Another go around

Thanks again missmolly

Streamlined and made the changes suggested. you guys are awesome

Hi. I really like the changes and love the photos. I have one or two nits to pick and then I'm going to make one more try to get you to change one thing.

Nits first: Your sections should be consistent, so remove the all caps for SINGLE MEN and remove the line break between "Single women" and the subsequent text. Also, it's a capital letter to start the Men section and it's too seriously, rather than to seriously in Women.

In Description, that sentence after "He is caring...," has an unnecessary line break in front of it. In Fantasies, it's Missus rather than Misses and beforehand is one word and in Additional comments, the "just" in just message us needs a capital letter.

Okay, and here's more about why "I'm not your unicorn" is a poor way to address an issue: It hints at a story of at least one couple who wanted her and not him and that's not where you want anyone's mind to go. What I mean is that you don't want to introduce the concept that she is more desirable than he is. Instead, a better, less evocative way to address it is to emphasize both directly and indirectly that you are a team and always and only play together.

Anyway, nice job and I hope you find everything you're looking for.

Oh my god, lmfao!

Pretty good. I like the changes, especially the pics with Sarah Jessica Parker.

Thank you msmolly

We have read and re read your post and have made some changes. We got a date night Saturday so should be able to get him some better pictures.

Again thanks for your constructive criticism.

I'm really sorry smiling is painful for you. I'd suggest telling potential playmates that upon first meeting, if not before, because you want them to know why you aren't smiling. I like the new photos, but you really need to lose the bathroom photo (bathrooms aren't great backdrops) and I'd rather see the two of you together than solo.

As far as your profile goes, in your tagline you call yourselves newbies. Since you've been on here for just over a year, that word needs to go or the implications are going to give people pause. You can tell people about your experience or lack thereof, just don't call yourselves newbies.

In terms of your age ranges, it makes sense given your ages, but that pool isn't all that big. You might think about raising the limit to 45 and then taking it on a case by case basis.

You start Looking For with what you aren't looking for. That's not a great beginning. If you change the sentence construction some, to say what you ARE looking for and then fix your punctuation, it'll be an improvement. And if you really do want couples, then put as much effort into saying what you want there as you do on single men (and it really is men, not males). In that section directed towards men, some of it is self evident and can be removed (of course you want attraction and chemistry and you require guys to make some effort). You might also consider, since you don't mention them in this section, whether you're actually looking for single women.

You did a good job of emphasizing that you were a couple in the first section and then somehow in Description you became individuals. It's a pretty easy fix, though, or at least an easy patch: We are a youthful couple who... Then cut down some of the individual descriptions in favor of a little more about the two of you and what you like to do together. The rest is fine, but it would be improved in a few places by using complete sentences and the lack of spacing between paragraphs and sentences is visually unappealing.

Where I think you've really gone off course is in Fantasies. Leaving aside my personal dislike of colored text, this section wobbles all over the place and tells me things I don't want to know (show me she's your queen, don't tell me), things that belong elsewhere (being playful and a tease is Description, squirting for distance is Additional comments), or puts a negative spin on something when there are better options (I'm not your unicorn...) for expressing things and better places (like Looking For, where you can say you always play together or something similar).

The only things you have in this section that actually belong there are his experience and her lack, accompanied by excitement about what might happen.

The hard limits thing is a little iffy, unless they're so hard that even getting close to the boundary makes you lose your shit. This isn't to say you shouldn't have limits - you should and they should be discussed in detail at the initial meeting if you think you might be interested and again before you play - just that whether they belong in your profile is a question.

Additional comments - It punctuates this way: We are 420 friendly (she does, he doesn't) and then you need to fix the syntax of the next sentence, because it's a mess that proper punctuation can't help.

Condom use is great and does belong here. I wouldn't use the word allowed, ever, because of the implications, and the mention of playing together belongs in one of the first two sections anyway. I'd leave off the comfort level wrinkle altogether, because by the time you get to that place, you'll be comfortable enough that it's an easy conversation with that couple.

Last thing is that after you've made all the changes you're going to make and gotten them approved, you'll need to go in and change your toggles from the default, which is Want Smokers/Drinkers.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for the tips and corrections, i did go verbatim off your text recommendations and fixed those. Have to get some better pictures taken asap. as for the smile, I have Trigeminal neuralgia which puts me in excruciating pain under a full smile over the years its just become a smirk i would say

And lol at the goose comment actually one of my favorite movies however point welll taken i do greatly appreciate the constructive criticisms

Stop editing your profile on your phone. Spelling and capitalization counts. Use your computer. Think of SLS as a resume for sex. You wouldn't want a word spelled wrong on a resume, why do it here?

