Hi Dryreds. I read your profile and have things to say, but it would be a bit of a social gaffe to do it on someone else's thread. If you select Better Profiles, you'll see a note in the upper right hand section of the screen that says New Topic. That will allow you to start your own thread and collect whatever advice people are in the mood to give.
Dryreds,
Best to start your own thread to avoid confusion.
Could We have someone Critique ours?
Cj and Bill
I just realizd I told you to buy a pair of tan pants twice .
Make one of the pants a charcoal gray.
Seriously-if the best outfit you have to show the world is an oversized black polo and Dockers with pleats, This is a fashion emergency.
V&S,
Completely agree. We're eitherligh working on the pics.
I mean, the pictures aren't bad... but they aren't great. You also have two of the same picture. I hate it when people do that. It takes up valuable real estate. Remove one of the lady's butt pictures.
They are just kind of... meh. The female half looks like she just got back from LA fitness and the male half looks like he's going to ask me if I'm happy with my wireless plan - plus his pants are too long, he's wearing pleats and his polo is tucked in. And to top it all off, the polo is too big.
Look at our profile. See how we take pictures using the "rule of thirds." It's also okay to have casual pictures if you are doing an interesting thing. Look at the picture of my husband at the bar. We took that one last night. He's dressed casually, but doing something interesting.
A picture in workout clothes isn't bad if there are other pictures as well. But I think we need to start with a few things.
It looks like the female half would look good in a black sheath dress - its slimming and will show off her curves. I would also suggest that she buy a pair of black garters and hose. If she is one of those women who doesn't wear heels, she needs to buy two pair of 4" heels - a nude pair, a black pair, and a red pair. Heels help pump up your butt. Sometimes I wear heels when I'm nude and my husband takes pictures.
The male half - I would suggest that you go to the Man's Warehouse in Paramus. Buy a pair of tan dress pants, a pair of tan pants, two pairs of casual shoes in tan and black, two shirts - maybe a white and a navy blue, and one navy jacket. Buy the belts at Ross. Make sure the salespeople help you pick them out and measure them for you.
I'm going to assume you already have a few shirts and sportcoats, but they are probably 10 years old and out of style or don't fit anymore.
Then, I want you to leave your kids with a sitter, go out to a nice restaurant - maybe Maggiano's in Hackensack, and take a few pictures there. This will solve your "we have kids" problem. The waiters will be more than happy to take pictures of both of you.
You may feel self conscious taking pictures -get over it. Last night, I made my husband pose at the bar for 10 minutes while I took 100 pictures to get the right one. The results were amazing. So start taking pictures without the kids wherever you go.
Take the new pictures in new clothes and repost.
Hi. I think this is a lot better. Nice job. Just a few quibbles and none about content.
It's clubs, etc., together, very much a giver, ladies, and we enjoy theme parks, traveling and making wine (because otherwise it looks like you're making theme parks, etc.). Other than that, four isn't capitalized.
And that's it. Good luck on getting those photos. Maybe buy a cheap tripod? Sorillo has several times recommended one he found on Amazon, fwiw.
Not going to leave it with no pics. We will add them soon. Trying to get some decent ones first. We're not big picture takers. At least not of just the two of us. Most of what we have include our kids. Which we don't want to post here for obvious reasons.
Ok..
Changes are up. Have at it.
GGMM,
Thanks for the honest feedback. We've made some changes and are waiting for the admins to review and approve. I'll post here when they're up and ask for a another round of review.
I'm a little too bent to ever be straight, but I'll do what I can. I don't love your profile. There are ways to say things that end up sounding inviting and then there are some of the ways you've chosen to express yourselves. For example, you have "We don't need to be bffs but we do require you to be personable, fun loving and open to a potential for more than one meeting." That's prescriptive and sounds like you have a checklist. It's off-putting. Another way to say that is: We're looking for personable, fun loving couples who are open to the potential for more than one meeting. You're fishing in the same pond, but the bait is different and might actually catch a fish.
So, if you want to appeal to people, eliminate words like "require" and "need," in favor of softer language.
The second paragraph in Looking For, doesn't actually belong there. Instead, shift it to the final section.
In Description, you begin by talking to yourselves. That's great in the privacy of your own home, but strangers don't actually care how you feel about the curve of your wife's hips and the part about making women melt is similarly misplaced. What is it about you that invites other people to take a chance on meeting you? Who are you, what do you like to do, what interests might you share with others?
Fantasies is fine, but numbers under 10 are spelled out.
Additional comments is again you talking to yourselves in places. Plus, you set up difficulties and then say you'll be worth the wait, which, no, is not convincing. If your barriers to meeting are sufficient that you need to make a point of mentioning them, then the expectation is that you're just work and possibly not worth the wait. It's better to say nothing at all in your profile and then work it out in email, without mentioning what is getting in the way but instead choosing to give a choice of prospective dates, even if those dates are two and three weeks away. Same with the we have a family thing. Better to not end with how it'll be a chore to meet with you. Splitting the cost of a hotel room is pretty common, so nobody will be surprised if you propose that.
Your last sentence again uses prescriptive language, so consider alternatives, like starting the sentence as "We like..."
Other than that, your punctuation needs some tending, you should probably clarify that his experience was long ago, and maybe consider widening your age ranges because I'm not the only person who automatically nopes anyone whose range doesn't go more than a few years their senior. This is like on-line shopping and most of us are looking for reasons to say no (it doesn't happen in the same way at clubs and parties, because those people are present and real, not theoretical), so if you want a fairly wide pool of possible playmates, you want to avoid unnecessarily turning off people.
Good luck.
Hi,
Just joined and we know we need pics. But looking for some advice on how our profile is written.
Give it to us straight.
