SLS needs to be more tolerant

Sounds a little fishy to me.

BT

What ???

SLS needs to make it easier to send pics on their char page.

Makes me wonder if his winning attitude is why Tom is now "Kat-less" in NY.

~Scamp

I'm not running, TomKat. I'm right here. I pop onto these boards every few days or so. Sometimes, more, sometimes less often. What would you have emailed to me that you can't say here? ...Tell me to go f' myself, for suggesting that your fantasy of a boycott was silly?

I'm sorry, but I have very little tolerance for the SM narrative that the LS and/or the vehicles which bring it to us, is unfair. It just is what it is. You either accept it as the way that it is or you don't, but complaining or whining about how unfair it is simply paints the SM in question in a negative light. I put ridiculous fantasies in the same category. Just my opinion though. Others may feel differently.

As for having my profile closed to SMs, I thought it best to do so because I have no interest in SMs. I also have no interest in receiving private email from someone who feels they've been somehow slighted by something I've written on an anonymous sex site discussion board. My expectation would be that they'd feel free to post as I have. ... Call me crazy...wouldn't be the first time.

Yeah, I poked fun at your fantasy. Honestly though, I really would like to see all of the other SMs boycott this site and leave me here, alone with the SFs and Couples, who have interest in SMs... What SM wouldn't??

Y'all have fun now,

BT

Yes, Bridgetender, who has his profile blocked so single males can't reply directly to his hit-and-run posts, you stay in the "safety" of your jeep, like a good boy. Y'all come back now, hear!

TomKat,

That's a great fantasy! I think you should put it in play... Get all the SMs to boycott this site!

I'll just hang out here and wait for you to report back on your progress.

BT

I'll stay in the safety of the Jeep, while my assistant, TomKat...

I’m sure this has been addressed in this thread but SLS doesn’t control the policies of Groups, Clubs or party events. Singles have all the same privelesges as couples on the site including the right to block members or groups.

If your local club or group blocks singles, take it up with them, SLS has no say so in their policies.

~Scamp

Privateice, I can't begin to imagine how beneficial something like that would be for singles, but I also can't imagine anything that would be more difficult to actually get put together. Super kudos are deserved by the group you're making reference to for sure.

Tramp

swinging is about couples, lifestyle is about cashing in on single men

Around here (Richmond/Hampton Roads, Virginia) some "like minded" singles recently got together and founded a LS singles group. I don't run it. The woman and man who do seem to do a pretty good job. They keep the ratio of m/f at events pretty even.

We don't seem to have much problem getting decent males, being one of the few LS events which welcomes single men. Any man who gets invited has to be "vouched" for and so far, they are very nice.

Getting women to attend is a challenge. I don't know if that will be the case once we get some traction. Although the women who do come seem to enjoy themselves.

So far, it's been really a good thing.

I guess that's the point, if you don't like how the groups you have are run, there is one great solution....

If OP writes to me off forum, I'll connect you with the person who runs our singles group. You can get an idea of how they structure it.

I find it very difficult meeting likeminded singles on sites like this... I was married before and in the lifestyle but am also no longer a couple and now in a new city it tough. I believe its because there are soooo many people in my area that lie or whatever it puts a bad name on us truly single professional males "just living the dream"!!!!!

I don't know so much about how the groups go about things as we have never really followed that sort of thing.

However, I don't think that the LS in general is non-tolerant for single guys (truely single ones).

In fact, were it not for some decent SMs along the way, Lady would have had little, if any, fun in this adventure.

There have been one or two exceptions, but it's been the occassional single guy with whom Lady has been able to have the best times.

It's not that we find anything at all wrong with married folks, but the truth is that (contrary to what I see many write), couples are often not equally matched.

The obvious reason for that is simple. People fall in love with each other for very different reasons than the obvious ones that might lead to a promiscuous one-time encounter.

Because of that, it is a somewhat rare thing for two couples to encounter each other and all four people end up equally interested. It happens, but not that often.

So...

I for one (and Lady for another) am thankful for the interesting singles we've occassionally ran across.

Salute.

Tramp

"Blocking" is not being "more tolerant". Just ignore: which achieves the same

Nutcal’s idiocy and lunacy were at times entertaining. The incoherent political rants, overt racism and misogyny are why we blocked him.

~S~

"...most people have ncal blocked because he's as cracked as cut rate window glass..."

...Those/you lucky bastiches!

OP, heed MsMolly's advice. We're out there.

