It went horribly wrong

"They could at least try" - this is my point, Mayhem8

And to the whole-mouth thing: exactly.

Kinda the whole point, so to speak.

BT

"... it could very well take that pressure off."

Absolutely

"No tongue, no fingers, no effort; just nothing."

That sucks. I know it's not the same but they could at least try. I know many times for me, licking/fingering a woman tends to get me hard again. One of the things I tend to really enjoy is getting a BJ while I finger a woman and/or rub her clit. I will sometimes use a little reverse psychology to help with the few times I had difficulty getting hard again.

Fully erect, any women with a typical gag reflex would not be able to take my whole cock in their mouth. It feels really good to have that done though and this can more easily happen when I'm soft. So, I actually think that, as long as I can stay soft I can get something I really enjoy. It kind of has the opposite effect that focusing on trying to get hard has.

So, if a woman were to ask a guy with erection problems to STAY soft so she could take the whole thing in her mouth it could very well take that pressure off. Of course, some women may have a different slant of this and think, "Yeah, typical guy. They always do the opposite of what we tell them."...lol

Thanks for the suggestion, CopnKitten

"I see why they come to parties. I feel sorry for their wives."

I feel that if a guy has ongoing issues they are in the lifestyle for their wife's pleasure

This is one of the things that Viagra seems to help with. I never need it for when the Mrs and I play with each other, but it's cheap insurance that everyone has a good time when we play with others.

Interesting, Yeahokay and thanks.

Glad to hear you had fun anyway.

In my case(s), they just dismounted and walked away. No tongue, no fingers, no effort; just nothing. I see why they come to parties. I feel sorry for their wives.

Ok, technically, there's a bat and some balls, but...

Mayhem8,
This section of your comment is interesting: I am starting to think that men have some genetic hard-wiring that doesn't let another man stay erect in the presence of another man actually fucking. Obviously not all guys have that problem but it is extremely common in our experience with same room play.

I've been to parties with multiple-people same-room play, and it's been about a 1-3 experience. (If I connect with three guys, 1 is actually able to stay erect.)

A .300 (33) batting average is decent, but only in the majors. I'm not at parties to play baseball.

Agree with GGMM that it happened that way.

Nope, the guy wasn't trying to penetrate without a condom. That's just what the husband thought and wouldn't listen to his wife, who had actually been using her hand.

It sounded to me like the guy was trying to enter her without a condom on when the hubby walked in, but with the original post deleted I can't be sure. She did say the guy couldn't get/stay hard so not sure if she managed to get him hard when the hubby came in or not. Either way it seemed like the LS was causing them way more grief than joy.

As bad as what he did felt, it could have actually been worse. It could have escalated to a physical confrontation with either the man of the other couple or you, or both. That is very possibly why your husband felt the need to remove himself.

The scenario you described is actually a VERY common one. I am starting to think that men have some genetic hard-wiring that doesn't let another man stay erect in the presence of another man actually fucking. Obviously not all guys have that problem but it is extremely common in our experience with same room play. This is one of the reasons that couples prefer separate room play. Now that there is a trust issue, that sounds unlikely for quite some time, if ever.

As to how to deal with it going forward, at some point when things cool down enough you'll obviously need to talk about what it means to/for your relationship first and maybe then whether you even want to continue in the LS. The whole purpose in doing it is to enhance your relationship, and if it's actually harming it then there's no point in doing it.

If you do decide to go forward, there are condoms for women that might be worth looking into. We personally don't have any experience with them but a couple other forum members have said they tried them. Unlike a man that needs to be erect to use one, a woman does not so they could be put in place in advance of playing.

I agree that you need to talk about it, and that's the only way to get past it, whether you decide to try it again or not.

Yeah, nobody ever thinks to have the "whatever happens, don't abandon me" discussion.

Your husband demonstrated a clear lack of trust in you and then he left you alone to pick up the pieces. His justification for doing so is just that. Until you both get to a place where you're not defensive and everyone is owning their actual shit instead of the self-justifying screen in front of the shit, you won't be moving past this very successfully.

Good luck.

I'm so sorry your experience didn't go well. Although I haven't experienced your exact same thing, there was a time when we had a misunderstanding that led to some hurt feelings. Emotions are running high. All I can tell you is talk about it, and then talk some more with each other. Nobody knows and understands you more than your spouse. You may feel like you don't ever want to swing again, and that's okay. You may talk about it, come to understand a little more why it happened, and then decide to try it again. Do what is best for you two. Good luck!