Just tell people the truth if they ask about it at all.
Likely no one will mention it. If they do, tell’em the truth.... you got stuck in a revolving door in New York City. :-| ;-) The point is, it is not important, and no one with any sense will spend much, if any, time talking about it.
——SLO
I know this is old, and I've already replied once. It is really reassuring to know that the men who commented are okay with women who have had breast cancer. I'm hoping most are if we (I) decide to play again.
VAbeach: that may be, but it's still relevant to many. Sharing info is good, and who knows how many newbies have the same question?
I had a mommy makeover a few years ago and have the tummy tuck scar, but have used some herbal oils and Scar Away patches to lessen the appearance of the scars. Before the surgery, I was chunkier and my boobs sagged more (the reasons for having the surgery, plus heavy boobs were killing my neck) but Hubby said I was sexy because I was confident in my swimsuit. Not cocky, just confident, and I FEEL sexier now!
Hubby has scars he likes to show off, cuz it kind of makes him feel tough. Especially the one that he should have gotten stitches for!
FYI we are answering someone who hasn't logged in in 309 days.
I know this is a women's thread, but if it helps...
I think I speak for the vast majority of guys when I say we honestly don't care. Now, that's not to say we won't notice it, so you're bound to catch our eyes looking at it for a second the first time we see it. But honestly we get over it in 0.078 seconds, unless you feel the need to discuss it on the spot, which I don't recommend.
I recently gave a massage to a woman that had a tummy tuck, and her scar was visible when she removed her panties. I talked to her as I slowly worked my down to her scar, had her take in deep breaths and exhale the anxiety. She is a very sexy woman, and relaxed once she heard the calm in my voice and together we inched toward the scar. I massaged the oil onto the scar, while nibble her ear, and kissing her nipples. Soon she fully relaxed and no longer had thoughts about it.
I took a trip to Nevis in the Carribean and met a beautiful woman who had a double mastectomy, breast implants with tattoos for nipples. She had a few scars, but still we had an amazing sexual adventure. I have several scars from hernia, appendix, misc adventures. I often will lay next to a woman and relive the scene from Jaws where the talk about how they got their scars.
Mayhem - that reminds me of a non-swinger experience when I was dating. I'd had a couple dates with this gal and we really liked each other. When she realized we'd probably end up in bed on one date, she told me she'd had a total mastectomy on both breasts and that her new boobs were implants with tattooed nipples. She was so nervous telling me about it that I felt really bad for her. We did end up getting naked that night and after she realized her scars were no big deal for me, we had awesome sex including boob play - which she loved. I'm sure she would have traded her scars for a C-section scar any day.
I have played with a woman that had one of her breasts removed and had not had reconstructive surgery. Another that had both removed, had the surgery, but her nipples were tatooed on. Both were lovely, inside and out, and I'd have no problems getttng with either again.
Both of us have scars. As far as I know my husband has never thought twice about his, but when we first started I worried. But now, eh. I've had babies, surgeries, I've had accidents.
Personally, I find scars fascinating. They are evidence of a life lived well so far. Our bodies are not meant to be perfect specimens to be viewed behind a glass in a museum. In fact, whenever I’ve done team building exercises with new strangers, one of my favorite questions is “tell me about a scar you have and how you got it”. The stories you will hear!!
Anyone want to share interesting scar stories? The only one I have is on my right knee, made from racing my sister down a long gravel driveway when I was four. She won. :)
~Kira
Next time you're worried about your scar(s), think about this guy we met at a LS nude resort. He was at the side of the pool taking off his artificial lower leg as his wife was introducing him to us. He held his leg above his head as he slipped into the pool and said "I got a leg up on ya!" Just go with what ya got and have fun.
@mayhem, you're right, I assumed the female. My bad. But same answer for me minus the boobs. It wouldn't cross my mind for a second if a guy had a big nasty obvious scar, it's not my biz or problem. Wife says the same thing. If the guy is fun and nice, that's all we care. Especially as we get older, the likely hood of scars is higher, it happens. Don't sweat it
You could always put on a temp. tattoo during those nude times....Mary Jo
FF - FWIW, the scar could have been on the male half.
If it was on the male half, it seems to me that most women are less superficial than men. If it was the female half, I seriously doubt many (if any) men here would even notice or care.
Not sure if this will help, but try to imagine you looking at someone else with this scar and ask yourself if you would care or be bothered by it. Chances are, you wouldn't, and very likely others wouldn't as well.
I can assure you, I'd never see a scar on the OP with an amazing body like hers. Same goes for all women, the boobs distract me way too much to see imperfections. Just being honest
Old post, but probably still of interest to some people. Once you go to a nudist resort and see 100 naked people, you see many of them have some scar big or small, here or there, you realize it's no big deal at all.
By knowing the lay of our land.
There is a reaction spectrum (bell curve) to body disfigurement. One tail includes the several who are repelled. On the other - a few scar fetishes types - who will spend way too much of your time focusing on it. Most folks in the middle will notice the difference and carry on pleasing you and themselves.
Per CDC the national rate of newborn circumcision during their birth hospitalization in 1981 was 64.9%. Unless you travel internationally for our unusual hobby, most of your male partners will be scarred - missing their foreskins also known as helmets versus turtlenecks.
Nothing to worry about.
A woman with a very large and deep abdominal scar was the turning point for my Mrs. She was self-conscious about her body till she saw this woman with this big scar strip and get in a hot tub in front of us. She was so impressed by that girl being able to do that and be sexy doing it that she basically said, if she can do it, so can I. She is no longer self-conscious about her body.
Never, EVER be ashamed of scars. We all get them from living, and should be proud that we have!
You're not gonna have any problems. I have more than my share of scars, if they're ever noticed it's sort of an afterthought, nobody makes it an issue.
Besides, if you found that someone was that shallow, would you still wanna play with them?
I always told my kids, scars build character.
I wouldn't worry too much, if someone gets that close, they aren't thinking about your scars.
How do you navigate dealing with insecurity due to scars? I am very embarrassed about a particular scar because it will be seen if I play with anyone.