Good luck,

BT

OP, I think most people have ncal blocked because he's as cracked as cut rate window glass in a bad neighborhood, so let me be the one to tell you that his version of the past is incorrect. Singles have (even apparently during the key parties) had a role in swinging.

As far as your complaint of intolerance on the part of SLS, I kind of think you might be confusing the website, which is all inclusive, with the groups that list their events on the website. A few groups are just for couples, many groups and clubs are just for couples and women, but a bunch are for couples and singles. It sounds like you want the last category, and there are lots of options for that. Plus, there are lots of men with profiles here and I'm sure many of them would be willing to meet you and even escort you to events. You also might want to look more closely at clubs within driving range. Some, even if it's couples and women on Saturdays, will allow men on other nights.

Swinging was never about single men, never part of swinging, never allowed into any club or group or party. The lifestyle is the commercialization of swinging and now single men are allowed because they pay huge money to get into a club or party.

The commercialization of anything ruins it. Swinging used to be so much fun with almost everyone getting naked and playing with other people at a party or club. Now because of the commercialization of swinging hardly anyone gets naked and play at a club or party.

Also what has been lost is that swinging the men where complexity into the women and their pleasure and learned how to be very skilled in bed. Sex was the art of bring pleasure to a woman. The more skilled the man was the more the women wanted to fuck him and the more his wife got status in the group. Women would say to the wife of a very skilled man how lucky she was.

The lifestyle makes huge money off of single men and its more about the single men getting laid then the pleasures of the women. The art and skills of sex by men are gone. Just the thought of rough sex that is considered normal today would have gotten a couple thrown out of a club or group in the days of swinging.

just remember, SLS does not dictate what hosts of parties can and can't do. That is up to the party hosts.

I do understand your frustration. Although we do have a vast circle of "friends" if I (male) were to ever become single, I would not be allowed at many of the parties that we currently attend.

For straight SF, it must be just as difficult as a SM. Since you are not interested in couples, but just want a guy.

There are parties that do allow SM's, and they do limit them to <10 per party.

PCB said, "Read the forums and the vocal majority will rant about how singles are ruining there site. "

The majority? Really? I think you need to read more carefully ONE member bitches regularly about SMs and that's Nutcal.

Of course he does (or did--we blocked him) so frequently it can seem like more that one person...

~rabbit~

The lifestyle in general is biased against singles. Too often All SM are thrown in the same bucket as being incompetent lieing flakes and SF as unicorns who only want to play with couples or groups. Read the forums and the vocal majority will rant about how singles are ruining there site. We all need to work through that BS static as there are people who are more open, enjoy singles for play and are worth the time and effort to get to know. You should attend a local party and, I fully expect, will find welcoming people.

One other option is to keep your profile as a couple, and first thing explain you are now solo. I have seen several SF who have done so and on this site may be the best work around. Good luck!

"...glowering..."

Ah, now there's a word I haven't seen, used, or spelled correctly in a long while.

Tramp

Sorillo,

You gonna be passing out the union cards?

Hey SM you can't go where the others go

Cuz you don't look like they do...

Son, that's just the way it is.

Some things will never change...

B_(ruce Hornsby)_Tender

People want what they want. Single men are pretty far down the list, and that's just the reality. If a group wants to include select single men, then they'll form the group that way. I don't like the idea of glowering at a group simply because they are more couples-oriented, or God forbid, forcing them to accept singles.

If us singles want more singles-friendly groups, then we need to form those groups ourselves rather than complain about how those other groups are intolerant.

I join this group as part of a couple and now find myself single. Although the intro to SLS says it includes singles and couples, the focus of SLS and most of the groups are couples. As a single female, I thought the safety of this group would help me meet like minded single males to share our passion of the lifestyle.

However, I find the men are often blocked, and not included, thus limiting me to become a play toy for other couples or playing with someone else's man. I understand having to be cautious and avoid aggressive men. However, I feel the organization needs to change their process and include more singles.

For example, if a man has been established in SLS as part of a couple and suddenly becomes single like myself, why can't the site/groups grandfather this male into events and list? Obviously, he has proven himself as a gentleman and can conduct himself properly. Can there be an override button to waive past members that have a long standing in the group? Why must they be cast out simply cause they are no longer with a particular partner. Can't groups be more open to a good mixed ratio of couples, single females and single men?
Being a third wheel is no fun. I've very disappointed in attitude towards singles.