The biggest problem I see is that this looks like it was written entirely by the man with no female input. You may want to make it sound like it came from a couple.

We are new to the lifestyle and found sls via google.

Take it out. Who cares?

who knows.

Try: "who knows?" (Punctuation counts)

Enjoying dinner out or even at home, going dancing "Him im a terrible dancer, but would love to watch her move" grab a couple drinks and see where the night takes us. Hey, guess everyone else is after the same thing here though.

Try: "We like people who like dinner out and dancing. Let's grab a couple of drinks and see where the night takes us."

Looking for a good conversationalist and charmer who can seduce her, not after the macho man I’m in charge and do it better type.

This is a huge red flag for drama. I would be afraid of contacting you because I don't know if you could handle things of my husband fucked your wife better than you could. You need to be prepared the possibility that she is going to experience things with another man that she has not experienced with you.

NO CHEATING MEN

This is the SLS equivalent of those little "Firearms Prohibited" signs you see around Washington DC stores and restaurants when concealed carry was forced on The District. Nobody listens to those signs. Nobody is going to listen to that either. Take it out.

enjoying life, stay at home mom and a hardworking dad.

Try: "enjoying life. She's a stay at home mom. He's a hardworking dad.

A brat to the letter of definition.

Yeah... I'll pass. Take it out.

He is an asshole, but the good kind.

There is no good kind. Take it out.

He has nicknamed me puddles, so hope there's some towels and perhaps a tape measure

Be careful with this. Squirters can be a pain the ass because it means I'll be doing laundry later. This could turn some women off just as it can turn some guys on. I do not want you to squirt in my mouth. I say again, I DO NOT WANT YOU TO SQUIRT IN MY MOUTH OR ON MY FACE. Essentially no woman outside of Pornhub wants this. I do not want to get into a squirting competition with a tape measure. It's awesome you can do that, really, but as a girl, I would be afraid that I would be pressed into some kind of freak show performance. Maybe try this:

"I can gush a lot - volume and distance when I get excited. But don't worry. We have a waterproof play mat and I'll always let you know before it happens."

So anyway, make the changes with the pictures, adjust the text and repost.

Wolves? Probably not. We're not that uniform. The zoo, perhaps. ;-)

I am a charter member of Team Facial Hair, so I don't mind the mustache, but I definitely mind the expression. Dude, give me something to look forward to!

I have at least a four hour drive ahead of me, but I'll think about your text while I'm driving.

Ok, the rice is in. Now I have a little time to do this.

So you get the picture thing, that's good. I believe the single most important picture you can have is the DATE picture. It proves to me that you at least own nice clothes that you might wear on a date. You guys are only a few miles from Hillsboro beach go take some pictures at the beach - full body - and have someone else take them. Take pictures at a 5K run or to a Miami Heat game. Show how fun you are.

General rules for pictures: Never take one with a gun or a fish. Never take a selfie looking down at the camera. Google the word "contrapposto" - it's why Greek statues look so good. We almost always stand like that for pictures and it works for men and women. Stand like that when someone takes a picture.

Regarding the male half... Smile in your pictures. I also want to take a minute to talk about the mustache. Keep in mind that some women are going to like it, some won't. I'm not suggesting that you change who you are, but recognize the mustache will not be liked by everyone, You kind of got a Goose from Top Gun look going on there, which is fine, but you should know something. Very, very few men can pull off a mustache... Tom Selleck... Sam Elliot and ... I can't think of anyone else. I don't even like Jonathan from Queer Eye with a mustache.

So I guess I'm saying that you are probably going to get a lot of interest. Then you are going to get an email back where the response is "Sorry, but we are not a match at this time."

And here is what happened: The husband show his wife the pics. The wife vetoed because of the mustache. The husband has to write that dreaded "not interested at this time" Message.

So, again, I'm not saying to change who you are for this, but there are some women who will always say no to facial hair. I'll review the text in the next post.

Velmaandshaggy

I actually just read your post on the pictures and will get on those asap for a start. Thank you

I’m making piaya for dinner tonight, so I need to run some errands.

I opened my private pictures so you can see the DEBauCH method for taking pictures. I’ll explain and give you a longer review once I get back.

Been a member for almost a year took a hiatus for a bit from the site due to no luck and came back and opened our horizons more.

Was hoping for some critique on our profile i understand I’m throwing us into the pit of wolves So to speak.

Our pictures are current granted i know mine “hubby” aren’t great I’ve never been one for photos.

With that said lay it on us.