miss.

Description would benefit from being significantly shorter. Nobody needs to know that much about you without actually meeting you in person. Plus you're back to displaying your risk aversion/Burger King issues.

Fantasies? You write extensively in other sections and can't be bothered to mention, lightly, any experiences or a single fantasy?

Additional comments starts off prescriptive and then never recovers, since it sounds like no one who isn't prepared to play upon first meeting should bother contacting you.

Anyway, that's what I have for you. Best of luck.

We have a longer profile that details what we’re like and what we’re looking for sprinkled with some sarcasm and humor. Some if it is to avoid being burned again by people who blatantly misled us and wasted our evening. Our private photos have our faces and personal are xxx photos. Which we open if we feel the vibe. Ready, GO!